All is Lost (All Series, Book 2) (7 page)

Damn, that night seems like a lifetime
ago
.

We discovered that we share many similar
interests. Personally, I don't think it's necessary for a couple to
be evenly matched, but damn if Breesan and I aren't close to
perfect. She trusted me enough to share some pretty painful shit
about her family history and that was the moment I knew all I ever
wanted was to make her smile.

Remembering her absolute excitement during
that storm makes me think of a place I need to visit. Before I
break several traffic laws getting from Rhys’ house to the hospital
I make a quick and important stop. My girl needs a special
umbrella. Luckily Design by Love has the perfect one. My stop has
only delayed me returning to her arms by a few minutes, but it
feels like it added years to the last time I touched my lips to
hers. I chuckle for feeling like a damn horny teenager. My personal
trainer once told me I could do anything for ten seconds, but he is
dead wrong. I’ll go damn crazy if I don’t get Breesan in my arms in
the next five.

Chapter Four

Breesan

Rain begins falling just as I enter the
hospital. Sadly the beautiful sunrise Marcus and I shared this
morning will be in hiding for a couple of days now according to the
weather reports. Any other time and I would be loading up my packs
and heading out in the storm chaser truck to monitor it all night.
Not today. More important things need my attention. Very important
people need
me
.

Walking into the Intensive Care Unit at Willow
General Hospital I notice groups of people from last night’s party
sitting in the waiting area. I scan the room for a friend when I
spot a very sad woman sitting alone staring out the window. She
notices me, but then quickly averts her eyes. We're not friends,
but somehow I thought that maybe she would act differently toward
me after everything that went down yesterday. I'm not a comforting
person, but she looks completely dejected. Going against everything
that I would normally do, even though I don't want to add to her
pain, I take the open seat beside her.

“
Hi Waverly,” I say. “I didn't get
a chance yesterday, but I want to introduce myself.”

She looks at me like I've grown three heads
before snapping, “I know who you are, Breesan.”

I nod my head and look at the doorway ready to
bolt. “Oh,” I sigh, “Well, I didn't come over here to upset you so
I'll just leave you alone.”

Her unwarranted attitude toward me is exactly
the reason why I didn’t let people in my life after what happened
to me in middle school.
Don’t think about that now.
I
quickly stand up eager to get away from her, but feel a hand on my
forearm tugging me back down.

“
No, please,” Waverly says, “You
don't have to go. I'm sorry I was shitty to you.” Her cheeks redden
but she never looks away from me. “I just…ohgod, it's been a bad
couple of days for me. But I guess I'm not the only one who is
feeling like hell.”

“
Yeah, I guess so.” Sadness for her
failed relationship with Morgan creeps into my eyes and she
notices.

“
I guess Morgan told you about us,
huh?”

“
He said some things, but I'm not
the best person to talk to about relationships. He probably didn't
feel comfortable telling me too much.” I smile and add, “I’m
sorry.”

What am I apologizing about? She cares for
Morgan.
Great, it's not like she has anything to worry about
with me. Wait. She's jealous. That explains her attitude toward me.
But why would she be jealous of me?

“
I don't know what Morgan told you
about us,” I start, watching her eyes narrow on me, “But we only
just recently became friends. We met for the first time the night
of his welcome home party. It was a blind date set up by Anna and
Tristan. It was more for me than him.” I stutter. “Obviously, he
doesn't need to be set up on a blind date. He can get anyone he
wants, but Anna thought he was safe for me.” She narrows her eyes.
“Oh hell, this is not making any sense, and I don't think I can
explain it any better.” I frown, feeling horrible about the
stupidity gushing out of my suddenly unhinged mouth.

“
Breesan I know about the blind
date. Tristan is a good friend of mine.” Waverly says. I know I
look shocked because she begins laughing at me. “Don't be so
shocked Breesan. I'm not a horrible person.”

“
Ohgod no,” I rush my words. “I
didn't think that!”

She shakes her head and smiles sadly before
looking around the room and then drops her eyes to her shaky hands
resting in her lap. She takes a deep breath and I watch as she lets
down her defenses to me. I am not prepared for all that she
confesses.

“
I fell for him,” she starts.
“Morgan.” I nod. “It happened a long time ago. But I didn't tell
him, not once. I knew when I first met him that he was unlike any
man I'd ever met. He's charming, intelligent and just cool to hang
around with. He's not afraid to try anything. God he can be
completely reckless at times. And he also has a desire to… control
situations.” She giggles under her breath. “When I started seeing
Morgan it was only supposed to be about sex.”
Ohgod, I don’t
want to hear this
. “I really thought I could be that type of
girl. For him I wanted to be everything he needed. But from the
first night we were together he made me feel like I was priceless,
cherished and I had never been so loved in all of my
life.”

Embarrassed by her sharing such intimate
details regarding her relationship with Morgan, I blush, but also
feel a fluttering in my belly from the excitement of knowing
exactly how she feels. After being in Marcus' arms last night, I
too experienced everything that she is describing. Before him, I
would never have related to her feelings for Morgan.

“
But he's…well, I guess you could
say that our relationship is complicated.” She takes a breath. “He
says all he ever wanted from me was sex and that he would never be
available to give me more. In the beginning, I was fine with it,
but something changed last year.” She pauses, staring at me. “For
the first time Morgan gave more of himself to me then than he ever
had before. Don't get me wrong he's never been a selfish lover; he
didn't have to be. I enjoyed doing for him.”

She smiles, but happiness doesn’t shine in her
eyes as she continues. “I knew something significant must have
happened. It took a while, but he finally told me about Elise. I'm
sure you know all about her.”

I nod and she continues. “He told me that he
felt something for her, something like love. That completely
crushed me. Here I was falling for a playboy who fell for a selfish
bitch. Elise first had Marcus and then moved on to Morgan causing
this huge rift between them. She didn’t stop there. No that vile
creature made them feel like they weren't important enough to
choose one over the other. Who does that?”

She's growls deeply, “Fucking bitch!” Her
hands tighten into clenched fists and her face grows redder by the
minute. “The way she hurt both of them was so wrong. I wanted to
track her down and beat the hell out of her. Believe me if I could
have gotten my hands on her I would have done just that, and when
Morgan came back to Willow after that brutality, he was different.
We spent one night together where he was so much more passionate in
bed than ever before. It was as if he couldn't get enough of me.
For me it felt like love.”

I am completely engrossed in her story now
that I don’t even notice that the crowd in the waiting room has
thinned out until an odd noise coming from somewhere in the hallway
grabs my attention. Wanting to remain courteous as she continues
sharing about her predicament, I keep listening but scan the room.
Where did everyone go?

She sighs heavily before continuing, “I was
always so damn foolish when it came to Morgan Walker. When I woke
up in the middle of the night he was gone. Like a ghost, from our
twisted past, he vanished right out of my bed…no note…nothing.
Except for his scent left behind to torture me, there was no trace
of him left behind. Just like all the times before. I should have
expected it, but I didn’t and it completely devastated me. I felt
so stupid for allowing my heart to believe that there was more
between us than there really was. Realistically, Morgan never
promised me
all
of him only
some
of him. Lesson
learned.

“
Later that night I was working at
the club. After we closed I stayed late and had way too much to
drink. Tristan was riding along with another officer patrolling.
They stopped by when he saw the open light still flashing and my
car parked in the back parking lot. Like I said I had way too much
to drink and before I knew what was happening I had told them
everything. I cried on Tristan’s shoulder and he just listened.
I've never had anyone care enough to devote that much concern on
me.” Her breath catches. “Tristan is such a good person and it
sickens me that someone did this to
him
. I just can't
believe it. He's never done anything to anyone. You
know?”

“
Yes,” I whisper my agreement as my
heart seizes with pain at remembering what happened and the text
message that I got afterward.
Mygod, who would do this evil to
such a good man
? She wipes away the tears welling in her eyes
with the back of her hand then stares down at the spot of moisture
left there. She uses the pad of her thumb to slowly smear it
away.

“
Tristan never judged me. He told
me that I should value myself and if Morgan wants me then he needs
to stop being selfish. He told me to not want someone who didn’t
want me. But my heart was so deeply immersed with all things Morgan
Walker that I couldn't end it. So the next time we were together I
had to pretend that sex was all that I wanted. Since then that's
all I've done is pretend that it is enough. All the while it's been
growing into so much more for me.”

“
The strange thing about it all is
it's almost as if lately he can sense something has changed. Or
maybe I'm fooling myself again. I don't know. All I do know is that
when life is shitty and I have nothing to look forward to, it's
like Morgan knows, because he suddenly appears, and then everything
is right in the world again.”

She shakes her head and another stifled cry
slips past her lips. She covers her mouth with her hand and pierces
me with a painful stare. Something tells me her story is not going
to end well.

Her breathing is ragged. “Yesterday changed
all that. He told me there was someone else and…I slapped him. Then
I almost slept with an ex-boyfriend. But Morgan found us together,
stopping that terrible plan. We said some vicious things to each
other–things that cannot be taken back. I don't know that I could
ever forgive him for what he said to me.” Shaking her head, she
whispers, “Breesan, as stupid as it sounds I still love him, but
it's over and I don't know how to not want him.” Staring at the
doorway, she adds, “Part of me hopes I see him here and the other
part of me is scared to death of what he might do when he sees me.
I'm so damn confused. God, why does it have to be like this? Why
did I have to give my heart to the damn playboy? Marcus is the
total opposite of Morgan. That's who I should have fallen for not
Morgan.”

Suddenly a wave of jealousy rushes through me.
Feeling completely awkward by her admission of wishing she fell for
Marcus, I stand up not knowing what the hell I should do., but I
can’t even look at her again. The only thing I do know is I can't
continue to listen to her talk about being with Marcus or I might
do something foolish that will embarrass both of us, so I just walk
away from her.

Booming voices draw my attention and I realize
it is the same muffled noise I heard earlier. Outside the door
leading to the intensive care unit I spot several of the officers
that work with Tristan and their families gathering. My fear that
something bad has happened to Tristan drives me to walk down the
hallway to see what the commotion is about.

Being from Willow I know most of the police
force, so I'm not shocked when I see so many familiar faces and
several of them nod their heads acknowledging me as I pass. Some
have their eyes downcast, but all have sadness etched in their
features. The noise grows and now I can tell that it is angry
voices coming from beyond the double doors of the intensive care
unit.

I stand on my tip toes, peek through the small
window near the top of the door and spot Tristan’s grandfather and
dad standing in front of a glass wall that I assume is Tristan's
room. Beck has his arms crossed with a dismissive look set on his
face. Granddad Walker's arms are stretched wide one second and
flailing around the next. Typically, I'm not a nosy person, but
this scene has my nerves on edge. I've never seen Granddad so
upset. A nurse pushes the door open from inside, bumping into me
causing me to fall backward into someone. Small hands grab me by
the arms helping me stand up again. Turning around to thank them, I
see that it's Waverly. She must have heard the commotion and
decided to investigate too.

“
Thanks.” I say.

“
Yeah, no problem,” Waverly mumbles
before asking, “What's going on in there anyway?”

“
I'm not sure, but whatever it is I
think I'll stay out here until it's over.”