“It’s not that. My dad … he …”
“He still hasn’t changed then?” She placed her hand on my shoulder.
It made me jump. I felt terrible that I’d had such a reaction. It would have looked as if she repulsed me. She didn’t remove it though. I didn’t mind either. I just wasn’t used to someone touching me in a loving way. The only time I got touched by my dad was when he hit me.
“I’m sorry I’m jumpy,” I quickly said.
“It’s okay … and it’s completely understandable. If you ever need anywhere to stay, you’re always welcome here.”
I looked up at her. She was smiling again. This one was different than when she’d welcomed me, though. She felt sorry for me that was plain to see. Her eyes looked so kind. “Thank you … and he hasn’t changed. I don’t think he ever will.”
“Maybe he will one day. Stranger things have happened.” She squeezed my shoulder. I didn’t jump that time. “Why don’t you go and help Alec with his costume and get changed into yours, he’s been standing in front of that mirror for hours, maybe you can hurry him along.”
“I’ll try, but you know what he’s like.”
“I do.”
I didn’t want to leave her. I felt safe in her company. If it wouldn’t have been so easy for my dad to find me there, I’d have run off and lived with them. I would have to travel farther away though. Somewhere he would never think to look. No one could know where I’d gone. Not even Alec, which really upset me, but it was for the best. It would keep both of us safe.
I was just about to enter Alec’s room when his mom said, “And don’t be concerned. If your dad calls, we’ve not seen you.” She winked.
I smiled and said, “Thank you.”
“June, is that you?” Alec shouted from inside his room.
“Yep, it’s me. Is it safe to come in? You’re not naked are you?”
“Nope. Enter, my fair maiden.”
“I’m not fair, but I’m coming in.”
Alec’s room was geek heaven. The walls were covered in DC and Marvel posters. The one he had of the Joker over his bed always freaked me out, though. His grotesque smile reminded me too much of my dad’s.
Alec had an awesome gaming station setup in the corner, too. He even had one of those chairs that rumbled and had built-in speakers. He’d let me sit in it, he’s pretty precious about it but he allowed me the honor, but I hadn’t done it since. Not because he wouldn’t let me, but because he’d made a joke about the rumbling and vibrations, that I was enjoying them too much. That embarrassed me enough to not use it again.
Alec was standing in front of his mirror, fixing his hair into pigtails. He already had on his Sailor Moon costume. He wore more girly clothes than I did. “What do you think?” he asked. I gave him the thumbs up. “Do you think any sexy girls at the convention are just itching to hook up with a guy dressed as a female anime character?”
“You tell me, I’ve never been to one before. Do they have a thing for confusingly-gendered people at these things?” I went and sat on his bed, having to push some frilly panties out of the way before I could find a space free of clothes big enough to fit my fat butt.
“I have a problem, as you know.”
“A big one.”
“Ha. Ha. Very funny. I mean, I dress like a girl, but I’m straight. When girls see me dressed as a girl, they think I’m gay. Which ruins my chances with them, unless they want to be friends. I’m hoping I’ll meet a drunk lesbian or something.”
“I think she might be a little shocked when she reaches up your skirt and finds a dick.”
“That’s why she needs to be drunk.” He turned to me, did a little spin. His hair was fixed in the pigtails. “So, what do you think?”
“Very pretty.” He was too. It was so annoying. He looked better in girl clothes than I did. Damn him for being skinny and for having such sexy legs.
“So what costume have you brought to wear?”
“Well, I couldn’t afford to buy anything, so I had to make something out of what I already had.”
He bounced down onto the bed next to me. “Let me guess, you’re going as a Nirvana fan?”
“I’m not wearing it yet, you idiot.”
He did cat claws at me and meowed. “Calm down, kitty. I was joking.” I punched him in his arm. He grabbed at it and rubbed. “Hey, take it easy. I’m fragile.”
“You’re a pussy.” I smiled. Then a pillow hit me in the face. “You do that again, and you’re a dead man, Alec.”
“I’m not Alec today.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot, sorry. You do that again, and you’re a dead woman, Paula.” I waved my finger at him. He tried to bite it, so I snatched it away. We both laughed. “Do I have to call you Paula? I’ll get confused.”
“Just don’t call me Alec around anyone else.”
“That seems even more confusing.”
“What about this, just call me babe. That way, it doesn’t matter when you call it me or who we’re around”
“Okay, I’m sure I’ll forget, though.”
“You won’t. I’ll tickle you just before anyone comes to talk to us, as a reminder.”
“Don’t. You know that makes me pee.”
“Why do you think I’m going to do it?” I punched him in the arm again. He hit me in the face with the pillow again. “Stop keeping me in suspense. What’s your costume?” He clapped his hands in front of him like an excited Japanese schoolgirl.
“Doctor Who,” I said, unsure what his reaction would be. He hated that show just as much as I hated Sailor Moon.
“Ha.”
“Don’t laugh, it’s the best I could do.”
“I’m not laughing at the costume … Well I am, but not in the way you’re probably thinking. So, I’m going to the convention dressed as a girl and you’re going dressed as a guy. We’ll make the cutest couple.”
He laughed. I laughed.
“Okay, that is funny,” I said.
“Get changed quickly. The cab will be here to pick us up soon.”
“Where?”
“Here.”
“Are you talking about the cab, or where I can get changed?”
“Both.”
“I’m not getting changed in front of you.”
“You can get changed behind me, I’ll turn around.”
“No peeking, though.”
“I would never do such a thing.”
“I’m not sure that’s true.”
“I would peek, but not at you.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I raised my voice a little too loud.
“You both okay in there?”
“Yeah, fine, Mom!” Alec shouted at the door. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he said to me.
“What did you mean it like?” I raised my fist, ready.
“I meant, I wouldn’t peek at you because you’re my best friend. That’s not what friends do.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t think anyone would want to peek.” A tear snuck free. I wasn’t the most confident of people when it came to my body. I was too fat for my liking, for anyone’s liking, if the bullies were right.
“Are you crying?”
“No.”
“You are.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
“Okay, I am … just a little.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“Are you on your period?”
I punched him again and the tears turned to laughter. He didn’t hit me with the pillow that time, though.
“Now that the pillow fight, boxing match, and tears are out of the way, hurry up and get changed, will you?”
“Sure. Turn around … and if you want to peek … knock yourself out. Just make sure you don’t hurl.” I smiled but I’d hurt myself with my own damn joke. Once I’d run away I’d have to make sure I’d saved enough cash for therapy. I was a mess.
“Don’t put yourself down like that … but I didn’t need your permission to peek. I was already going to look that way, toward the mirror, and use it to keep my perverted eyes on you without you even knowing.” He winked.
I laughed. Then he turned around toward the mirror. I bent down and took my Converse off. “Your butt looks great even when it’s clothed.”
I had to laugh a little. “I’m glad you like it, but trust me, it looks way better when it’s covered.”
“I’ll be the judge of that, thank you very much.”
I removed the tickets from the front of my jeans and threw them on the bed. “The tickets are on the bed.” Then I started to have a panic attack, apprehensive about what panties I’d decided to wear. I pulled the zipper down on my jeans and had a quick look. They were black, with white skulls. It could have been worse. It was washday; I usually wore a pair of horrible white cotton ones.
I took a deep breath and slid them down over my butt, wondering what Alec would be thinking, or if he was even looking. I pushed out the horrible thoughts concerning how fat my ass was and bent my right leg to pull the jeans off.
I fell onto the bed. “Shit!”
“Don’t panic, Mom,” Alec called out between laughter. “June just tripped.”
“Sorry, that was kinda loud.”
“Yeah, it was.”
I stood up and managed to remove both legs without falling on my face. I kicked my jeans somewhere in the room and went to bend over for my backpack. Then I remembered I might have eyes on me, so I made sure I behaved in a much more lady-like manner. I angled myself so my side was facing him and bent from my knees.
I removed the trousers I’d brought for my Doctor Who costume and clumsily put them on, cursing myself in my head at the lack of sex appeal I had. Not that I had the hots for Alec, well, maybe a little, but no matter how hard I tried to be sexy it was always a losing battle.
Once I was zipped up, I turned my back to him again and removed my t-shirt. My hair went everywhere. It must have looked like I’d been electrocuted. The bra I was wearing didn’t match the panties, it was white, but that was the least of my concerns at that moment. My flabby hips and possible back fat was a much more pressing anxiety.
I didn’t hang around. I put the shirt on I’d brought, fastened the braces in place, pulled on the jacket as quick as possible and held my Sonic screwdriver out in front as I turned to him, trying to see if I could see my reflection in the mirror he was facing.
“So, what do you think?” I asked.
He turned to me. “Well, apart from the fall, you put on a great show. I love your ass.” He smiled. I did love his smile.
I think I went red at that point. “I mean, about the costume.”
“It’s great.”
“Thank you.”
“It’s not bad considering you threw it together yourself.”
“I wasn’t saying thank you for that.”
“Oh … it is a good butt, you know?”
“It’s not too big, fat, ugly?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Others don’t seem to agree with you.”
“Do you make a habit of showing it to people?”
“No.”
“Well, how do you know they don’t agree?”
“I can see your point … and thank you for trying to make me feel better. But I still hate it ... and my whole body.”
“Next time I’ll position the mirror so I can critique your boobs for you.” He smiled again.
My heart skipped a beat and my embarrassment grew. “You’re a true gentleman.”
“I’m a lady … remember.” He winked at me.
I winked at him. “Sorry, I forgot. See, it is confusing for me.”
“Alec! June! The cab is here!”
“Thanks, Mom … So, are you ready, Doctor?”
“I guess so. Are you ready, my lady?”
“Always.”
At that moment the whole room, possibly the whole building, started to shake. There was a thunderous rumble sounding all around. Alec’s action figures started to fall over, his gaming system started to rattle, looking like it was going to tip. I grabbed onto Alec, he grabbed onto me, and we both sat on the floor, hugging into each other and the bed.
“What the fuck?” Alec said, having to shout to be heard over the roaring the Earth seemed to be making. It sounded pissed.
“Earthquake?” I asked, I don’t think he heard though. The noise was already deafening, but it got a whole lot worse when the whistling kicked in. The sound seemed to penetrate my brain. An instant headache erupted. We both let go of each other and clamped our hands over our ears. I could still hear the whistling though and a chorus of barking; yapping dogs off in the distance somewhere.
Alec’s TV crashed to the floor and the screen smashed. The power cut off and the room went black. Then the shaking stopped, the whistling too. The power flashed back for a few seconds, the lights came on, we heard alarms sounding outside, and then the power went out again, while at the same time, all the bulbs in the room exploded in a shower of little spikey shards, some landing in my hair. The alarms had died. The dogs had stopped crying and howling.
We were in pitch black. I removed my hands from my ears. “What just happened?”
“There’s a flashlight under my bed, grab it for me, would you?” He stood as I reached under the bed and let my hand feel its way to the flash. “Mom, are you okay?” She didn’t answer. “We need to check on my mom.”