Alex's Destiny (Racing To Love) (14 page)

After seeing Heather walk toward him, her world had disintegrated into a puff of smoke and the love she’d known for a lifetime vanished before her very eyes. However, seeing the vivid pictures laid out in her lap, his words from this morning started to come together. She hadn’t wanted to let herself believe him, had blamed his admission on his guilt, but…

“Whatcha ya got, kiddo?”

Alex screamed as her hands flew off the album, gripping the only thing available, the short strands of Dallas’s worn bedroom carpet. Eli dropped to his knees beside her, pulling her tightly to his chest.

“God, I’m so sorry, Alex. I—I never meant to startle you sweetheart. Shh, it’s okay.” Swallowing her heart back down from her throat, she nodded. “I came in here to let you know the pizza was here. You must have been so lost in all these pictures you didn’t even hear the guy knock.”

They weren’t leaving the apartment.

Oh, thank God.

“K. Thanks,” she softly answered.

Sitting down beside her, he too leaned against the bed, pulling the album across her legs to share the weight of it between them. “Wow. It seems like only yesterday.” He had a wistfulness to his voice as he shook his head. Eli flipped slowly through a few pages with a laugh here, a snort there at the goofy faces. “He’s been in love with you for so long.”

She turned to her uncle, after a long minute of smiling at the pictures, he finally glanced up at her.

“What?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, hon. It was just a matter of timing. We all knew it.”

“But?”

“Heather?”

The man had a way of making it easier to talk to, of knowing what she wanted to ask, without making her voice the words herself. She nodded with her lower lip between her teeth.

“My son, I hope you can forgive his sorry ass for that one of these days, Alex.

I love that boy, but damn. I didn’t know when I adopted him it would lower his IQ level, and he’d do something as stupid as I did once. He was old enough to understand back then, I thought maybe he’d learned from my mistake. At least, I had hoped he would.”

“Your mistake?”

“Yeah, you were just a baby girl back then. I don’t even think you were four yet. Do you remember waiting for me to come back home, and we were in Aunt Honor’s black Camaro?”

Furrowing her brow, she started to nod tentatively as the scenes played through her mind. “Kind of? I remember, you left, and then a few days later you all came back. Wasn’t it after a party? At your house, right?”

“Yeah. I had begged Aunt Honor to stay in
Pennsylvania with me—begged. However, I was stupid. Once she got on the plane, your mom knocked some sense into me.”

“Sounds like Mom.”

Eli grinned. “You know it. She helped me see Honor needed more than what I was offering at the time—and I don’t mean a house or belongings. She needed to know if she committed, it was forever. I jumped on a plane and chased her all the way to Tennessee. Dropped to my knee right there on her doorstep and asked her to marry me.”

“How come I’ve never heard this story?”

“Because it’s something I’ll always regret.”

“What!”

“No. No. God, no. I love your Aunt Honor with all of my heart. I just wished I hadn’t hurt her first. I wish like hell I had figured out to propose
before
she got on that plane, and I would have never had to knock on her door and see her in tears.

“But that day
Dallas was standing right there in the hallway—I know he remembers. It’s my one true regret in life, and I’ve tried every day since then to keep her from ever hurting like that again. And I’d done a pretty good job until a few days ago, when you were…well. Anyway. Every single one of us wishes it would have been us there that night—instead of you. God Alex, what I wouldn’t give to take that pain away. But as stupid as Dallas was, he really thought he was doing the right thing. He assumed something, and you know what they say about when you assume?”

With a soft snort, she chimed in, with tears in her eyes and repeated the old saying with her uncle.

“That’s right. And well, I can see his train of thought with the whole “family” thing, but the truth is, as close as we all are, what he feels for you is perfectly fine. Better than fine, because he ain’t gonna do better than the best, girl!”

“Uncle Eli”—she sniffed, then grinned knowing he was trying to cheer her up—“you can’t pull off gangster.”

“Whatch you talkin’ ‘bout?” His bad—really bad, impersonation made her chuckle despite the tears that had started running down her face. “Ah honey, come here.”

Alex melted against him as he tucked her under his arm. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through, and I won’t belittle you by acting like I do. But we’re going to get you through this. All of us—together. Don’t you worry. Day by day, you’ve got all of us behind you. The same ‘family’ Dallas was so afraid of tearing apart. It can’t be done. We’re stronger than that. We’re all a part of James and Karen’s legacy. Blood or not, we’re all family. And we’ve got you, baby doll. I promise.”

The dam broke and with the first racking sob, she clenched her eyes tight, but felt him move the photo album so he could wrap his other arm around her. She wasn’t even trying to sleep, and yet that night came screaming back into her vision. Each blow she relived, the terror of losing her innocence to a monster was as real once again as it was that night. Alex shook from head-to-toe, not able to control the pain in front of Eli. The tighter he held her, the faster the tears fell, for what felt like forever.

He did nothing to stop her, didn’t try to back away. Instead, he rocked her while whispering soothing hushes.

“Dad? What’s wrong?”

His voice was distant, but she knew she was being tugged away from the security Eli offered. Opening her eyes was a struggle because they were so swollen, and her head was pounding. Blinking,
Dallas came into focus. He was there—already.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Bone tired was what he was forty-eight hours prior. Now, Dallas was simply a step above the walking dead and sliding closer to that point with every passing minute. The cab stopped at his front door, and he noticed all the lights were still on in his apartment, which seemed crazy since it was well after one in the morning. Shoving a wad of bills at the driver, he let himself out and trudged up the short sidewalk.

Two pizza boxes sat un-opened on his kitchen counter. Beside them were unused paper plates—it was the empty glasses that sent him on high alert. He could damn near stretch his arms out, turn in a circle and touch all the walls in his Cracker Jack box of a home. But he didn’t need much. This place was temporary. He knew his heart was on the east coast, so he only kept enough to get by.

The loveseat was empty, the television was off, and two suitcases lay open on the living room floor filled with a few magazines, a throw blanket Karen had given him years before, and what little he had for kitchen supplies. Stepping toward the bedroom he heard his dad whispering.

Walking through the doorway and seeing Alex and his father on the floor, her in his arms as he leaned against the bed, broke
Dallas’s heart. Falling to her side, he gently pulled her into his own lap. She startled, and for a split-second, the fight in her ignited until he spoke her name.

“Alex? What happened, honey?”

The bruises were starting to turn even uglier than they had been, and she could barely open her eyes they were so puffy from what had to have been hours of crying. When she became coherent enough to realize he had her close to his chest, she gasped almost in relief, yet another wave of tears came pouring down her cheeks.

“Dad? Did something happen…what’s going on?”

“It’s going to be like this for a while, son. There’s nothing that can make it go away. But with time, it’ll get easier. Just hold her. That’s all you can do—just hold her.”

Glancing around at his surroundings, he saw she’d stalled in packing when she’d found his photo albums, markedly, the one of the two of them. He knew it would take more than just words to prove to her he’d loved her forever. More importantly, that he wanted her on a deeper level…and had for a long while. That damn text she’d received all those years ago had proven it to him.

No one had really spoken of his aunt’s past until the attack on Alex. In the short time since, he’d learned in great detail of her hell, and the sordid horror that left a faint line across her neck. Carter, Jesse, and his father had pulled him aside, explained the ways in which he could help Alex. They had pointed out signs to watch for, and gave him a broad idea of what to expect.

He still hadn’t gotten it.

Not until he’d witnessed her desperate attachment early this morning, or the swollen eyes and unending tears he kept trying to dry now.

She settled into his chest without words. His dad stood, and with a hand on
Dallas’s shoulder, he saw the saddened tug at the corner of his mouth before he turned and walked out of the room. Running his palm down her soft hair, he racked his brain for something heartfelt to say. Wanting to stay sincere, but also wondering if maybe she needed their jovial relationship, the joking and teasing she’d always kept him relaxed with.

Eli came back with the pizza boxes, plates, and cups, all with a two-liter of pop tucked under his arm. “If you want, put what you want on plates, I’ll go warm it up.”

Slowly Alex’s head rose from his chest, sounding so deflated as she spoke. “Oh, Uncle Eli. You have to be starving. I’m so sorry.”

Winking at her, and with an exaggerated level of happiness in his voice he answered. “Sugar, you know you never have to apologize to me. I just want to see you pig out.”

Dallas reached up, helping his dad place everything on the floor for their makeshift, middle-of-the-night picnic. Even though he would have loved to crawl in bed, his stomach growled as soon as the first box was opened. He snickered. “You and your crazy-ass pizza, Lex.”

She only stared at the plate in his hand, her eyes widening as he placed the second piece on it. He couldn’t help it, he knew her goofy habit. Begrudgingly she accepted the plate and the Solo cup of Mr. Pibb. Alex picked a black olive off the first piece and tentatively ate it before sipping her pop.
Dallas had wolfed down almost a full slice while she sat still toying with a pepperoni from her second piece. Only one bite was missing from the entire combination on her plate—that one stupid olive.

“I know it’s hard to eat when nothing sounds good hon, but I got your favorite.”

“You didn’t have to. I’m sorry. I’m just not hungry.”

Dallas
saw her swallow hard, the shame making it even harder to pick up the pizza. He hated that she was so withdrawn, hated the frown lines that deepened with her guilt and sadness.

“I can warm it up? Make it ooey-gooey again? It’s the ‘Alex Special’. Thick crust, light sauce, extra cheese, half black olives and half pepperoni. Just like you like it, silly girl.” A hint of a smile appeared with his dad’s playfulness.

With a deep breath, Alex picked up the slice of pepperoni. After holding it to her lips for several seconds, she finally opened her mouth. Once she’d swallowed that bite, she proceeded just like she’d done for so many years Dallas had lost count. Alex took a bite, albeit tiny, but a bite nonetheless of the slice with the black olives. It was at least the start to her weird method to eating pizza that they had all teased her over for two decades. Now if she would just keep alternating bites…even just a few, Dallas would be able to breathe a little easier.

~~~

She was scaring the hell out of him. And judging from the comments
Dallas had heard for the last several days since he’d moved home, he wasn’t wrong to feel that way. He could tell she was trying her best, but they were losing her. Alex was slipping further and further into a deep depression.

The Sunday family dinner at his grandparent‘s was a ritual Dallas had missed terribly. Sitting in his designated spot next to Alex put him in a prime location to whisper encouraging words to her throughout the meal. It was not exactly a quiet meal by most people’s standards, but it was nowhere near the level of craziness it usually hit.
Dallas didn’t foresee any rolls being thrown across the room tonight as they had in the past. It was Alex. Her trauma was affecting them all, and though they were all doing their damnedest to keep the mood jovial and light, it was an easy façade to crack.

“So, Mike, have you gotten any new information today?”
Dallas glanced between James and Mike as his stomach knotted in suspense.

Even though
Dallas would have preferred to keep all the disgusting and scary details from Alex, he also understood she needed to know for her own safety. She still tensed every time the subject was brought up.

Levi nudged him. They’d made a pact, going against the instructions the older men all voiced. Dallas and Levi were waiting for the prick to make a wrong move, each agreeing Derek Porter would never be able to hurt Alex again. Even if beating him to within an inch of his life was considered taking the law into their own hands, and even though Mike had somehow been able to pick up on their cryptic conversations and warned them against it.

  Turning back to Alex, her plate was gone—and so was she. It was as if she’d been waiting to slip away unnoticed. Following her to the dishwasher, he peered over her shoulder just in time to catch her scrape an entire plate full of food—not that there had been much on it to begin with—into the sink.

Laying his hand on her shoulder, she jumped with a scream. The plate still in her hand, crashed to the wood floor below and broke instantly.

Dropping to her knees in tears, she was crying over and over again. “I’m sorry, Grandma. I’m so sorry.”

Her hands were shaking as he pulled her close. “Shh, honey. I’ll get it. You’re going to get cut.”

Karen was already kneeling beside them, picking up the pieces. “Alex, it’s just a plate, sweetie. It’s no big deal. Everything is just fine.”

“But—”

“No, I won’t have you worrying about something so insignificant. Please promise me, honey?”

Her eyes were still swimming in tears, but she nodded in his hold. Surprising him though, she crawled out of his arms and pulled herself up to stand with the help of the counter.

“I need—I just…I need some fresh air. I’m sorry.”

Alex practically ran back through the wide open kitchen to the French doors on the other side of the long dining table, the glass door not closing all the way behind her after she’d escaped. All eyes were on him now.  She knew better than to be out wandering the property by herself.

“Damn it”. He said under his breath. “Watch her. Make sure she doesn’t walk off too far. I need to grab something from my truck.”

Karen laid her palm against his cheek with a gentle smile. “It will all be okay, I promise.”

“I don’t know, Grandma. I don’t know how to help her.”

“None of us do, honey. Just don’t turn your back on her. That’s all you can do. Take it one day-at-a-time, and never let go,” she said, taking his hand as
Dallas helped her up off the kitchen floor.

Hugging the woman that had changed his world,
Dallas promised. “I won’t. I love her too much to ever let her down. Not again.”

Shutting the door to his truck, he walked around the house to the back patio, avoiding the questions inside the house.
Making his way down the slate steps that had been laid into the earth years before, the soft grass that grew around them quieted his movements. He knew her too well, plus it was a family habit.

The track—the place they all seemed to drift toward when they were lost, seeking the solitude and peace it offered as night was falling.

The wood fence that surrounded the enormous Noland property, matched the same white wood that contained the track. It was the same fence Alex was now standing at, one foot resting on the bottom rung as she stared out into the distance.

Dallas
whispered to her so as to not scare her twice in less than ten minutes, “Alex?” Her shoulders rose with the deep breath she pulled in, but she didn’t turn around to face him. “Honey, I’ve got something for you.” Slowly she moved, and when she did, her brow was furrowed as she looked down at his hand. Unfolding his fingers, Dallas revealed the beloved treasure.

“My iPod? Why do you have that?”

Instead of letting her take it from him, he brushed her hair behind her ear, and proceeded to tuck only one ear-bud in, then pushed the top button and the black screen came to life. “You left it in my truck.”

The music she kept on it was an astounding collection, and like some women do with makeup, she never left home without it. That was before though. A lot had changed since then, including the one thing he knew she loved as much as riding, and that was music. Of course, Levi had filled him in on just how deep that love ran, but again, that was before. Now, Alex almost appeared pained to even turn on the music.
Dallas knew why.

It had nothing to do with the artists, the songs, the lyrics—it was what they didn’t allow her to do, and that was—
listen
. Without her even telling him, Dallas had picked up on that quickly. Her need to hear things from all sides of her was compromised, even with just one ear-bud in, let alone both. When he had found it in his truck, he had grinned. Turning it on though was shocking. The same song looped over and over. The lyrics caught him off-guard and stole the air from his lungs. So much so he listened to it until each verse, each word, was ingrained into his memory. With his newfound understanding of her hobby, it was the words that she felt, but hadn’t spoken, or couldn’t. He inserted the second ear-bud in his own ear.

“You know what song was playing, Lex?” She remained quiet, but a defeated breath gave her away. “Why was it on repeat?”

Dallas didn’t expect an answer, and didn’t get one. Instead he stood behind her, placing the iPod on the fence. He bracketed her between his arms, not holding her in place, but keeping her safe. He pushed play, and the quiet melody started to drift through the headphones. With her unable to move, she started to relax. By the end of the song, her head was laying against his chest. He let it play through two more times before he paused the music, and its message. He needed to hear her confirm his suspicions. Dallas wanted to hear her say she thought of him when those lyrics filled her heart.

With her arms resting on the top rung of the fence, she leaned forward, laying her head on top of her hands. The messy bun she’d thrown her hair into left the soft skin of her neck exposed. Though he’d kissed her a million times over the course of their lives together, none had been sexual. But in the moonlight, he couldn’t stop the pull. Her scent drifted around him, and the need to offer her comfort, as well as seek solace in her arms, was strong. Nothing more than just holding each other, but he needed her as much as she needed him.

Nuzzling against her, he pressed his lips into her.

“
Dallas, no. I’m…”

He expected her to say ‘not ready’, and to be honest he had no idea what had gotten into him. Suddenly he’d just been drawn to her, he wanted to heal her, wanted to console her in any possible way—as well as himself. But what she said next was as painful as a knife jabbed straight into his heart.