Alex's Destiny (Racing To Love) (13 page)

She was still for a moment, blinking as if she was trying to recognize him. “You’re supposed to be gone.”

Her voice was so distant and flat it chilled him. There wasn’t any lift to her tone, just a zombie-like state. He took it for what he assumed was the truth. She was days past exhausted. Scooting closer to her on his knees, he bumped the notebook. Feigning a lightness he was afraid he’d never feel again, he lowered his voice. “Guess what. I brought you something, baby. Look.”

Reaching down, he picked up the treasure and held it out to her. Like watching a slow motion film, her face went from puzzled, to shock, to tortured. Tears welled up, turning her ice blue eyes to turquoise. “What’s wrong, Alex? I’m sorry, I…I thought you’d be glad to have this back.”

As he started to pull it away she tentatively reached out, her fingers grazing the leather as if it would burn her to take it. One drop splattered on the cover, turning it dark, then another. He quickly wiped them off, then wiped her face. It was then, in her haunted eyes, he could see her re-living that night. Levi had said she had it out on her desk, she must have been working on something when the bastard took her by surprise. Suddenly she reached out, desperately clawing her way as close as possible to him as the racking sobs overtook her. With the momentum, Dallas had nowhere to go but backward, with her in his arms. She hadn’t paid any attention to her actions, but without meaning to he noticed there was nothing under her robe. Pulling her close to his chest as she curled into a ball, he tucked the soft blue fabric tightly around her, cuddling her on his lap. Whispering soothing hushes, he rubbed her arm, back and leg with his free hand and fought with himself. Half wanting her parents to come in and tell him what to do—half knowing it was his job now to figure it out.

Alex knew she was a mess, both inside and out. But she felt something in his arms she hadn’t felt in what seemed like an eternity. In reality it was just since
that
night. Everyone had been in her room and tried to console her, her parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, hell even her Aunt Taryn and Uncle Mike had flown in…but none of them were Dallas. She needed him more than her next breath, and it wasn’t right. She knew he had a girlfriend. In that moment, they were back in their own world again, back where she was safe, and she was desperate to not let go.

“Shh, I’ve got you, Lex. I’m not going anywhere. It’ll all be okay. Shh.”

His words did nothing to slow the tears. They only started to fall for a different reason—because she couldn’t believe his words. She knew the truth. “As a matter-of-fact, you’re…late,” she choked out in between the breaths of aftershocks. “You…you missed your…plane.”

“No, hon. I didn’t. I told you, I’m not going anywhere.” It pained her to lose the connection, but she gradually let him pull her away to arm’s length. “I’m here—to stay.”

Through the tears, she studied his face, the lines creasing his forehead, the way his brow was knitted tight, the pain in his gray eyes. “But,”—she lowered her gaze, afraid of the answer she’d see in the face she knew too well—“Heather?”

“God, I’m so sorry.” He said pulling her back into his chest, squeezing the air from her lungs, but she didn’t care. With a strength she hadn’t felt in days, she held onto him. “Oh, Lex. We’ve got so much to talk about, so much to work out…but, baby,”—he pulled her back once again—“it’s always been you. God, I’m…I was so stupid, I never meant to hurt you. I tried to ignore it, I was afraid, and I hurt you. She was just a friend, another rider on the team…it was his sister. I’ve known her for several years. She’s the only one who knew how I felt about you. I was scared it would upset the family. I—I am so incredibly sorry.”

His words circled in her head, but between exhaustion and lack of food, she couldn’t understand or concentrate, nothing seemed coherent. And as much as he apologized, he still didn’t explain why he wasn’t headed back across the country to his team, the track, and the race that was getting closer, hour-by-hour.

Gradually the tears slowed and heavy waves threatened to pull her under, but Alex knew what awaited her in the dark—so she forced her eyes to stay open, no matter how hard it was.

“Lex…can we get you dressed?”

“But—”

“One step at a time, I promise. I’d like to take you to eat somewhere special, do you trust me?”

As much as the terror was starting to grip her tighter around the neck, she did trust him. He slipped her off his lap then pulled her up to stand. He sat her on her chair, and she watched as he pulled a tank top and a pair of socks from her dresser. Then he opened the top drawer, gathering a pair of pale pink lace underwear almost like he’d done it countless times before. He disappeared into her walk-in closet, coming back with a pair of khaki shorts, a black t-shirt, and her favorite pair of running shoes.

“I’ll step outside in the hall, unless…you want help?” Looking over the items he’d laid out on her bed, she swallowed hard, then shook her head. “Okay, I’ll be right outside, take as long as you need.”

It took more than a handful of steeling breaths, and she’d stopped twice, but eventually Alex had clothes on, a state which almost seemed foreign. She understood now why he grabbed a tank-top instead of a bra. It wasn’t like she needed one to begin with, but she was grateful to be more comfortable. With legs that felt like lead, she struggled to get to the door, but his face brightened as soon as he saw her. She focused on that, on his hand as he held hers tightly the entire way down the stairs, and then released the breath she was holding when he pulled her close once they were inside the kitchen.

“Alex, sweetheart. How are you?” Her mother asked, rushing to her side.

She could see the worry in her face, and in her father’s as well. After all, it’d been days since she’d been brave enough to leave the sanctity of her four walls upstairs. In all her life, she’d never lied to her parents, so she didn’t answer her mother’s question.

From the opposite side of the island, the corner of her Uncle Mike’s mouth tipped as he spoke on the phone. She was getting used to the forced smiles, but then he turned and walked out of ear-shot.

“I talked her into going out to eat with me.”
Dallas said softly, bringing her attention back, she used his strength to keep her upright.

Without letting her mother’s question roll off her tongue,
Dallas ushered her toward the patio door, into the warm sunshine. After he placed her in a chair at the table, he laid a lingering kiss on the top of her head. “I’ll be right back, let me see if your mom has any of your favorites that I can get for you to eat.”

“But?”

“I told you, I was going to take you out somewhere special—somewhere I knew you’d feel safe.” He winked. “Baby steps, remember?” He bent down until he was face-to-face with her, his warm breath floated over her sore cheek, right before he brushed the hair from her eyes. “I’m going to take care of you, right now, more than anything, I just need to see you eat, even just a little something.”

“But…what about the race?”

His thumb caressed her jaw, “I told you, I’m staying.”

“You mean…you—you quit?”

“Yeah, sugar. I’m here for good, no more leaving, I promise.”

“
Dallas?” She couldn’t even get the statement out as her stomach rolled, the relief trying to win out over the guilt.

“No, it was my decision, and it’s done. Dad’s working it out as we speak.”

“But your career, your dream—”

“Is you.”

He left her staring at his back as he walked into the kitchen. It was as if she’d gone to sleep and woken a decade later, unaware of anything that had gone on around her. Peeking through the glass of the French doors, her mother was gathering items from the pantry and refrigerator, buzzing about as if she was afraid to take too long for fear Alex wouldn’t eat if she got the meal too late. Her dad patted Dallas’s back with barely more than a hint of a smile on both of their faces. She tilted her head, trying to read the situation, because she’d lost so much time. Her body just felt so drugged and unable to put his sentences together. The look of relief on her mother’s face as she stared at her, said what words couldn’t. She’d felt like she was drifting off into the darkness, waiting to fall off the cliff with no one to save her, and apparently her parents had feared the same.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

He deliberately sat her in a chair facing the house so he could watch the area Mike had pointed out. As much as he would have liked to keep her inside, she was an outdoorsy girl and the sun would do wonders for her.

However,
Dallas could count on one hand the number of bites Alex put in her mouth. Baby-sized bites at that. She’d never been a big girl to begin with, petite like her mother and athletic, often burning off anything she did swallow. When he’d had her in his arms, he’d been able to feel the bones in her back, more so than he normally could when he’d hugged her. And the tiny khaki shorts were hanging off her. Even her face appeared slimmer, and not in a good way, the weight loss completely due to stress and trauma. It’d been just a few days, yet he couldn’t imagine how much more her body could stand before it started to turn on her. She was wasting away before his very eyes.

At least he could be here from now on, and he would stick by her side. Hell, he’d force feed her if he had to, or at the very least, drive to all her favorite restaurants to guarantee he had a fighting chance she’d put a bite in her mouth. Swallowing his food, he chased it with a drink of tea at the same time he felt the phone in his pocket vibrate. A sickened feeling came over him.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Son. You at Alex’s?”

“Yeah, she’s right here. We’re eating lunch.” He winked at her.

“I know that faked tone, she’s still not eating a damn thing, is she?”

“Nope,” he answered, smiling at her to keep her clueless.

“She’s scaring the hell out of all of us.  And Carter just called. That’s fucking insane how close that animal has been to her.”

“No doubt, that’s the truth.”

“Is she listening?”

“Yeah. Got her out in the sun, though.”

“Well, that’s a step in the right direction. This makes me sick to have to tell you this. Especially now, since you’re the only one who’s been able to reach her, but you’ve got to get to the airport. They need you to race today then they’ll release you from your contract.”

“What the fuck? Son of a bitch.” The words were a gut reaction and slipped from his mouth, Dallas fisted his hand underneath the table, trying the best he could to hide his anger from Alex.

“I know. I did what I could, and they really did try, Dallas, but they only had one option to ride in your place and—”

“Damn it, and Waterman got hurt, didn’t he?”

“In practice a few minutes ago. I just got the call. They’re taking him by ambulance to the hospital. He was knocked unconscious for more than ten minutes, so even if he’d been able to get up with no broken bones—”

“The med crew wouldn’t have let him back on the bike. Yeah, yeah. I know the song. Damn it all to hell. Did you already book me a flight then?” He said, chancing a pained look at Alex. She was staring at him, devastated, her eyes quickly welling with tears.

“Yeah. I’m sorry, son. The only flight that will get you to
Utah in time, leaves in about two and a half hours. I’ve got your boarding pass printed out, all you’ll need to do is get to the gate on time. But you’ve got to leave in no more than an hour, an hour and fifteen minutes tops. I was going to go ahead and go with you, and then first thing in the morning we can go pack up your place and head back on the noon flight. We’ll land here tomorrow in time for Sunday dinner at Grandma and Grandpa’s. Is that okay?”

“Not as good as
not
leaving, but I appreciate everything you’ve done today, Dad. I’ll be there in a bit.”

“Give her a hug and kiss for me.”

“Will do.”

Slipping the phone back in his pocket, he didn’t need to explain what was going on to her, Alex’s tears told him she knew. “I’m sorry, Lex. I promise, this is the last time. God that sounds shitty coming out of my mouth.” He grabbed her hands and held them to his lips. “I don’t want to go—I don’t.”

Letting go with one hand, he yanked at his pocket, pulling his cell back out. “Dad, get me another ticket, please.” Shifting to hold the phone between his ear and shoulder, he picked up her napkin to dry her tears. “I’m taking her with me.”

Alex jerked her attention to
Dallas’s face.

“I don’t know if it’s too much or not, but I can’t leave her—not like this. If we can just get her through the airport, you two can go to the apartment. She doesn’t need to be around anymore people than necessary. I don’t want her at the race…that’s too much.”

He placed a quiet kiss on his thumb as he spoke to his dad, then pressed it to her lips. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she saw not only the smile tugging at his face, but the struggle it was to make it appear real.  He was trying so hard to do the right thing—even when none of them knew what that was. He wanted to say it would be good to get her out of the area, but Alex was in no shape to hear of her attacker’s various stakeout locations.

“Okay, thanks, Dad. I’m going to go talk to Aunt Mol, then get Lex packed, and we’ll be right there. K…bye.”

He laid the cell on the patio table and ran his finger under her eye to catch another tear. Careful of the bruises, he leaned in and kissed her cheek. Softly nuzzling his face against hers, he whispered, “I don’t want to force you, Alex, but I can’t leave you either. I didn’t know what else to do. You think you can handle this? Going with me? Dad and I will be right there, and like I told him, you guys will just go straight to my place. No other crowds once we get out of the airport—I promise.”

Her gaze fell away from his face to the landscape surrounding them. Somehow he’d gotten her not only out from behind her bedroom door, but out into the sunshine. The morning breeze ruffled through the tree tops, and a robin landed in her mother’s birdbath to play as the scent from her mother’s flowers encircled her.

Do you trust me?

His words…her answer? Yes.

She always had—a deep innate sense of trust that he’d earned without question. However, trust could only protect her from so much. It was the rest of the
what-ifs
that made her breathing begin to fluctuate. He’d yet to look away, and her delay in answering caused his encouraging smile to fall away.

“It’s okay…it’s probably smarter to stay here, with your parents—” Her eyes flew open and she gripped his forearm tight. “Alex? Honey…what is it?” Swallowing hard, she blinked multiple times. “Alex? Talk to me…what is it?”

“Don’t…leave me.”

She rushed out the last two words in a desperate attempt to stop him. She’d be all right, back upstairs, locked away in her private prison. She knew that, knew her parents weren’t about to leave her unattended. Alex knew Jack was due back in two days, arranging to take a couple of important tests early so he could come back home to be with her. She was surrounded by family, and an entire workforce that had gone caveman, vowing to never let another stranger within a mile of her. But her next breath wouldn’t come no matter how hard she tried. She was nearly panting, unable to pull in enough air to calm herself. It was
Dallas she needed.

“I’ve got to race. God help me—I don’t want to leave.” He ran his palm over her head and pulled her close, resting his lips against her forehead.

“Take me,” she whispered. Pulling away from her, Dallas stared. The gray eyes, the ones she knew so well were tormented. It was a giant risk. Car doors shutting made her jump, the phone ringing in an otherwise quiet room sent her out of her skin.

How the hell she was supposed to make it through not one, but two airports—and then home again?

“Are you sure? God, I jumped in with both feet again, I should have thought about it first. I should have talked to your parents and Mike, asked if it was a good idea.” Her eyes started pooling as she listened to him backpedaling. He stopped talking and pulled in a breath before he gathered her close. “Shh, I’ve got you. I promise. It’s okay.”

With her ear pressed against his chest, she was almost lulled to the dark place by his heartbeat. Several times her head rose and lowered with his breaths. He held her tight, continuing with his other hand to sift softly through her hair, a gesture she’d always loved. Except now, it made her relax—too much. She couldn’t afford to fall asleep, she knew what lurked in her dreams. Forcing her eyes to remain open, she eased out of his arms.

“Let’s go get a few things packed, okay? You don’t need much.” She nodded. Glancing at her plate, he picked up the cookie her mother had added. Handing it to her, Dallas gathered the rest of their dishes. “Can you eat that for me?” He asked so sweet it sent a stabbing pain through her. The batch of frosted sugar cookies were her mother’s Christmas specialty. Her poor mother was resorting to desperate measures if she’d gone to all the trouble those cookies took to create. Her arm felt as if she’d been lifting weights non-stop, and the cookie was almost too heavy to make it to her mouth. Taking a small bite, she caught the tilt of her mother’s head, watching her from inside the house.

~~~

He hadn’t let her down. Dallas and Eli kept her sandwiched in between them for hours. Her anxiety levels were high enough to keep her eyes from closing though. They’d brought five empty suitcases with them. After a quick explanation at security, they were on their way.

Now she was standing in a shoebox-sized apartment fighting the heavy waves of exhaustion once again.

“Alex, here you go, sweetie.” Eli said, hoisting two suitcases onto Dallas’s full-sized bed. “Can you believe the size of this place? And rent for it is steep. You’d think you were in New York City or something.”

She attempted a smile.

“I’ll give you an hour.” He feigned a seriousness she’d seen many times throughout her childhood. “But then you and me girl, we got a date.”

He had always been the comical one, ready to lead the way with pranks, running neck-in-neck with her very own grandfather for the title of orneriest male in
Pennsylvania. She loved Eli with all her heart, and she understood where his own heart was coming from. That didn’t mean she wanted to step outside to the busy sidewalk, and she sure wasn’t ready to force more food down her throat.

He winked at her before turning to tackle the rest of the apartment.
Dallas had said multiple times that five suitcases were going to be overkill. She would never have believed it. This apartment was half the size of his last one. Even so, one thing was the same, there were pictures of her—everywhere.

It’d be a late night, even with the lack of packing to do.
Dallas had gotten off the plane in Utah while she and Eli continued on to California. After the race, he’d fly out and meet them at his apartment. At least she’d have an excuse to hide behind why she was still awake in the wee hours of the morning, thanks to the lack of flights available for him to take.

He had no dresser, only an unmade bed and a nightstand. Opening his closet had her staring in disbelief. She had teased him mercilessly about what a slob he was over the years. Somewhere along the way, something must have sunken in. His t-shirts were all hanging neatly together, then his jeans. Next, just a wild estimate, were no less than fifty jerseys. The matching riding pants were all folded and in uniform piles on the shelf above. He had three pairs of riding boots lined up in a row next to his ridiculous tennis shoe collection. The crazy man easily had more shoes than she did—and she was a
girl
. Removing the first hanger, she tilted her head as she studied the Thor logo and debated. They were going to have to pack the hangers somehow, she might as well leave the shirt on it and just fold it in half. That way, when he unpacked, it would be much simpler to put everything away. Several shirts later, she’d stirred enough of his scent up that it filled the small room. A familiar warmth fell over her, as if he was right there by her side. After removing a good chunk of his clothing, a small bookshelf was revealed.

She knew he wouldn’t mind, hell she was there to pack his crap. Sliding the first book out, the weight of it caused the album to fall open in her arms. Glancing up, she counted eight in all. Dragging them all to the floor with her, she began flipping through each one, pouring through the years of her life told in a thousand pictures. From as far back as she could remember, and even before, baby pictures he had to have gotten from her mother, school pictures, and pictures of the two of them together. Alex smiled in spite of herself, seeing pictures of their family playing a not-so-gentle game of flag football, and remembered the black eye her brother ended up with. There were Thanksgivings, Christmases, and proof of Dallas putting extra colored eggs in her basket as he helped her in the annual Easter egg hunt.

It was the navy blue album that rocked her soul. Filled with pictures of just the two of them, and more recently than childhood. The expressions in the eyes she saw in those pictures were different. Captured by the camera time and time again, there was a look in his eyes, sometimes pure bliss, laughter and happiness; other times it was darker, more possessive. Running her finger over one, they appeared as if they were a couple, his arms around her, his chin resting on her shoulder, but in the very next one—he’d placed a kiss on her bare neck.

She remembered that kiss as if it had only just happened. It was shortly after her twenty-second birthday and the first time she thought there was actually a chance he was beginning to see her as more than a teenage tag-along. They’d been to the movies, and he’d held her hand through the whole film, but even though he’d done that a hundred times, it felt different that night.