Alaskan Adventure (Destination: Desire) (11 page)

“She’s scared you’d be more of the same.”

“Yeah.” And that hurt. He hadn’t realized
how
much it stung when she’d assumed his brother’s financial management was actually donations to the Feed Gabe Fund until he couldn’t forget about it and the pain nagged at the back of his mind. That her assumptions hurt so much told him how serious his feelings for her were.

His dad cast him a sidelong glance. “So she doesn’t know how
much
you make with your freelance work?”

“We haven’t exchanged stock portfolios, no.” Frustration tightened his muscles, making his paddling less smooth, so his kayak rocked in the water. “Does it matter how much is in my bank account? I wouldn’t use someone I cared about like that, even if I was dead broke.”

“I know.” Vince’s chin bobbed in a nod. “But she’s been burned by someone she loves before. It’s not unreasonable for her to be wary. The question is, are you prepared to overcome her fears? Is this thing you have worth the work it would take to build real trust? Think about it. If it’s just sex, then have a good time. But I think you know it’s not just sex. I’ve seen you with other girls before. She’s different. You’re different with her.”

“I’ll think about it.” And that was all Gabe could say now. He needed to sort himself out, decide what he wanted with Anne, before he could talk to her about those wants.

“You do that.”

Vince and Gabe were at the rear of the group, and those at the front had already started clamoring back onboard the ship. Gabe would need to help the other guides stow the kayaks, but then he was free for the evening.

A half an hour later, he managed to charm the head chef into letting him take two servings of dinner out of the dining room before they were officially open for evening service. The chef was a notorious stickler for the rules, but having been on the ship every summer for five years gave Gabe leeway most didn’t enjoy. He slipped away and headed for Anne’s room. After they returned from the kayak trip, they’d separated to shower in their cabins, and Gabe thought a little dinner in bed sounded like just the way to wrap up a fantastic day.

He balanced the tray on one hand and knocked with the other.

“Just a second!” Anne called.

“No problem, but your food is getting cold.”

The door whipped open. “Food? What food? Gimme!”

Her stomach rumbled loudly, and she danced around him making excited little noises as he walked in and set the tray down. He laughed, turned, and dragged her into his arms. He had to kiss her. He just had to. She hummed and melted against him. Their lips met, tongues twined, and the tart-sweet flavor of her filled his mouth. Desire wound through him, an unstoppable, undeniable heat that gripped him any time she was near.

He could rarely find a private moment do this when he was on duty, and the need to hold back somehow sharpened the experience when he did get his hands on her. She still challenged him and argued with him about every damn thing, but the context had changed. Now it wasn’t just to piss him off. Half the time, it was foreplay, revving them both up for what would come later—he’d spent every single night with her since the day they’d gone to the El Capitan Cave.

Releasing her reluctantly, he licked his lips, savoring the lingering taste of her. She patted his cheek, turned, and pulled the covers off the plates. Something painful tightened in his chest just watching her. He didn’t even want to think about what it was going to be like when she left and took all her sassiness and fire with her. The more he had of her—in and out of bed—the more he hated the very idea of losing her. But they’d gone into this without any intention of there being more than these few weeks. It was too late to renegotiate, wasn’t it?

His dad’s words echoed in his head, a reminder that everything was
different
with Anne, in the best possible way.

“Oh, you brought chocolate cake too.” She clasped her hands over her heart and sighed. “You really
do
love me.”

Love
. The word hit him with the subtle force of a sledgehammer and he stumbled back a step to sit down heavily on the bed. He knew she was joking. Her eyes sparkled merrily and a grin curved her lips. But for the first time in his life…maybe. The L-word didn’t feel wrong. That should freak him out, but it didn’t.

Dear God, he wasn’t just
in lust
or
in like
or whatever other vapid term he’d used before now. He was falling for her. And that was when he did panic, because it was one thing to be in love; it was another thing to be in love alone. He was pretty damn sure he was falling and there wasn’t a safety net to catch him. He usually liked a little danger to his adventures, but risking life and limb was entirely different than risking his heart.

He sucked in a steadying breath, and then startled when Anne waved a hand in front of his face.

“Earth to Gabriel.”

“Yeah.” He blinked, shaking himself. “Sorry.”

“Wrestling with some kind of coding in your head?” She smiled and handed him a loaded plate. “That’s the only other time I’ve seen you so zoned out of reality.”

“Something like that.” He was definitely wrestling with ideas in his head, just not involving code. Only he wasn’t sure what to do about any of it. How would he begin to even broach that kind of topic? Normally, he was pretty open with his thoughts, but this had the potential to blow up in his face.

“You okay?” She settled beside him on the bed, concern molding her features. “Is there anything I can do to help? Do I need to kick someone’s ass?”

“My heroine,” he teased, digging deep to find an easy tone. But that was one of the things he adored about her. She could be blunt and bitingly sarcastic, but she was also generous. From what he knew of her family and friends, she was incredibly loyal and self-sacrificing for those she loved.

Not that he wanted her to sacrifice for him, but he wouldn’t mind being one of the people she loved.

Her golden gaze was earnest. “All kidding aside. If something’s wrong, I’m a decent listener.”

It was tempting, but he needed to wrap his head around this before he could bring it up to her. She was likely to be skittish, especially since she so clearly didn’t approve of his seasonal jobs.

“I’ll let you know if I need an ear.” He dropped a kiss on her cheek and she wrinkled her nose with an abashed grin.

“So…are you ready to eat yet?”

He bumped her shoulder with his. “Are you threatening to steal my dinner?”

“Hell, yeah. I’m starving.” She widened her eyes. “Can’t you hear my stomach trying to claw its way out? It’s going to try and find sustenance on its own if I don’t feed it soon.”

Laughing, he snagged a napkin-wrapped set of utensils off the tray. “Okay, let’s eat.”

“Great.” She scooted back until she could lean against the headboard. Then she used the edge of her fork to cut through the cheesy lasagna. An absolutely orgasmic sound burst from her, and she gave a little shudder.

“Did you come?” He toed off his shoes, slid onto the mattress next to her, and crossed his ankles.

“It was close.” She chewed slowly. “You can remind me what the real thing is like later.”

“I intend to. Why do you think I’m here? The food was just a bribe to get me in the door.” A lie. He loved spending time with her whether sex was on the menu or not. With all the activities available on the cruise, he noticed that she’d switched a few she’d signed up for so that she joined all the ones he was guiding. She hadn’t said anything about it and neither had he, but it meant the majority of every day was spent together. They worked well as a team. Hell, with a little more experience under her belt, she could be an outdoor guide too.

Something squeezed deep within him at the thought. God, that would be amazing. Having her by his side all the time, working together for real. She’d never go for it in a million years. He already knew her well enough for that. It was a shame though. That might just be his definition of the perfect life. Anne, him and a lifetime of adventure. He had a feeling if she was willing to admit it, if she wasn’t so knee-jerk about always being the responsible one with a stable occupation, it might just be her definition of perfect too.

Too bad it would never happen.

Chapter Eight

“Ooh, look at that one!” Bridget yelped, pointing to a dolphin leaping out of the water.

They’d seen a couple of humpback whales at the beginning of their cruise, but this was an entire pod of dolphins at play. They seemed intent on putting on a good show for the humans, because they were jumping and doing somersaults at regular intervals. Passengers crowded along the rail, snapping pictures of the large aquatic mammals. Anne stood between Bridget and Gabe, with their families lined up on either side of them. Leaning forward, Anne got a fantastic shot of two dolphins flipping mid-air at the same time.

She grinned, knowing her sisters were going to love her email today. Especially Hazel, who was interested in oceanography. “This is awesome!”

“These are Pacific white-sided dolphins. They’re very social animals,” Gabe said. He was the only one without a camera, but then, he probably already had a million photos of the whales and porpoises that migrated through this area of Alaska in summer.

Still, through all the fun, Anne kept hearing a death knell in her head:
two days left, two days left, two days left.
That was all she had before it was time to pack up and leave.

If she could freeze time, she would. Just crystallize it until everything stayed exactly as it was. Okay, not
exactly
, because she did miss her friends and her sisters, but she did
not
miss her mother—who’d emailed twice and called again to bitch—and she didn’t particularly relish the start of the school year.

Her students were fun, but there was a lot of politics and bullshit that went along with being a public school teacher. She’d mentioned that to Gabe the other day, and he’d just given her an odd look. She hadn’t thought it was a huge revelation what with psychotic standardized testing, Common Core insanity and an obesity epidemic that hit even her middle school kids. Parents wanted her to fix their child’s weight problems with forty minutes of PE a day. Sadly, it took more than half-hearted exercise to eradicate an epidemic. Anne was a well-known taskmaster with her students, but her classes were as overcrowded as any other teacher’s. It was hard being the person with your finger plugging the hole in the dam, knowing the whole thing was likely to crumble and bury you in the flood.

So, yeah, she was girding her loins to go back to all of it. Work, the confrontation with her mom, the wedding where all her friends were blissful and she was still alone and lonely. In her wildest dreams, Gabe would be her wedding date and he could entertain himself and not be a prick about her having to help the bride and groom that day.
Ha
.
Yeah, right
. Three days from now, she’d be mired in her Californian reality and he’d be sailing away on another Alaskan cruise.

She’d just…never clicked with any man the way she’d clicked with him. It was like finding the pieces to a puzzle that fit together perfectly, no twisting or shoving or forcing or trying to cut off pointy bits to make it work. That was often how she felt with guys—as if she had to squish her personality down so they didn’t feel threatened, as if she needed to sand down her rough edges so she didn’t rub them the wrong way. That only lasted for a short while before it just wasn’t worth the effort anymore. She had to do that shit with her mom, but at least that was to keep her sisters sane. With men? Hell, the sex was never good enough to give herself a personality transplant.

With Gabe, she didn’t have to worry about that. First, because the sex was definitely good enough; and second, because he didn’t need her to repress anything. It was fucking bliss, in every possible sense of the phrase.

But she couldn’t keep him because he traveled constantly, they’d never really get to be together long-term, and he had the kind of insecure employment that scared her. She knew she needed to get over all the hang ups her mom had saddled her with, but that one would be hard. Dinah’s inability to secure lasting employment was what had put Anne in her current situation.

“Are you okay?” Gabe slipped his hand into hers, squeezing her fingers.

“Yeah, why?” She blinked back to the present.

“You stopped taking pictures, even when a dolphin jumped right next to the boat.” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles.

He didn’t often do public displays of affection, and her heart squeezed. Leaving him behind was going to suck so bad. Somewhere in the last three weeks she’d gone and fallen in love with him. It had crept up on her and she hadn’t noticed until it was way too late to protect her heart. Even if she’d seen it coming, she wasn’t sure she’d have done anything to stop it. Something this sweet didn’t come along very often, so it was worth the experience, even if she knew it was going to hurt in the end. Hurt was no stranger to her. The last three weeks of happiness? Yeah, that was the stranger, and she’d had a lot of fun getting to know the emotion. Now it was back to hurt.

She offered a shaky smile. “Just thinking about the cruise almost being over. I have a lot to do when I get home.”

His expression clouded, none of the familiar joviality on his face. “Right. The day after tomorrow.”

“Yep. We’re almost done.”

He flinched and said nothing.

She couldn’t read his mood, which was unusual. She tightened her fingers on his. “You okay?”

“If you’re done taking pictures, did you want to go back to your cabin for a little while?” He swept his thumb across the sensitive center of her palm, a dimpled smile curving his mouth.

Something wasn’t quite right, but she couldn’t pinpoint what. Then again, she was a little off-balance because…two days left. So maybe she was reading everything wrong. “Nobody needs you right now?”

“Not for almost an hour. We have a forest hike, remember? So if we hurry…”

“I’m game for a quickie, and I do remember the hike.” She tilted her head. “Your dad reviewed the itinerary at breakfast. Like he does every morning.”

He snorted. “Dad likes to stay on top of details.”

“Vince cracks me up. Both of your parents do.” And a tiny, treacherous part of her wished like hell she’d had a mom like Peggy. Maybe her life wouldn’t be so confused and wretched right now. She certainly wouldn’t have to kick Peggy out of the house.

“My parents like you too.” Gabe curled an arm around her waist, steering her away from the railing.

All the passengers were so focused on the dolphin show, she doubted anyone noticed their departure. If they did, who cared? Her hours with Gabe were ticking down—she wanted to relish every moment she had left, and she didn’t give a damn who knew it.

As soon as they rounded the corner and entered a hallway that would lead to her room, she grabbed his shirt and pushed him against the wall. Then she plastered herself to him, fitting her body to his familiar hard angles, especially the very interesting hardness that pressed into her belly. His arms cinched around her, and he kissed her with the same desperation that pounded through her veins. It was all lips and teeth and tongues, fighting to get closer, to press tighter.

She threaded her fingers through his hair, the rough silk of it tickling her palms. Her heart ached just thinking of never touching him again, never tasting him. He gripped her ass, shoving his thigh between hers. Then he rocked into her, the movement subtle, but it sent sparks shooting through her. The muscles of his leg flexed against her clit, and she whimpered. Her sex clenched, wetness flooding her pussy.

After ripping his mouth from hers, he groaned, “Room. Immediately. Or I take you right here and now.”

She laughed, nipping at his lower lip. “Well, I’m sure Bridget’s kids will get the best sex-ed class of their lives when they come around that corner.”

“Anne,” he groaned.

The sound of voices coming up the hall made them both freeze. She whispered, “If anyone sees you, you know they’ll ask you for help with something.”

The whole damn crew seemed to rely on Gabe’s experience and bombproof personality, and while it was nice to see how his peers respected and trusted him, it was a massive inconvenience at times like this.

“Here.” He set her away from him, grabbed her arm, hustled her about ten feet down the hall, and yanked her through a doorway into a small, dark space.

She blinked to make her eyes adjust to the gloom. “What’s this?”

“Storage closet.” He flipped the lock, and whoever had come up behind them walked right past without pausing.

From the deep timbre, she thought it might be the captain and first mate, but she wasn’t sure. And, frankly, she didn’t much care. Gabe’s hand was on her ass, his fingers stroking absently as he listened to their interrupters, and need shuddered through her with every stroke of his fingertips.

“Tell me you have a condom.” She didn’t wait for a response, just grabbed his belt and worked it open. His fly was next, and then she could slide her hand into his pants and grasp his hard cock. His breath hissed out when she rubbed over the bulbous head, smearing the moisture there.

“Condom.” He fumbled with his back pocket. “Yes, in my wallet. I learned my lesson that first time.”

“Such a good Boy Scout,” she purred. “Always prepared.”

Chuckling, he swatted her butt with his free hand. “No more stupid nicknames.”

In the dim light from under the door, she saw him yank out a foil packet and tear it open. After sliding her hand away from his dick, she let him sheath himself in latex. Anything to speed this up. And no, she absolutely felt no shame or hesitation about getting busy in a closet. Seconds counted at this point, and she was running out of them. She just wanted him, anyway, anywhere, anytime.

He spun her to face the wall. “Brace yourself.”

“Just hurry.” She set her palms against the smooth surface, cool on her hot flesh.

After reaching around her, he wrenched open her khakis and dipped into the front of her panties. Excitement spurted through her as he slipped into the thatch of hair at the juncture of her thighs. He stroked over her slick, sensitive flesh, pressing into her opening.

Quivers ran through her legs, a moan ripping out of her.
“Please,
Gabe.”

A rumble of conversation came through the door, and both Gabe and she went rigid. She held her breath, hoping she hadn’t made too much noise. She didn’t want to stop. Whoever was out there paused right outside the closet, still talking.

Thirty agonizing seconds later, they moved on and air whooshed out of Anne’s lungs. Gabe pulled his hand from her sex and hooked his fingers into the back of her pants, tugging her khakis and her underwear down until she was bared for him. His cock probed at her entrance, and she tilted her hips to give him better access. He pushed in, stretching her pussy to the limit. The angle was incredible, and she had to clench her teeth to keep from crying out. It felt so damn
good
.

He drew back, and shoved in again. And again. His skin slapped against hers, the sound obscenely loud in the small room. She hissed,
“Shh.”

The last thing she wanted was someone knocking on that door, wondering what was going on in here.

He stopped thrusting and instead ground himself into her. The movement nudged the head of his cock against her G-spot. The friction was amazing, but not…quite…enough. She reached back and gripped the outsides of his thighs, wishing he would go faster and harder, but knowing he couldn’t.

Another wave of voices reached them. Apparently, the dolphins had either finished the show or lost their appeal. Damn it. She whimpered, a ragged sob breaking free.

“Shh,” Gabe breathed in her ear.

“I’m trying,” she whispered back. Then she had to bite her lip to keep in a moan as he pressed hard into
just
the right spot inside her. Dear God, she was going to die before this was over. But what a way to go.

He continued grinding into her, slow and maddening, ignoring the crowd that trailed by the door. She closed her eyes, excitement ratcheting higher by the moment. The forbidden aspect of what they were doing somehow made her burn even hotter. Throwing her head back against his shoulder, she dug her nails into his legs.

“This is so damn hot.” His words were almost soundless, and he nipped at her earlobe.

She nodded. When he pressed his fingers into her sex again and stroked over her clit in time with the rolling of his hips.
Oh God.
Tingles broke over her skin, and she felt the first shivers of orgasm begin to build within her. The world faded to nothing and she didn’t know or care if anyone else came by. Her focus turned inward, on the ecstasy and fire that roared up to claim her. Gabe’s hands and hips moved faster and faster until she simply broke. Her mouth opened in a silent scream. Pleasure exploded inside her, and her sex fisted in rhythmic waves around his cock.

He drew back a bit, and then shoved into her. The impact of his pelvis against her ass made her gasp, sending another wave of climax roaring through her. He was deep inside her, and it was perfect. One, two, three swift thrusts and he shuddered against her as he came. A choked groan broke from him.

They stood there, shaking and gasping for breath. His arms wrapped around her, cradling her close. She loved him so much, and it hurt so much to lose something that felt this good. What they had would wither in the real world, she
knew
that, but it didn’t mean she had to like it. Tears burned the backs of her eyes, but she blinked fast to hold them at bay. She was not going to cry. She’d gone into this fully aware of how it would end, so she had no right to snivel now.

He kissed the back of her neck. “You are amazing.”

Swiping at her damp eyes, she needled him, “You were louder than I was, for the record.”

“We didn’t get caught,” he protested. Then he bit her nape. His softening cock slipped out of her, and she heard him rustling around to clean up a bit.

Righting her pants, she zipped up. “How long do we have until we have to be at the boats for the forest hike?”

He hummed in his throat. “If we run to our respective cabins, we could hose off quickly. Want to?”