“Are you okay?” She asked.
“I’m fine, I’m more worried about you. How could you, Joss?”
“Why is everyone making such a big deal out of this?
I said, I have it under control!” She spat, defensively.
“There is no controlling it, Joss. It
controls you, and before you know it you’re a junkie. We love you, and we’re just concerned about you.”
“I wish you guys
would just let me live a little. I’m not a little girl anymore and I’m so tired of being treated like a toddler. Besides, aren’t you acting a bit hypocritical? I mean didn’t you go out last night and get so plastered that you went home with Rowan? Isn’t that
pot
calling kettle black?”
“This isn’t about me, but yeah I
did and I regret it, trust me. It doesn’t matter, Piper’s gone, and she’s not coming back. I just wanted a night to forget.”
“I know. I’m sorry Blake. What happened anyway?”
“I don’t really know. She ran out after you and I guess she tried calling Cole. She got a call from the ER back home saying that he was in an extremely bad accident. They wouldn’t really let me know any information other than he was listed in critical condition and they needed to operate.”
“She was saying that he has a pill problem too. That’s what she was talking about when she came after me. She was saying how she was fed up with him leaving constantly and how much she cared about you. Why’d she leave?”
“You’re asking the wrong guy, Joss. You have no idea how tumultuous their relationship was. I knew going into it that we were going to have a lot of work on our hands, but I guess I didn’t see how deep rooted her feelings for him were really were. He’s a maniac, before we left he
completely
tore her house apart, furniture and all, then he apologizes and she forgives him. It’s a back and forth thing like nothing I’ve ever seen before. I really love her though so it sucks big time, but I’ll figure it out. I just want to make sure that you get help. Maybe there’s a program or something you can do while still going to school and don’t overdo it next semester, so you don’t have such a crazy workload that you feel the need for the pills. And stay the fuck away from Tom!”
CHAPTER
NINE
And I see all the lies
to come…
Piper
Sitting stoic in the hospital room waiting for any kind of movement I looked at Cole’s bruised and battered body suppressing a wail. He looked as broken as I felt. Black eyes, bruised ribs, a concussion and swelling to the spine. They had to perform surgery to his hip putting in some pins and rods to fix where it was shattered. Judging from the x-rays and MRI’s they weren’t sure if he was going to be able to walk again. Even if he was, it was going to require extensive physical therapy.
Forcing myself from picking up my phone
and rereading the texts from last night, I pulled out my sketchbook and started drawing. Before long I looked down at what I drew absentmindedly. The couple I cast in perfect light, Blake and me. Slamming the book shut I stuffed it back in my purse as the tears I was holding back came to the surface.
You’ve thrown us away. Goodbye
, my love.
That was the
last text that I got from Blake. If I wasn’t feeling so vulnerable I would have sent him back something sarcastic, but I didn’t have it in me. Aubrey called to find out what was going on after getting a concerned call this morning from Blake. She was understandably angry with me for not calling, and for hurting Blake, but understood because of the history I had with Cole. After the nurse came in and said there was no change I decided to go home and freshen up.
Hailing a cab in front of the hospital I gave him my address and sunk into the seat closing my eyes. When we came to a stop I reached into my bag to the small pouch that I kept my money in realizing there was a lot more money in here than I brought with me.
Blake.
I pulled out a fifty and tossed it into the front seat grabbing my bag and heading inside.
As soon as I closed the door behind me I started sobbing. Not only was the place completely cleaned
, but Blake had all new furniture delivered to replace what Cole destroyed. There was a small oak table with white chairs in the kitchen, a red sofa and ottoman in the living room, along with a bigger, better flat screen than the one I had mounted above the fireplace. A bouquet of flowers sat on the counter with a note attached.
Welcome home, babe! I’m looking forward to breaking in the new bed…
Love, Blake
A new sob ripped through my chest as I set the note down and went to look in the bedroom. Sure enough there was a new queen sized bed
, with a white quilt, a replica from the one at the cabin, covered in down pillows and high thread count sheets. There was a new espresso colored dresser and mirror on the far wall with an envelope sitting on top. Opening it up a gift card fell out.
Pipe, I had
Aubrey pick some stuff out for you, but in case you don’t like it return it and use the rest of the money to replace it with what you want. ~Blake
The gift card was for $2,5
00, which was way more than I would ever be able to spend on myself, especially on clothes. Opening the drawers they were filled with everything from underwear and socks to tank tops and jeans. I grabbed my necklace and ran my fingers over it feeling the need to check my vital signs.
I was still alive with
only my shadow to walk beside me.
Sitting on a silver tray was a slew of perfume bottles along with one lonely bottle of Chanel, the same kind that Blake wore. Taking the cap off I spritzed some on the bed and climbed in, closing my eyes dreaming of strong arms to hold me.
Waking up, I was so warm that I felt like I had a fever. It felt so real I didn’t want to move. I felt like I couldn’t live without the warmth that encapsulated me. Feeling warm, salty tears streaming down my face I begged for it to be real. I’ve waited too long to give this up. Feeling lips press against my temple, searing like fire before disappearing leaving a chill in its wake. I opened my eyes to emptiness.
Gasping for breath I walked into the bathroom splashing water on my face trying to
cool myself down. Opening the shower doors and stepping inside I wrapped my arms around myself to try and calm the wracking of my body. I shampooed my hair and washed quickly before drying off with a towel and dressing in a pair of sweats and a hoodie. I grabbed my phone and keys, heading back to the hospital.
My
days were blending together. Cole’s bruises were starting to fade, but he still wasn’t waking up. I remained vigil at his bedside, ignoring phone calls and life in general. Aubrey stopped by twice to bring me food and a change of clothes, but not even she could cheer me up.
“Well, someone’s acting like a cunt-a-
saurus Rex this morning.” She teased. “Come on you need to get out of here for a little while.”
“Do you think I made the right choice? Because it feels like everything’s falling apart.”
“It’s too early to tell. Maybe this will be his wake up call.” She patted my back reassuringly.
Watching him lay there I couldn’t help but get saddened abou
t the bright future that he had thrown away, and for what? He had no money, no car, no job, nothing. He had nothing left except me, which was part of the reason that I felt such an obligation to help him get his life back on track.
Alone
in my thoughts was probably the worst place to be right now because unfortunately, my heart was ripped right down the middle.
It had been a week since I talked to Blake. All I was left with was memories. His laugh, his dimples, his kisses, his passion were
now all things of the past. I missed him and fought the constant urge to call him. He always made everything seem more bearable, but I needed to turn my focus to Cole and getting him better. They were working on detoxing him while he was in a coma, trying to give him non-addictive pain medicine hoping that when he woke up he would regain some of his old self. They had me meeting with an addiction specialist so I could learn how to help him overcome his problem. I’ve never felt so overwhelmed and alone.
The stubble on his
jaw line was prickly as I ran my hand over it soothingly. The weight loss over the past seven days was evident on both of us. I ran my fingers across his face hoping to bring comfort to him in some way. They said he might be able to hear me, so I talked to him, too. I talked about things we did when we were younger, our adventures, getting our first place, all the happy times we’ve had over the last eight years. His eyelids started to flutter, so I kept talking.
After what felt like an eternity he turned to look at me, fighting to talk with the tube down his throat. I put my fingers to his lips telling him it was okay and that I was here. Pressing the call button for the nurses, I told them that he was awake.
After coming in with the doctor and examining him they determined that he did have some feeling to his lower extremities and would need to start physical therapy as soon as possible. The
y removed the tube from his throat, but said that he was still on eating restrictions and to take it easy. Reaching over he took my hand weakly in his.
“I can’t believe you’re here.” He croaked.
“I dreamed that you were here, and you are.”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” I lied, leaning in and kissing his forehead.
Blake
Pulling through another day post-Piper I was throwing all my frustration into the new album. At least one good thing was coming out of this disaster. Ever since, I got back to Ohio five days ago, I’ve pretty much been ignoring everyone, nursing the worse broken heart hangover, ever. She’s everywhere I look. Aubrey called Jake earlier and told him that Cole was awake. I didn’t want to, but I felt relief. I didn’t like the guy, and I certainly didn’t think that he deserved Piper, but if it’s what she wanted, and it obviously was, I’d never deny her.
Rowan was texting me more frequently checking in, making sure that I was okay. I wanted to ignore her
at first, but it was nice to feel loved, even if it was from my psychopath of an ex.
I spent the day working myself into the ground
, so I would hopefully be able to sleep tonight. Exhausted and sore, I climbed into bed and closed my eyes, hoping that tomorrow held more optimism.
Finally
after drifting asleep I heard ringing off in the distance. Reaching for my phone I put it to my ear.
“Yeah?” I mumbled
into the pillow.
I heard shallow breathing on the other end.
Pulling it from my ear and looking at the screen I saw it was Piper.
“Babe, is everything alright?” I heard sniffling. “Why are you crying?”
Sitting up and rubbing my eyes I waited for her to respond.
“No.” She sobbed.
“I was dreaming of you, and I just want it to be real again. Why can’t it be real, Blake?” Even crying it was good to hear her voice. I wanted to tell her that this was all her doing and that I’d take care of her. Hell, I’d even make sure that Cole was taken care of too, but she obviously wanted to do this on her own and wasn’t ready to let him go just yet. I was slowly learning to deal with that fact. I hated it, but it’s not like she gave me a choice.
“Are you home?”
“Yeah.” She whispered.
Throwing on a pair of jeans
I grabbed a sweatshirt and my keys heading downstairs. “I’ll be there in 10.”
I disconnected the call and climbed into the car heading across town. I don’t know whether I
’m a glutton for punishment or just a sucker, but as long as I got to hold her for the night I didn’t care either way.
I haven’t slept for shit since I got home
from Arizona since I was missing her. Pulling into her driveway I shut the car off and knocked on the door. It felt so strange being back at her place. She looked terrible. There was no vibrancy at all. Her eyes looked hollow and her face gaunt.
As soon as I was in the door she threw her arm
s around me pulling me to her. Not knowing what to do, I patted her back trying to soothe the river that started flowing.
Kicking my shoes off I picked her up and carried her to bed.
Just holding her was comforting and breaking me at the same time. We wouldn’t be trying out the bed like I originally planned when I bought it. Nor would we be having breakfast at the table in the morning. Stripping down to my boxers I climbed into bed pulling her close to me, so we were face to face.
I reached over to the night table and plugged in my iPod
turning the volume on low. I made a list of songs that I’ve been listening to non-stop since she left. The first song to come on was Saving Abel’s, ‘18 Days’, which was basically about rearranging your life without someone important. Next was Skillet’s, ‘Say Goodbye’. It was depressingly fitting.
Running my fingers through her hair I
rememorized every angle of her perfect face, committing it to memory.