Pain
was radiating from every surface in my body.
I felt guilty for not him
helping him through everything. The message from the other night flashed in my head like a neon sign.
“I don’t understand what this has to do with me. I have it under control. I only use when I need energy
, not every day. I sought Tom out, not the other way around. Why won’t everyone just leave me alone?” She cried.
“
That’s how it starts out, Joss. They’re only acting like this because they care about you, and it’s bigger than you think.” I said firmly, knowing exactly how big it actually was.
“Listen Piper, I like you and I can tell you’re
perfect for Blake, but I’m making my own decisions now. Why don’t you go back inside!” She spat.
“Wait.” I said pulling out my phone and dialing Cole hoping that he’d answer. She stood there looking impatient as it kept ringing and heading straight to voicemail. “He’s probably on a bender right now. This was my life when I was with him, all day, every fucking day! Is this what you want? Do you want Blake and your parents to be worried sick about you constantly worrying about if you’re going to wake up tomorrow? Do you!” I said getting angrier and angrier, not at her
but Cole, she just happened to be the closest one to me at the moment.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and instantly calmed down realizing that it was Blake.
Joss stood there frozen and my phone started vibrating in my hand. It was Cole, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk to him now. My phone kept buzzing and by the third time he called back I decided to answer and get it over with.
“Hello.” I answered
, annoyed.
“Hi, I’m looking for a Piper Nicholson.” The man on the other end said deadpan
, it wasn’t Cole. My heart started racing.
“This is her.” I said skeptically.
“I’m calling from Smithville General. We’ve just admitted a Cole Anders, and you’re listed as his next of kin.”
Blake’s arm was around me in an instant holding me upright. My heart was draining into the sea. At that moment everything changed. I felt the breath leave my lungs in a whoosh.
“Is he okay?” I chocked.
“We’re not sure yet
, ma’am. Are you able to get here?”
Hot tears streamed down my face as Blake took the phone from me. I couldn’t find my voice. Blake asked a couple questions before disconnecting the call.
“Piper, are you okay darling?” I heard Sandy speak, but her words weren’t registering.
When did she
even get out here?
Blake shook his head at her and picked me up bridal style carrying me
inside and up to his room. He placed me down gently on the bed grabbing the suitcase from the corner and packing up.
Everything felt like it was going in fast forward and slow motion at the same time.
Like the world stood still.
I had no idea that I would feel like this. Though things got
extremely terrible at the end, I still loved him, and the thought of a life without Cole in it was heartbreaking to me. I was irresolute and confused. The only thing that was for certain was that I needed to get home as soon as possible to be there for him.
“Blake, will you stop.” I cried.
“What do you need me to do, babe? Name it. I’ll do anything. Just don’t cry anymore. It’s killing me.”
“Take me to the airport.” I felt miles away from where I belonged.
I needed to go home.
“Let me just finish packing
, and we’ll go.” He said motioning to the luggage.
“I
want to go alone. You need to be here to help Joss. I’m really confused right now. Everything is just happening too fast, and I need to do this by myself.” There was no way I could string him along with me.
Hurt flashed across his face breaki
ng my heart even further. I knew I needed to face this on my own. I was starting to second-guess if Blake and I could really be something? Would I ever be able to love him like I loved Cole, or were we holding onto strings better left to fray? He said he loved me, and I was pretty sure that I loved him, but in my jumbled thoughts I couldn’t think of anything except going home to Cole.
“I’ll call a cab.”
I put on a brave face and pushed everything aside.
“I’ll take you. Let’s go.” He said
holding my bag in one hand and reaching for my hand with the other. I retracted knowing that touching him would falter my reserve.
I followed him down the hallway and said a quick goodbye to his parents with Blake promising to explain when he got back.
He told Joss to be there when he got back. Speeding the entire ride to the airport and parking in the drop off zone he walked inside without waiting for me to catch up with him. He went straight to the ticket counter using his charms on the girl working. Pulling a credit card from his wallet he handed it to her while she waited for the ticket to print. I stood off to the side letting him do his thing. When he was finished he handed me the ticket with a look in his eyes that will probably haunt me for as long as I live.
In that moment it was clear as day that I really loved him, as much as I loved Cole and I’ve never felt more vacillated in my life. I knew that by me leavin
g now it would be the end of us. I also had to face the consequences, since I was most likely the reason that Cole ended up in the hospital in the first place.
“I didn’t want it to come out like this. I wanted to wait for the perfect moment
to say it back, but since that looks like it won’t ever happen I might as well just get it off my chest. I love you, Blake. I’m so sorry it has to be like this. Maybe if, things were different we could be together, but it’s just too much right now.” I bit my cheek, holding back tears.
He leaned in and kissed me chastely on the lips before heading back out the door without another word.
I took the ticket and made my way through security and finding my gate before hugging my knees to my chest and losing it. I probably just lost the best thing that ever happened to me, to be with the one that used to be my everything. Was I making a mistake? It was too late to turn around now.
Cole needed me.
Blake
As soon as I got back in the car I punched the shit out of the steering wheel surprised that the airbag didn’t explode in my face. I just watched the girl that was my forever walk away from me. It was like déjà vu, except with Piper it was the real thing. She didn’t say anything when I told her that I loved her, and she chose now to tell me she felt the same way.
When I
walked out the door I don’t know what I was expecting, I guess I was hoping for something like the movies where she comes chasing after me. Maybe telling me that she loves me, and she wants the whole nine, the house, the kids, but mostly just me. Since that didn’t happen I sped out into traffic deciding I needed a bar more than I needed the comfort of home now. I pulled into Phobia, which was already bustling for a Thursday night. Walking straight up to the bar I saw a girl that I used to go to school with, Cassie Banks.
“Blake Potter, how are you dude? You don’t look so hot… What can I get you?”
“Can you pour me a drink to make me forget?”
“No, but I can pour you enough drinks to make you forget
, at least for tonight. You’ll need to hand over your keys first though.” She said putting her hand out.
I handed over the keys and my card so she could start me a tab.
Shot after shot I still couldn’t get her out of my head. I just kept thinking of our crazy nights, and how much I fucking loved her. Looking at my phone and realized that hours had gone already.
There was
a single text from her.
Made it safe. Thanks for everything.
Wow, that’s generic.
I was going to text her back
, but nothing good could come out of the sorry state that I was in right now. That’s when I saw her, the bleach blonde she-devil herself. She sauntered up to the bar as my vision kept seeing two of her. Wearing a short, leather skirt and a tight, red top that could hardly be considered anything other than lingerie. She was the tigress, and I was about to be lunch.
“Blake, baby. What are you doing here?”
“Roooooowan.” I slurred, burping at the end.
“Cassie, how much has he had to drink for fucks sake?”
“About a fifth of Hennessy and a couple shots of Patron. Oh, and a couple mixers, too.”
“Fuck. Alright, let’s get you out of here tough guy.”
She put my arm around her shoulders trying to keep me upright as we made it to the exit. I stumbled into her car, and she slammed the door shut behind me. She drove like a bat out of hell to her place a couple blocks away and helped me inside. I was drunk but somehow still feeling every ounce of pain. Since I never laid into her how much she hurt me I decided it was time she knew. If I was going to throw a pity party it was going to be worth it.
“I fucking loved you
, and you destroyed me. Then I fall in love with the one girl that can never love me back. Go fucking figure.”
She walked over to the China cabinet and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and two shot glasses. I was taking them faster than she was pouring them
, and before long the bottle was half gone. I was feeling a little more numb and horny. Fucking-a I was horny. Damn you Piper for leaving me high and dry.
“Did you know I think about you all the time?” I mumbled.
“You do?” She asked, cocking an eyebrow.
“Psyche!” I laughed so hard at the expression on her face that I fell right out of the fucking chair no doubt bruising my ass and possibly a couple ribs in the process.
Fuck, I’m drunk.
“Nice to see you’re still acting like an asshole, Blake.” She snickered.
“You know you love me anyway.” I said with a smirk.
“You’ve got me there
, but it’s not like you really give me much of a choice, do you?”
“Nope.” I popped on the P while unsuccessfully trying to get to my feet.
I gave up and propped my arms behind my head before passing out.
Throbbing, and more throbbing.
My head was going to explode
, there was no doubt about it. My mouth tasted like road kill, and my body felt like it was run over by a Mack truck, repeatedly. Every time I went to open my eyes I had to shut them because the room kept spinning. I can’t ever remember a time that I got that drunk.
Finally
, I managed to open my eyes taking in the familiar surroundings and realizing exactly where I was, in Rowan’s bed wearing just my boxers. I sprinted into the bathroom to throw up. Fuck, fuck, fuck! FUCK!!! I hated myself. Joss needed me, and I was acting like an irresponsible asshole because of Piper.
Dammit
,
was my only thought as I looked in the mirror, swishing some mouthwash around my mouth hoping to get the dreadful taste out of my mouth before heading into the kitchen in search of Alka-Seltzer, my pants and possibly a sledge hammer.
Walking into the little
, yellow kitchen I grabbed a glass running it under the tap and dropping in a tablet, watching as it fizzed before knocking it back in one swig. Rowan left a note on the counter with my keys. My keys?
Blake,
It was great seeing you again last night. Cassie brought your car here. Maybe we can meet up again before you go back. I’ve missed you. You know my #.
xx
.
Rowan
Searching the small apartment I scrounged up the rest of my clothes and put them on feeling like complete shit. I found my phone on the entertainment center. Swiping the unlock feature I checked to see if there was any update from Piper. There wasn’t. There were a slew of frantic missed calls and voicemails from my mom. Picking up the keys I headed out the door locking it behind me.
Pulling into the driveway I was thankful that Joss’ car was still in the driveway. Turning the doorknob I was met with a hand to the face and a hug.
“Blake Ryan Potter, don’t you ever do that to me again! I was worried sick about you all night. I got a call at four o’clock this morning from Rowan of all people telling me that you were fine.”
I hugged her back for a minute before going up to my room to shower.
Utterly disgusted with myself, I turned the water as hot as it would go and stepped inside. Too bad scorching water didn’t wash away guilt. Every time I closed my eyes I saw wisps of flame red hair and blue eyes. My heart was frantically beating out of my chest with a broken beat.
I felt like I was lost in
the twilight, no light, just darkness and despair. Looking down at my bicep I saw the tattoo that Piper gave me, making my heart clench again. I never understood why love had to hurt so much. It was such a cruel bastard, and I never seemed to be able to get it right. She loved me, I loved her, that should be it, but it wasn’t and now it was gone.
After drying off and drinking a pitcher of water
, I felt mildly better and decided to go talk to Joss. I was still in disbelief that she started taking pills. She was always the leader, not the follower, so for her to do something like this took me by surprise. Knocking on her door I turned the handle and walked in sitting on the bed next to her. Shaking her lightly she turned and looked up at me.