Adam's List (31 page)

He shakes his head, laughing whole heartedly. “God, I love you.”

I clamp my hand around his jaw, glaring into his steel blue eyes. “Just
promise me
you’re going to come out of this surgery, and you’ll be there for me. I mean it, no wussing out on me again. You can’t just give up. You have to fight for our future now.

Understand?”

“You were still raw from losing your first love, but you trusted me. And I let you down.

I’m so sorry, Jewels.” He kisses my nose and brushes his fingers against my cheek.

“Now that I know your little episode was just a ploy to get me home, I still can’t forget all those things you said about leaving you all alone. I realized that I could never do that to you. I’m ready to do whatever it takes to be with you for the rest of my life. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you from getting hurt again. I love you...more than you’ll ever know.”

“
That’s
what I wanted to hear.” I nod and kiss him deeply, making sure he has something to look forward to once he’s out of surgery. We’re well past second base when we’re interrupted by a startled nurse.

It feels like a lifetime that I sit with Adam’s parents and obnoxious brother in the lobby, waiting for updates. Luckily Erik is bright enough to understand that I’m not in the mood for small talk, and finally leaves me alone with my thoughts when I don’t really respond to his questions.

Finally the white-haired surgeon emerges to announce that the transplant went as well as they had hoped. I’m so relieved that I burst into tears and throw my arms around him.

Adam’s still groggy when I finally get to see him, but he’s full of kisses and slurred devotions of his love. “This is my girlfriend,” he tells the nurse with a dopy grin. “My Jewels. Isn’t she the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? I’m going to marry her one day.”

The middle aged nurse stops adjusting his IV to peer over at me, giggling. “You’ve got yourself a real keeper.”

A few hours later, I visit Cora. When I enter her room with a dozen red roses, she’s half propped up in the bed, drinking from a straw a woman holds for her.

“Can I come in?” When she nods, I place the roses on a table where two smaller bouquets already stand. “These are from me and Adam. Me being Jewels, by the way. I just wanted to stop by and see how you’re doing. And, well, thank you for saving Adam’s life. Sending a card didn’t seem adequate.”

“Finally, Jewels!” The older woman offers me her hand. “I’m Cora’s mom, Tammy.” It makes sense as she’s a graying, rounder version of her daughter with deep wrinkles set around her eyes.

I take her warm hand, nearly crumbling when I think of all this woman has been through with her children. “I’m so sorry about your son. Adam talks about him all the time. Sounds like he was a great guy.”

“He was a wonderful boy.” She smoothes the skin across Cora’s forehead. “Just like my Cora’s a wonderful girl, putting herself through this for her big brother’s friend.”

Cora smiles up at me, showing a beautiful row of straight, white teeth, but the smile stops at her lips. Her eyes are listless. “I had to do it, you know. I mean, we were in love when I first offered it to him, but just because we’re no longer together doesn’t mean I wanted to take it back. I don’t think it’s something you really
can
take back. Once you’ve offered to save someone’s life, it just seems like a douche-y thing to void the offer.”

“It was a really non-douche-y thing for you to do,” I agree.

“He’s
really
in love with you. He loved me, too, but not in the sappy way he’s completely head over heels for you.” Her eyes roll to the ceiling. “It’s almost embarrassing. You should teach the boy a little something about self-respect.”

I nod, feeling a smile ease across my lips. “Noted. No one likes a sap.”

“I just wanted you to know that. I mean, why I did it. I’m sure it’s hard to accept his ex will forever have a part of her body inside of him. If you really think about it, it’s even worse than having to deal with ex-wives and step-children. I mean, a part of me will
always
be around, no matter what he does or where he goes. There will be no getting rid of me.”

“Hadn’t really thought of it
that
in depth...but yeah, I see where you’re coming from.

The only thing worse would’ve been if he had needed an eye transplant. Then you would’ve been always
watching
me. That would’ve been awkward as hell.”

“Adam said you were pretty chill, I just wanted to test it out on my own. Make sure you’re not one of those blonde cheerleader types who’s all fake and clingy.”

I reach for a strand of my hair, twirling it between my fingers. “Considering I once
was
a cheerleader, I think I should
totally
be offended somewhere in that statement,” I answer in a mock bimbo tone.

Tammy ticks her tongue as she pulls at Cora’s sheets, tucking them in around her body like she’s a five-year-old. “If Adam heard you girls going on like this...I think it would warm his heart to hear you getting along so well.”

“Don’t get too comfortable with it,” Cora warns her mom. “I plan to harass them at their wedding, and teach their children horrible habits, maybe give them obnoxious toys that make really loud noises.”

“Us or the kids?” I ask, breaking out in a deep grin.

Cora returns my grin. “I do think we’re going to be friends,
eventually
. I need a little time for you to grow on me.”

I walk to her side and lean down to hug her in that only awkward way a hospital bed will allow. “Thanks. You know. For being non-douche-y.”

This time when Cora smiles back, her eyes twinkle. “I’d say anytime, but I think I’ll need my other kidney.”

While Adam recovers in the hospital, I drive the hour commute to Rochester from home, a couple nights staying curled in his hospital bed at his side when our favorite nurse lets us by with the violation of hospital rules, and his family isn’t around trying to mend their relationship. In the time I spend with his parents, I learn Adam’s incredibly handsome dad is kind, and has Adam’s good humor, but he’s soft spoken and easily manipulated by his eager to please wife. They treat me like I’m some kind of hero for saving their oldest son, and go out of their way to make sure I’m well fed and rested.

Hopefully their affection for me never wears off.

At Adam’s request, the only visitors allowed are his parents and brother. I can’t say I’m anything other than relieved when Erik takes off after only one day, although when he announces he’s heading back to New York, my jaw drops to the floor. Adam told me his brother just finished his freshman year of college. It never came up
where
he was going to college. I can’t believe Adam didn’t say anything while we were in the city. I don’t bring this to Adam’s attention, however, because it never seems like the right time.

Eight days later, the doctors clear Adam to go home. Adam’s cousin, Davis—the one who loaned us the pickup truck—offered his spare bedroom to us so Adam could make his regular follow up appointments for the next month. At first my parents weren’t totally thrilled with the plan that involved me living with two men, but I think they eventually accepted that Adam would need my help. I think they finally understand I’m going to do whatever I want at this stage of my life.

When we show up on the doorstep of Davis’s modest apartment, it comes as no surprise that he’s handsome like the other Murphy boys I’ve met. He’s much taller than Adam and his messy hair is a shade of sandy blond, but he has the same square jaw and a slightly darker shade of baby blues. From the moment I first lay eyes on his relaxed posture and grunge-inspired wardrobe, I know he’s bound to be just as laid back and friendly as Adam.

He reaches out to slap Adam’s hand in greeting. “What up, cuz? Looking pretty tough. One of these times they should just install a zipper for all these surgeries they keep putting you through.”

Adam lets out a small chuckle. “Don’t I know it. Thanks again for letting us crash here. Beats staying in a hotel for however long it takes.”

“Anything for my brother from another mother.” Davis’s eyes fall to me. “Jewels.

Finally
!” He flashes a row of perfectly straight white teeth. “I’ve been dying to meet the girl who finally talked some sense into my boneheaded cousin.”

“And I’ve been dying to meet the kind soul who loaned us his pickup.” I don’t know what else to say to him, because just like the rest of his family, Adam had very little to say about Davis.

“Hey. Getting to drive his sweet ass Challenger around for a few weeks?
Totally
worth it.” He takes our duffle bags from me and opens the door farther. “Make yourself at home. You guys are welcome to crash here as long as you want. It’s not the Hilton, but I managed to score a queen mattress from a buddy at work.”

It’s obvious the minute we step inside that Davis is an artist. The couch, television, and kitchen table are all covered with paint-splattered sheets. Murals in progress are everywhere, cans of spray paint lining the tile floor beneath them. The apartment feels smaller than it should because of the total chaos.

Davis returns from a room in the hallway without our bags and catches me taking the place in. He laughs. “Sorry about the mess. As you can see I’m a graphic designer. I just got back last night from a show in New York and haven’t had time to clean the place up.”

“New York, huh?” I turn to Adam and cross my arms. Adam shrugs back at me, oblivious to my interest in his cousin’s trip.

Davis begins to roll up a large mural. “After you two are settled in your room, I’ll cook up whatever Adam can eat. Until then, let me know if there’s anything else I can get you.”

“Thanks,” I say as Adam pulls me to the hallway. “It’s awesome of you to take us in like this, really.”

The first doorway leads to a small room with a mattress on the floor among more artistic supplies. Our bags sit in the corner. “At least you can paint pictures of me when you can’t sleep,” I tease, collapsing to the bed. “By the way, you forgot to mention your brother goes to school in New York. Seems you’re the only one in your family who hasn’t been there.”

Adam shuts the door behind him and slowly lays down at my side, careful not to jar his healing wounds. He hooks me with his arm, pulling me close. “I wasn’t going to waste our time out there trying to meet up with him. We don’t even get along, so it would’ve been pointless. Besides, he would’ve told my parents where I was hiding out.”

I roll my eyes and breathe out an exasperated sigh. “It would’ve saved me the trouble of tricking you into coming home.”

He runs a finger across my cheek, his expression solemn. “I get the feeling it’s going to take me a lifetime to make it up to you.”

“Yeah, pretty much.” I lean in to kiss him deeply, reminding myself not to take it too far. Then I lean away, grinning. “As soon as you’re properly healed, I know of a few ways you can make things right.”

He runs his fingers through a strand of my hair. “If you keep kissing me like that, I’m going to have to sleep on the couch until I’m cleared for physical activity.”

“We could go back to the no touching rule.” I lift my eyebrows.

“No way.” Adam brings me back up against him, planting another long, soulful kiss on my lips. When we part, my toes tingle in anticipation. “I’ll never make that mistake again. I don’t plan on letting another day pass without getting to touch you.”

I snuggle up against him, my hormones lit like a blazing torch. Soon I hear his light snores beneath me.

As Adam works on his continuing recovery, I put in some hours at one of my mom’s stores in Rochester to build on my depleted savings. Although the surgery leaves him incredibly weak, sometimes even requiring the use of a wheelchair when we go places like the mall or the grocery store, Adam’s doctors are upbeat that he won’t reject the new kidney. But there’s no guarantee. And I have to remind myself during our heated make out sessions to be gentle with him.

On August 4th we celebrate my twenty-first birthday with my parents at a swanky hibachi grill in downtown Rochester. They give me a card filled with more than enough money to make it through the rest of the summer. I’m relieved when they keep the conversation fairly light rather than asking questions on what Adam and I expect to do next. I’ve spent hours on the phone with my mom since staying in Rochester, and we agreed to take one day at a time. My dad only met Adam for a brief moment when his parents came to retrieve Adam from our house, but Dad seems impressed, and even shakes Adam’s hand with a genuine smile when it’s time to go.

Adam and I end the night on the backside of a grassy reserve in Davis’s pickup with champagne and chocolates for me, bottled water for Adam. It’s surreal to be in the back of the pickup again, bringing both good and bad memories of our road trip flooding back like the opening of a flood gate. He even breaks out the worn dinosaur blanket again, finally confessing it was something the nurses at the hospital gave him after he was first diagnosed.

I provide the tunes, of course. Nothing could be more perfect as we gaze up at the stars, jamming to Coldplay as they rock what is officially now known as “our” song.

“Just think,” I say, running my fingers over his healed tattoo as the song ends, “if you hadn’t listened to me, I’d probably be picking out tunes for your memorial service instead of getting to do this.”

Before he can yell at me for saying “I told you so” or being so morbid, I spring over him to press my lips to his, sucking on his bottom lip, then his neck, and letting my hands wander down to his shorts. We’ve both been eager to have sex for the first time since his surgeon finally gave the all clear.

He groans, holding onto my head while delivering kisses to my jaw. “Keep that up and it will be an extremely fast reunion.” He slips my tank top strap off to the side, giving his mouth free range at my collarbone.

I find my way inside his underwear and reach for his hardness. But I find something fuzzy and square instead. Dazed, I pull the object free.