Adam's Daughter (20 page)

Kellen kissed her mother's cheek, and dashed to the top of the stairs. She saw her father standing below, so tall and handsome in his tuxedo, and her heart beat faster in happiness. She held her head up the way she had been taught to in
dance class and walked slowly down the staircase.

Adam watched her, his smile growing wider. “You look so pretty, Lil’bit,” he said.

“Daddy, I told you not to call me that!” Kellen said, rolling her eyes.

“Oh, sorry. I guess you are getting too old for that.” He glanced up at Elizabeth, who stood at the top of the stairs. “We won’t be too late,” he said.

“I’ll wait up,” Elizabeth said. “I love you both.”

At the club, Kellen was so happy she barely ate. When the orchestra began to play, Adam led her onto the dance floor. She
tried hard to be graceful.

“You dance very well,” Adam said.

“That’s because you lead so divinely, sir,” Kellen said, mimicking the demeanor she had been taught in dance class.

The tone in her voice caught Adam off guard and for a moment she seemed to him much older. But then she giggled and the image evaporated. “I remember when you were little you stood on my feet when we danced,” he said. “Want to try?”

“Daddy!”

“Too old for that, too, huh?”

He looked down at her. He had always been aware that his daughter was pretty. Her face was lovely, almost cherubic, except for her cunning green eyes. She was, he knew proudly, going to be beautiful. There were moments when he saw the hints, moments like now when her resemblance to Elizabeth was startling.

He let his thoughts stay with Elizabeth for the moment. She hadn’t been herself lately. She had been mildly depressed and seemed to tire so easily. She had been this way for nearly two years now. Adam had forced her to see a doctor, who pronounced her healthy but slightly anemic, like many fashionable women who
watched their weight. He privately suggested to Adam that rich idle women like Elizabeth sometimes were simply bored or lonely.

Adam found the idea absurd. Elizabeth was involved in dozens of clubs and activities, and their social life was too busy, if anything. But there was something implicit in the doctor’s words that bothered him
, that perhaps Adam was neglecting her. She had always been so understanding about his work, never seeming to mind his late hours or frequent trips to the other newspapers. Just the same, Adam felt guilty.

He decided to give Elizabeth a surprise. He bought a home on the ocean just north of Carmel. It was a mode
rn architectural wonder of glass and wood, set on a cove amid wind-swept cypress trees. It was the antithesis of the mansion on Divisadero, a cozy retreat.

Elizabeth loved the beach house. She and Adam spent a week there alone, then they returned to the city because Adam had to go to Las Vegas to meet the owner of the paper there he was considering buying. When he left, Elizabeth was in good spirits. But within a month, her depression returned.

Finally, Adam decided he had figured out the cause. It was so simple but so frustrating, because there was nothing he could do about it. Elizabeth was depressed because they had been unable to have more children. She had always joked about it in the past. But in the last year there had been just a growing despondency and oblique remarks about how she had let Adam down.

Adam did want more children, but he would never tell Elizabeth that now. So
he resigned himself to the fact that Kellen was to be their only child.

Now, as he danced with
Kellen, he glanced down at her shining red hair with a combination of bewilderment, love, and blighted hope.

A daughter, he thought, and no other sons.
What did it matter? Ian may prove capable after all, and I’ll be able to hand the newspapers over to him someday.

Kellen stepped on his toe. “Oh, Daddy! I’m sorry!” she said
. “I do that in class all the time because most of the time I lead.”

“But why?”

“Because Miss Brody doesn’t have enough boys to go around and I’m so tall that she makes me fill in.” She smiled. “At least I won’t sit around at parties. I can always dance with girls.”

Adam smiled. “You’ll be too busy with the boys for that, I suspect.”

“Boys,” Kellen said. “Who needs them?”

Adam tried not to smile.

“I bet you wish I was a boy,” Kellen said.

He hid his surprise by not meeting her eyes. “That’s not true.”

“If I was a boy I could come to this place with you any time I wanted, like Ian does.”

It was not a petulant plea for attention. She was serious, and it made Adam feel ashamed of his earlier thoughts. He tilted her chin up. “Kellen, listen to me. You’re my daughter, and you’re very special to me.”

“Do you think I’m pretty?” she asked.

“Very.”

“As pretty as Mommy?”

“Yes,” he said softly.

It was about ten when they arrived home. Adam made sure Kellen was in bed and then went to his own room. The bedside light was on and Elizabeth was propped up on pillows, her eyes closed. He began to undress and the sound of the closet door awakened her.

“Go back to sleep,” he whispered.

“I was waiting for you,” she said. “How did it go?”

Adam pulled off his tie with a wry smile. “I’m afraid I’m not very good with her, Elizabeth. You know, as bad as it was with Ian when he was young at least around him I didn’t feel...”

“Uncomfortable?” Elizabeth smiled. “She’s just a little girl, Adam. She won’t bite you.”

He slipped into bed, and Elizabeth fit herself into the crook of his shoulder. “I’m not so sure,” he
said. “She’s got some strange ideas. She said she wants to be a boy.”

“Yes, I know.”

They lay quietly for a moment. “You can’t imagine what this night meant to her, Adam,” Elizabeth said. “She loves you so much.”

Adam reached over and turned out the light.

“Adam, I’d like you to do something for me if you can,” Elizabeth said.

“Anything.”

“She looks up to you so. There are things you could teach her.”

“What can I possibly do that you don’t do already better, Elizabeth? You’re teaching her how to be a lady. What’s more important than that?” He paused. “You should have seen her tonight. The way she looked and handled herself around people.
A real little lady. I didn’t realize how grown up she is. Made me quite proud.”

“But there are things
that I can’t give her that you can, Adam.” She propped herself on one elbow to look at him. “Make her feel like she’s important in your life. And that she’s worthwhile. Daughters need that sort of thing from fathers.”

H
e was not sure what she was asking of him. That he spend more time with Kellen probably and not make the same mistakes he had with Ian. He decided suddenly that next month the three of them would go down to the house in Carmel for a long weekend together.

“You’re right, Elizabeth,” he said. “I’ll try to make more time.”

He pulled her close and, feeling a stir of arousal, lightly cupped one of Elizabeth’s breasts. Her body gave the slightest tensing motion, and Adam knew what it was. Whenever they began to make love lately, there was always that moment of dreaded anticipation. As good as their lovemaking was, now it was always colored with the question of conception.

They made love slowly and silently. It was still exciting, but an energy was missing, just as it was from Elizabeth herself. When it was over, he sensed a need in her left unfulfilled. There would be no more babies, he knew. He had to help Elizabeth face that.

CHAPTER TWENTY-
FIVE

In the summer of 1951, Adam closed the deal on the purchase of the
Las Vegas Record
. Now there were five newspapers in the Bryant chain, spread over three states. Across the country, it was becoming known that Adam was a force to be reckoned with. When William Randolph Hearst died and control of his empire was dispersed among his five sons, it was Adam Bryant who most said was heir apparent to the title of single most powerful newspaper owner in the country.

At Thanksgiving, Adam sat at the dining room table in the house on Divisadero, his head bowed to lead grace. He recited the prayer of thanks, and when he looked up, he felt a surge of gratitude. He was, indeed, a very lucky man.

On his left was his son, Ian, soon to be graduated from Princeton. On his right was his daughter, Kellen, already showing promise of becoming a beautiful young woman.

And at the other end of the table, his wife Elizabeth, ravishing in green velvet, wearing a necklace made from the three jewels he had given her on their fourth anniversary.

“Before we start, I have some news,” Adam said. He smiled at Elizabeth. “President Truman has offered me an ambassadorship to France.”

There was stunned silence.

“Adam, that’s...” Elizabeth’s voice trailed off.

“Unbelievable?” Adam finished.

Ian was looking at him as if he were crazy.

“What’s a
bassership?” Kellen said.

“Ambassadorship,” Elizabeth corrected softly. “It’s a job where a man represents his country in a foreign country.” She glanced at Adam. “It’s a very important job, an honor.”

“Does this mean we have to move?” Kellen asked.

“No, Lil’bit, it doesn’t.” He looked back at Elizabeth. “I turned it down.”

Elizabeth’s face was blank, but then a small smile tipped her lips.

Ian let out a breath and picked up his wine. “Well, thank
God for your good sense, Father,” he said. “The idea of living with all those unwashed frogs.”

“
Ian, France is a wonderful country,” Adam said. “You’d do well to visit there.”

“Why?” Ian said. “As long as they keep sending over their wine, I see no reason to go there.”

Adam let the remark pass. Ian, it was apparent, was becoming a snob. He further annoyed Adam by leaving early, saying he had a date. But the rest of the dinner continued without incident. Afterward, Adam and Elizabeth sat in the living room before the fire with their coffee.

“You’re glad I turned it down, aren’t you,” Adam said.

“Yes.”

“But why? I’d have thought you’d jump at the chance to live in Paris.”

“You could never leave your newspapers, Adam. I could never allow you to.” Elizabeth looked around the room. “Besides, this is my home. I could never leave it.” She smiled, her eyes lit by the fire. “I’m so proud of you, Adam. You’ve done all you set out to do.”

“You made it possible.”

“Money is just money, Adam. It takes more than that to make dreams real.”

“I don’t mean the money,” he said. “I mean by your belief in me. I’d be nowhere without that.”

Elizabeth embraced him then pulled away. “I’ve got to go say good night to Kellen. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

Kellen was sitting up in bed, waiting when Elizabeth came in. “Why didn’t Daddy take that new job?” she asked.

Elizabeth began to tuck her in. “Because he likes his own job more. Running newspapers is just as important as being an ambassador.”

“Maybe I’ll be an ambassador when I grow up.”

“I thought you wanted to be a veterinarian.”

Kellen
looked at Elizabeth hopefully. “I could do both.”

Elizabeth sat on the edge of the bed. “That would be rather
hard. It might be better if you chose one.”

“You’re right.” Kellen nodded solemnly. “Maybe I should just be a newspaper magnet.”

Elizabeth laughed. “Where did you hear that word?”

“I heard someone call Daddy that once. What does Daddy do, exactly?”

“Well, he watches over all his newspapers in the chain.”

Kellen smiled broadly. “That’s what I thought! A magnet
that holds the chain together!”

“It’s magnate, by the way. But you’ve got the idea.”

Kellen slid down in the bed. “Mommy, can a girl be a magnate...or just boys?”