Accidentally...Over?: Accidentally Yours 5 (28 page)

There was yet another knock at the door. She opened it. “Listen, I really don’t need…” There was no one.

“Máax?”

She waited for a reply. If he was there, he wasn’t saying anything. Ashli then noticed a card and rectangular box wrapped in shimmery red paper on the floor. She picked it up and closed the door, locking it behind her.

The card was an invitation for a party tomorrow evening.
A costume party? For the end of the world?

Your driver will pick you up at eight o’clock. I hope you like the dress.

Yours Forever,

Máax

Ashli opened the box. “Funny, Máax. Real funny.”

Eighteen

Ashli’s limo pulled up behind a long line of other flashy vehicles to the red carpet, where svelte men in crisp tuxedos lined the walkways and giant floodlights speared the desert night sky. It felt like a lavish Hollywood movie premiere until she noticed the crowd pouring inside. Unicorns, clowns, genies, kings, and queens, the costumes were elaborate and outrageous.

Great. I’m underdressed.

Ashli thanked her driver as an usher opened the door, and she made her way inside the grandiose ballroom. The dimly lit interior pulsed with loud music and flashing lights. Giant twenty-foot-high golden statues of several gods illuminated every corner. The ceiling was a radiant spectacle of thousands of sparkling white lights arranged into constellations and…

Googly-eyed unicorns?

There had to be at least a thousand people toasting, dancing, and laughing.

Flabbergasted, Ashli stepped aside and gawked at the river of people flowing by. Or fountain of people? Yes, a man dressed as a fountain, complete with running water spouting from the top of his head and a giant round basin to catch the flow, floated by right next to another woman riding a very tall… well, she didn’t know really, because there wasn’t actually anything there.

“Hello, Ashli. Welcome to the end of days party. What do you think?” Ashli looked up at two tall women. One wore a gold crown and short white dress, the other a giant—and she meant
giant
—beehive atop her head.

Ashli busted out laughing. “Oh! I get it. It’s a beehive hairdo. That costume is hysterica…” The beehive woman looked like she just might reach down and rip off Ashli’s eyebrows. “What? What did I say?”

The woman in white narrowed her eyes and poked an angry finger at Ashli’s chest. “That’s not a costume, you little twa…” She pulled back the offending finger and looked at the beehive lady. “Hey. Are you in the mood to write a poem? Or maybe braid each other’s hair?”

“Yeah. Actually, I am.” Beehive lady gave her little head a shake. Amazingly the hive stayed in place.

“Let’s go find Kinich and Votan,” said the woman in white. “They have long hair. Maybe they’ll want to join us.” She turned her attention back to Ashli. “As you for… we’ll let your little insult slide. But just this once.”

What was with these two? And why was everyone so into poetry, writing songs, and braiding hair?

A strong hand gripped Ashli’s arm. “Ashli,” said Máax in an amused tone. “I see you’ve met my sisters, Camaxtli, also known as Fate, and Colel, Mistress of Bees, who happens to have a hive living on her head.”

Ashli yanked her arm away. “That one poked me.”

Máax leaned in. “Just ignore them. They’re jealous because they pale in comparison to your beauty.”

Then Ashli noticed something truly strange. Shocking, really. She was talking to Máax. Yes, Máax, an actual person whom she could see, standing right in front of her. His skin and hair had been painted gold. He wore sunglasses and a white toga. Ashli could see every bulging, rippling muscle shimmer as he moved. He was magnificent. And huge. Somehow he’d seemed smaller that day in the tub, but standing next to him made her feel like a toy Yorkie next to a pit bull. Only he did not look like a dog, but a god. A real-life god. And delicious. Those bare, broad, square shoulders that tapered into a tight waist; those thick, strong arms.
Sigh.
He was a sight of perfection. Every last inch. Was that gold paint edible? Had he painted his mandy bar, too?

“You look, um, amazing,” she said.

He looked down at his body. “Thank you. The idea came from you, actually. I cannot stop thinking about your special caramel body treatment.”

Caramel. Yes.
She couldn’t stop thinking about that, either.

You’re an idiot! Look at you, pining for him.
And appreciating. And thinking dirty, dirty thoughts about that mouth of his and the way it had kissed her. Or the way she’d kissed him back. Or how when she was around him, she became completely wild for him. Or when she’d pleasured him, he’d groaned in a voice so primal and masculine that she’d almost tumbled over the edge. Or the way he moved against her body and—

“Ashli? Did you hear what I said?” Máax asked.

Oh, had he been talking while she’d just snorkeled to the bottom of the gutter?

“I advise you to steer clear of those two sisters of mine. Or any of my brethren for that matter.” He rubbed his forehead, causing a bit of paint to streak just above his brow. “Thank the gods you’re immortal now.”

Immortal. Immortal. Still doesn’t feel real when I say it. Immooortal. Immooortal. Nope.

He leaned in close and whispered in her ear, “By the way, that toga looks stunning on you. I may have to remove my costume so that others do not mistake my toga for a pup tent.”

His scent, so sweet and addictive, overwhelmed her senses.

“And your hair, I love it loose and wild like this.” He rubbed a lock between his fingers and then slid his hand across her cheek. “You are so lovely, Ashli. Every inch of you.”

Standing next to him, seeing him with her very own eyes, hearing him whisper those tempting words was too much. He was a seduction machine.

“Hey. Looking good, Máax.” The deep male voice came from behind Ashli.

Máax glanced over Ashli’s shoulder. “Andrus. Tommaso.” He dipped his head, grinning. “Amusing costumes, gentlemen.”

Ashli turned her head to see who stood behind her, but when her eyes registered the two large men wearing loincloths, their nearly bare bodies and hair caked in dried mud, she yelped.
Ohmygod.

“Ashli.” Máax chuckled. “Andrus and Tommaso are dressed as Maaskab, an evil sect of Mayan priests.”

Ashli pieced together a half smile. No doubt the other half was a look of disgust. Both men wore necklaces made of plastic fingers and had fake blood smeared on their faces.

“See, Tommaso,” Andrus said. “I told you. The ladies weren’t going to be into this. Now I’m not going to get laid. It’s my first night off in six months. Do you know how hard it is to find qualified stand-ins when the gods throw a party?”

Tommaso rolled his eyes. “You’re such a fucking wuss, Andrus. Come on, I saw a couple Payals over by the hors d’oeuvre table eyeing our Scabby thongs.”

“I am not a wuss; I am a lethal assassin.” Andrus punched Tommaso in the shoulder.

“You’re a fucking nanny, Andrus. Now shut the hell up and let’s get hammered. By the way…” Tommaso tilted his head to one side and turned stone-cold serious. “Have I ever told you that I really love you, man? Not in a gay way, not that there’s anything wrong with that. But like a brother. Fuck—why did I just say that?” Tommaso glanced at Máax and Ashli. “I gotta get a drink. Nice meeting you, Ashli.”

“Uhhh…” Andrus shrugged his brows and watched Tommaso scurry away before turning back to Ashli. “I guess I’ll go join him. See what’s wrong. Nice to meet you, Ashli…” His voice trailed off, and his eyes locked on Ashli.

Okay. Awkward.
She glanced at Máax, then back at the man.

“Enjoy the party, Andrus,” Máax said, politely shooing him away.

Andrus shook his head, snapping out of his distraction. “Yeah. Thanks.” He disappeared into the crowd.

“That was interesting,” Máax mumbled.

Ashli turned her attention back to Máax, who began rattling away some story about Andrus being hopelessly in love with another man’s wife—that Niccolo guy?—and caretaker to his daughter. Honestly, Ashli wasn’t really listening. How could she?

She sighed at the deeply chiseled muscles, the ripples of his partially exposed abs, the thick, strong thighs jutting out from below the hem of his almost too short toga, a toga that barely covered him and reminded her of what was underneath.
Mandy bar!
It was a part of him she remembered touching and tasting and enjoying. She’d never felt so free and uninhibited with a man. She’d never felt so needy for one, either.

Have you forgotten about his other fine traits? Like being a liar?

Yes, but even you can admit, it wasn’t with malicious intent.

“Hi, Máax.” Twin petite blondes with sparkle-covered skin and wearing flimsy white negligees smiled lustily at him.

“Where have you been hiding yourself? You naughty, naughty boy,” the one on the left said in a saucy voice.

Ashli felt the urge to punch her.

Máax smiled stiffly. “Hello, ladies, may I introduce you to Ashli, my mate. Does she not look lovely tonight?”

The two perky-boobed women looked at Ashli. “Is this the mortal who dumped you?” the one on the right asked. “Doesn’t look like much to me. Kinda plain.”

“I hear from the vampires,” said the other one, “that she couldn’t, you know, please him so she tried to run away. Is that true, Máax? Because we know how to handle a god.”

I’m gonna punch them both! Right in their perky little boobs!

“Ladies.” Máax scowled. “We both know that is untrue—”

“I’m sorry,” Ashli interrupted, her fists clenched. “Who the hell are you—”

“Let me handle this, Ashli,” Máax said, cutting her off. “You’re still new to everything.”

Incredible! He’s incredible,
she thought bitterly.
I had this!
Why did he insist on being so, so, so
condescending. Ugh!

“I dumped him,” Ashli said, “because he’s a liar. And he’s all yours, ladies.” Ashli turned away and began pushing through the cocktail-sipping crowd. “I’m going to find the ladies’ room.”

Can’t please him? Can’t please him?
Had he really been telling people—uhh, vampires—that?

“Ashli!” Máax called, but she needed to get away from him before she got sucked in again. His voice, his smell, his mere presence acted like a giant amplifier for her emotions. And those two disgusting… What the hell were they?

“They’re sex fairies!” Máax screamed. “You can’t believe a word they say!”

She kept walking. “Sex fairies?” she mumbled. “Well, just great!” Sex fairies were publically shaming her bedroom skills while hitting on Máax.

Maybe you’re not ready for this. Maybe it’s too much.

No. You can do this. Just take a breath.
She fought the tiny voices in her head, urging her to run back to her room. Or to 1993. But she was determined to leave her old, emotional hermit–like ways behind and enjoy what little time she had left.

She found the ladies’ room near the corner of the packed convention hall and pushed the door. “Sex fairies. Really?” Who ever heard of such a lame species? Probably some man had invented them.

She walked over to the sink and stared herself down in the mirror. “You are not going to cry. Not. Not. Not. Do you hear me?”

“Hello, Ashli. Nice to finally meet you. You have no idea how long we’ve waited.”

Ashli looked into the mirror, but there was no one there. She turned quickly and saw a blonde with a bob and a brunette with short hair, both about her age. They wore black-and-white-striped referee outfits, whistle necklaces, and…

“Holly crap! Are those ummm…”

“Wings,” said the petite blonde and the shorter of the two. She reached out her hand. “I’m Anne, by the way, and this is my associate, Jess.”

Ashli shook hands with Anne but immediately snapped hers away when she noticed an odd tingle. Who were these two? They looked harmless enough, like sweet Midwestern sorority sisters. Except for the referee outfits and frigging enormous white, fluffy wings that sparkled like luminescent diamonds. “Are they…”

“Real? Yes,” replied the brunette, Jess. “But we can talk about that later. Right now, we need to chat. And it’s
muy importante
. One might even say that you were born for this.
El gran momento!
So time to listen-listen. ’Kay?”

Ashli wasn’t really sure she was having this conversation. Perhaps she’d slipped on the floor on the way into the bathroom? She flipped a glance over her shoulder at the mirror behind her. Crap! Still empty. But when she
looked directly in front of her, the two women were as plain as day.

What the hell?
“You can’t be real.”

“Come on,” said Anne, “by now you should be all broken in. You’ve met deities—an invisible one at that—vampires, you’ve been sifted through time, and you’ve met Cimil’s unicorn.”

“I met a unicorn?” She didn’t remember meeting any unicorn.