Accidentally...Over?: Accidentally Yours 5 (25 page)

Niccolo and his men simply stood there staring, grinning like giddy fools.

These good vampires kind of remind me of clowns with all that smiling. So creepy!
“Okay. Out! All of you big, weird, smiling men, errr, vampires whatever-the-
infernum
, just
get out
.” Ashli shooed them toward the front door.

“Gentlemen, I’m feeling inexplicably generous; let’s give them a moment to talk.” Niccolo glanced at her and held up his finger. “A moment. Nothing more. I have the sudden urge to write a love poem for Helena before I get home, and I’m due in five minutes. I promised my daughter Matty I would be home in time for
My Little Pony
.”

Huh?

“Oh. Can I watch?” asked the vampire with the kind eyes.

“Sure, Sentin.” Niccolo shrugged and headed out the door. “
Winx
is on right after.”

The men, errr, vampires, followed Niccolo outside. “I really like that Ashli,” one of them said, “she kind of reminds me of Helena.”

“Yes,” Niccolo agreed. “I think Ashli will get along splendidly with the rest of the girls. And she smells nice, too. Kind of sweet.”

Sweet? Who’s he calling sweet?
She slammed the door behind them and turned toward the loud sighing sound. “Máax? I’m going to give you one chance to come clean. But I warn you, if I find out you withheld anything, you’ll never get my trust back again.”

The ground rolled violently beneath their feet, and Ashli stumbled to the side. “Crap. What was that?”

“A sign. The end is near.”

Máax stared at Ashli, feeling as though his heart might crumble like a high-rise in the big one, to use an apropos metaphor; however, it wasn’t because of the earthquake, though that certainly sucked.
It is the lie.

He wanted to ignore the uncomfortable feeling, but frankly, he’d never experienced anything quite like it. His soul felt tainted. How long would he stand it?

Think, man. You never intended to keep the truth from her, anyway. You merely lied to get her here, to save her life. She will understand. She will forgive you when she hears that you did it out of concern for her well-being. You had no other choice.

Máax took a stiff breath. “Ashli, the truth is—”

“That was earthquake number eight! Sorry, bro!” A
blur of leather pants swooped past him and swiped Ashli away.

“Dammit, Sentin. You fucking idi—” He felt a cool hand clasp his arm.

One moment he stood in Ashli’s living room, ready to spill the godly beans, and the next, he stood inside the Uchben prison in the center of the main floor where his brethren yelled from their cells. Rather loudly, he might add. Some hurtled insults at each other, some toward the line of vampires standing guard alongside a rather large contingency of Uchben. That’s right, Uchben—the gods’ human allies, each one sworn to obey, serve, and protect humankind and the gods.

Oh, boy. This just got unnecessarily more interesting.
For whatever reason the Uchben were now assisting in the gods’ captivity. Cimil must have convinced them.

Máax quickly surveyed the chaotic scene before him and spotted his beautiful Ashli in her red dress, a wild mess of damp curls pulled into a sexy little knot at the nape of her neck, standing next to Sentin. She did not appear to be afraid, more stunned really. Probably by the sight of his brethren behind enclosed glass. Who could blame her? After all, they were an eccentric lot. His brother K’ak, for example, wore a metallic-silver toga and a two-foot-high silver-and-turquoise headdress depicting intertwining serpents. K’ak still hadn’t selected an official deity title, like God of Giant Obnoxious Headdresses, for example, because he didn’t have a flagship power, but nevertheless he had many gifts. Such as the ability to chuck lightning bolts, which he currently did at the glass.

Then there was their sister, Colel Cab, the Mistress of Bees. One couldn’t help but stare at the enormous living
beehive atop her head. Of course, the bees swarmed in her cell, completely obscuring Colel. Then there were the others: Akna, the Goddess of Fertility, so powerful that even rocks couldn’t resist multiplying in her presence (the Pet Rock craze of the seventies was all her fault); Acan, the God of Intoxication and Wine, aka Belch, who currently lay facedown on the floor next to a beer keg, the hose sticking from his mouth as he suckled like a babe; and Ixtab, the Goddess of Happiness, once known as the Goddess of Suicide because her gifts of producing happiness depend upon removing one’s evil thoughts and redeploying them into another living creature—usually an evil, sick, or dying person—and her incubus slash vampire mate Antonio, aka the Spanish incu-pire. Or was that the vamp-ubus? He couldn’t remember. Then there was Camaxtli, the Goddess of the Hunt, aka Fate, who looked like a blonde Wonder Woman carrying bows and arrows in lieu of a lasso; Chaam, God of Male Virility, the master of seduction, with signature nipple-length waves of black hair, and his mate Maggie; Votan, the God of Death and War, aka Guy Santiago (words could not describe what mortal women experienced when their gazes set upon him) and his lovely, pregnant redheaded mate Emma; Zac, the God of Temptation; Ah-Ciliz, the God of Eclipses, aka A.C.; and last but not least, Kinich, ex–God of the Sun, the original golden boy, now vampire—long, long story—and husband to his also-pregnant Penelope, the current keeper of his solar powers and the official leader of the House of Gods, although he and Penelope shared responsibilities.

Yes, they were an immortal zoo. But wasn’t every family a collection of odd creatures?

Niccolo and one of his men sifted beside Máax, pushing him back. Máax stumbled and caught himself from falling.

“Would you fucking watch where you land?” Máax growled.

Niccolo’s turquoise eyes twinkled before he chuckled. “Sorry, didn’t
see
you standing there.”

Why did everyone think his transparency was so damned funny? It wasn’t. It blew to be invisible.

“Máax! Bad god! Bad!” Cimil’s voice screeched through the other gods’ roars.

A silence quickly fell over the prison.

Kinich, ex–Sun God and the epitome of all things sunny right down to his skin, hair, and fucking annoying altruistic attitude, placed his palms flat against the glass. His large body eclipsed the petite brunette behind him, Penelope. “Máax, where the hell have you been? Let us the fuck out of here right now. Or so help me gods—”

“I am not the one holding you prisoner,” Máax barked. “That said, keeping everyone jailed does seem like the logical solution, albeit a temporary one. Except in my case. Which cell is mine by the way?” Máax was ready to face the consequences of his actions.

“You think we’re worried about locking you up?” Cimil rolled her eyes and then pointed straight at Ashli. “As if that matters now! We’ve had eight earthquakes. Eight! Human cities are about to crumble like a fine, drunken goat cheese! And why don’t you try explaining, Máax, what the
hell
Miss 1993 is doing here? The one thing I told you not to do, you did! Now we’re all completely screwed. And not in a fabulous orgy kind of way, either!”

“Máax.” Ashli’s wounded expression pierced his heart from across the room.

Well, time to face the ugly music.
This was not how he wanted Ashli to learn the horrible truth. He’d brought her forward in time, rendering Cimil’s “cure for the apocalypse” prophecy null and void.

But Ashli cares for you; she will understand.

Or be a thousand times more hurt.

Máax cleared his throat, and all eyes shifted in his general direction. “Before anyone passes judgment, I ask that you hear me out. I realize Cimil believes that in order to halt the apocalypse, I had to leave Ashli in 1993 and allow her to arrive here through the normal course of time, but that simply was not possible. Ashli would not have survived, and I had to save her. She is my mate.”

Ashli pushed her way through the crowded room, following the sound of his voice. “Máax? What are you talking about?” The look of hurt in her eyes was almost unbearable.

The entire room instantly fell into a hush, all eyes glued to Ashli.

He swallowed. “I was told, Ashli, that in order for your destiny to be fulfilled, in order to halt the apocalypse, I could not bring you forward in time. Your life needed to play out the normal way without time travel. However, that is the silliest—”

“You lied to me! To me?” Ashli’s face turned rage red. “How could you? I trusted you!”

“Máax.” Kinich’s turquoise eyes flickered from black to a calm pastel blue. “Why have you betrayed us? We’re your family. Don’t you love us? Because we love you.” Grumbles of concurrence erupted from everyone in
the prison, including the platoons of Uchben and vampire soldiers. Looked like a godsdamned leather pants convention.

Máax ignored the awkward touchy-feely question from Kinich and instead focused on Ashli. “You would never have survived, Ashli. For whatever reason, the Universe sought to eliminate you. She told me herself in a vision. But I have rectified that now; you are immortal, a gift I was unable to give you in 1993 because the portals to my world were sealed during that time. It’s a long story but true.”

Cimil tsked in Máax’s general direction. “Now you’ve done it! You’ve been banished from the realm of the gods. But you went there anyway and made her immortal? Without our blessing? Máax! I’m shocked. Bad god. Bad!”

Why did Máax have the distinct feeling that Cimil was putting on a show?
Because she is a horrible liar.
Yes, she was up to something. Perhaps the entire prophecy thing had been a ploy. Wouldn’t surprise him at this point, honestly.

Ashli’s gaze fell to the floor. “Is it true that we are all going to die? All because of me?”

“I do not believe so,” Máax said. “I believe that—”

“Yes! Yes! It’s true!” Cimil squawked. “After earthquake number ten, the gods go to war with each other. Within seven months, we completely destroy the planet.”

Ashli flashed a glance over her shoulder at Cimil. “That must be your sister.”

“Ashli, do not listen to her. Cimil is not trustworthy,” he said.

“Oh”—Ashli poked his chest—“but you are? You lied to me.
Lied.
And aren’t you the God of Truth? Aren’t you supposed to be incapable of lying?”

“If you’d simply allow me to—”

“No.” She held up her hand. “I don’t want to hear another word. I should have known better, but it’s my own damned fault. I allowed myself to be taken in by you and your—your godly hotness. I’m an idiot.” She threw up her hands. “I actually allowed myself to dream this could work, that we could have a life together. And now you’re saying that my being here is a death sentence for the entire planet?”

“Not exactly. Prophecies are very difficult to interpre—”

“I want to go back,” Ashli said. “And not just to my house, but to my own time. We have to undo this!”

Go back? Yes, he’d made her immortal, but she wasn’t indestructible. She was more like a vampire who might live forever as long her body wasn’t destroyed. Gods were the only true immortals in existence. “You cannot return to your time.” Bottom line, she might be fine. She might not. But why take the risk? What for? They would find another way to stop the clock.

The smell of anger wafted from Ashli’s body. Yeah, he had to admit, it turned him on.

Maledicta, is there anything about this woman I don’t like?

“You made me immortal, didn’t you?” Ashli looked at Cimil. “I’m safe now, right?”

Cimil shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine. Except on Fridays. My guessing sucks on Fridays. Because that’s when I go to happy hour. It’s such a distraction when hot wings and onion rings are complimentary with a purchase of a pint. Yanno what I mean?”

The vampires and Uchben soldiers exchanged glances and then nodded and mumbled in agreement.

“See.” Cimil grinned.

“Today
is
Friday,” said Kinich.

“Oops,” Cimil said cheerfully, “I guess the guessing store is closed today. Or not. ’Cause I just guessed.”

“Ashli,” Máax pleaded. “Do not listen to Cimil. We will find a way to make everything right.”

“I hope you are certain about that, brother,” Kinich argued. “Because now the prophecy will go unfulfilled, and we are almost out of time. You’ve gambled with the lives of everyone, including those of our children. By the way, can anyone explain why I have the sudden urge to write a song about puppies and cute little chipmunks? Anyone?”

“Have you all gone mad?” Máax argued. “Have you? We all know by now that Cimil isn’t to be trusted. Hell, she doesn’t even trust herself half the time. Just ask Roberto.”

This was the only perk about being invisible: intelligence gathering. Máax had long ago begun to suspect that Cimil was up to something and began spying on her. Of course, he never could have imagined the shocking truth. Cimil had aided the gods’ enemies—those evil Mayan priests, the Maaskab, and evil vampires called Obscuros. She’d also poisoned Chaam with dark energy and used him to do her evil bidding. Again and again, she’d masterminded unspeakable atrocities. But then Máax discovered something else. There was an odd cosmic method to her cataclysmic madness. Yes, when one stepped back—really, really far back—one began to see that those seemingly unconnected, malicious events she’d orchestrated weren’t random at all. One might even go as far as saying that Cimil was the yin of the Universe’s yin and yang. Good always seemed to blossom from the rubble she left behind. But that did not mean she could be trusted.