A Thousand Tomorrows & Just Beyond the Clouds Omnibus (56 page)

Even if she would remember for a lifetime how it felt to dance with him on a patch of clover halfway up a mountain trail on a sunny afternoon in June.

C
ODY KEPT HIS
distance on purpose. He didn’t want his feelings for Elle influencing his decision to stay or go. Because if he stayed, he wanted to go to her not only with empty hands, but with a full heart. Full of hope and promise and excitement for tomorrow and every day after it.

So that week he kept his distance from Elle and his parents, and in some ways even Carl Joseph. In the process, he took his brother’s advice and prayed. He talked to God every chance he had. Should he go and spend a year sorting through his options, his feelings? Or should he stay, roll up his sleeves, and work alongside a girl who filled his senses? Was he ready for that, or would he be better off by himself? Him and God.

The way he’d never really been even after Ali died.

Until now, now that he’d let her go.

Day after day he prayed, stopping in each morning to take Carl Joseph to the center, and forcing himself to stay only a few minutes, so he wouldn’t change his mind and stay all day. He was that drawn to Elle. In some ways, he expected the
answer to come easily. Should he stay or go? Simple question, simple answer. But God didn’t shout at him or whisper in his heart or make the answer clear in any way.

The answer came on Friday, after Carl Joseph’s field trip.

Cody had ridden Ace that day, and he was in the barn brushing the horse down, patting his neck. He heard Carl Joseph tromping out to meet him long before his brother appeared at the door.

“Brother!” It was midafternoon, and the sun splashed rays on either side of Carl Joseph. “Supermarkets are fun!”

Cody set down the brush, dusted off his hands, and crossed the hay-covered floor to the door. He wiped his brow and smiled at his brother. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“What?” Carl Joseph didn’t pick up on sarcasm. It was one more innocent way about him.

“Yes, Buddy.” Cody patted his shoulder. “Supermarkets are a lot of fun.”

“Yeah, and I picked out a melon and”—he held up two fingers—“a two-gallon milk and butter unsalted and wheat bread.” He clapped his hands and laughed the way he did when he was practically overcome with joy.

“That’s great, Buddy. I’m proud of you.” He meant it. Every field trip, every class session was another victory for Carl Joseph, another step closer to Goal Day.

Carl Joseph bounced a little, nodding and explaining in detail about the trip. But after a minute of talking, he stopped and his smile dropped off. He pushed his glasses up onto his nose and squinted at Cody. “Why, Brother?”

“Why what?”

“You didn’t go. I like you to go, Brother. But maybe you don’t like supermarkets?”

Cody stared at his brother, past the extra chromosome to the tender-hearted boy inside. A boy who had looked up to him and longed for his attention since he was old enough to talk. And there, in the guileless question from his only brother, Cody had the answer he was looking for.

Just as strongly as if God had walked into the barn and hand-delivered it.

C
ODY AND
C
ARL
Joseph walked into the center ten minutes late, but Elle was nowhere to be seen. Cody’s heart pounded, but he expected that. He’d taken his answer back to God and prayed about it over the weekend. Time and again the feeling in his heart was the same.

Now it was time to act on it.

Carl Joseph didn’t know what Cody was about to do or how today was different from any other day. He bounded into the classroom, stopped, and was about to give Cody a good-bye hug when Cody stopped him. “I’m staying, Buddy.”

His brother’s eyebrows lifted high up into his forehead. “You’re staying?” He made a few disbelieving guffaws. “Really, Brother?”

“Really.” Cody patted his brother’s shoulder. “I’ll sit here by the door. You go with your friends.”

Carl Joseph ran to the group, waving his hands. He was just announcing, “Brother’s staying! Brother’s staying!” when
Elle walked back in from the break room. She must’ve felt Cody watching her because she turned to him and their eyes met and held. They held while Daisy jumped to her feet and as she danced around Carl Joseph, celebrating the fact that his brother was staying.

Elle put her things down on her desk, turned, and slowly came to him. Her expression told him that she was confused, that she didn’t understand whether he was staying for the day, visiting with Carl Joseph’s class.

Or staying in Colorado Springs.

When she reached him, a hundred questions shone in her eyes. But she asked just one. “You’re staying?”

He hated the way she looked nervous. Elle Dalton, whose heart had been through enough. He stood and glanced at the class. The aide was working with several students. He searched her eyes again. “Can you step outside for a minute?” His pounding heart grew louder, so loud he could barely concentrate. He steadied himself.
Breathe, Gunner. Take a breath.
He could do this. God had made it clear.

Elle announced to the class that it was time for group discussion. She gave a knowing look to her aide and then smiled at her students. “Find your seats, please. I’ll be right back.”

She followed Cody outside, and a warm wind met them on the patio. He leaned against the cool brick wall and waited until she was a few feet in front of him. “I have a question.”

“Okay.” She ran her tongue along her lower lip. She looked nervous, no idea what was coming.

He smiled, and never broke eye contact. “Is that position still open? Running the fitness program here at the center?”

Surprise worked its way across her face, but it took only a few heartbeats before her eyes lit up. “Are you serious?”

Cody felt the anxiety leaving him. “On one condition.” In this moment there was Elle, and only Elle.

A happy cry came from her. “What?”

“I want a dance studio.”

Her reaction wasn’t slow or measured or cautious. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him, the sort of victory hug the moment demanded. But it demanded more than that.

He eased back just enough so he could see her, and slowly she took her arms from him. They stood there, inches from each other, and the mood between them changed with a sudden intensity. He crooked his finger and brushed it against her cheek. “I was right before.” He reminded himself to breathe again. “I feel it, too. I felt it then on the mountain.” He moved closer, searching her eyes. “And I feel it now.”

“Cody…” Fear shadowed her eyes, and she looked away. “I don’t know.”

“I won’t hurt you, Elle.” He took her hands in his. “I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t thought this through.”

When he rehearsed this moment in his mind, he hadn’t been sure where exactly it would take place or how it would wind up. But he knew one thing. He wouldn’t let her go until she was clear about his feelings. Only now, with her class waiting for her and doubt trying to distract her, he could think of just one way to convince her.

Gently, with a tenderness that he had learned a long time ago, he released her hands and worked his fingers along the sides of her face and into her soft brown hair. Then in a moment he was sure they would both remember forever, he leaned down and kissed her. It was not the kiss of passion and desire, even if those feelings were hidden inside him. Rather it was the kiss of everything new and tender and innocent. A tentative kiss that lasted only a few seconds.

When he straightened, he never took his eyes from hers. “Well.” He hugged her again and whispered into her hair. “Do I get the job?”

She didn’t answer him, and at first he wondered if she’d changed her mind. Not about him, but about the fitness program. But then he felt the trembling in her shoulders. She wasn’t hesitant.

She was crying.

And for the first time in far too long, Cody savored the sound. Because this time Elle’s tears did not come from a place of utter despair and heartbreak.

They came from pure, boundless joy.

E
LLE SNIFFED AND
wiped her tears. “Yes.” She pressed her cheek against Cody’s chest. “You can have the job.”

He stroked her hair, and after a little while they moved apart and he took her hands again. “Good thing, because I don’t exactly have a Plan B.” He smiled. “Not anymore.”

She was about to ask him what happened, how come he’d stayed away all week only to come here now with his mind
made up. But with his fingers around hers, she suddenly noticed something.

He wasn’t wearing his wedding ring.

“Cody—” she ran her thumb over the smooth indentation, the place where the ring had been just a week earlier. She looked at his finger and then back at him. “Why?”

“I wanted empty hands.” Sadness touched his eyes, but only in a distant sort of way.

She could imagine how hard it must’ve been to make this move, to set aside his wedding ring. As much as she felt giddy and alive, as much as her head was spinning trying to believe what was happening, she couldn’t have him doing this unless he was certain. She framed his face with her hands and looked deep into his eyes, all the way to his heart. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” His answer left no doubt, and his eyes told her he wanted to kiss her again. But he resisted; they both did. This wasn’t the time or place, and there would be no rushing whatever lay ahead. There were plenty of reasons to take things slowly.

He grinned, and his eyes danced. “So I was thinking that tonight, well, Carl Joseph and Daisy haven’t seen each other outside of class for a long time.”

“A week.” She felt like shouting out loud. She felt that good.

“Right, a whole week.” He gave a shake of his head as if to say a week was far too long. “So what about tonight the four of us go out for pizza?”

Elle tilted her head. She could feel the stars in her eyes. “That’d be amazing.”

She soothed her fingertips over the empty place where his wedding ring had been. “What made you do it, Cody?”

“I took your advice.” The laughter in his voice eased off a little, but the sorrow was gone.

“What advice was that?”

“I used a life skill.” He was serious, even though the air between them was light.

“Oh, really?” Already she could see where this was going, how it would play out in the weeks and months ahead. God in all His glory was giving her a new beginning, the one her mother and sisters and even she had prayed for. The future suddenly had all the streaky pinks and blues of a brilliant sunrise and Elle could’ve shouted her thanks to heaven because she could hardly wait.

She wanted to know what he meant, and she caught his eyes once more as they headed back toward the classroom. She worked to focus, but her head was still spinning. “Which life skill?”

“Prayer.” He smiled, and it gave her a window to his soul. “The one that matters most.”

Chapter Twenty-six

M
ary Gunner stood at the door of her house and waved good-bye. Cody and Carl Joseph were setting off to help move Daisy into her new apartment, the one she was sharing with Tammy, another student at the ILC.

Daisy had reached Goal Day the week before, and Mary and Mike had celebrated with Daisy and Elle’s mother, and all the students and their families. She had a job now, taking tickets at a movie theater one mile down from her apartment.