A Thousand Tomorrows & Just Beyond the Clouds Omnibus (49 page)

“Yes, that’s the one.” Elle led the way to the back of the classroom.

Cody was drained from the scare. He hung back with his mother while Elle linked arms with Carl Joseph and walked him to the students. It took a few seconds, but a chain reaction started.

Gus covered his mouth with both hands and then slid them along the side of his face to the top of his head. He danced in a circle and raised both arms high. “Carl Joseph is back!” He looked at the others and motioned for them to follow. “Carl Joseph is back, everybody!” He ran toward Carl Joseph so fast he tripped. Three other students helped him up, and just like that, Cody watched his brother become surrounded by the support of his friends.

Sid frowned at Carl Joseph. “You should never go that long without coming to class.” But after a few seconds, he smiled, too. “Never again, Carl Joseph.”

Some of the students were jumping in place, clapping and laughing and talking all at the same time.

“We have a new bus route! You have to know the new bus route.”

“Look at my haircut, Carl Joseph. Hair-cutting is a life skill!”

“We cooked asparagus, so now you can cook asparagus if you want asparagus.”

Those who weren’t shouting came up and patted Carl Joseph’s back. A few of them thanked him. “Finally our class is together again.” Tammy swung her long braids one way and then the other. “Thank you for coming back, Carl Joseph!”

Only then did Cody see Daisy. She had left the art table, and now she was walking up to the group. Her mouth hung open, and tears streamed down her face. At the same time, Carl Joseph seemed to take inventory of the faces around him, and he must’ve realized who was missing. In a sudden frantic burst of motion he made one half turn and then another, until finally he saw her coming closer. He smiled bigger than Cody had seen since he’d been home.

“Daisy…” He parted the circle of friends and ran to her, arms outstretched, big oaflike steps, all the way across the room.

But Daisy didn’t run to meet him. She hung her head and kept crying, stifling quiet sobs as Carl Joseph made his way to her. Cody and his mother drew nearer so they could hear.

“Daisy, what’s wrong?” Carl Joseph put his hand on her shoulder. “I’m here now.”

“You… left me.” Her words were hard to understand through her deep emotion. She looked up and her nose was red, her cheeks wet. “I didn’t know where you were. Even when it rained.”

Carl Joseph’s eyes grew wide and his lips parted. Cody understood the shock and regret in his expression. He had let his friend down and he felt terrible, wracked with guilt.
He released a quiet gasp. “I’m sorry, Daisy. I wanted to be here. I did.”

She seemed to grow calmer in light of his explanation, but still there was something in her expression. Hurt and betrayal. And it was then that Cody felt the pain of Carl Joseph’s last several weeks worst of all. What had they done, keeping him away from the center? Away from Daisy and Elle and Gus and everyone here?

Elle caught his eye. Then, dabbing at her own cheeks, she approached him and his mother. “I know you don’t agree, but”—she looked at Carl Joseph and Daisy—“he belongs here.” She hesitated, clearly struggling with her emotion. “He needs this.”

Their mother looked at Carl Joseph, at the way he had both his hands on Daisy’s shoulders now, how he was looking straight into her eyes, trying to convince her that he hadn’t meant to be gone, that he had missed her as much as she missed him. The wounded look in Daisy’s eyes was fading. She gave Carl Joseph the slightest smile. Mary touched her fingers to her throat and turned her attention back to Elle. “You’re right.” Her voice cracked. “But his health… I don’t know how we can do it.”

The other students made their way over to Daisy and Carl Joseph. By then Daisy was smiling, and Carl Joseph was doing a silly dance trying to make her laugh.

“Please, Mrs. Gunner. I know of other doctors you can talk to.” She swallowed, as if she didn’t want to overstep her bounds. “Please consider it.”

His mom seemed overwhelmed by the idea. But she nodded. “We will.”

Cody could’ve kissed Elle Dalton right there. That was the answer! Another doctor, one who was more open to advancements for sick people with Down Syndrome. He didn’t say anything, because he couldn’t. He was too mesmerized by the young teacher standing there, talking to his mother.

Before they left, Cody pulled Elle aside. “Thank you.” He studied her. Something in her eyes closed off whenever they were close like this. He swallowed a ripple of frustration. “For helping me look, but also for caring.”

“Of course.” She took a step back and motioned to her students. “I need to go. Maybe… maybe we’ll see Carl Joseph sometime soon.”

“Maybe.” He wanted to ask her what was wrong, but he resisted. “My parents… They have a meeting with his doctor tomorrow.”

“Well, then… I guess, have them call me.” She gave him a professional smile. Then she returned to her students.

On the way home that afternoon, while Carl Joseph rattled on about Daisy and Gus and Sid and Teacher, Cody couldn’t stop thinking about Elle. His feelings weren’t caused only by her eyes or the way he felt when he was near her. More than that, it was her love for her students. Her dedication and concern for Carl Joseph. In the hour they’d spent together looking for his brother, she’d taken hold of Cody’s heart with an intensity he’d known just one other time in
his life. He didn’t have to wonder about his feelings for Elle Dalton, not anymore. Today they were as clear as the sky over Colorado Springs. There was only one problem, and it consumed him the rest of the day and into the evening. He’d left a first impression bigger than Pikes Peak.

And now—no matter what he tried—he wasn’t sure there was any way around it.

Chapter Twenty

T
he appointment with the specialist brought more bad news.

When the three of them got home from Denver that evening, Cody’s father found him out back in the barn and told him the details. An MRI proved that a degeneration was happening in Carl Joseph’s brain. He would be prone to more and stronger seizures, and worse, he was at high risk for a stroke.

“Between that and his heart disease, he might not have long. A few years. Five, maybe.” His father’s eyes were red and swollen. “So we’ve made our decision. Carl Joseph has to stay here, where we can care for him.” His dad took a quick breath and looked up, fighting a wave of emotion. When he had more control, he searched Cody’s eyes. “We want to talk to Elle about having him visit the center. Maybe once a week.”

Cody reached out and steadied himself against the nearest
wall. This couldn’t be happening, not to Carl Joseph. Losing Ali was enough loss for a lifetime. They couldn’t give up, couldn’t simply accept the diagnosis when maybe there was something they could do. He swallowed his disbelief and let his hands fall to his sides. “Elle says she knows another doctor…”

“The tests don’t lie, Cody.” His father gave a sad shake of his head and then moved toward the barn door. “I’m going back inside. Your mother’s having a hard time.”

When he was gone, Cody tried to draw a full breath, but he couldn’t. His one lung fought against the news, against the shock ripping through him. So that was it? Carl Joseph was doomed? There had to be another answer, a way for his buddy to accomplish the goal that mattered so much to him.

The one Carl Joseph didn’t think he could reach working alongside Cody.

There was only one place Cody could take all the feelings crowding his heart. Out to the fields with Ace. He hadn’t been on the horse in three days, too caught up with Carl Joseph to find even an hour to ride. Now he straightened and adjusted his baseball cap, saddled the horse, and climbed on.

“Let’s go, Ace.” He blinked back tears. “I need you to run today.”

A warm wind blew over his parents’ ranch, and it carried with it memories of everything that was gone from his life. Everything that would never be again. His days of bull riding, and his time on the rodeo circuit, and Ali. He breathed
deep and peered at the still blue sky. He stopped and let his sadness come to the surface.

He walked Ace out to the trailhead. June evenings in Colorado Springs were always beautiful and this one was no exception. It was eight o’clock and he still had half an hour before sunset. The old horse was still as strong and proud and faithful as he’d been when Ali rode him at one barrel-racing event after another, week after week, season after season. The vision of Ali tearing around the barrels on Ace stayed with him still. The way it would forever.

Cody patted the horse’s neck. “Atta boy, Ace.” He leaned forward and in a sudden rush he shouted, “Giddyup!”

A strong whinnying came from the horse and Ace set off at a trot that quickly became a full run. The pace fit his mood, made him feel that somehow they could outrun the bad news about Carl Joseph, outrun the ways things had gotten worse for his brother in the weeks since he’d been home.

Usually, riding like this made him think only of Ali, but not so today. With the wind in his face and Ace pounding out a timeless rhythm beneath him, Cody could only think of his brother and the teacher who had given his buddy a chance to truly live.

Elle Dalton.

The sun was making its way toward the mountains, casting that surreal final splash of light against the cactus and shrubs that dotted the back acreage of the property. Cody leaned back and let the rays hit his face, as if the warmth might find
its way to the cold dark places of his heart. Gradually, Ace slowed to a walk.

“So, Ace…” He rubbed the horse’s mane. “Carl Joseph, too.”

The horse took a few steps, then stopped and ate from a patch of grass.

Carl Joseph was dying. Not today, but soon. Cody stared as far as he could toward the horizon. Carl Joseph, his buddy. The kid who had adored him since he was old enough to crawl. The one who wanted to be a bull rider so he could be a little more like Cody. Dying from something Cody couldn’t understand, let alone help.

If he was at risk for a stroke, then every day would represent danger to Carl Joseph. Cody settled back in the saddle and drew a full breath. What had Kelley Gaylor said yesterday morning? Cody of all people should know about taking risks.

At least a hundred times since the nightmare of losing Carl Joseph, Cody had played one particular moment over in his mind. Yesterday as he walked into the recreation center, he had been struck by something that hadn’t dawned on him until after Carl Joseph disappeared. The young adults at the club meeting were entirely different from the students at Elle Dalton’s Independent Living Center.

At the club meeting, people with Down Syndrome were given crafts and simple books and time to visit. But they wore blank expressions on their faces and seemed almost despondent. No challenge was presented, no learning. Just a way to pass the time together. Something to set apart Tuesday from
Wednesday. It wasn’t Kelley Gaylor’s fault. The club wasn’t designed to teach independence or give its members a goal.

Cody stroked Ace’s neck again, and the horse lifted his head. There weren’t many horses like Ace. He could sense a person’s feelings, a person’s mood. Now, for instance, when Cody wanted to wrestle with his feelings, Ace was content to graze and take only a few small steps in either direction. And when Ali was sick, when Ace could tell her breathing wasn’t right, he would lift his head high, giving her something to rest against until she caught her breath.

Cody looked at his wedding ring, the simple white gold band he still wore. If Ali were alive today, if she were here with him, well enough to ride across the back field with him, he knew without a doubt what she would say about Carl Joseph’s situation.

Ali and her sister were both born with cystic fibrosis, and for the first decade of their lives they stayed indoors. Their parents bought special air filters and did everything possible to keep allergens and dust from entering. Ali and her sister would sit by their bedroom window and dream of running across the grassy hills and over to the neighbor’s barn and the horses he kept there.

Ali rode horses even after her doctor told her it would take years off her life to do so. She rode because she wanted to live her life, not sit it out. Ali was a dreamer and a doer, and if she had known Carl Joseph longer, she would’ve been supportive of the ILC from the beginning, and she would’ve cheered its purpose.

Even when she knew her death was coming, she lived
every day, every final moment to the fullest. He pictured Elle Dalton and her tireless work with Carl Joseph and the other students. Elle wasn’t so different from Ali, really. They both understood that risk was a necessary part of living.

Cody gave a light nudge with the reins, and Ace started walking back to the barn. One autumn, a year before she died, Ali was walking beside Cody in the mountains when she stopped and stared at a tree whose leaves were brilliant red with just a hint of gold.

“Funny, isn’t it?” She picked up a red one from the ground. “A leaf’s most beautiful days are at the very end, just before it dies.”

He had listened, watching her, memorizing her.

“Sort of like me.” She met his eyes, leaned up, and kissed him. “These are the most beautiful days of all, Cody. The ones I want you to remember.”

The sun was behind the hills now. Streaky pinks and pale blues filled the sky. He’d had enough loss to last him a lifetime, without having something happen to his younger brother. But it would be worse to watch him waste away at home, having never done even the simplest things he dreamed of doing.

Maybe he could move out with Carl Joseph, and the two of them could live together. That might make things a little safer for Carl Joseph. But as soon as the thought crossed his mind, his doubts overshadowed it. He and Carl Joseph were better off with the friendship they used to share. His buddy didn’t want him acting as the teacher. He wanted to do things on his own. Cody would only hold him back.

Cody sucked in another breath of sweet early night air.

Then there was the phone call he’d gotten earlier today. A vice president from the network had phoned. Apparently, Cody’s agent had given a verbal commitment that Cody would return to the circuit.