A Ranger's Love: A Military Erotic Romance (6 page)

We wander about in the park for nearly two hours. The more we walk, the more that special feeling grows. I tuck in tighter to Mike and slip my arm through his. I’m no longer content to just hold his hand. We finally return to the picnic and everything just as we left it, except the breeze has flipped the sheet over.

“Mike,” I say as we settle on the sheet once more. “I have enjoyed today more than any day I can remember. Thank you.”

Mike smiles. “So have I. So, thank you for suggesting it.”

I look at the sheet, unsure of how to ask what I want to know. “What happens after the eight weeks?”

“I will be deployed. Then, I will return to Bragg.”

“That’s what I thought,” I say and I can’t keep the sadness out of my voice.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Mike says. “We’ve still got seven weeks to go. A lot can happen in that length of time.”

I look up and meet his eyes. “I know. But…I’ve only known you a week and I already think I’m going to miss you.”

“Or you may find out you are glad I’m gone.”

I smile softly. “Maybe. But somehow I doubt it.”

“Let’s not worry about what we can’t change and just enjoy the time we have together, okay?” Mike says before he leans over and gives me a tender kiss.

I smile again. “Don’t worry, Mike. I wasn’t trying to tie you down. I’m not trying to get you to commit to anything.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“I know. I’m just all mixed up inside,” I say before I grin at him and lean in closer. “I think all the orgasms you have been giving me have short-circuited my brain,” I say softly.

Mike snickers. “Is that a good thing?”

“It’s a
very
good thing.”

CHAPTER FIVE

We hang out at the park until I announce that we have to leave, especially if Mike wants me to cook for him. He offers to take us out, but I
want
to cook for him.

Back home I throw together a quick stuffed pasta dish. I use some stuffed shells I have in the freezer and make garlic bread. While I get dinner prepared, Mike runs to the local market and returns with a bottle of wine and a movie from the vending machine outside. I don’t know that much about wine and we have to drink it out of regular glasses, but it makes this dinner even more special.

After dinner, Mike helps me clear the table and load the dishwasher before we watch the movie. The movie isn’t that great, but I don’t care. I think so long as I am sitting next to Mike I could watch paint dry and be perfectly happy. We talk softly during the movie, our comfort level with each other growing. I find out that for thirteen days out of the year Mike and I are the same age before he becomes a year older than me again. I tell Mike how I am attending night school, trying to earn my college degree in finance. Mike tells me how he had planned to take over the family farm before his brother’s accident and how much he misses working the land.

The more we talk, the more I find out about Mike and the more I like him. He is a far better man than most. Apparently, he holds no bitter grudge against the way his family has treated him. I don’t believe I could say the same, if our roles were reversed. As we talk, I can’t keep my hands off of him. My need to touch him is undeniable and growing. I finally give up touching him with only my fingers and move to sit in his lap, facing him.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this after this morning, but I want you,” I whisper.

Mike smiles, as he looks into my eyes. “You’re insatiable,” he teases.

“I wasn’t. Until I met you.”

“I’ll try to do a better job then.”

I smile. “That isn’t the problem. I just didn’t know how good it could be. Until now.”

Mike smiles and kisses me lightly on the lips, as his hands explore my back.

“Mike, tell me something honestly. Why did you come up to me Friday?”

“What?” Mike asks in confusion.

“Of the four of us sitting at the table, why did you pick me?”

“Because you were the most beautiful woman there.”

“Bullshit.”

Mike smiles. “No. Really. The other three, they were trying too hard. Yes, the redhead, Beverly was it? She’s got a killer body. The Asian, she should be a model. But they were…I don’t know how to describe it. They were trying too hard. Too much flash. Something. But you, you were just sitting there, serene and comfortable in your own skin. It let your true beauty come through.”

I stare into Mike’s eyes, unsure of what to say. “I think I have just been paid the best compliment of my life,” I finally say into the lengthening silence.

“But it’s true. You are one of those rare people who is beautiful on the outside
and
the inside. Look at what you’ve been through, but you haven’t become bitter. You’re kind, generous, and sympathetic to others.” Mike pauses as he looks into my eyes. “Any man would be lucky to have you.”

I can feel my heart melting at his words. The words every woman longs to hear. I tighten down on my feelings, afraid of being carried away in the rush. “What about you? I could say the same.”

Mike smiles softly. “I’m nothing special. Just a shit-kicker from Arkansas.”

“You’re special to me,” I whisper, as I bend down and bring my lips to his.

***

Mike takes me to bed and we make love, slowly, tenderly, and long into the night. I’m not in love with Mike Hanover, but I want to be. I want him to stay with me, so my feelings for him can grow to consume me. I want him to become everything to me.

I try to open my heart to him, but it is just too soon and I can’t make the leap. I need more time, but our time is so short. Tomorrow, I will have to take him back to the base and who knows when I will see him again.

I lie in his arms and his lips gently touch my shoulder, as we cuddle. For now, I will take these feelings and husband them. I will gently nurse the glowing embers until they become a roaring flame. I have been alone for so long that I desperately want to feel a connection to someone again. I pray that Mike feels the same way.

Sunday morning, I awaken and find Mike missing from my bed. I feel a rush of fear. I’m afraid that he has abandoned me. I find him sitting alone in the living room.

“Mike? What’s wrong?” I ask, as I join him.

“Nothing. I just couldn’t sleep.”

“I’m sorry. Is it something I said? Something I did?”

“No, nothing like that.”

“What then?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, as I kneel down in front of him.

“It’s nothing, Daisy. Don’t worry about it.”

“Talk to me, Mike. Tell me what’s bothering you.”

Mike stares at me a moment. Then, he looks at the floor. “I don’t know why I’m here. I thought I did, but now I’m not so sure.”

I can feel my brow wrinkle in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

Mike looks at me a moment before he speaks. “Friday, I picked you up and I was just looking for a little fun. Nothing more. I wasn’t even necessarily looking to get laid. But now, I’m not sure how I feel anymore. I feel this connection to you. You’re more than just a quick fuck; but, that’s impossible. I’ve just met you. And worse, in just a few weeks, I’ll be gone.” Mike pauses, his face troubled. “I don’t understand what is going on here. I like you, Daisy. I really do. You’re a sweet girl, but it’s only been a week!”

I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. I understand exactly how he feels. “Are you saying you love me?”

“No. At least, I don’t think so. I don’t know! That’s the problem. I don’t know what I feel!”

“Then, don’t worry about it,” I say. “Let your heart tell you what to do. You’re going back to the base today. That will give us some distance. Give you a chance to clear your head. If in a day or so you want to call me, and then call me. Anytime, day or night, call me. If you don’t want to call me, if you don’t want to see me again, I will understand.” I can feel a lump forming in my throat, as I speak those last words, but they have to be said. What is that old saying?
If you love someone set them free, if they don’t return, they were never yours.
“But know that I
want
you to call me and I
want
to see you again.”

I see Mike think about what I’ve said. I’ve given him his out, but I pray he won’t take it. “Okay,” he says softly. “But if I wake you up in the middle of the night, you can’t bitch at me. Deal?”

“Deal,” I say with a smile. “Come back to bed with me?” If this is the last time I see Mike, I want him to make love to me one more time before he is gone. And he does.

CHAPTER SIX

“Beverly, can I talk to you?” I ask, sticking my head into her office Monday afternoon.

“Sure, Daisy. Come on in.”

I close the door so it is only open a crack and sit down in one of her office chairs.

“I understand you had quite a weekend,” Beverly says with a grin.

“Not bad,” I say. I can’t keep the smile off my face to save my life.

“Good for you. Every girl needs her toes curled now and then.”

“Yeah…about that. I need some advice.”

“I find that taking charge during the fucking does it for me,” Beverly says with a wicked grin.

I snicker. “Not that!”

“Oh? What then?” Beverly asks, as she sets her face in wide-eyed innocence.

“It’s Mike. Do you think it’s possible to fall in love in just a week?”

“Love?” Beverly asks in surprise. “You’re not serious!”

“I am. I don’t mean love, like ‘Oh, I can’t live without him!’ I just mean…I don’t know what I mean.”

“Damn, girl. He must have curled more than just your toes. Are you seriously telling me you have fallen in love?”

“No. Not really. But, I feel something for him. I think he must be feeling something for me, too. We talked about it Sunday morning and he’s just as confused as I am.”

Beverly looks at me then becomes more serious. “I always thought that whole love at first sight stuff was just fantasy bullshit. But who knows, maybe it’s true.”

“The thing is I don’t think I love him and I don’t think he loves me. But…that’s the problem. I don’t know what I think. I want to be with him, but at the same time I don’t feel like I love him. Not really. Like you said, it’s only been a week.”

Beverly leans back in her chair and swivels it side to side like she does when she is thinking. “You know what I think?”

“What?”

“I think you have the hots for Mike so bad you don’t know what to think.”

“So you think it’s purely physical?”

“I don’t know. You said yourself that he has fucked you every which way but loose.”

I smile. “He has, but it’s more than that. I
know
it’s more than that. Even when we aren’t fucking our brains out, I feel such contentment when he’s around. Friday night, the first time we saw each other in a week, we didn’t even make love. We just held each other until we went to sleep. It was wonderful.”

Beverly squints at me. She looks at me as if she is trying to see inside my head. I wish she could tell me what she sees there because I can’t figure it out for myself. “Maybe you two are falling for each other. I don’t know, but you have six more weeks to figure it out. Just let it happen and don’t worry about it. If Mike is your soul mate, he’ll be there for you. If not, think of all the fucking you are going to get to do. That makes it worth continuing to see him, doesn’t it?”

Beverly has a unique way of cutting through the bullshit. “Yes, I suppose so. What if Mike doesn’t feel the same way?”

“You will still get to do the fucking. At least you will have that. There are no guarantees in this life, sweetheart. It could just as easily turn out that Mike falls for you and you not for him, so enjoy it while you can. What happens…happens. You can’t make yourself fall in love and neither can Mike. If you try, you will only make yourself miserable. So enjoy what he’s doing to you and don’t worry about it.”

I think about what Bev has said. I decide she is spot on with her advice, as I knew she would be. I should just enjoy what time I have with Mike and not worry about what the future holds, at least until I am clear in my feelings. “Thanks, Beverly. I knew I could count on you.”

Beverly smiles at me. “It’s what friends are for. But! If you decide you don’t want him, I get first dibs, okay? He’s a serious honey and I would like a little taste of his sweetness.”

I snicker at Bev’s lunacy. “Deal.”