A Dream for Hannah (30 page)

Thankfully no dreams came, and she woke refreshed. That morning at church, Hannah sat on the church bench facing the line of teenage boys as usual. Jake sat all the way over on the end. To her dismay, Hannah couldn’t keep from looking in Jake’s direction. All her resolve to control her feelings and to obey her parents waved around like a stalk of dry wheat blowing in the wind.

When Jake finally looked at her, the dam broke. She could hide it no longer. Hannah let him see every feeling she had for him. Every desire that her dream had inspired passed from her eyes to his. And she knew it could never be taken back. Jake now knew.

What she expected the next time she looked in his direction, she wasn’t certain. Feelings of guilt rushed over her, but she couldn’t help herself. Jake would now ask her home, of that she was sure. When or how didn’t matter. Hannah also knew her answer would be, “Yes.”

That would involve so many things, confessions to Betty and to her mother topped the list. It would also mean a letter to Sam, or perhaps she would wait and tell him when she got home. The thought of his mouth dropping open in shock and disbelief caused her no joy. Instead her sorrow increased. How could one do something one knew wasn’t right and still be unable to stop it?

Maybe God will help me yet,
Hannah thought. That brightened her spirits a little. He always had before, had He not? Yes, that’s what she would do. She would pray and ask for help. Surely the Almighty God in heaven, who knew so much and could run the whole world, could figure this all out.

But does He have time?
The thought startled her. Hannah had no idea what the answer was.
Suppose He doesn’t and I’m on my own?
Panic struck her, and she prayed all the more for God to help her—somehow.

Around her, the church service continued. Bishop John had the main sermon, and Hannah tried to focus her attention. The desire to look at Jake was somehow gone now that she knew he knew.

Whether or not Jake paid her any attention, she felt no desire to know. It was only a matter of time now when she would say yes. Beyond that the world looked far more fearful than she would ever have thought possible. Her future would have to rest with what God would do for her.

When there was no sign of Jake after the service, peace still stayed with her. God would surely supply help in some way.

At his cabin and surrounded by the presence of the Cabinet Mountains, Jake went through his plans. His time to leave was approaching, but the looming question was what to do about Hannah? She cared for him—a lot—he now knew for certain.

But what could he do about it? Could he ask Hannah for a relationship? He wasn’t sure. For all his efforts to the contrary, there remained a residue of anger for what Eliza had done to his emotions. No doubt by now, she and his cousin were even talking of marriage. His cousin was now the one who looked into the blue eyes that Jake had once thought he would spend a lifetime gazing into. The two of them would marry and live out their happiness right in front of him.

No, his pain was not as sharp as it once was. Likely Hannah was responsible for that. She had given him a completely new vision of what a girl could be, and he admitted that he liked that vision better.

Jake started getting some of his things together, but he wouldn’t pack until Thursday of the next week. There was little to pack, and most of his things could be easily thrown into his duffel bag. On Friday he would hitch a ride down to town for his final paycheck.

That left the question of whether he should stay at the Nisley’s for one more weekend or return home right away. The Nisleys would think nothing of his early departure, and his parents would be glad to see him.

Jake decided without too much thought that he would go back to church for one more weekend, and he would ask Hannah about their new relationship. That thought brought a smile to his face. How wonderful God was, and His ways were truly mysterious. Here he had thought the world had ended when Eliza betrayed him, but, instead, it had just begun in a completely fresh and new way.

Visions of a letter writing relationship with Hannah and perhaps visits to her community arose in Jake’s mind. Suddenly he remembered that he wasn’t quite certain where she lived. He knew she grew up somewhere in Indiana, but the Indiana Amish community was vast. He would have to ask her this along with the many other things that he was now curious about.

With the matter decided, he squared his shoulders, walked out to highway 2, and raised his thumb to hitch a ride. The second car pulled over, and twenty minutes later, he stood beneath the sign with the words “Horse Rides” printed above the phrase “Will Take Care of Children” in smaller letters.

Twenty-seven

From her seat in the living room, Hannah saw Jake arrive. There had been no riders all day except for one at eleven. Now that the Saturday housework was caught up, she and Betty were resting for a moment and savoring their last few hours together. Sunday would be the baptism, and Monday morning would find Hannah on the Greyhound bus to Indiana.

“It’s Jake,” Hannah said, startling Betty who had her back to the window.

“I was wondering if he’d stop by,” Betty said dryly. “It’s his last weekend also, isn’t it?”

“Yes. He probably wants to ride Prince for one last time,” Hannah said. She avoided Betty’s eyes. Whatever miracle the Lord planned to do, He needed to do it fast.

“Let him get Prince by himself,” Betty told her. “He’s capable.”

“I should be out there,” Hannah insisted. “It’s the last weekend.”

Betty shrugged but didn’t look very happy. “I guess it can do no harm now.”

Hannah was out the door in a flash, much too fast she knew, but she couldn’t help herself.

“Hi,” Hannah said. Jake was standing by the barn door as if waiting for her.

“Hi.” Jake turned and met her eyes. They were as warm and soft as Hannah had ever seen them.

Hannah felt her insides soften and looked quickly at the ground. Her guess had been right. He was going to ask her before he left. Wasn’t that why he was here? The confirmation came quickly.

“You want to ride with me?” Jake asked, his smile steady.

She nodded, glancing quickly up at him before she went to get the horses.

“I’ll saddle both horses.” Jake’s voice stopped her.

“I can do at least one of them,” Hannah protested.

Jake smiled but shook his head. He then took her hand off of the saddle and let it drop gently. She blushed, feeling awkward and bumbling as she stood there doing nothing. And yet, she enjoyed this moment. She was delighted to watch Jake swing the saddles into position, see the strength of his arms when he tightened the stirrups, and glimpse his smile when he noticed her watching him.

Later would come the guilty feelings, Hannah reasoned. They would just have to come because it was simply out of her power to do anything about it.

They mounted the horses and rode up the trail. Hannah turned and noticed without surprise that Betty was watching from the kitchen door.

When they reached the river, Jake turned to her. “One last good gallop for the summer?” he asked.

Hannah nodded and her heart swelled with emotion. What a boy he was—so alive and full of life! She bent slightly forward over her saddle and made ready to follow his lead. He laughed out loud as he urged Prince forward. The sound of his laughter was so musical and manly all at the same time that she could hardly believe such a sound existed.

Together they raced along the river plain, their horses’ hooves beating in rhythm. The mountains filled Hannah’s vision as the wind stung her eyes. It was all a little too much, and she was afraid there really would be a flow of tears, but somehow she managed to control her emotions.

Jake pulled Prince up and threw his head back in sheer joy. “Whee! That was something. I sure will miss it.”

Hannah stopped Mandy beside him but didn’t say anything. The moment had come, she was sure. Beside her, Jake sat on Prince, looking off into the distance as if considering the deeper things of life.

Hannah was just ready to say something to break into his thoughts when they both heard an unearthly piercing sound from the woods just to the west of them. Both horses reared and neighed in panic, their nostrils flaring in fear. Jake kept his mount, but Hannah slid off backward. She managed to use the saddle and Mandy’s haunch to keep herself upright before hitting the ground and falling.

Jake yelled in anger when Hannah hit the ground. He waved his arms at the source of the awful sound—a large mountain lion that now stood in plain view in front of them. Jake tried to move Prince toward it but had to dismount when Prince jerked his head violently back and forth in refusal. He grabbed Mandy’s reins and held both in one hand.

Reaching down, Jake found the rock he wanted and hurled it in the direction of the cat. The animal hissed as the stone flew past and into the woods. It then backed off a few paces, turned, and then vanished as suddenly as it had appeared.

With the horses in tow, Jake went to where Hannah still lay on the ground. “Are you hurt?” he asked.

She moved what body parts she could feel and then slowly rose to her feet. “Everything works,” she commented without much confidence.

“There’s blood on your foot,” he said.

Hannah quickly found the spot just above the ankle where a small gash had been cut. “I probably cut it on a stone,” she said.

“It needs to be looked at,” Jake said. “It needs to be disinfected if nothing else.”

Hannah nodded in agreement, dazed.

“Can you ride?” Jake asked.

“I think so,” she said as she balanced herself against Mandy. The climb onto the saddle proved no problem, and they were soon on their way. They rode in silence all the way down the riverbank and then toward the house. Betty saw them coming. She noticed something amiss, raced out of the house, and met them halfway across the lawn. “What happened? Are you hurt?” She held on to Mandy’s reins, her other hand on Hannah’s leg.

“It was a mountain lion,” Jake said. “It screamed at us, and the horses reared. Mandy threw Hannah off.”

“Are you hurt?” Betty repeated, noticing the blood. “Come down off that horse right away so I can check.”

“I think it’s just a little scratch on my foot,” Hannah volunteered.

“Let’s look at your foot, then. Come down, and we can go into the house.”

Hannah complied, swung her good leg across, and slowly slid off the saddle.

“I’ll put the horses away and then check on her,” Jake said. “I think I know where things go.”

Betty nodded. “I’ll tell Steve about this tonight,” she said on the way into the house with Hannah in tow. “He’ll get the game warden on this right away. We can’t allow a big cat to wander around here.”

Hannah didn’t pay much attention to Betty’s fussing about her foot. Her mind was on Jake and the interruption. How could Jake possibly restart the conversation now that Betty was present? Once inside, Betty grabbed the first aid packet and led Hannah upstairs. After she was certain Hannah could move all her limbs without pain, Betty concluded there really was nothing more serious than the cut on Hannah’s leg. With that bandaged up, Betty went back downstairs, leaving Hannah to change.

Hannah heard Jake come in and the low murmur of voices. She rushed to finish changing, afraid that Betty might ask Jake to leave and let her rest or something. The least she could do, Hannah figured, was walk him to the barn. Perhaps away from the house, they could pick up where they left off.

Before she was done, the downstairs front door slammed sharply. Hannah couldn’t see across the yard from her window, and so she tiptoed down the hall to look through the front bedroom window. Jake was walking purposefully across the yard without a backward glance. He soon turned to walk down the road. Betty had chased him off. Hannah sighed. Perhaps tomorrow they could patch things up. She no longer cared what people thought.

Hannah found Betty on the living room couch.

“So Jake left?” she asked.

“Yes. I just did what needed to be done,” Betty said.