50 Great Lessons from Life (4 page)

The Captain spent much time on the bridge.

He knew that he had good people in charge of all areas of the ship.

He had confidence in his people. He also delegated well.

He knew every member of the crew and he made each one feel important and valued.

They, in turn, respected him and trusted him.

He always gave credit for a successful voyage to his crew and praised them a lot.

Those more senior in the Group did not see him as a threat and those reporting to him loved working for him.

The atmosphere on the ship was always positive and the owners, passengers and the crew all benefitted from this.

When he was made CEO of the Group nobody, apart from himself, was surprised.

In his new role, he made sure that all who reported to him were better than him in their own particular area of expertise and he gave credit for success to both the Board and the staff.

It served him well and it served the organisation well.

The boy who cried “Wolf” is an example.

One day, as he ran through the village crying “Wolf”, the wolf really was there.

But, because of the many times it wasn't, nobody believed him.

He had lost credibility.

Tell it as you see it – don't exaggerate.

If you exaggerate, you could lose credibility and it might be impossible to regain it.

Communication with any part of the world is almost instantaneous.

Mobile phones and e-mails have changed everything.

Mobile phones have loud speakers, and emails can be forwarded immediately at the press of a button.

When speaking, assume many are listening

When writing, assume many will read.

Trust few.

We live in a litigious world and lawyers make much money as they protect their clients' interests.

Assume that whatever you say and write one day will be put to you in a court of law.

So be careful of what you say and write.

It is important to remember that bad news sells better than good news.

It may be a sad reflection on humanity – but that is the fact.

Those who seek publicity are often insecure.

They need to be recognised and to feel important.

They love to be photographed and written about.

They crave attention, and can't get enough of it.

Newspapers and television have made many people better known – in some instances ‘famous,' and even ‘heroes'.

The media have no problem in turning on the same people, when things go wrong.

You often see this in the case of footballers or politicians or show business people when there are difficulties in their private lives.

Stay out of the newspapers and off the television.

When someone close to you dies, you feel very sad and the loss is hard to take.

But, as time goes by, you accept and you cope.

Time heals.

Similarly, many problems simply fade away as the people involved move on.

When they do, it is wise to leave them alone.

Re-opening sensitive issues can lead who knows where.

Family arguments at Christmas are an example.

Try to leave sensitive issues alone.

Let time heal – even if it takes a long time.

Muhammed Ali, who was one of the world's greatest boxers faced George Foreman in a famous world heavyweight championship fight in Kinshasa.

Foreman was bigger than Ali and most people expected him to win.

Ali seemed unable to do anything but defend. He absorbed many heavy punches.

Foreman, in exasperation, punched himself out.

Then Ali beat an exhausted opponent.

Don't engage with a big adversary until you must, no matter how great the temptation might be.

Know your strengths and be confident.

Try to avoid a battle.

But, if you must fight, fight sensibly.

Learn the lesson that Muhammed Ali taught George Foreman and the rest of the world: let a big opponent punch himself out.

One day, a manager was asked to investigate an investment.

He completed his work and handed a long report to his CEO.

Without looking at it, the CEO asked “Do we have a problem?”.

The manager's response was “No”.

“Why not just say that?” asked the CEO, returning the report.

As the manager was leaving, looking both pleased and puzzled, his boss said, “You have good judgement and you work hard. Take the time to write a short report”.

George Bernard Shaw once apologised to a friend saying, “I wrote you a long letter, because I hadn't time to write you a short one”.

It is easy to write a long letter, or report or e-mail.

It is more difficult to write short ones – and so they are not common.

When you write something, ask yourself “What does it boil down to?”.

Then, just write what it boils down to.

Short letters are more effective and more appreciated.

Make the effort.

It might take longer but it is more likely to get the desired result.

The Finance Director, who attended many meetings and read many reports, sent this email to the CEO and Chairman:

“If next week's meeting uses the agenda and the papers that have been circulated, in my opinion, it won't be good.

It will take too much time.

The Minutes will be queried and, after much discussion, a number of minor amendments will be agreed.

Long reports will be considered and those who prepared them congratulated, even though one or two pages on the topic would have been adequate.

Presentations will be long and full of jargon and some people won't understand them but will be afraid to ask questions.

Some will nod to convey an understanding of the IT presentation, when in fact they won't understand it.

Discussions on minor matters will occupy much time.

We won't focus enough on big and basic issues, such as sales and profits.

As there are no significant decisions to be taken, would you consider using this email as the agenda?”

The CEO and the Chairman agreed to this.

There are now fewer meetings, and reports and presentations are short – and there is a better focus on big and basic issues.

The Finance Director did himself, his colleagues and his company a good service.

The Chairman too realised that he could help to make meetings better by talking less and by allowing others to talk less, particularly on minor matters.

A great meeting requires much thought.

Your health will improve when you eliminate worry and deal with your challenges.

If you control your weight, you will give it a further boost.

The key to controlling weight is a good breakfast.

It is like putting petrol in a car before the start of the journey.

Start the day well; have a light lunch and something small in the evening.

While exercise is good for your health, it takes a lot to burn even 100 calories.

Eliminate alcohol, cakes, sweets and biscuits.

Eat only small amounts of bread, potatoes and pasta.

Eat fruit and vegetables.

Drink water.

Walk for at least 30 minutes each day.

Only eat when hungry.

You are breathing in a slow and shallow way through your nose and you are making each moment the best.

All the goodness is flowing in to your system.

You have good health.

You have a good sense of humour.

You have eliminated worry.

All the poison has gone from your system.

You deal well with tough situations, because your head is clear and you are positive and you are attracting good solutions.

You are kind.

You are confident.

You move at a gentle pace.

This is a good self-image. You have self-belief.

Being well-dressed, well-groomed and able to speak in public will add to your confidence.

Keeping your weight in check will help also.

You are in control.

Even though you will never really know someone, people are much more themselves over a meal. They feel more relaxed.

At a desk, they are playing a role. A desk is a barrier.

As you dine, ask your guest to talk about themselves.

Listen, listen, listen!

Observe their table manners and see whether they make their order simple or a production?

Are they at ease? How do they treat the waiter?

Ask them to order the wine.

See whether they show respect for their fellow diners.

How do they react to noise and mistakes?

Are they keen to impress? Are they insecure?

Can they make a decision? Can they come to a conclusion?

Are they a details person or a ‘big picture' person?

Have they a sense of humour? Would they be a good colleague?

You can learn so much about a person over a meal!

Everyone has greater strengths, weaknesses and problems than you realise.

While you will never really know someone, you will get a better understanding by meeting them in their home, which allows you to see how they live and how their spouse, their children and the dog react to them.

Observe them, too, as they play sport.

How do they react when they play well?

How do they react when they play badly?

Are they conservative? Or do they play in a ‘crazy' way?

Do they indulge in gamesmanship? Do they make excuses?

Try to meet a person in a number of different settings.

Take time in making your assessment but realise that, despite your best efforts, you are wrong.

You will never have the full picture.

A friend, who was Chairman of one of Ireland's largest legal firms, told me that many clients, whom he had helped when they were in great difficulty, would later cross the street to avoid meeting him.

He believed that meeting him would have reminded them of a time that they would rather forget.

Should this happen to you, don't be hurt. Understand.

The joy that you get when helping people, in times of great difficulty for them, will be great.

Make it part of the way you live.

Do it because it is good to help another human being when he is down.

It was a Friday afternoon in the boardroom of a bank and everyone was looking forward to the weekend.

The Credit Manager presented the last loan application of the day to the Credit Committee and it was approved.

Rather than wishing the Chairman a nice week-end and leaving, he made small talk.

He said that he had expected to be questioned more on the UK division of his client's company, as it had been going through a tough time.

The Chairman, having heard that, called for silence and reconvened the meeting.

After discussing the UK division in some depth, the loan was declined.

Once something good happens and you are pleased, say little.

Be grateful, but don't get carried away.

If you get something that you want, just say “Thank you”.

Notice how often when a football team scores a goal and then celebrates, the players lose concentration and concede a goal almost immediately.

Hold your celebration until you are off-stage.

In times of success, know that the potential for an ‘own goal' is high.

As you breathe well and decide to make each moment the best, you will fill your system with goodness and your head will be clear.

With a clear head and a positive attitude, you will be creative and you will attract many positives.

Solutions to your challenges will emerge.

Be sure to ‘smell the roses'.

Be kind!

Listen!

Believe in yourself!

Keep your ‘big balance sheet of life' strong.

Be grateful for the life you have.

Enjoy it!

Tony Spollen was educated by the Jesuits at Gonzaga College in Dublin, Ireland and later at the Institute of Chartered Accountants.

Aged 23, he was the first Financial Controller of AIIB (the merchant bank that the AIB Group, Ireland's largest bank, established in 1969 in conjunction with Hambros Bank, the Toronto Dominion Bank and Irish Life Assurance Company).

In 1986, he became Head of Internal Audit for the AIB Group.

Five years later, he left the banking sector to become an internal audit consultant, advising amongst others the European Economic & Social Committee.

He is the author of
Corporate Fraud – The Danger from Within
(Oak Tree Press, 1997 - and re-issued as an ebook in 2013).

He has served on the Boards of five State-owned organisations.

Today, he and his business partner, Detta Fanning, advise businesses on building customer numbers.

He lives in Dublin with his wife Gina, and has two daughters (Antonia and Virginia) and two sons (Garfield and Davin).

His interests are sport and reading.