50 Great Lessons from Life

50 Great Lessons from Life
TONY SPOLLEN

 

 

 

 

 

Published by O
AK
T
REE
P
RESS
, 19 Rutland Street, Cork, Ireland

www.oaktreepress.com

© 2013 Tony Spollen

A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library.

ISBN 978 1 78119 073 9 (Hardback)

ISBN 978 1 78119 074 6 (ePub)

ISBN 978 1 78119 075 3(Kindle)

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording or electronically without written permission of the publisher. Such written permission also must be obtained before any part of this publication is stored in a retrieval system of any nature. Requests for permission should be directed to Oak Tree Press,

19 Rutland Street, Cork, Ireland or
[email protected]
.

CONTENTS

1.
You can feel good immediately

2.
Three priceless assets make you very wealthy

3.
Your health is more valuable than gold

4.
Your mind can make your life great

5.
You can eliminate worry

6.
You can deal with tough challenges

7.
All things pass away

8.
Wish others well – but don't wish to be them

9.
Create a positive atmosphere

10.
Everyone is insecure

11.
You will never really know anyone

12.
Ignore slights

13.
You have no reason to feel sorry for yourself

14.
‘Smell the roses' as often as you can

15.
Forgive all

16.
Be big and generous

17.
Write kind and thoughtful notes

18.
Life is a marathon, not a sprint

19.
Think young and stay young

20.
Whether you win or lose, have fun

21.
Go for it

22.
People need to feel important

23.
Help and encourage

24.
Listen

25.
Silence can be powerful

26.
Create space

27.
Look and act the part

28.
Be relaxed

29.
Quit when you are ahead

30.
‘Home ground' is always an advantage

31.
Learn to speak in public

32.
Communicate in a simple and clear way

33.
Don't mistake kindness for weakness

34.
Don't be the person to give bad news

35.
Be slow to confide

36.
Pick the right people and delegate

37.
If you exaggerate, you may lose credibility

38.
Be careful of what you say and write

39.
Avoid publicity

40.
When time heals, don't re-open old wounds

41.
Let a big opponent punch himself out

42.
Learn to write a short letter

43.
Great meetings don't happen by chance

44.
Control your weight

45.
Self-image and self-belief are important

46.
You learn more over a meal than over a desk

47.
Assess people on their ‘home ground'

48.
If you help, you may be ignored later – but keep helping

49.
In times of success, beware an ‘own goal'

50.
Thoughts as you begin the day

FOREWORD

In this hectic world that we live in, we are all bombarded with suggestions on how to improve one's life. Some are aspirational, some are fanciful, some are basic and mostly, they are one size fits all. One thing's for sure, there are a myriad of lessons to live one's life – and trying to decipher them is difficult. That's why Tony's book is so special – he takes it all and lays it out in such an easy manner. It is beautiful in its simplicity, its brevity and its verity.

I have had the privilege of knowing Tony for many years and this book is testimony to his straightforward, sensible and warm, embracing attitude to life. His generosity in sharing his thoughts is a gift that we can all enjoy. And importantly, we can and should pass it down through the generations as what he writes is timeless. I hope that you enjoy reading
50 Great Lessons from Life
as much as my family and I did.

Tony O'Reilly Jnr.

Dublin

May 2013

INTRODUCTION

At the age of 65, it seemed a good time to write some lessons from my life's experiences that could be of help to my four children.

Many ideas came to mind and the number of lessons grew.

So too did the time it took to make them short.

One year later, there were 50.

That's how this book came into being.

My sincere wish is that it will help you to improve your life.

Tony Spollen

Dublin

May 2013

1
You can feel good immediately

A friend of mine, who was a great public speaker, was about to address a large audience in Dublin.

The room was full and very noisy.

However, as soon as he stood at the podium, there was silence.

He had that ability to control the room and to create a sense of occasion.

As he faced the audience, he was breathing in a slow and shallow way through his nose. This kept him calm. It was a technique he had learnt many years ago.

For an hour, they were spellbound.

When the clapping finally stopped, he thanked them and walked to the car park.

Once there, however, his worries surfaced.

One negative thought came into his head and this attracted another and then another. He felt so down.

Then something amazing happened.

Shortly after leaving the car park, he stopped at a traffic light to buy a newspaper and asked the elderly newspaper seller, who was standing in the rain, how he was.

“Have never been better. I have my health. What more do I need?” was his reply.

This was from someone with few material possessions, who was getting wet and earning very little and yet was really happy.

And each day, as my friend bought his newspaper, the newspaper seller's response was always the same: “Couldn't be better”.

My friend realised then that he could be happy again.

The newspaper seller taught him that, if you have your health and decide to make each moment the best, you will feel good immediately.

That simple lesson changed his life.

2
Three priceless assets make you very wealthy

You are a very wealthy person.

You may not feel that way, particularly in these times of recession.

Perhaps that's because you have always thought of wealth in terms of material possessions.

But money, property and investments are the small part of wealth.

Your real wealth is in your ‘big balance sheet of life'.

That ‘big balance sheet' holds your three priceless assets:

  • Your ability to make each moment the best;
  • Your health;
  • Your sense of humour.

The ‘little balance sheet' holds your material possessions:

  • Money;
  • Property;
  • Investments.

Your big balance sheet has made you very wealthy.

Keep it strong and you will have almost everything that you need.

3
Your health is more valuable than gold

It was a Sunday evening when the phone rang.

The caller sounded energetic and enthusiastic and full of life – as he always did.

But he had huge pressures.

He was suffering from cancer.

“How do you see the banking situation?” he asked.

We had a long discussion, and he thanked me for my thoughts.

Within a few months, he was dead.

Brian Lenihan was brilliant, hard-working, pleasant and had a great sense of humour.

Even though his background was in law, he became Ireland's Minister for Finance at a time of enormous economic problems, both at home and abroad.

He faced his illness with courage.

He tried to stay strong.

Following chemotherapy, he would go to the Irish Parliament to answer questions, asking his political opponents to ignore his medical condition.

It is hard to be strong when your health suffers.

With good health, you have almost everything.

With poor health, life is tough.

4
Your mind can make your life great

Breathe in a slow and shallow way through your nose. This technique will help you to be calm in times of great challenge.

Then, decide to make each moment the best.

Soon, all negative thoughts will leave your mind.

It will be like poison draining from your system.

Your mind then will be clear and your energy will return.

At times in the past, it may have seemed that everything was going wrong for you at the same time.

This was because one negative thought entered your mind and attracted more negatives – and soon you were on overload.

When this happens, scenarios with bad endings start to play out in your mind and you become worried.

Those negative thoughts and worries are like poison.

They damage your health.

You can stop both negative thoughts and worry immediately by getting your breathing right and by deciding to make each moment the best.

Your mind can make your life great.

Be sure that it does.

5
You can eliminate worry

There is nothing to be said for worry.

And most of the things that people worry about never come to pass.

Worry has ruined and continues to ruin the lives of many people all over the world.

See it as poison.

Don't let it near you.

It is a danger to your health.

Many people spend much time worrying and suffer greatly.

As you breathe in a slow and shallow way though your nose and make each moment the best, you fill your system with goodness.

Then there is no room for worry.

When you make each moment the best, you will eliminate worry forever.

6
You can deal with tough challenges

When you eliminate worry and negative thoughts from your mind, create space.

Do nothing for a while.

Enjoy the feeling of badness draining from your system.

Flood your mind with goodness as you breathe well and make each moment the best.

While you will still have challenges, when you feel good, your thinking will be clear and you will be able to deal with them.

Your positive attitude will attract more positives.

Solutions will begin to emerge.

Trust in yourself.

Each one of us feels that our challenges are big.

But, in the overall scheme of things, they are tiny.

Five years ago, Simon Brown, a soldier with the British army in Iraq, was badly injured.

He lost the sight in one eye and has very limited vision in the other.

At first, he felt sorry for himself. But then he thought about his comrades who had died.

He returned to study and is now a teacher.

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