18 Truths (43 page)
“No, your situations are quite unusual,” Riel stated casually. “I can only recall five other times that this has happened in the last six thousand years or so.”
Nate seemed to let this truth settle into him before opening his mouth again. “So God gives a free pass once every millennia or something?”
Riel laughed, a sound reminiscent of church bells chiming; rich, complex, loud, and rhythmic. But there was no trace of humor in the gesture. “I do not make the mistake of deciphering God’s actions. He is not a secret code that can be translated. But remember, the fact that you two chose to become spirit guides instead of entering Heaven was an anomaly in our system to begin with.”
I took a deep breath and pushed aside my guilt over stealing the Alpha File because I still wanted clarification while I could have it. “But Nate and Conner’s accidents will still happen?”
He held out his palm, and I slid my free hand in his. “Yes. But their outcomes will be different. You will all live, though I can only pray you don’t make the same mistakes twice. All your memories of this past year will be wiped clean upon re-entry to Earth. So Nate, I’m afraid you won’t have that full knowledge of God to help you out, although you will have a side effect.” He leaned forward, releasing my hand to give Nate a pat on his back. “I do hope you’ll put your supernatural talent to good use. I know I would.”
“What is it?”
“You’ll see soon enough.”
Despite my overwhelming happiness about being sent to Earth for a second chance, the thought of Satan’s son roaming around freely sent waves of terror through me. “What about Sam? Won’t he be out to get me?”
“Yes, though demons have always roamed the Earth, out to get people. If you stay on the straight and narrow path, then you’ll be fine.”
“But I won’t remember any of my life lessons… I’ll be starting over from day one?”
Riel nodded. “A part of your spiritual being will be aware of the journey you’ve taken, but only in the subconscious of your mind.”
I sucked in a deep breath, my eyes watering at the thought of leaving Riel. “Any parting words of wisdom from my angel, then?”
A smile ghosted across his face. “Remember when I asked you who you were?”
I nodded. I knew he had been hijacking my dreams!
“Your name means holy, Olga. Remember, God consecrated you for His purpose. He is giving you a new beginning. Don’t waste a minute of your new life and take nothing for granted. Love yourself, believe in yourself, and fight for yourself; then God will give His faith to you and success will take on a new meaning in all the areas of your life. Nathan”—Nate startled at hearing his full name—“your name means to give. Because you freely gave your love to Olga and Grace, you have been given a second chance at life.” He placed his palm on Nate’s forehead. “Use it wisely. God has given you maturity beyond your years.
“And Conner, not surprisingly, your name means strong willed. God loves you, but He is tired of butting heads with you. Olga’s compassion for you has motivated our Father to allow you to return to Earth with her and Nate.
You
did not earn this second chance at life as they have, but your return demonstrates more clearly the message that none can truly
earn
our place in God’s Kingdom because it is given freely to all who seek it. But He
will
test you as He has done with countless others, to see if you believe that God can help you, to see if you
really
want His help. He will use this lightning strike as a wakeup call, and I pray you answer it before it’s too late.”
I reached out to Conner then and put my hand in his.
He half-closed his eyes. “I hope I answer it, too.”
Riel took a deep breath. “Olga, I feel I owe you an apology before you leave.”
“Me?” I croaked, my throat thick with emotion.
“Yes. I am to blame for the whole mix-up between you and Nate. I should not have told Nate to take on Grace as a solo assignment. I should have had faith in your abilities, but I let my feelings for you cloud my judgment. I was so concentrated in my efforts to keep you from Hell by pushing you away from Nate and Grace that I neglected to realize I almost led you straight there by taking away your sense of purpose. The thought of you going after Conner never occurred to me. Your love for Nate kept you grounded, and I robbed you of that. There is no excuse for what I left you to face on your own. Please know I am deeply sorry for everything. An archangel should, and does, know better.”
I looked down at my hand intertwined with Conner’s. “Riel, we have a saying on Earth. Hindsight is 20/20. Even if you would’ve done things differently, please know I always had my sights on going after Conner. Sometimes you can’t stop people from making bad decisions, no matter what you do.”
Shaking my head, I let go of Conner, in more ways than one. “My mistakes are mine to bear, and mine alone. You must understand that during the year in Limbo, my whole existence was a carefully made list, a fabrication suggested by Dr. Judy as a way of making me put one foot in front of the other toward a path of healing. But once I learned I was dead and realized Conner must be in the Underworld somewhere within my reach, the whole experience seemed pointless. Because I could have Conner again. But I couldn’t, not really, but I had to discover those things on my own. Going to find him by myself was the only
real
thing I’ve done in the past year, and thankfully, God kept me from harm and is delivering me safely home now, where I belong.” I took a long, deep breath. “Please know there’s nothing to apologize for. Your very nature demands that you protect vulnerable souls. You were only trying to do what you thought was best for everyone.”
He stared into my eyes with such an intense gaze, I was certain he could see into the window of my soul. “Olga Gay Worontzoff, I think you’re laboring under the misinterpretation that I would go to such lengths to safeguard everyone I have charge over. Everything I did is because I love you. No matter how inappropriate my feelings were for you, they were there. So don’t try to sugarcoat the scenario my actions created, and please just answer my one question before you leave. Can you accept my apology now that you know the truth?”
Leaning back on my heels, I stared at him darkly in the silence that followed. Finally, I stepped into the space between us and wrapped him in an awkward hug, since his wings were still popped out. Thankfully, he’d dimmed their brightness, but I still closed my eyes as I stroked the curves of his muscular feathers. “Of course. If you were only trying to protect someone you love”—my heart pounded as I repeated back his absurd admission—“then how could I hold that against you, when I broke about every spirit guide law in the book to do the same thing?” I pulled back. “And I hope you’ll still watch over me, even if you’re not my boss anymore.”
“Always,” Riel answered, looking at the three of us. “Now that we’ve said our goodbyes, it’s time to get going. I have an appointment at the Throne after this.”
Conner turned to Nate, a struggle to remain civil clear on his face. “I’d say it was nice to meet you, but—”
“Oh, save it.” Riel scowled at him. “Your paths will cross again soon.”
Nate nodded. “And FYI, I’m not giving up. May the best man win.”
And right then, I knew I had problems. My best friend was in love with me and counted my boyfriend as his enemy. Sam would still be on the loose somewhere on Earth, and I had a feeling he’d move close to Grand Haven so he could torture me for getting him kicked out of the Underworld. Plus, Nate would have some sort of side effect that made even Riel chuckle with delight.
Problems for sure. If being a spirit guide didn’t almost kill me, the drama that lay ahead for my senior year of high school just might. But the thought that I even had a senior year of high school to look forward to made any possible drama seem so beyond
worth it
.
Riel gathered us in his arms and prayed in a tongue I didn’t recognize.
I decided I should end my journey the same way I started, with a prayer. Except this time, I wasn’t ready to die, I was ready to live.
God, thank you for being my companion through everything. So many emotions pulled me in all directions this past year, but even though I strayed off course, You never left me. Help me find my safe harbor in Your grace. Help me to awaken to a bright new day in the comfort of Your love, no matter what lies ahead with the two guys standing next to me. There are so many thoughts running through my head about what I want to do with my life now that I have a second chance, but help me to know everything will turn out okay if You have other plans. After all, You are the protector of my heart and my soul, the One I can always count on for a perfect ending.
Thin tears seeped from the corners of my eyes when I whispered ‘Amen.’ Raising my arms out to the sides, I’d never felt so much peace as I enjoyed the sensation of pure weightlessness and infinite space for a brief moment.
Suddenly, coldness washed over me as rain pelted my skin.
What had I just been worrying about?
A flash caught my eye, and I watched something fly off the sailboat.
“
Conner!”
I took a deep breath, and then dove in, feeling more alive than I ever had before.
I’d like to give thanks to:
First and foremost, Jesus, for my salvation, for transforming my despair into hope, and for giving me the desires of my heart.
My family: My husband, Dan, for inadvertently supplying me with lots of funny one-liners to use in my writing, along with too many pop culture references.To Kaylee, for your invaluable insights into the life of a teenage girl and for simultaneously being my toughest critic and biggest fan.To Ashley, for supplying me with daily fun facts, around the clock laughs, and supersized hugs.Thank you for sacrificing so much (the crazy hours, sharing me with imaginary people, piles of unfinished projects around the house) so my dreams could become reality. Without the three of you by my side, all of this would mean nothing.
The two BEE’s this side of the galaxy, Jessa and Krystal. Jessa, you’re like my own Han Solo, a rogue who doesn’t play by the rules but has my back with any problem, adding humor to any crisis with your quirky and witty ways and often holding me together with duct tape and bubble gum. And Krystal, you’re like my own mixture of Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi whispering sound advice in my ear. Somewhere in the middle, I always find my perfect solution. And to everyone else at Curiosity Quills, I could not have come this far without your dazzling collective know-how.
My own personal Jedi Order, my family and friends, your encouragement and support continually spurs me on. A special shout out to Deana Barnhart, Jenny Keller Ford, and Kelly Seaton, whose insights on the first reading of this book were invaluable.Marisa Cleveland, thanks for being my first writer friend who believed in this series! Also to all the bloggers out there who helped with blog tours, blogfests, giveaways, and reviews. I would be very remiss not to mention the Insecure Writer’s Support Group and Writers Helping Writers specifically. To all of my pastors over the years for preaching messages that helped inspire the heart of this book: God has a plan for our lives. Going through hell is worth it to arrive at the place He has for us.
The teachers, librarians, booksellers, and loyal fans who gave my little series wings to fly. An extra heartfelt thanks goes out to the students and staff at Gulf Middle School for continuing on this journey with me. And to all my students, present and past, you’ve taught me so much more than I’ll ever teach you.
My readers, because you are A*W*E*S*O*M*E! Even though this is a work of fiction, I hope you walked away with at least one truth to carry with you on your own journey.
I wish I could personally thank every person, book, movie, television show, and song that inspired my muse, but to do so would be an act of tree homicide, and that would not be cool. But please know that the voices whispering in the dark corners of my mind are eternally grateful.