150 Movies You Should See Before You Die (51 page)

Answer: C. While photos exist of Lugosi in costume as Jesus, he never played the character on film (though he did appear as Jesus in a 1909 Passion play in Hungary).

For every
Close Encounter of the Third Kind
and
The Day the Earth Stood Still
(original version), there are ten movies like the ones in this chapter. Aliens, according to these movies, are mostly evil, lust after Earth women, and wear really bad costumes — in some cases, so bad that the zipper shows.

PRODUCERS
Michael Herz (executive producer) and Jon Sorensen (producer)

WRITER
Jon Sorensen

DIRECTOR
Jon Sorensen

STARS
Glyn Whiteside (
Michael
) and Francesca Manning (
Alien Mother
)

An alien mother (Manning) on the run with her child takes refuge in a country house where the residents are having a New Year's Eve fancy dress party on the last night of the twentieth century. However, the government agents pursuing her lay siege to the house, and a night of gunfire and gory, psychically induced violence follows. Oh, did I forget to mention the vampires? Yeah, there are also vampires.

Why It Sucks

There is nothing wrong with this movie that a fully developed script wouldn't have fixed. Or maybe just a script. As it stands, nothing in the movie is clear. Is the government chasing the alien mother? Are those vampires in that manor house or are they just dorks in costumes? Why does the alien's powers seem to come and go according to plot dictates? And why does all the dialogue sound like it was ad-libbed? Special-effects guys shouldn't write movies — that's my conclusion.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Actor Award goes to …
Glyn Whiteside for his role as Michael, one of film history's most uninteresting villains, made so both by the weak script and an uninspired performance.

And the Worst Script Award goes to …
Jon Sorensen for getting around to thinking about narrative only after production had wrapped. And don't get me started on the idea of vampires in a movie about alien mothers being chased by gun-toting morons.

They Really Said It!

The Vampires (in unison):
Boo!

Betcha Didn't Know

Jon Sorensen worked in the visual effects departments on such films as
Alien
(1979),
The Dark Crystal
(1982),
Outland
(1981), and
Time Bandits
(1981).

“True” tales of alien abductions and landings didn't become common until the late 1940s and into the 1950s when science fiction became a popular genre.

Trivia Quiz

In what British science fiction classic does technology left behind by a long-extinct alien civilization threaten to destroy London?

A:
Quatermass and the Pit
(1967)

B:
Four-Sided Triangle
(1953)

C:
Doctor Who: Dalek Invasion Earth 2150
(1966)

D:
CQk
(1969)

Answer: A. In
Quatermass and the Pit
, a subway construction crew digs up a Martian device, leaving cranky scientist Bernard Quatermass to save London from it.

PRODUCERS
Charles Band (executive producer) and Keith S. Payson (producer)

WRITERS
Jackson Barr (script) and Charles Band (story)

DIRECTOR
Ted Nicolaou

STARS
Paul Hipp (
Dan O'Dare
), Martha Quinn (
Lisa Cummings
), Michael Huddleston
(Corky
), Aaron Lustig (
Vernon Locknut
), Roumel Reaux (
Flip
Humble
), and Victor Rogers (
Sheriff Hickman
)

A disk jockey known for crazy on-air stunts (Hipp) becomes the unwitting partner of an alien who has come to Earth to abduct beautiful women via radio waves, otherworldly technology, and rock music.

Why It Sucks

The film is driven almost entirely by its wacky script. The actors showed up for work but not much more than that. The director further dilutes the film's entertainment value by including three full-length songs, wasting entirely too much running time on second-rate filler.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Director Award goes to …
Ted Nicolaou for not having the sense to realize that three full-length music videos were overkill even for a film about aliens weaponizing rock 'n' roll. We want alien abduction action, not MTV!
And the Worst Actress Award goes to …
Martha Quinn, who, through her portrayal of frustrated TV reporter Lisa Cummings proved that as an actress she made a darn good VJ. She comes across as so shrill and obnoxious that you'll be praying for the aliens to zap her or infect her with their lethal variant of athlete's foot.

They Really Said It!

Dan O'Dare
: Ladies and gentlemen, I know this sounds crazy, but the Super Station studios have been taken over by creatures from another planet.

Betcha Didn't Know

Martha Quinn was one of the original five VJs when MTV debuted in 1981. She hosted programs on the channel for the next decade.

When Charles Band used clips from this film in the pseudosequel
Dollman vs. Demonic Toys
, he rewrote the ending using dubbing, so that the abducted nurse rather than the high-school student remained miniaturized.

Trivia Quiz

What actor/director directed and narrated a radio play about an alien invasion that caused panic in U. S. towns when it was broadcast in 1938?

A: Orson Welles

B: Alfred Hitchcock

C: Lowell Sherman

D: Leonard Nimoy

Answer: A. Orson Welles's Halloween eve broadcast on CBS Radio's Mercury Theater created national hysteria. In Concrete, WA, a power outage knocked out electricity and phone service just after Welles had described the Martian attack. As many as 1.7 million people fled their homes or took up arms during the panic.

PRODUCERS
Paul Mason and Helen Sarlui-Tucker (executive producers), Charles Chiodo, Edward Chiodo, and Stephen Chiodo (producers)

WRITERS
Charles Chiodo, Edward Chiodo, and Stephen Chiodo