Yesterday's Heroes (Consortium of Chaos Book 1) (40 page)

The woman cut him off.  “It’s
Doctor
Wilson, actually.”

The man nodded.  “My apologies…
DOCTOR
Wilson will supervise and confirm that it will, of course, NOT interfere with
any of our corporation’s other debts, liabilities and obligations.  Are you
satisfied with that outcome, Mr. O’Probrian?”

Cynic nodded, not bothering to look
up from his page, and reading his lines like he was a first grader giving a
book report in front of the class and hadn’t memorized it.  “Yes.  Now, I am…” 
He turned the page. “…satisfied that my demand for action has been acted upon. 
Mr. O’Probrian then sits down.”  He sat back down. “Thank you, Mr. Chairman. 
Fabricator: I can only pray that this…”

Wyatt did his best to ignore the
other man, and looked very regretful as he talked right over him.  “I can only
pray that this makes up for any trouble and sleepless nights we may have caused
the investors.”  He shook his head in pity.  “Those poor people.”  He
brightened, obviously going off script.  “Wait, they’re not so poor
now
are they?  Hell, they’re all MILLIONAIRES!  They have no reason to complain at
us; they have all of Howard’s money!”

Howard sank down into his chair in
horror at realizing he was now utterly broke. 

Wyatt banged his gavel.  “Additionally,
I have taken the liberty of notifying the SEC of the one hundred and three
different
violations of Federal and state law I have found in Mr. Lamont’s records, on
everything from insider stock trading to embezzlement.”  He gestured to the
back of the room.  “Can you let them in please, Harlot?”

Harlot threw open the door to the
room and two men in suits stormed up to the stage and grabbed Architect.  He
struggled to free himself for a moment, but then his face fell as the handcuffs
were placed on his wrists, and he started to be escorted from the stage.

Wyatt called after them.  “Hold on
a minute, officers…”  He hurried around the table and stood in front of the
prisoner.  “Here you go, Howard.  You forgot to get one of these.  Missed you
at the service, but I’m sure you were there…
in spirit.
”  He pulled out a
small square of paper and attached it to Architect’s metal chest with a
magnet.  “Have fun in SeaCastle Asylum, buddy.”

Howard was all but dragged from the
scene.  “The city won’t stand for this!  They hate you!”

Librarian impassively watched as he
was escorted out.  “
Oderint dum metuant
.”

Oz pursed his lips.  He was pretty
sure that meant something like; “
Let them hate, so long as they fear
.” 
Did she really just quote
Caligula? 
That was probably a bad sign about
the direction his new bosses were planning on taking the organization.

She crossed out something else in
her paperwork as if ticking off points on her copy of the agenda.  “Incidentally,
the Freedom Squad’s legal department is well aware of your newfound economic
hardships, and the difficulties it may present for your case.  We are not without
compassion, and given the close relationship you have had with our organization
in the past, know that we extend to you and your public defender our
best
wishes
at trial.”

“
Good luck, Howard
.”  The
Consortium members all chorused at once with fake enthusiasm.  Several waved
goodbye.

Wyatt returned to his place at the
table.  “Now then, time to elect a NEW board for the Freedom Squad.”  He paused
in consideration.  “I nominate Mr. O’Probrian, Mr. Voldar, Mr. Skinner and Mr.
Thatch for places on the board, and Ms. Angela R. Ceigh for president.  I
confer to them Mr. Lemont’s stock, which reverted to the board upon his
departure from our organization in accordance with the agreement he signed at
the August 23
^rd
meeting, concerning members of the board who are
terminated with cause, as well as the stock formally belonging to the other
recently terminated Board members.  All in favor?”  He raised his hand.  “Aye,
for both my shares and Mr. Skinner’s.”

At the back of the room, Nigel
stood again.  He was silent for a moment, and then Poacher nudged him.  The
smaller man gasped as the giant loomed over him.  “
I vote aye
! 
I
vote AYE!  AYE!”

Wyatt smiled.  “Excellent.  The
motion carries and the board is reformed.”

Cynic, Poacher, Taxidermist,
Blackguard and Harlot filed up onto the stage and took their seats.

Wyatt frowned.  “Wait…we’ll need
one more…”  He pointed at Tyrant.  “Mr. Victavious, can you come up here,
please?”

Tyrant swept towards the stage with
imperial grace and prepared to sit down in the last vacant chair, but Wyatt
spoke again and stopped him.  “I nominate
Princess Rayn
of the Fairy
Folk of the Meadow
as an outside director on our board.”

Tyrant glared at him dangerously;
green energy glowing from his clenched fists…but he removed an object from his
belt, and slammed it down on the conference table in front of the final chair. 
He stormed off again, and the small ball of light inside whatever the hell that
thing was, danced around as if taunting him. 

The motion carried unanimously and
the ball of light became a director of the organization.

By this time, the rest of the room
was FURIOUS.  Half the room immediately stormed out in protest, and the other
half looked like it was about to rush the stage.  Gurrier and Tyrant took up
places on either side of the stage and glowered out at the audience; daring it
to try something.

Wyatt pretended not to notice.  “Now
then.  Any new business?”  He looked down at his paper.  “I vote that we use
company funds to reimburse the banks which were recently robbed due to the
staggering
ineptitude of our company.”

The motion passed.

Harlot raised her hand.  “I want to
repaint the outside of our corporate offices in a pink leopard print pattern. 
Maybe matching berets for all Squad employees.  I think it will bring us lots
of attention.  All in favor?”

The motion passed unanimously.

Poacher raised his hand.  “I make
the motion that every guy that works here has to legally change his name to
that of a character from the novel
Little Women
.  All in favor?”

The motion passed unanimously.

Harlot snickered and addressed the
crowd.  “Now remember fellas, you can’t
ALL
be Beth.”

Cynic raised his hand.  “I make a
motion that we change the name of the company from the ‘
Freedom Squad,’
to the ‘
Sanctimonious Do-gooding Assholes United Against People Cooler Than
Them
.’  All in favor?”

The motion passed unanimously.

Blackguard raised his hand.  “I
want to use company assets to purchase the ‘Pirate’s Galley’ series of
restaurants and their assorted side businesses.  I feel that it will take our
company in an exciting new direction of more pirate themed endeavors.  All in
favor?”

 The motion passed unanimously.

Tyrant raised his hand from the
side of the stage.  “As a stockholder, I propose that that
Sanctimonious
Do-gooding Assholes United Against People Cooler Than Them,
use its capital
to support me in my bid for total control of this dimension and mastery of its
people, property and lands.  Our company should aide me in my mission to
enslave mankind and hold this world in my dark grip for all time.  All in
favor?”

Wyatt looked at his companions.  “What
do we say, guys?  Should the SDAUAPCTT support Kass in his political campaign?”

Six ayes.  Tyrant’s mouth fell open
in shock and he stalked towards the end of the table.  He picked up the glowing
object and shook it.  “
What do you MEAN ‘
NAY?!?’
  NAY?  NAY!?!   I WILL
UTTERLY DESTROY YOU, YOU LITTLE COCKROACH!  YOU ARE NOTHING!  NOTHING!  SHUT UP
AND OBEY YOUR MASTER!”

Taxidermist thought that over.  “I
make a motion that we change our company motto from:
Freedom, Liberty, Honor
to what Kass just said.  It more matches the spirit of what the SDAUAPCTT
has been doing the past few years.  All in favor?

The motion passed unanimously. 
Wyatt nodded, obviously pleased with the way the meeting was turning out.  “Excellent. 
Excellent.  The new motto of the Sanctimonious Do-gooding Assholes United
Against People Cooler Than Them, Inc will now be: ‘
I WILL UTTERLY DESTROY
YOU, YOU LITTLE COCKROACH!  YOU ARE NOTHING!  NOTHING!  SHUT UP AND OBEY YOUR
MASTER!’
And it shall hereby be displayed on all company property, letterheads,
and consumer products.
” 
He pulled out a pen and wrote that down on the
notepad in front of him.  “I’ll just leave myself a reminder to have that
copyrighted before some OTHER superhero group snaps it up on us.”  He looked up
again.  “Now then, any OTHER new business?  Kass?”

Tyrant sighed dramatically, put
down the glowing object he was still screaming at, and pulled out a slip of
paper from a pouch attached to his belt.  His voice sounded very bored as his
eyes scanned the page clutched in his gauntleted hand.  “Hello.  I am a duly
authorized representative of the Consortium of Chaos Acquisition Company, and my
principle has authorized me to make an offer of fifty-two million, five-hundred
and seven thousand, forty-two dollars and sixteen cents for your company.”

Everyone looked at Poacher
expectantly.  He was sitting in his chair backwards, lounging over the backrest. 
He stared back at his companions blankly for a moment, like he had no idea what
was going on.  He frowned, and Harlot waggled a copy of the paper at him. 

He squinted in confusion.  “What
the fuck…?”  He jumped slightly as realization hit him. “Oh!  Oh yeah…”  He
pulled a crumpled sheet of paper from his pocket…but was having trouble
deciphering it, as he had apparently spilled something on it.  Harlot rolled
her eyes and leaned towards him so he could read off of her paper.  He quickly
began reciting from it in an emotionless tone.  “My fellow directors…it is my
informed business judgment that we should accept the generous offer from that esteemed
organization.  In today’s troubled economic times, we need to protect our
shareholder’s investment, as mandated by our…by our fidu…fidu…”

The Marian woman at the microphone
finished the word for him.  “
Fiduciary
. Noun. 
The person to whom property
or power is entrusted for the benefit of another person or entity.”

He nodded.  “Yeah.  That.  What she
said.  I’m that, and I say we sell out and take all that
FUCKING MONEY!”

Harlot straitened in her chair and looked
out over the audience, her voice taking on the intonation of a very bad actress
reading her lines in panic.  “Oh no.  This would be an extraordinary action and
a change to the Articles of Incorporation.  It would need to be ratified by a
majority of both classes of stockholders before we could move forward.”

Blackguard turned the page of his
script in unison with the others at the table.  “But many of our investors
never even showed up today, and most of the stockholders who
did
attend
our meeting just stormed out.  Without THEM being here, whatever will we do?”

Harlot shook her head sadly, her
eyes never leaving the script.  “I am afraid that we will have to deter this
matter and the Consortium’s substantial offer until a later time.”  She paused
and glanced down at the paper again.  “…‘
DEFER’
this matter and the
Consortium’s substantial offer until a later time.”  She corrected.  “Defer.” 
She pointed at the page.  “Sorry it…it uh…looked like a ‘T’.”  She shrugged.

Cynic took a moment to review his
page, and then started laughing hysterically.  He struggled to read his lines. 
“Not to worry, Madame President.  I took…I took…”  His giggling became too much
and it took him a moment to regain his composure.  “…I took the liberty of
notifying all the shareholders of our intention to take a vote on selling the
company…I guess they were just too busy to even bother opening the letter from the
organization I formed to handle the notification process:
Billy Peterson. 
Age: 7. Mrs. Kirby’s Second Grade Class.  Branson, Missouri 65615….” 
He
paused.  “…,LLC.  Everyone got their letters notifying them of this meeting
with plenty of time to prepare for it though, and to air any objections they
might have.”  He put his head back and cackled manically, and then went back to
reading his lines like they were simply the funniest thing he had ever seen and
every word was coming as a complete surprise to him.  “I am…I am…
HA!
 
Jesus…awesome!...I am
POSITIVE
that they all received their
notifications though, Madame President.  They all had to sign for them, and I
can produce the receipts. 
The Billy Peterson Age: 7 Mrs. Kirby’s Second
Grade Class Branson, Missouri 65615, Limited Liability Company
stands by
its operating procedures
ONE HUNDRED PERCENT,
and abided by every
regulation on the matter.  I can assure you, their mailings will be found to be
an accurate and valid notification, and the decisions reached at this
proceeding will be upheld if challenged.”  He put his head down on the table
still in the throes of laughter.  “
BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!” 
He pounded his
fist down again and again in hysterics.  “Marian,
for the win!
  You’re
just so awesome, girl!  …Billy Peterson, LLC. 
FUCKIN’ AWESOME!” 
His
head shot up from off of the table and he pointed at the woman standing at the
microphone podium with both hands.  “HARD-FUCKING-CORE, LIBS! 
YEAH!”

OCD frowned.

So THAT’S what that letter had been
about.  Damn.  In retrospect, he really SHOULD have opened it. 
Whoops.

Blackguard read from his own page. 
“Besides my friends, it does not matter whether they actually read the
notification or not.  They received it and showed up at this meeting.  At the
start of this meeting, a majority of both classes of stock were present and
that’s all that matters.  Once a quorum; always a quorum.  The board cannot be
expected…”  He turned the page. “…to halt its business simply because
shareholders did not want to stay for the entire meeting and wait for the vote. 
We would never be able to get anything done if a single investor could control
the board simply by walking out like that.  As such, we can take a vote of the
shares CURRENTLY in the room and anyone not here will be conclusively presumed
to have voted
WITH THE BOARD
as mandated by our company bylaws. 
Everyone has been fully informed of any potential conflicts of interest we may
have in this case, and to the fact that we are considering accepting this offer
with no counterbids from other organizations, as it is our business judgment
that time is of the essence on this deal and we cannot delay.  We have done all
we can and now have to rely on the wisdom of our investors as we ask them to
decide this matter.”