Worth The Wait: A Nature Of Desire Series Novel (52 page)

Elaine paused, recalling herself, and put her hand over Des’s on the blanket. Her touch was soft and cool. He was more ready for it now, but his fingers twitched in reaction, so she drew her hand away.

“Forgive me, son. Perhaps I shouldn’t have told you that, but nothing in those words she spoke were true. You were a gift she should have treasured. Your health was merely her excuse.”

“Yeah. And her fault. She abused her body, and my body paid the price.”

Des had no anger over it. It was just simple logic. But when Elaine flinched, he put out a hand, palm up. She glanced at him, then laid hers in it, like a butterfly landing. It worked better that way, him initiating the touch. He closed his fingers over hers, gently, wondering at touching her. But the feeling that rose in him was too powerful, too undefined, and he didn’t want to lose control. He drew back.

“Like you said, she blamed others for the things she did. I’m not a child, Elaine. Maybe when I was little, I went through the ‘why didn’t my parents love me enough to keep me’ phase, but I had good people at the boys’ home who looked after me. I’m not really into religion, but I do believe there’s Something out there, and whatever she was so willing to blame gave me the smarts to embrace my life instead of being bitter about it. Most the time.” He smiled at her. “You know, once when I was in the hospital, Miss America came to visit the children’s ward? She was wearing this silky floral dress. When she bent down to stroke my head, I could look right down the front of it. I was nine. I was old enough to appreciate the gift.”

Elaine tsked at him, but her eyes twinkled, telling him he’d succeeded in easing her mind. “Mind your manners, young man.”

He sobered. “Seriously, she was nice. And I thought, wow, if I hadn’t been in the hospital today, I wouldn’t have met her. It was around about then I started realizing that, no matter what shit I had to deal with about my health, there were plenty of good things out there for me. I just had to pay attention so I didn’t miss out on the opportunities to have them. Fortunately, my first goal—to marry her—didn’t work out, so I didn’t find myself off the market when I met Julie.”

“She’s a very special woman.”

“She is.” Des read the speculation in the older woman’s face. “I won’t hurt her. I love her.”

“Then you’ll definitely hurt her.” The wisdom and experience of it showed in Elaine’s hazel eyes. “That’s the way love works. She’ll hurt you sometimes, too. But love is all about forgiving one another, learning to love, laugh and grow together. Build a life together. Is that your intention?”

Des blinked at the shift. Though Elaine had been tentative in their discussions of Christine, Des now found himself in the laser sights of a woman who operated on a code many would consider outdated. But she’d obviously taken Julie under her wing and would protect her in the ways she knew best.

Despite being bedridden and not at his best or most stubborn, he rallied enough to give her a direct look.

“I think that’s something she and I should discuss first before I make my intentions known to anyone else.”

“Hmph.” Another long stare, and Des considered it lucky he didn’t relapse, holding fast against it. Then Elaine’s lips curved, and her eyes sparkled anew.

“You’ll do, Desmond. You have backbone.” She rose, gripping his hand and holding onto it this time. “If you don’t already have a tradition of your own, I’ll expect you for Christmas with the rest of the family. Julie usually stays at Marcus and Thomas’s house, right down the road from us, and you’re welcome to do that, or you two can stay in Thomas’s old bedroom. My house is open to you.”

I’ll expect you for Christmas with the rest of the family.
Never in his life had those words been said to him. Maybe it was the surgery, the painkillers he was on, or other debilitating factors that made him susceptible to sucker punch triggers, but his chest got tight, his throat thickening. “Um…I…that would be…”

Her eyes softened, and she bent down to kiss his forehead, her thin, cool hands cupping his jaw. She pressed her cheek against his, trapping the moisture that had leaked from his eye and absorbing it into her own creased skin. She straightened, combing her fingers through the wisps of hair at his brow.

“You have no idea how much you look like her,” she said, her own voice thick. “I lost my sister, Desmond, long before she actually died. I prayed for her every day, but when she told me about you, God forgive me, I prayed even harder for you. Though I knew giving you up was the best thing she ever could have done for you, I prayed that you’d end up with someone who loved you. I’ve prayed for you every day since she told me about you.”

She was killing him. As he tried to nod, her hand gripped his again, her eyes suddenly brilliant in their intensity. “I know you’re a grown man, and you’ve dealt with all these things, and obviously dealt with them well. You are a generous, kind person. However, I want you to know something. If she had come to us when she was pregnant with you, Robert and I would have taken you in a heartbeat. You would have been raised as one of our children, just as loved as any of them. I didn’t have the chance to do that, but if you want a family now, you have one.”

Okay, Marcus was right. The woman
was
evil. When his shoulders shuddered and he turned his face away, she wrapped her arms around him. Though she was careful not to disrupt his IVs, she held his face to her bosom so he could bury those tears there. He had his arm around her fragile yet oddly sturdy body and, while he held on tighter than he should have, she never flinched. She cradled him in her arms in a way he’d also never experienced. As he wept without thought or analysis, she cried, too.

His body would heal from this surgery, but Elaine had just helped heal a wound to his soul.

* * *

H
e didn’t really remember running
down, but the drugs and the stress of the surgery overcame him. He recalled her settling him back on the pillows and using a damp cloth to wipe his face, her fingertips combing back his hair again. She admonished him about using the word ‘shit’ earlier, telling him he needed to watch his language. It made him smile. He slept.

He was aware of Julie coming back, sitting with him, gripping his hand, the press of her mouth against his, an entirely welcome sensation he tried to prolong, but his arm was too weak to lift. It was okay, though. Her clean female scent stayed close.

When he woke again, she was curled up in the guest chair, asleep. Marcus was laying a blanket over her, and Elaine was saying something about wishing she could bring him back some breakfast since hospital food was so horrible. He was all for that.

“Eggs and hash browns,” he mumbled. “And take Julie with you. She needs to sleep in a real bed. Don’t let her wear herself out. I’m fine here.”

Elaine came to the bed and pressed a motherly hand to his brow. “She’s as stubborn as you are, but they said you’ll be able to have a liquid diet tomorrow and get the IVs out. If you’re up to it, you’ll be able to get up and move around a bit. That will go a long way toward convincing her. They won’t let us feed you anything but what they approve yet. Have to take care of that special kidney of yours.”

“Bet Thomas will get hash browns,” he said sullenly, but he took a closer look at Marcus. As Elaine had hinted, he had the lined tiredness in his otherwise perfect face that said he’d been camping out in another room the same way Julie was camping in his.

“Is Thomas okay?”

“He’s great. We’ll get you together for a visit in the morning.”

“Tell him thanks. Thanks…to all of you.”

Des saw Julie’s eyes open and he couldn’t look away. He wanted her in the bed with him. He wanted her close.

“Let’s give them a little time to snooze. We’ll go back to Thomas.” Elaine, picking up the vibe, eased her and Marcus toward the door. Des felt a little guilty about making them feel like they had to leave, but he did have one question he wanted answered first, that he asked as they reached the door.

“How do you know I’m a generous, kind person?”

Elaine blinked. “I’ve interrogated your closest associates. Waterboarding was used.”

He snorted but Marcus tossed him a look. “Believe her. She could wear a California redwood to a stump.”

“Hush,” Elaine told him, though her lips pressed against a smile. “I talked to these two and Thomas about you. Particularly Julie. That wonderful girl thinks she’s been in love before, but I disagree.” She glanced toward Julie and back at Des. “You love someone worthy of being loved, and it’s clear to me she’s deeply in love with you.”

As Marcus held the door for her, he gave Des a nod before the door closed behind them.

Des looked toward Julie immediately. “Can you come here?”

Her lips tipped up. “What, a request? No Dommish orders? No ‘get your ass over here now’?”

“Not my style.”

“I beg to differ. It’s your style. You just don’t use the words. You use ‘the look.’”

“Well at the moment they’ve got so many chemicals running through my system, the best I can manage is a cross-eyed, drooling stare. But since there are three of you, I’m having all sorts of good fantasies. Get all of your asses over here.”

She giggled and put the footrest down, coming to him with the blanket still wrapped around her. He expected it was chilly, as it always was in hospital rooms, though he wasn’t feeling it, since they had him swathed in a bunch of blankets.

He was able to move over enough for her, though, so she could slide in on the side that didn’t have all his hookups. As soon as she pillowed her head on his shoulder and settled her body against his, his world centered in a way that he knew without question answered Elaine’s question about intentions.

“I’m going to marry you,” he said.

“Oh?” She sounded drowsy, but happy at the prospect. “I can go for that. Are we doing this right now, or is there time to get a dress?” She paused, and she didn’t have to say anything for him to know she was thinking of the night in the theater.

“Is that the one you’d like to wear?”

“Yes. I’ll get it altered to fit me a bit better. Otherwise it will slide all the way off my boobs at the reception when I step on the hem and cause a wardrobe malfunction, but…yes.”

“Good.”

“Good to the wardrobe malfunction or the dress?”

“Both.” He put his arm around her. He was weak, Christ, he was weak, but that would change. The one good thing about having a tidal health history was knowing these things ebbed and flowed. He’d be strong enough to lift her over a threshold by the time they were married. He’d make damn sure of it.

“So…Elaine. She’s a bit scary. She said she expects me to join them for Christmas this year.”

“Of course. You’re part of the family, aren’t you? I was going to invite you to Marcus and Thomas's as my plus-one. Sounds like I'll be yours. Don’t tell me you’re going to refuse. It takes a braver woman than me to say no to that woman."

"Are we sure she's not a Domme? I'm thinking she has stilettos and a whip hidden away somewhere."

"If she does, when she passes—hopefully decades from now—we better get them before her kids find their hiding place. Thomas would be traumatized for life." Julie glanced down, amused, noticing he was winding his pulse-ox line around her wrist. "Just can't help yourself, can you?"

"I was going to ask Sal if he’d bring me restraints. Figured I could cuff you to the bed, make sure you don't go anywhere while I was sleeping."

"I won't go anywhere," she said. Suddenly sobering, she curled her fingers around his wrist with her other hand. "And you aren't either. You hear me? I don't care about statistics or anything else. You're going to hang around long enough for me to grow old with you. Better or worse and all that."

"Good thing I asked first. I'm pretty sure not only is the man supposed to be the one to propose, but a Dom would definitely be the proposer."

"I'm a pushy sub. You've said so. And a New Yorker." She smiled, but then she shifted uncertainly, as if doubting herself, or his feelings on the matter.

"I do. I will. I feel like we already are." Des touched her face, stroked it. "If I should go before you, it won't matter, Julie. I'm not taking a boat anywhere you can't go. Whether it's a day or fifty years from now, I'll wait right there on the other side. You're worth the wait to me. You always will be. I knew it the first time I saw you."

She blinked back tears. "You're just saying that because I let you touch my breast within a minute of meeting me,” she said.

"Well, yeah, there is that." He considered her. "You know, I haven't given you flowers in a while. I liked the liquid nitrogen scene Tony did with Charlotte. Would you like it if I gave you flowers that way? Leave the blush of a rose’s petals against your fair skin when the bloom explodes into a million pieces?”

“I’d like anything you’d give me. The first date we had, you took me to see flowers.”

“Actually our first date was my daring spider rescue. The notorious breast-touching-excuse incident.”

She chuckled, held him tighter and he kissed the top of her head. “We’re okay, love,” he murmured. “We’re okay.”