William Shakespeare's The Phantom Menace (5 page)

I prithee, Captain, take them to camp four.

Forsooth! Forsooth!

[Exeunt Nute Gunray and Rune Haako
.

Enter
Q
UI
-G
ON
J
INN
, O
BI
-W
AN
K
ENOBI
,
and
J
AR
J
AR
B
INKS
above, on balcony
.

—The queen—now is the time!

The Force we leap withal, for victory!

[Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Jar Jar leap down and begin fighting the battle droids
.

[
aside, whilst fighting:
] O, with what ease these droids defeated are,

Had they but any skill in combat we

Would certain be outnumber'd, yet with such

A lack of acumen, these droids are no

More frightening than if they were but toys.

[The Jedi destroy the battle droids
.

[
To Sabé:
] Your Highness, 'twould be best to leave the streets.

Ye courtiers, take the weapons of the droids!

O wowsa, yousa guys so bombad.

[The group moves aside, off the street
.

We are ambassadors and were sent here

By our wise chancellor.

—Ambassador,

Your effort at negotiation fail'd.

If I were you, a new trade would I ply.

Nay, by a Jedi's oath, there never were

Negotiations—only violence.

'Tis urgent, now, that we make contact with

The brave Republic. Time runs quickly out.

Communication means have been destroy'd.

But what of transport? Is there some nearby?

Within the hangar—follow me anon!

[The group walks to the hangar, revealing more battle droids
.

Alas, too many enemies therein;

Like evil thoughts these droids do multiply.

'Twill be no problem for we Jedi two,

The weak shall be o'ercome by those more skill'd.

[
To Sabé:
] Your Highness, prithee journey with we two

To Coruscant. Belike you will be safe

And may before the Senate plead your cause.

With gratitude I greet your proffer'd aid,

Yet rightfully my place is on Naboo.

Yet they shall take your life should you remain.

Nay, surely they would never be so bold!

They need the queen to sign their treaty, so

To render this invasion legal. Should

They kill her, they would lose their one defense.

And yet I sense there may be more at play:

What game's afoot is still a mystery,

No logic guides the Federation's moves.

My feeling is: they mean to do you harm.

I would not have a queen become a pawn.

Our only hope is for the Senate's help.

The senator, e'en Palpatine, shall need

Your good assistance in this matter, ma'am.

This situation grave is dangerous.

[
To Padmé:
] Aye, dangerous for all who shall go forth.

Yet we are brave, Your Highness. We shall go.

If you would leave, Your Highness, 'twill be now.

Enough, I am engag'd. I'll challenge this,

And venture forth to plead my case before

The Senate. Hope shall be our strength and stay.

[They begin walking toward the transport
.

Enter
BATTLE DROIDS
guarding
PILOTS
,
including
R
IC
O
LIÉ
.

The pilots must be freed if we would fly.

'Twould be my joy to free them of their bonds.

[Obi-Wan makes his way toward the pilots as Qui-Gon is stopped by a guard droid
.

Desist at once, and take no further step.

I am the chancellor's ambassador.

I tell thee I must take these people here

To Coruscant.

—Well, where shalt thou take them?

To Coruscant, thou brute.

—Why, you shall take

Them, then, to Coruscant. Alack, this doth

Go 'gainst my programming, doth not compute!

Behold, I place you all under arrest.

Thou shalt a ghost droid be ere I am through.

[Qui-Gon destroys guard droid with his lightsaber. Obi-Wan destroys droids guarding pilots. Sabé, Padmé, and Captain Panaka begin to board transport
.

Anon, we fly!

—Ye pilots all, make haste!

[The pilots run to various vessels. Ric Olié boards the queen's transport with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan
.

It is my duty and mine honor to

Protect and serve the queen whom I adore!

[The ship flies off. Exeunt
.

Enter
O
BI
-W
AN
K
ENOBI
and
J
AR
J
AR
B
INKS
aside in ship, with
ASTROMECH DROIDS
including
R2-D2.

Pray, stay thou here and mischief do thou none.

[Exit Obi-Wan
.

Heigh-ho, my lads. Are ye misunderstood

As Jar Jar Binks and his dear Gungans? Eh?

Know ye of human prejudice and scorn?

Methinks ye must, as all nonhumans do.

[Exit Jar Jar
.

Enter
Q
UI
-G
ON
J
INN
, O
BI
-W
AN
K
ENOBI
, C
APTAIN
P
ANAKA
,
and
R
IC
O
LIÉ
in cockpit
.

The blockade doth appear, to work us woe.

They shoot at us, and we are sorely hit!

The generator of the shield is down.

Mayhap this doth betoken our defeat!

[Astromech droids move outside the ship to repair the shield generator
.

Beep, meep, beep, squeak, beep, whistle, meep, meep, hoo!

[
Aside:
] It is my time to serve and prove my worth!

I would the brave Republic serve with pride,

For I do long for some advent'rous life,

With galaxies to see and quests to take,

And even more: I long to be inspir'd

And join a noble cause to which I may

Contribute all my strength and skill and wit.

Now to it, R2, serve thy very best!

[Several astromech droids are destroyed by fire from the blockade
.

Alas, these droids do fall like winter snow,

Each flake snuff'd out by flaming sword of fire.

We soon shall have no more, and then we're lost.

Without the generator we are dead—

The shots shall find their mark and end our lives.

The shields are gone. 'Tis done, my comrades. Done!

Beep, meep, beep, hoo!

—But O, what sign is this?

The power hath return'd, and with it, too,

Our prospect of survival. O, hurrah!

The droid hath done the deed; he bypass'd the

Main power drive. Deflector shields are up

To maximum effect, and we are sav'd.

[R2-D2 returns inside the ship
.

One thing remains, however, worthy friends:

There ship hath not not sufficient power to

Deliver us to Coruscant. It is

The hyperdrive, it leaketh out, like blood

From some deep wound within its metal core.

We must make landing to repair, refuel.

No ship is shipshape sans a solid structure.

[
consulting star charts:
] Look, Master, here is found a planet near.

I have not heard its name: 'tis Tatooine.

'Tis small and poor, and far from ev'rything;

The Federation hath no presence there.

What confidence have you in this remark?

The planet is controllèd by the Hutts.

The Hutts, indeed. Such lowly gangsters of

Base reputation, fill'd with avarice:

Their minds on money, money on their minds.

Such lowly, wormlike villainy as theirs

No royalty should e'er bear witness to,

Or forcèd be to find the strength t'endure.

O nay, ye Jedis, find another course:

Pray, let us not take her to Tatooine!

E'en if they did discover her, 'twould be

No diff'rent than if our lame ship were bound

For any place the Federation holds.

Except, my friend: the Hutts expect her not,

Nor are they searching for the noble queen.

We do, then, have a strong advantage here—

Thus let us land, with hopefulness sincere.

[Exeunt
.

My patience runneth out, so tell me true:

Hath Amidala sign'd the treaty yet?

My lord, with trepidation I report:

The queen hath disappear'd. There was one ship

From small Naboo escap'd our stout blockade.

That treaty shall be sign'd! I will it so.

But 'tis impossible to find the ship.

It lies beyond our range of scope or measure.

Enter
D
ARTH
M
AUL
in beam with
D
ARTH
S
IDIOUS
.