Authors: Andrea Jackson
“Oh my God!
Pregnant?
You’re afraid you might be pregnant by me! Oh
Geez
, Crystal!”
“No, I don’t think so,” she reassured him quickly. “I’ve been using birth control since I was sixteen.”
He issued a shuddering groan in response. With his head still down, he said, “So you’re afraid I’ve given you an STD. I can’t
deal
with this, Shortcake.” A sigh hissed between his lips.
“This is not an indictment, Emerson,” she protested. “It’s just the way life is nowadays. I mean, neither of was a virgin.”
“I know, I know.” He sat up with a sigh and spread his hands in appeal. “But you’re my little Shortcake. And now we’re talking about STDs. I had a few drinks and I was like a dog in heat.”
“We both lost control,” she admitted. “But it was just the alcohol. The point is, I don’t want a momentary loss of control to come between us, Emerson.”
“Me either. But…” He fingered his upper lip where silken fuzz grew. “But maybe we should think about moving our relationship in a new direction. You know?” He waited uncertainly for her reaction.
Crystal jerked her attention back from the fantasy of tracing his shadowy mustache with the tip of her tongue.
I
have it bad!
she thought in despair.
She pushed up from the couch and paced around to the back of it. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Emerson. We tried the love and romance routine once and it almost ruined our friendship. Don’t you remember?”
He froze, the memory coming in unpleasant clarity, causing an uneasy feeling. “Yeah, I had almost forgotten that. But we were only high school kids then.”
“We were old enough. And it was bad enough that I don’t want to risk it again.”
“What makes you so sure it would end badly?” he demanded.
Crystal took a few more steps and seated herself in a chair at the computer desk, clear across the room from him. “I don’t think love and friendship mix, Emerson. The personal dynamics are all wrong in our case.”
She took a moment to order her thoughts. “People have subconscious expectations of what an ideal lover should be. That’s only natural. In most relationships, there’s an on-going give and take as each partner weighs whether the rewards they’re getting from the relationship are worth the cost of what they have to give up. If they’re successful they achieve balance, what we like to think of as happiness.”
Key frowned at her. “Are you saying we can’t do that?”
She leaned forward with a gesture of appeal. “We know each other too well. I know I’m not your ideal, Key. No matter what you say, the knowledge is going to cause me continual frustration and I’ll end up being a bitch.”
He folded his arms. “How do you know what my ideal is?”
Crystal tilted her head with an indulgent, bittersweet smile. “I’ve been your home girl for thirteen years, Emerson. I’ve seen you with beautiful, sophisticated, adoring women. And, sweetie, that is not me.”
Key chewed the corner of his lower lip in ferocious denial. He knew there was a flaw somewhere in her logic. There had to be. No way could his body respond to her as it had if there wasn’t something going on. But she was so articulate and so convincing—
The chattering voices of his sister and their guest at the top of the stairs heralded an imminent interruption.
“Shit!” he exploded. He bounded out of his chair and stalked in the opposite direction. He flung a pointing finger at her as she sat there with a sad little knowing smile on her face. “This is not the end, Taylor. We’re going to talk about this again.”
* * *
A half hour discussion among the group settled the details concerning Jalessa’s stay. When Key left, he told Crystal she’d better check her messages because her cell phone had been off all day.
Jalessa and Shonté were getting along like old friends so Crystal went to her bedroom with her phone. She found four messages from Key and five from Graham, all increasingly frantic.
She closed her eyes with a silent groan. After her call Saturday morning looking for Shonté, Graham must be concerned. What had Shonté told him since then?
She took a deep breath, willing herself to sound calm and collected so she could assure him that he had nothing to be concerned about. Picking up her phone, she dialed his number.
He didn’t even say hello. “Crystal, what’s going on? Why were you looking for Shonté at that time of the morning?”
Deep, calming breaths.
“I’m sorry, Graham. It was a-a misunderstanding.”
“Wasn’t she home?”
“She was—at the grocery store. I guess I panicked a little bit when I realized she was gone. Should have thought first.” She gave a rusty chuckle.
“Are you lying to me? Because she’s been acting strange lately. Tell me the truth, Crystal. If she’s messing with someone else, I want to know!”
“Graham, this is between you and Shonté. Have you talked to her?”
He grunted. “Yes, a little. But I’m not sure anymore what to believe.”
“I’m sorry, Graham.”
“Just talk to her, okay. Tell her I really care about her and I want to work it out if there’s a problem.”
Crystal hung up, her stomach cramping from guilt and stress. This demonstrated exactly why she didn’t want to get involved in a sexual relationship with Key. She was afraid she would end up being the needy, begging one, like Graham. Just like her mother had always told her she was. Just like she’d been since she met the Emerson siblings.
* * *
When the Air Force transferred Crystal’s mother to Pope Air Force base in North Carolina, Crystal began the adjustment to yet another school and neighborhood. Sergeant Alicia Taylor was outgoing and energetic, just the opposite of her daughter. She had long since stopped asking Crystal why she didn’t have any friends and spent so much time in her room.
Crystal’s mother worked long hours while a new boyfriend took up much of her off duty time. To kill time, Crystal often stayed after school, watching teams practice or reading in the library. One day as she got off the activity bus and started down the street toward her house, a huge, hairy dog bounded up to her. The dog snorted and drooled from his enormous teeth.
Crystal was about to scream when someone shouted, “Grab the dog!”
She looked up to see a teenaged boy racing from the other end of the street, pointing at the dog. The dog saw him too, gave a deep bark and took off in the opposite direction.
“Masai! Stop! Come back here!”
The guy slowed when he neared her, spreading his arms with a plaintive, “Why didn’t you grab the dog?”
Then he was gone again. Crystal watched him running, moving like a rocket, powerful arms and legs pumping, his open shirt flapping.
She shook her head and continued down the street. The truth was that she was a little nervous around dogs and certainly wasn’t going to confront a massive beast she didn’t know. As she reached her yard, the beast came streaking in her direction again with the guy still in hot pursuit.
She swung her book bag at the dog. He dodged and snapped at the straps, catching one and giving it a tug.
“No!” she exclaimed and pulled back on the bag. With a bark, he let go, but so did she.
Masai leaned back on his haunches, standing guard over the bag, and looked at her expectantly, his tongue lolling out, his tail wagging furiously.
Out of nowhere, the guy tackled him with a resounding “Oomph!” Dog and captor tumbled over one another in a rolling mass. The dog slobbered all over the guy’s face. He was laughing, panting, and spitting all at once, but his hold wasn’t tight enough and the dog escaped once more.
“Masai!”
The dog stopped at the edge of Crystal’s yard and barked a friendly challenge. Then he took off again.
The young man—or boy, because on closer inspection, Crystal realized he wasn’t much older than she was even though he was big and muscular—came up on his knees and bellowed a half-hearted curse. “I’m gonna kill that stupid dog when I catch him.
Masai!”
Masai danced back and forth, clearly enjoying this exciting game. Crystal picked up her book bag and Masai darted at her. She threw the bag down again.
The teenager scooped it up. “Here you go, boy, here you go,” he cajoled, shaking the bag.
“Hey!” protested Crystal, making a grab at the kid.
Masai took advantage of their temporary inattention to snatch the bag in a flying leap and drag it across the road. Cars coming from each direction squealed brakes and blared horns. Masai disappeared between two houses across the street.
“Masai!” The teenager was off again, waving an apology at both drivers.
“My book bag!” Crystal screeched and raced after him. More horns honked as she surprised the drivers who had thought all was clear. She kept going, intent on getting her bag back.
The dog led them on a crazy chase, through bushes, back and forth across the residential road, through several yard sprinklers, and into a small park. Soaked to the skin, winded and laughing hysterically, Crystal and the boy spread on opposite sides of the dog. The delighted animal raced back and forth between them. Gradually, they were able to close in so the dog’s master could capture him and, with her help, snap on a leash he took out of his jeans pocket. The panting dog wriggled and licked both their faces with contagious exuberance. Key introduced himself and then they backtracked in search of her bag, which the dog had dropped along the way. Crystal gazed in dismay at the torn, muddy bundle and realized that her own clothing was in similar shape.
Key looked rueful. He was sweaty and dirty too, but she was certain that it looked a lot better on him than it did on her. She tugged her jersey pullover over her hips and tried to smooth her hair down.
“Hey, the least I can do is invite you to our place to clean up,” Key said.
“Oh, no, “she protested. “I’ll go home. I live right down the street.” She pointed out the house.
Surprise flickered across his face. “You do? Did you just move there?”
“About four months ago,” she said dryly.
“Really? What school you go to?”
She told him.
“Then you know my sister, Shonté Emerson. Why don’t you come over and hang out after you change?”
She stared, contrasting his dark massive charisma to Shonté’s dainty golden beauty. “You’re Shonté Emerson’s brother?”
He nodded with a good-natured grimace. “I know, I know. We’re both adopted. So you gonna come over or what?”
“Well, I—”
“Come on. We’ve got video games, and my mom will fix snacks. You can see that Masai isn’t always such a monster.”
“Okay,” she said, giddy with the sudden impulse.
She reconsidered about a hundred times in the next half hour, but finally walked the two blocks to their house and rang the doorbell.
Key let her in and introduced her to Shonté. Shonté recognized her from one of their shared classes and in minutes they were comparing class notes. The three of them played video games, watched TV and talked.
When Mrs. Emerson asked if she wanted to stay for dinner, Crystal was surprised at how quickly the time had gone and how at ease she was in this house. She phoned her mother, who sounded startled and delighted. Before she could ask any embarrassing questions, Crystal hung up and said it was okay to stay.
She felt odd at the dinner table. All of them gathered around family style, making her think of the Huxtable family on TV. At her house, she usually ate in her room in front of the television. Crystal loved her mother and knew her mother loved her—in her own way. But sometimes Crystal wondered if her mother was from another planet, which would explain why they had so much trouble communicating. Alicia Taylor complained regularly about Crystal’s introverted nature, calling her clingy.
Vonetta and Joe Emerson were completely the opposite. They seemed interested in everything about their children. The dinner table conversation was a laughing, chaotic, fascinating interplay. Afterwards, Key and Shonté walked her home in the dark and she said good night. Sad resignation was a rock in her stomach. She figured that would be the only time she’d ever spend with them.
To her surprise, Shonté did speak to her the next day at school. But she felt awkward and out of place with Shonté’s friends. Shonté didn’t press her to join them.
It was only the coincidence of both of them showing up in the bathroom at a certain moment in time later in the year that their paths had merged.
After that, nothing could keep Crystal away from her friends. They were her family now.
* * *
Crystal sighed. She was glad to be the one her friends relied on when they needed help. Right now Key needed her help. She still had to call Jalessa’s mother and then phone some of her contacts to get references to teen mother counselors. And Marcus was due here at any minute, too. Key had detailed a stern lecture for her to deliver to the boy about stepping up to his responsibilities and thinking about his future.
She sighed. Another long night.
She was beginning to feel as if she were trapped in a soap opera. Having a stranger in the house was unsettling enough, without her and Shonté still being on prickly terms. Shonté kept hinting about the mystery man in Crystal’s life, and tempers had flared when Crystal delivered Graham’s messages.
The next morning, Crystal took the day off from work. She drove Jalessa to school, then made phone calls to find a place where she could get counseling and shelter, too, if she needed it. After school, she picked Jalessa up and made the hour’s drive to Raleigh to a counseling center for unwed mothers where Mrs. Hines met them.
When Jalessa, her mother, and a counselor left Crystal in the waiting room, Crystal let her mind drift back to a long ago scenario that was uncomfortably similar but turned out much differently
. I wish there’d been someone to help Shonté when she was fifteen and scared to death. If only….
Crystal shook her head, a physical response to her need to brush aside the memories. ‘If only’ didn’t pay the piper. All anyone could do was move forward.