Who I Became (Who I Was Book 2) (7 page)

I smile at the memory that I keep replaying from five minutes ago just as I hear crunching coming up the driveway.  I have my gun drawn and my back against the door in two seconds flat.  Then I see Parker duck behind the car.   I think he very well may have shit his pants. I can’t help the laughter that builds up.  We are all a bit tired and that just struck me as funny.  He walks up shaking his head, and then rears back punching me in the gut.  He doesn’t hit me too hard but I double over like it was the hardest punch ever.

“Seriously Wes? I have had enough guns pointed at me.”

“Sorry.” It barely is audible because I can’t stop laughing.

“Ass.”

I nod because I am, then follow him over to help pick up the wood he dropped.  Walking back into the house, he asks why I was outside.

“You don’t want to know.” I smirk. 

He gets bug-eyed then shakes his head and agrees that he is better off not knowing.

“Be careful.  She doesn’t remember. Don’t do anything without her remembering. That’s really shitty.  I see the way she looks at you. There is interest but it seems off for you to play on that with everything…”             

That pisses me off.  He must not understand that I love her more than my own life.  I would never do something like that. Yes I may have wanted to push her up on top of that sink, rip open her legs, then dive in between them face first, but I would never have done it.  Not like this.  “Seriously?” He can hear the anger in my tone.

“Sorry, I know okay, just a reminder.  If you hurt her in any way, I will destroy you.” He smiles at the end and I decide not to hurt him.

When you spend so much time with someone in such a high anxiety situation with lack of sleep, you are bound to slip up and piss each other off.  We relent on further talking as well, there isn’t much else to say right now and we think maybe we are better suited not risking any further conversations.  I help him start the fire and we are standing back from the fire a bit when the hairs on my neck begin to tingle a little.  She is done with her shower.

I turn slowly and my eyes grow.  She is out of the shower all right.  She is standing in the living room still in her towel but now she is wet from her shower and if possible, sexier than before.  She is glowing.  I groan and then turn around, leaving the room to go get her some clothes. I can’t be trusted with her running around like that for any period of time, no matter how short the time frame is.  I know what I just said to Park, but a man has only so much self control. Parker follows me after a few minutes and I hand him her bag, then head back out to the car to get a few more of the supplies that we will need and giving me some space to breathe and to relax before she notices the effect she had on me. Fuck, I am sure it isn’t a secret to her. 

I unload the boxes in the living room then start unpacking them. That’s when I look at the time.  I go and tell Park to meet me in the dining room. I would have preferred it be alone but she follows after. I don’t care how many times she says she wants or needs to be involved. I need her to not worry, to just rest, and relax.  Too bad she is as stubborn as an ox.

“What’s up Wes?”

I ignore Park’s question when I see Lillian looking at the kitchen longingly, shit, when did we eat last? I turn around and head right in there and start making something for dinner.  She comes in to see what I am doing and the bright smile on her face is all I would ever need for sustenance.

“Mac N Cheese, my favorite.” She whispers—like it is a secret between just us, when I am sure anyone who has spent any time with her knows that. I would love to keep this between us, this little moment we are having. I look over at her and lower my head to her ear before responding.  “I know.” I whisper, just an inch from her ear and wink at her as I pull away.  She blushes a little, gives me her small smile then walks back to the dining room.  I love her.

We sit down to eat.  For a while, we won’t be eating gourmet food, we don’t have the ability to be picky. I am just happy to have something that will comfort her. 

“Okay Wes, now that we are eating.” He pauses to look at me like I am a crazy person for feeding her.  Does he expect her to starve? “What did you call me in here for?”

“Vanessa will be calling in a minute. I wanted to make sure we were in the same location. I figured you would like to know what happened with the shit storm we left behind.”

He takes a bite; understanding now, glances over at her then to me questioningly.  As much as I want to protect her, I know there is no hope of getting her out of here now.  I nod, letting him know she can stay.  I laugh inside. Like we ever had a choice.

CHAPTER NINE

LILLIAN

Vanessa? Who the hell is Vanessa? I put my head down and eat slowly.  Still a little nauseated from the meds and being in the hospital.  There is only so much sitting in a hospital bed you can do before you start to feel sick. I am racking my memories for who this Vanessa could be.  I don’t remember one.  I start to feel very anxious; worried I actually did lose some memory.  I am interrupted by a phone ringing.

I glance over at Wesson and watch as he opens the phone; it is an older cell phone.  One that flips and doesn’t have a lot of other functions then talking on it.

“Hello?”

Someone talking to him… probably Vanessa. Whoever that is.

“Yeah we are here, are you okay? Are you able to talk?”

More talking on the other hand. I bet Vanessa is pretty.

“Okay good, here hold on, and let me put you on speaker.”

He puts the phone down, after hitting the speaker button. I am very anxious to hear this Vanessa’s voice.  I know I am being crazy, I mean he has been with me in the hospital for the past three weeks.  However, I can remember all the times he was gone, I can almost tell you the amount of time that he was gone.  There was the whole time I was in a coma also.  I never understood what he saw in me anyway. I just can’t believe this.  That is when I shake my head. I am going crazy. I know I am being a bitch with not remembering him, but there is no way he would have found someone already. I trust him, I trust our love. I have to.

“You guy’s there?” She asks. She does sound nice.

“Yeah, it’s me, Parker and Lillian.” Did he just say my name weird like he was warning her?

“Oh… Okay.”

“So what’s going on Nessa?” Park asks. I turn to look at him like he just grew another head.  Who is this Vanessa?

She has a nickname from Park? I don’t get it.

“Well I am at home now but only for 30 minutes.  I was allowed to go home and shower and that was very generous.  I think it’s because I am a girl or something. Chief always does weird things like this to me-” She stops for a minute and it sounds like she drops the phone. Both boys perk up and scoot closer to the phone as if they are going to actually get to her.

“Everything okay Nes?” Wow, the name just keeps getting shorter, more personal as we go on.

“Yeah sorry, I was pulling off my boot and lost my phone. It’s been a long day.”

“Tell us.”

“Right, so after you left, it took them all of 15 minutes before a nurse came back in. I guess they were about to take Lil down to do…a test.”

That’s weird, I don’t remember them talking about doing any more tests that day.

“Anyway, I wasn’t informed of you missing for some time. I think they didn’t- well, I mean it took awhile.”

Why does she keep changing what she is going to say, it’s like she is nervous. I don’t like it.

“So once I found out you were missing, it was an all out man hunt. They were one step away from putting you on the evening news but finally I reminded them that you were wanted by more than them. I swear that team sometimes. Okay, anyway, I am in the clear, nowhere near a suspect.  I forgot to mention that the Chief used to be my uncle.”

What. The. Fuck?

I watch as both boys again in unison jump up reacting at the same time.

“What do you mean Vanessa? That is something you should have told us. We can’t be here.”

She laughs, actually laughs.

“You guys are safe.  He was married to an aunt of mine on the other side of the family. They are in no way in contact anymore.  It wasn’t a good divorce and he feels bad. Sadly, I think that is why I am where I am after just getting out of the academy but it is a who you know sort of field so I let it happen.”

“Are. You. Sure? Because if you put her in trouble.”

Wesson is practically spitting he is so upset.  I have seen him upset before, this isn’t the worst.  However, he is still scary as shit if you’re at the other end.

“Wesson, think about what you are saying. After everything, do you think I would risk this?”

He doesn’t take long to respond.  I really would like to know who this Vanessa is. I also know that it is only made worse for me because I can’t ask without ruining everything.

“No, you are right. Sorry, continue.”

“Nothing really to report right now, they are looking and they won’t find you.  Except…”

“Except what?”

“You need to hide the car or lose it, hiding probably best. Although I guess it’s okay if your fingerprints are in it.”

“What’s going on Vanessa?”

Wesson is getting annoyed, I am getting joyful. I am a heartless bitch.

“There are camera’s Wesson. What do you think is going on? The hospital isn’t camera free.  The guy who dropped the car off knew where the cameras were. You were parked right in a blind spot but they were able to pick you up as you drove off. They know you three are together, not sure they needed cameras for that. I mean why would they not think you three were together if you went missing at the same time? Oh, anyway. I know this is stressful, I get that but you have to think logical Wes, this isn’t something that could have been avoided. The guy who dropped the car off was covered and avoided the cameras, totally unable to identify. He is not a threat.”

I am watching both Park and Wes.  They are antsy and anxious. The sooner this is over the better. I think they might go grey soon.

“So anything new from Lucas?”

“No, they are planning on doing a full breakdown on where everything stands tonight when we get back together.  You are now part of that equation more than they wanted since you aren’t something they can control. So it will be a good time to find things out. Both on where we stand on you and the updates for him.”

Wesson is thinking hard about something, I can tell he doesn’t like something she said.  We may not have had a lot of time with each other but reading him comes easy to me.  He looks at Park with a question about to come out of him, ready to burst when he glances at me then stops.  What can’t he say in front of me? I am about to tell him to continue, that I am okay, when he grabs the phone and hits the speaker phone button before heading outside to finish the call. 

“What’s up Lil? Why do you look like he just ran over your dog? Do you like him?”

What?

“What Park?”

“Well you look almost jealous, it’s a look I am not used to seeing on you. I was wondering if you like him.”

“I don’t know him Park. I can’t like him.”

That wasn’t a no. I can’t lie and say that I don’t like him. I mean, I love him more than anything and know that my lie wouldn’t have been very convincing. Especially since it would be me lying to Park.

“Whatever you say Lil, I know you and you… well deep down, I think there is something there. Look, like I said I wasn’t there when the shit went down between you two. But I can tell you meant something to him, I am guessing that means he meant something to you as you don’t let people in easily.”

“I don’t know anything right now Park. I know I want this over. Until then, I don’t want anything else. I don’t know what happened with him, but I am guessing you are right.”

I watch as he nods then heads out to talk to Wes.  I heard the door open and close and I laid my head down on the table. This is such a mess.

***

WESSON

I take the phone and head outside. I am not sure how I didn’t think this through when Brax said he was going to stay behind.

“Hello? Hello? Are you guys still there? Please tell me you are still there?”

“Yeah, sorry I had to get out of range from Lillian so I could ask you a question.”

“Oh thank goodness, I thought something happened. Then what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t get out to you guys in time. Braxton would never forgive me, let alone my job, and everything. I bet the cabin would have been trashed-”

“Stop Nes, we are okay. I was going to ask you about Braxton but couldn’t do that in front of Lil”

Holy shit, she rambles like all the time. I thought it was just when thinking or talking about Braxton but she is like the damn energizer bunny.

“Oh? What about him?”

“Well, I am confused. If you aren’t there and it seems like none of the other officer’s are there to stand by him, is he left unguarded?”

“What? No, why would you think that? OH! Yeah of course I see why you would I mean the way I explained everything. I always seem to leave out important detail-“

She cuts off and I hear her in the background asking someone why they did that.

“I am here Wesson. They have me attached to her side, worried I’ll run away too or you’ll come kidnap me. That or maybe Lucas will find me. I kept telling her to tell you I was here. She doesn’t listen very well when she gets focused I guess.”

I smile; it all makes so much more sense now. I see why she is rambling. The girl clearly has a raging hard-on for him and can’t think straight when he is around. I think it’s awesome.

“Oh, thank fuck because if it was something else, I would have gone down there and kidnapped you. Don’t give her too much of a hard time, she can’t mention you with Lil, we aren’t suppose to tell her things that can stress her out until she starts remembering things on her own.”

“That’s shit. What does she think happened to me?”

“Well, she does have a memory of going to your funeral.”

I wait for that to sink in. I know that he loves her, close to the amount that I love her and that would not sit well with me.  I hold the phone out away from my ear right as Parker walks outside.  Shit, Lil is left alone. I hand him the phone and tell him good luck as I head back in.  Right as I am almost all the way in I hear him.

“WHAT THE FUCK? SHE THINKS I AM DEAD?”

I look back at Parker and he flips me off. I laugh and shut the door, that’s on him now. I head into the kitchen where I last saw her and my heart breaks.  She is lying with her head on the table looking lonelier than ever. If only she knew and remembered that we have each other, we will never be alone again. 

I want to go over there and pick her up, squeezing her into my arms where she belongs. I don’t, I know that it wouldn’t be good for her.  Her eyes flutter open; fuck me, she is beautiful.  Those eyes could cut me down to a pile on the floor. I give her a small smile and she smiles back a little behind her arm. I can just barely see the edge of her lips turned up as her arms are holding up her head and blocking my view. It’s not enough so I walk over and present my hand, asking to take hers.  I don’t know if she will take it. I don’t know if I want her to. I know that I need her to though. 

Her eyes widen in surprise and I can see her calculating every option before she makes her choice.  Then her hand slips out from under her head, making it fall against the other one.  She slowly starts to put it toward mine and finally she touches my hand. I clasp hers, almost too tight, afraid to ever let go again. I can’t imagine ever losing her again. I know she isn’t back one-hundred percent, but she is here. 

“Want to do something with me love?”

She gasps and looks up at me with pinked cheeks. Oh, no! I shake my head. A larger smile spreading across my face while all sorts of dirty thoughts start running through my head I am sure she wouldn’t agree to.  What I wouldn’t kill to take her and pull her close to me, so close she would feel me growing, begging to touch her.  I would walk her backward just a few inches until her thighs hit the table.  Then, with ease, I would lift her to the sit on this wooden table.  It looks old; I hope it would be able to hold us when I did what I wanted to do with her.  I would want to be gentle so I would start with my mouth on hers, then my mouth
on her.
I would look up to watch as her body came to life from my tongue touching my sweet girl.  I would watch her wiggle, trying to contain the oncoming orgasm building its way to epic proportions.  She would lose that battle; I would make sure of it as I would slip a finger into her wetness, easing it all the way in.  I would attack her with my tongue as I would slip my finger outside of her painfully slowly.  Then, I would go back in without the tenderness with two fingers, preparing her for me.

I shake the visual out of my head. That I am sure is not something she would be up for and if I continued my fantasy, I would act before thinking about the consequences.  She is still too fragile anyway.  So I push away the desire and give into my need to be next to her. 

“How about we go watch a movie? Vanessa said she left some here for us.”

I see her brighten at the idea then stiffen a little.  I don’t know if it is the battle going on with herself or something is wrong.  It was quick though and she smiles, nodding at me.

“That sounds great Wes. Thanks.”

Wes… I love when she says my name.  I let her lead the way so I can adjust myself before she notices, if she hasn’t already.

We pile into the living room and we both sit on opposites of the couch. I would scoot toward her or ask her to come to me, but I know that would be going too fast.  Who knew making the girl who loves you fall back in love with you would be so much work? I let her choose the movie, because I want her happy. I may be a pussy that way but that’s not the only think I would let her do. Then we settle in.  Not long after it starts, she relaxes and puts her feet up on the couch, leaning toward me instead of away. Victory! Small as it may be I’ll take it. We continue watching for a bit longer before Parker decides to join us.  He asks if we want popcorn; Lil was very excited at that idea.  He looks at me, telling me to follow him without having to say it.  I excuse myself but she is too far gone in the movie to notice that I even left.  Channing Tatum seems to have that effect on most women.