White is for Virgins (36 page)

Fox’s eyes caught mine for a split second before he turned and went to Nina, closing the door behind him. I wiped my eyes with the bottom of my palms and cursed under my breath.

He’d seen me cry. He probably thought I was pathetic.

I didn’t blame him.

***

Eight thirty on the dot, Nina had left. I was blasting music and dancing around, trying to keep myself entertained. The ounces of regret rushed through my veins, and the ‘what if’ questions had hijacked my mind. There was nothing I could do, but sing.

“
Because you hot hot, chitty chitty, bang bang, chitty chitty, bang bang
,” I sang obnoxiously.

With the exception of the lamp behind the counter, all the lights were off. I was hidden from the rest of the world.

Or so I thought.

“
Oh yeah, you hot hot, chitty chitty, bang bang, chitty chit
–” I stopped, hair in my face, with the most unattractive facial expression, twisted in a mixture of surprise and awe.

The music had stopped. No,
changed
. It was slow.

Fox was about four feet away from me,
in a tux
, with his hair gelled and spikier that usual.

Good God, Mary, and Joseph…

“You were right, you know,” he said softly, that husky voice adding to his sexiness.

I arched my brow as I dropped my hands and smiled sheepishly. What was he doing here?

“Dancing is totally not your thing,” he continued, trying to keep a straight face.

I went to punch his shoulder, but his hand shot up and grabbed my wrist. I struggled to free myself from his tight, yet gentle grasp but he only pulled me closer. I growled, and he growled back teasingly as his hand grabbed my other wrist and put both of my hands around his neck. I held on with limp fingers, and his hands snaked around my waist. I was about to let go of my hold, but then, I remembered to breathe. One whiff of his cologne and I was a goner.

He licked his lips and lifted one corner of his mouth in a lopsided grin as he started swaying our bodies. I gulped and tried not to make eye contact. He must’ve taken this as a sign that I wanted to cuddle, because his chin was soon pressed lightly against the side of my face.

This is not happening…

“Not so bad, is it?” he whispered. His warm breath tickled my ear, and my fingers came to life. Attentively, the tips of my fingers brushed his hair and the skin on his neck. I could hear him smirk, so I stopped.

Shit, he is going to think I’m head over heels for him. Which I’m
not
.

Heels over head?
Perhaps.

Oh, God. Leave it to me to be interested in a player. The world is a cruel place.

Suddenly, I didn’t want this to be real. That would mean my
feelings
were real; that he was here, in the flesh, dancing with me instead of getting it on with his
two
hot dates at the dance.

“Fox, why are you here?” I asked. I waited anxiously for his answer, terrified of what he’d say and terrified that he’d let go.

We continued to sway slowly to the music.

“Because this is a great song,” he replied.

Collide
by Howie Day really was a good song, but that was beside the point.

“That the only reason?” I asked.

“We fit pretty well,” he shrugged lightly. “All the other girls at the dance are in six inch stilettos.”

We
did
fit, but I felt like he was hiding something.

“Fox…” I prodded.

“Emery,” he mimicked. He pulled away a bit, and looked at me with the same glazed eyes as before. “Are you
trying
to ruin the mood?”

“Are you drunk?” I asked in disbelief, trying to back away from me. His grip on my waist held though.

“Something like that,” he smirked.

I eyed him, deciding he was sober. There wasn’t a scent of alcohol on him, only deliciousness.

God was I losing it.

“Why aren’t you at the dance?” I asked him quietly, holding his gaze.

He bit his lip, and his gaze lowered. This time I was sure he was contemplating kissing me.
Why
it would even cross his mind? I had no clue, but the thought brought out a little color in my cheeks.

We’d been in this situation so many times before; I was becoming a little too comfortable with it. I wanted to explore new boundaries.

If only we’d get a little closer…

Just a few more centimeters… And…

Something caught my eye, or rather, some
one
.

Nina stood behind the window, smiling.

Something in my mind clicked, and my fingers released their grip on his short strands of hair. His grip was weak and I broke free easily, backing up a few steps.

Nina’s smile fell, and my glare moved from Fox, to her, and back.

He turned to see Nina in the window as well, and faced me with a guilty expression.

It’s always too good to be true.

“Emery–” he started, scratching the back of his head.

I cocked my head and crossed my arms. “What, Fox?”

He just stood there. And while my lips were aching to meet his, my legs were glued to the floor.

I nodded, managing to laugh sarcastically. “I’m sorry Nina made you waste your time on me,” I said, brushing past him to shut the music off.

“She didn’t make me do anything, and it wasn’t a waste of time,” he said, coming up behind me.

“No?” I asked, closing my notebook and snatching my pens and shoving them into my backpack. “Then what was it?” I looked up at him for a moment, not sure of what I wanted him to say.

He opened his mouth, but no words came out. He looked so frustrated; caught off guard.

“Fox, spare my feelings, ok?” I sighed, tugging on the zipper of my bag. It was caught on the fabric of the bag. I pulled on the other zipper, eager to make my escape.

“Emery, what are you doing?” he asked, watching me as I pulled my jacket on and swiped my hair out of the collar.

“Exactly what you told me to do,” I replied, speed walking to the glass door, “Walking away.”

He sighed, rubbing the back of his head.

“Lock up for me,” I muttered. “It’s the least you could do.”

Stepping out into the cold night, I started wiping my wet cheeks. I felt like an idiot,
crying
?
Really
? I cursed under my breath, sending clouds of white into the air.

Silver snowflakes fell from the dark sky in slow motion, offering me sympathy.

They couldn’t stop the tears, though.

Chapter 23

I’m over it. It’s done.

Cartel was playing on the speakers as I curled my hair. If there was anything I’d learned today thus far, it’s that beauty works at a slow pace. Beauty is only pain when it’s rushed. My fingers had learned that the hard way from the unforgiving curler.

I set the iron down, knowing my loose curls were the best I was going to get. I put on some cherry
chapstick, rubbing it in so that my lips were a shade of pale pink.

A faint car horn sounded, and I sighed with dispassion as I shut off the radio and checked myself in the mirror one last time. In a red, and rather tight, turtle-neck sweater and a white skirt, I felt like an elf. My red leggings and white fur covered boots gave me a sense of normalcy. I felt comfortable, and only semi-elfish.

Another horn sounded, and I cursed under my breath as I shut off the lights and scrambled down the stairs.

I shouldn’t have cared about how I looked. It was only Nina and Fox.

I’m over it. It’s done.

I slid into the warmth of the van behind Nina, and we drove off.

“You look
hot
, Emery,” Nina commented. I could hear her smiling, but I only muttered ‘thanks’ without bothering to make eye contact.

I noticed Fox’s silhouette in the passenger seat. Even after a week, the awkwardness remained. We didn’t talk much, unless we absolutely had to.

My lips tingled just thinking about that day.

“Are you guys excited?” Nina asked, trying to lighten the mood. The air remained silent.

The hospital was about ten minutes away, I calculated. Only ten more minutes of painful small talk…

“Emery,” Nina sighed, “Is this about last week?”

I didn’t respond. Didn’t move.