When Love Hurts and Ghosts Linger (12 page)

I hear someone scream my name “ROBYN” and a bang on the door.

“I will be back for you, one day, you will surrender to me” and he vanishes.

Jack is crying, my heart is pounding and Levi comes barging through my door. I am in my living room shaking, Jack is clutching on to me for dear life.

“What the fuck Robyn are you ok” he scans the flat, his face worried.

“Ye-Yeah I’m fine don’t worry”

“No you’re not look at you you’re shaking”

I try to control myself “I’m fine Levi just leave it”

“Fine, how can I help you if you won’t tell me” His eyes narrow, he is annoyed.

‘Because you can’t help me’
 my mind stated “Look Levi please just drop it, I’m late for work”

“That’s why I’m here to take you and then to take Jack to school”

I give him a soft smile; I can see in his eyes he is worried about me and that he is only trying to help but there is nothing he can do.

In work I feel sad and you can see it written all over my face. Over the past nine years since Jay’s death he has been coming back somehow to see me and now he was gone, that thing took him and Jay was so willing to go, still willing to protect me and Jack even though Jack came after his death.

I guess not all the guys in the world are bad, there are a few that are sweet and I had the lucky chance of having two of them in my life, Jay and now Levi.

Sitting at my desk I begin crying, I hadn’t really mourned over Jay because he was always around, I cried at his funeral but when I saw him and then kept seeing him I didn’t really grieve. My phone beeped and I look down to see a text from Levi. Oh god, I feel panicky thinking about what he is going to say.

*Hey babe hope you’re ok, look, I don’t know what was going on this morning but from what I heard outside that door frightened me, I love you and I don’t want anyone hurting you, I’m here when you’re ready to tell me xxxxxxxx*

That puts a smile on my face, I want to tell him I really do but I simply can’t, the last person I told died because of me and I didn’t want the same thing to happen to Levi.

*I love you too and I’m ok, just leave it there xxxxxxxxx*

I hit the send button not knowing if I should say more, but I can’t I don’t know what to do and now that Jay has gone, I’m betting it won't long before he will be coming back for me and Jack. Finally it’s the end of the day and I can’t wait to go get Jack and go home. When I arrive at the school to get him to my horror he isn’t there. Bloody drains from my face and I feel my knees shake.

“Where is my son?” I panic questioning the teacher.

“Uhh gone miss, he’s not here, someone collected him”

I grip her by her collar “YOU LET SOMEONE YOU DON’T KNOW TAKE MY SON”

I let go and run out of the building and I run all the way home. I thought that thing monster this thing has my son. When I arrive outside the flat I fumble around for my keys dropping them on the floor because my hands are shaking so bad, at that moment my door opens and there is Levi with Jack in my flat.

I launch at him “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”

He seems shocked “Woah I picked him up for you and thought we would surprise you….”

Panic is all over my face and I’m waving my arms around like a loon “why didn’t you fucking text me and tell me then you idiot do you know how scared I was that that thing had taken him and I wouldn’t be able to find him I…..”

I can see his puzzled face looking at me, all he did was take Jack home which I guess would have been fine but I was panicking and probably over-reacting I guess.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he’s frowning at me.

“Nothing, nothing, I was just worried that’s all, I’m fine” I state quickly trying to hide the tremor in my voice.

“No you’re not Robyn something is up” he looks at me for answers.

I manage a smile “I’m ok really….”

Levi is looking at me with the look that says 
‘I know something is up I want to help’  
but I love this man so much, I don’t want to tell him my reasons for being edgy and concerned, I don’t want to lose him. We carry on with our evening, Levi cooking and Jack playing with his toys whilst I am avoiding the subject of why I’m so weird.

Standing in the kitchen I feel a chill, I look around and see the window is open so I close it thinking that was the reason, as usual though I’m wrong. I feel the hairs go up on the back of my neck and the shiver run down my spine.

“Help me” 

I hear the whisper and I know there is someone there with me, for fucks sake, Levi is in the kitchen with me as I’m helping him cook and this has to happen now. I turn and see the old man, he’s back, somehow I don’t know.

“Help me” he whispers.

I look into his ghostly eyes, they are clouded almost, no colour, no pupil just clouds.

“I don’t know how” I whisper back.

“You talking to me” Levi asks as he’s cooking.

I look at the ghost and then at Levi “Uhhh no, excuse me.”

I leave the flat and go outside into the back secluded garden, the coldness of this ghost follows me. When I turn around he is there hovering, he looks so sad, his arm missing and a wound to the neck.

“Help me” he repeats to me.

“I can’t help you I don’t know how” I close my eyes to stop from crying.

I see the sadness in his face, his boys are gone and it’s just the old man, what am I mean to do? How am I meant to help them?

I’m outside for a while and it starts to rain, I feel the cold water trickling down my skin but I can’t move as more and more ghosts appear. In the garden I’m surrounded by them. All with their arm missing and all with wounds, what the fuck am I meant to do?

“Please help us” their ghostly voices speak to me in unison.

“I can’t don’t you see that I can’t” I’m panting nervously.

They all seem to organise themselves into rows, one row behind the other on different levels all staring down at me. Their faces change, they become still, expressionless, their eyes fixed on me and not moving.

“They call him the Fearless, he takes us and keeps us so that he can use us to make to make him stronger, he wants your son so he can live again, he wants your soul so he can cross over, he will come for you, he will take you to the darkness, in the darkness we all suffer, we suffer in the darkness, we endure all the pain….”

Bile rises in my throat as I suddenly feel very sick, I’m shaking, their ghostly voices are frightening the shit out of me.

“He can try and take me but he will not get my son, please help me please” tears well up, my voice pleads with them.

The rain pours heavier and the wind picks up but the ghosts are not affected, just me. My hair is flapping all over the place, is it the weather or is it them? My god I’m so confused, I just want this to stop.

I shout to them over the sounds or the wind and rain “I DON’T WANT THIS ANYMORE, I CANT HELP YOU DON’T YOU GET IT, HE WILL NEVER TAKE MY SON NEVER!”

At that moment Levi comes outside, he could hear me shouting obviously as our window looks directly onto the garden. There I am stood there, on my own as far as he can see, wet and with a wind-swept look and I’m screaming into thin air. Fuck knows what I look like right now.

He walks up to me “Robyn come inside its raining.”

I hold back tears as he wraps a coat around me and leads me inside. The house is freezing so I’m shivering, Levi is looking at me weird, the heating is on but I feel so cold. I look and there on my sofa is a little girl, her face filled with sadness and pain, her arm isn’t missing and she doesn’t have a neck wound. I stare at her, I can feel Levi’s arms around me but I’m fixated on this little girl, unable to move.

“I want my mummy” she cries out.

I turn and look at Levi “Can you go put Jack to bed please”

I need to get him out of the room, I give him the 
‘I’m ok look’  
and I think he guesses that I’m telling him to give me some space because without question he goes into Jack’s room and gets him ready for bed.

I slowly approach this dead girl on my sofa “Where is your mummy?”

“She was in the park and then I got lost” she doesn’t stop crying.

I whisper checking if Levi is still in Jack’s room “do you want to show me?”

Why the fuck am I helping her? I don’t know, I guess it’s because she’s a little girl and her mother is probably distraught, I would be too if it were Jack. She disappears through my front door, without saying anything I sneak back out and follow her.

Damn this ghost moves fast because I’m practically running behind her to keep up. I don’t know where I’m going or where she is taking me but she’s eager to show me. She leads me to an open rugby field, it’s dark and the mud is soppy and getting all over my feet, not a bright idea to wear fucking ballerina type shoes in this weather.

I see her ghostly image in the distance; it stops and just hovers next to some bushes. I walk over and I almost throw up by what I can see. There in the bushes is a body of a little girl, lying down as if she is sleeping, she has on a pink t-shirt and blue jeans, her hair is blonde and messy and she looks the size about seven or eight, I can’t see her face though, it’s covered in leaves and it’s dark, but I am guessing this is her.

I turn and she’s hovering behind me, “Is this you?”

She nods yes to me “I want my mummy.”

I look around, it’s dark but there’s lights from the houses that surround the field and next to it is a park, how could someone do this to her in such an open space without being seen. I get out my phone and call the police.

“Police how may I assist you?” the woman seems formal.

“Uh h-hi I…..” I pause, I’m jittery and you can tell in my voice.

“Hello? You still there?” the voice prompts.

“Sorry yes I’m here, I need help; I’ve found a body….”

“I’m sorry ma’am, did you say a body?” 

I hear her typing on the keyboard, “Yes, a little girl, please someone come….”

“Where are you?” her voice is alarmed.

“I’m in the field next to the park by Richmond Road….”

“I’m sending someone; police are on their way ma’am”

I hang up and put my phone in my pocket, this little girl is still hovering next to me, the sight of her body lying there on the floor is making me feel sick, I try and claw back my emotions.

“What’s your name?”

Her expression changes to friendly “Lucy, is my mummy coming?”

My voice is soft, “No sweetie the policeman is coming to help ok and I will help find your mummy, I’m Robyn.”

She smiles at me as if I’m her friend, like she trusts me.

“Lucy, how old are you?”

“I’m eight”

I don’t know what I’m doing, I guess I’m gaining her trust but I have no idea how she ended up here, I’m not sure I want to know but if this was my son I guess I’d want anyone to help.

“Can you tell me what….”

I’m cut off by the swirling bright blue lights and siren sounds pulling up next to the field. Police officers come over quickly, torch lights all aimed at me as I’m standing by the bush, dogs barking, oh it’s all going on right now.

“Ma’am I’m detective Shufflebottom” he calls out as he approaches me.

I push my lips together trying to laugh at his name, who the fuck has a name like that, sounds like he graduated from Hogwarts, the voice in my head is pissing itself right now. But I dare laugh out loud; this is actually quite a serious situation.

“Hi I’m Robyn….” I put my hand up to block the bright light coming from the torches.

They all walk over and see the lifeless body of a child lying there in the bushes, next to her is a teddy and a necklace. The detective and the police all gather round, pictures being taken, he turns and looks at me, I know he is going to start questioning me but waiting for them I had a chance to think of something in my head.

“Ma’am you ok to speak to me” his voice seems stern, like I’m guilty.

“Yes of course….” My voice a little hoarse.

“Can you tell me how it is you come across this...”

I cut him off “Look before you go jumping to conclusions in your mind that I have done something wrong I suggest you listen to me, I will give you anything you need,”

I see the look in his eyes that says he thinks I’m guilty, he takes out his notepad and pen and looks at me like 
‘well go on then.’

I tut and roll my eyes, Lucy’s little ghost is hovering behind him “I came up here for a walk, I needed some fresh air so I came up here for a walk, I walked across the field and something caught my eye, like a twinkle, I walked over, out of curiosity I guess, and then….” Lucy distracts me, she’s pointing at her own body, my eyes drift to her to which he clearly notices.

“Ma’am?” he prompts for the end of my sentence.

“Ummm sorry, yeah I found her and then I called you guys straight away….” My heart is pounding, I’m lying through my teeth but honestly what was I meant to say.

‘There’s a dead girl floating behind you and she led me here and showed me all this….’  
Oh yes I’m sure that would go down well wouldn’t it. I can feel my phone vibrating in my pocket but I ignore it, off the top off my head I can guess that it’s Levi ringing me but I can’t deal with that right now. My attention turns back to the detective who’s still fishing for information.

“Do you know the girl ma’am?”

I look shocked “No of course not”

Lucy’s ghost speaks up “Yes you do I told you”

I look at her a mouth to her to 
‘Shhh’  
I see her scowl at me, like the child she is, you know, when a child doesn’t get their own way, they give you that face. The officer is looking at me strange, I guess he’s trying to figure out if I’m lying to him or telling the truth, like I had something to do with this obvious murder of a little girl.

I feel like I’ve been here for hours, talking to the detective who’s name makes me chuckle whenever I think of it, people all around, police, forensics, dogs, like a massive police parade of people. I still feel my phone buzzing in my pocket, Lucy is hovering next to me and won’t go away and I know Levi is ringing me, what am I going to say to him?