Whatever It Takes (Second Chances #2) (15 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

tess

R
yan had a mouthful of pizza and was showing Noah how to fold a slice in half before taking a bite when someone knocked on the door. Today was Noah’s official birthday and I had splurged and bought pizza and ice cream to celebrate.

I was still smiling when I pulled it open. “Hello?”

An unfamiliar man stood there. “Are you Tess Maxwell?”

“Yes.” I smiled again but he didn’t smile back. Instead, he held out a large manila envelope.

“Tess Maxwell?”

I nodded.

“You’ve just been served.” Then he turned and walked down the steps without another word.

I stood staring after him in shock.

“What the hell was that about?” Ryan asked from behind me.

“I don’t know.” The envelope felt like it weighed a hundred pounds in my hand. I racked my brain to try to remember if I owed money to anyone, but I knew that I didn’t. I shut the door and slowly moved to the couch.

Ryan’s gaze followed me, but he went and sat back down next to Noah.

My fingers shook as I tore open the envelope. The papers inside were thick and held together by a paper clip, and I started to pull them out.

NOTICE OF HEARING TO TERMINATE TEMPORARY GUARDIANSHIP.

The words hit my brain like shrapnel. God, no. I yanked them out and read as fast as I could. Tears blurred my vision and I choked on a sob. No, no, no. I covered my mouth to try to keep from screaming.

My father was terminating my guardianship of Noah because he was essentially selling him. He was terminating his parental rights and adopting Noah out to another family. Damn him to hell, he knew how much I loved Noah, how much I wanted to keep him part of my life. He was my brother. My blood.

“Tess?” Ryan called out, and it sounded like it was coming from inside a long tunnel. I looked up and stared blankly across the room. I had nothing to fight him with. He was Noah’s father and he held all the cards.

I had been going along with everything he asked for two and a half years and had hoped that the next visit would be the one where I convinced him I should have Noah permanently, but now . . . now I was going to lose the little boy I loved more than life. Why? Why was he doing this to me today of all days?

The couch moved as Ryan sat down and tugged the papers from my grasp.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he gritted out. “Does this mean what I think it does?”

“He’s . . .” I looked over at Noah and gave him a watery smile. “Hey, Noah, Ryan and I are going to go sit on the steps outside and talk. I’ll leave the door open, but you can build something really cool for us, okay?”

His eyes lit up and he pushed himself off the low chair. “Okay.”

Pressure built in my chest and I struggled to stand up and get outside before it burst. Ryan took my arm and guided me out the door, and I leaned against him hoping I would not fall down. My legs were like rubbery sticks and I couldn’t feel my fingers.

“Your father still has actual custody of Noah?” Ryan asked as soon as we sat.

“Yes. I tried to get him to give me full custody, but he refused. Said I had to finish school and he would not allow my life to be ruined by taking care of some kid. I’ve had to prove myself over and over again to that man. He acts like Noah isn’t even his own flesh and blood. I’ve been doing just fine so far. Yes, maybe things haven’t gone as fast or as easy as I hoped, but I wouldn’t trade a single day of it. I should have known this would happen. I should have prepared for it.” I hung my head and drove my nails into my thighs.

“How do you prepare for something like this?” he asked. He snaked his arm around my shoulders and pulled me against his body.

It was nice to have someone there to lean on. Even if he wasn’t a permanent part of my life.

The court date was in three weeks. I had only twenty-one days to figure this out.

Maybe my father could see reason. What if I took Noah to see him in prison, to show Dad I was doing just fine. I could tell him I just finished my associate’s degree and was applying to a bunch of colleges, and he would see that Noah and I were fine.

Then he’d give
me
full custody.

It shouldn’t matter one way or the other to him if I raised Noah. He never cared about his son. It was just a reminder of how much he had screwed up.

“I can help,” he said in my ear. “Anything you need is yours.”

When was the last time I had anyone on my side? God, a part of me wanted to just put it all in his lap and let him take care of it like he offered. One second. That’s what I gave myself to even think that way before I sat up straighter.

I’d gotten us through the last two and a half years, I could fix this too.

“I’ve got this.” I gave him a smile that I knew wasn’t quite real. I had no idea if my father would go for my idea, but I had nothing to lose by asking. “But thank you.”

He didn’t look convinced and started to say something, but I threw my hand over his mouth.

“This is my fight; Noah is my responsibility. I appreciate you wanting to help, but I can do this on my own.”

“But you shouldn’t have to, Tess.”

Those words ripped right through my chest. Before Ryan came back into my life, I’d been content with what I had. Taking care of Noah was enough for now, except Ryan awakened all these feelings I’d pushed deep down inside and I found that I wanted to be around him more than I should for our arrangement. This connection between us was temporary, even though my heart already felt like it was more.

Ryan made it clear that he never wanted anything more than just casual, and honestly, I had so much more that I needed to do before I was ready for a serious relationship. It . . . wasn’t our time. Again.

“We should get back inside. No telling what Noah’s up to in there.” I pushed to my feet, and Ryan grabbed my hand.

“It’s not a one-time offer. Open-ended. Just so you know.”

“Thank you, Ryan.”

T
uesday morning I got Noah bathed and dressed in his nicest outfit. I had on jeans and a casual blouse and had pulled my hair back into a ponytail. I had never taken Noah with me when I went to see my father at Harnett Correctional Institution. Noah knew I wasn’t his real mom, but I sure as hell didn’t want him knowing that the man in the orange jumpsuit behind bars was his father. I pushed that thought away. Today was about making my father see that I was capable of being Noah’s permanent guardian.

“Where are we going?” Noah asked from the backseat.

My throat started to itch. What was I supposed to tell him?

I already dreaded the day that he was old enough to know the real truth behind his birth. But that day wasn’t going to be today.

“There is someone I need to visit and you’re coming with me. ’Kay?” The
only
reason I was taking Noah was so that my father could see that he was healthy and happy and that I’d done a damned good job. Could still do it. “I got you a new coloring book and crayons to use while he and I talk.”

“Superheroes?” he squealed.

“Maybe,” I hinted with a smile.

Noah talked the rest of the hour-long drive about how awesome the Hulk and Superman and even Iron Man were. I teared up listening to him. There was no way I’d ever let anyone else have him. Noah and I belonged together, and nothing was ever going to change that.

I pulled into a space marked
VISITOR
and cut the engine. The place was huge and it never failed to intimidate me, though I had been there a half dozen times. Fences and barbed wire and guards standing around all over the place. With a deep breath I unbuckled Noah and grabbed my bag.

Just inside the door a guard stepped up and asked for my name, my ID, and who I was there to see. He checked his list, then nodded and guided us to where we had to walk through a huge metal detector.

Noah clutched my hand tight and looked up at me. I was having so many regrets, but it was too late. I’d made the appointment right after Ryan left on Tuesday night and we had only an hour to see my father today. What I had to ask him could not wait.

“It’s okay. We just have to walk through and we’re done.” I gave Noah an encouraging smile, and with a nod, he stepped through, his eyes wide and shining with uncertainty. I followed and my bag was searched and then we were done.

We waited with several other people and then followed yet another guard to the visiting area. It was basically a large room with tables spread throughout. There were men already sitting at the tables and several more guards stood around the room. My heart thundered against my ribs.

I could feel myself growing tense. Being around my father did that. He was demanding and uncompromising and I’d never won an argument with him. Today, though, I
had
to.

I looked around the room until I saw him. When our gazes met, he looked down and his eyes narrowed. And just like that, I felt like I was fifteen again. I walked stiffly over to the table and lifted Noah up to sit as far away from him as possible. I got out his coloring book and crayons and kissed his cheek.

“You just color as much as you like while I talk to this man, okay?”

He gave me a grin, already thumbing through the coloring book to find his favorite characters. I sat down across from my father. “Hello, Dad.”

“Can’t say I’m surprised to see you, Tess.” He sat back and crossed his arms over his chest.

So he wanted to cut right to it, did he? “Why are you doing this?” I kept my voice low and my tone neutral, desperate for Noah not to pick up on anything being amiss. “I’ve done everything you asked for the past two and a half years.”

His gaze sharpened. “And what have you done with
your
life in that time?”

“I got my degree. I kept us fed and clothed and a roof over our heads.” And I am damned proud of what I’ve accomplished.

My father snorted and something like victory flashed across his face. “Three years to get a two-year degree? How long will it take you to get a BA? Five years this time? And then your master’s like you planned. You’ll be thirty before you even get out of school. How are you going to earn your degree taking care of him?” When he jerked his head at Noah, but couldn’t even bother to look at him, I glared at him and resisted the urge to wrap my hands around his neck and squeeze tight.

“The same way I’ve done so far. I’ve managed to take care of him and me, Dad. I want full custody. You don’t care anyway.”

“Well, see, this is where there’s a problem with your plan, your future aside. I get out in three months.”

My mouth dropped open. He was supposed to serve eight years. It had been only a little over three.

“Overcrowding. Good behavior. Whatever the reason, I’m out very soon. I have nothing. People will pay good money for a healthy toddler. Private adoption. I was damned surprised when I looked it up on the Internet.”

Bile rose in my throat. Oh, God, he was selling Noah for the money?

He was a monster.

“How much?” I managed to get out past the thickening of my throat. Maybe there was some way I could—

“Thirty thousand. Already got someone interested.”

My vision went hazy. “You can’t do this.” Tears burned my eyes and I fought the urge to throw back my head and scream.

“I can. You’re only a temporary guardian, Tess. This will help you too. You’ll be free. You can go back to Brown. Get your real degree just like we planned. Then you can start the life you should have, not this one you’re settling for.”

“Please just let me have him,” I pleaded. “You won’t ever have to see him, won’t have to have anything to do with him, but I can’t lose him.”

My hands shook as I held them out, begging my father.

“It’s not a negotiation.”

At those words, my heart broke. I knew there was nothing else I could say to him. Nothing I could do. This was a path so familiar that there were deep worn spots.

I reached blindly for Noah. “Why don’t you put those away, okay, sweetie? We’re all done now.”

When my fingers brushed over the curls at the back of his neck, I almost lost it.

Noah put away his things and I stuffed them into my bag. I got up without looking at my father and took Noah’s hand.

“Who is that?” Noah finally asked.

My father lifted an eyebrow at me. Daring me to tell him.

“That,” I said with a shaky breath, “is a very bad man.”

I walked away without another word and didn’t let the tears fall until I was back on the road toward home.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

ryan

I
’d been waiting for Tess to text or call since this morning.

When the guys broke for lunch, I jumped in my truck and hauled ass to her place. I didn’t even know if she was back yet, but I had a sick feeling in my stomach that I couldn’t shake.

Her car was in her spot when I pulled in.

So why hadn’t she called?

I ran up the steps and knocked on her door. When it swung open, it wasn’t Tess who answered. Louisa, who I’d met a few weeks ago when I stopped by and Tess was at work, looked worried.

“I’m looking for Tess.”

“Ryan!” I heard, and then a bundle of a four-year-old came flying toward me. I kneeled down and he threw his arms around my neck.

“Hey, buddy, how are you?”

Noah leaned in close. “We saw a bad man today. Tess cried in the car.”

I glanced up at Louisa. “Where is she?”

After only a moment’s hesitation, she answered. “There’s a dive bar two blocks from here. She said she needed to think. She looked . . . not in a good way. I’m not sure what happened today, but it’s almost as if her spirit broke. I’ve never seen her look so defeated.”

Louisa frowned, and I stood and handed Noah back to her.

I could feel my heart thumping against my ribs. The meeting with her father must have gone worse than she thought it would. Goddamn that man. I hated him seven years ago and I loathed him now.

There was no way in hell Tess was going to lose Noah.

I ran down the steps and pulled out my phone. When Avery answered I didn’t waste any time. “I need the name of the best fucking family attorney in the area.”

“Ryan? What’s wrong?”

“I just need a name.” I was jogging down the block and realized I hadn’t even taken off my tool belt. The hammer hanging from it bumped my thigh with every step. “Like yesterday.”

“Let me talk to my dad and I’ll call you back. It would help if I had more details, though.”

“Someone who can terminate parental rights because the father is a blackhearted bastard. That enough detail?” I snapped. The bar was just ahead and even in the middle of the day, it really was a dive.

“Oh. Okay. I’ll see what I can do.”

I exhaled. “I’m sorry, Ave. This is just really screwed-up. I’ll tell you more when you call back with a name, but I have to go now.” I pocketed my phone and pulled open the door below a sign that read
TIME OUT
.

The place was fairly empty, so it was easy to find Tess. She was in the corner, draped over a mug that sat untouched, but there were three empty ones around her on the table. Her shoulders were shaking so hard that the table shook. I clenched my fists. God, I just needed three minutes alone with her old man. To make him pay for hurting her so much.

“Tess?” I croaked out.

She looked up and everything inside me shattered. She looked destroyed. Utterly devastated, and all I could do was groan and pull her up and into my arms. I held her against my chest and felt her whole body shaking. Low moans were coming from her throat, and it scared the living shit out of me.

My girl was strong and determined, and seeing her completely falling apart like this made my knees weak. “Tess, baby. What happened?”

When she didn’t answer, I leaned back so I could cradle her face between my hands. I wiped at the tears streaming down her face with my thumbs. Her eyes were unfocused and I lifted her face so that she was looking at me.

“Baby, it’s Ryan. Talk to me.”

She blinked. Then blinked again, and I could see her coming back to herself a little.

“Ryan?” She hiccupped before I watched everything inside her collapse. “Oh, God. I . . . he’s . . . I can’t . . .” The words punched out between the racking sobs and I sat down and pulled her onto my lap.

I needed to know what happened so I could fix it. I
had
to fix it, because seeing Tess like this was destroying me.

I held her close to me and worked my other hand up and down her back. “I’m here. It’s okay. Whatever happened, we can deal with it.”

“He’s selling Noah.”

“What?” I must have heard her wrong. I swear she said . . .

“My father is selling Noah to the highest bidder.”

“What the fuck?”

Tess finally sat back a little and looked at me. “He’s getting early release and he needs money. He figured out that people will pay a lot of money to privately adopt a healthy child. So he’s selling Noah so that he’ll have money when he is released.” Hysterical laughter bubbled from her throat.

If that wasn’t the most fucked-up thing I’d ever heard in my life, nothing was. “How much?”

“I guess you can buy a child for the bargain price of around thirty thousand dollars these days,” she choked out. “I don’t have anywhere near that kind of money. There’s only one thing I can do. I’ve been thinking about it since we drove away. I have to take Noah and go somewhere else.”

“What?” A chill ran down my spine. She was thinking about running?

“Nothing is more important than Noah. We’ll just . . . disappear. I’ll get a fake ID or something and we’ll move far away and my father won’t be able to sell Noah because he won’t be able to find us. Ever.”

Jesus. She wasn’t thinking clearly. “If you don’t show up at court, they’ll issue an arrest warrant, Tess. You’re father can have you charged with kidnapping. If you’re caught . . .”

“We won’t be. I’ll be careful.” She blinked and looked deep into my eyes. Her hand was warm when it settled on my jaw. “I have to do this. There is no other way. I won’t lose him. He’s my life now.”

God, she looked so calm while talking about breaking the law. She was drunk, not making sense.

“Tess, I can—” Her hand moved to cover my mouth.

“I’m glad that we ran into each other, Ryan. These last few weeks have been the best that I can remember in a long time. But I’m glad we never tried to make this more than it was. It’s hard enough knowing I won’t ever see you again.”

Tess pressed her lips against mine and I wanted to yell loudly enough to bring down the fucking roof. “Tess, you’re not thinking straight. There has to be another way. I asked Avery to get me the name of the best attorney in the city. We’ll fight this. Do it right.”

“I appreciate that you want to help, I really do. I just can’t take the chance that I’ll lose. This is the only way I can guarantee I won’t lose Noah.”

Shit. I had to do something before
she
did something that was going to ruin her entire life. Kidnapping was a federal offense. Her life would be over if she did this and got caught.

“Baby, I’m going to take you back home. You need to rest, okay?”

She gave me a sad smile but let me help her to her feet. We walked out of the bar hand in hand, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt more disconnected from someone. She threw a switch between us. She was already pulling away.

I’d never been more scared in my life.

What if she disappeared before I could take care of this? Because I was going to. If that bastard wanted money, I was going to shove it down his throat. If karma was the bitch everyone says she is, he’d choke on it.

I got Tess back to her apartment and Louisa took one look at her and ushered her into the bedroom. A few minutes later, she came back out. “I had her take a couple of aspirin before she fell asleep. It should help.”

“I need to go take care of a few things, but can you stay with her? I should be back in a few hours.”

“Of course.” Louisa looked at Noah and then back at me. “Noah really likes you. After you left, he told me all about the things you do with him. He needs that, a good man in his life. She does too.”

“And I’m going to make sure they have that. I’ll see you in a bit.”

As soon as I hit the pavement I pulled out my phone.

“Ryan. I was just going to call you,” Avery said.

“Slight change of plans. I need someone who can take care of a business transaction for me. Discreetly.”

“Okay, now I’m going to need a little more information, Ryan. And don’t worry, this is just between us. I may not be an attorney yet, but I know how important client confidentiality is.”

So I told her everything, including what I wanted to do.

“Jesus,” she said when I finished. “I’d like to kick that man in the balls with my pointiest shoes. So you’re sure you want to do this?”

“No question about it. And I need it done yesterday. Ave, Tess is thinking about taking Noah and running.”

“Shit, that’s serious. Does she know—”

“I told her and she doesn’t care. All she sees is protecting Noah.”

“I’ll go to my dad. He may be the mayor, but he’s still an attorney. He can draw up the papers so they are ironclad and he’ll be able to find out who that bastard’s attorney is. And, umm . . . the money? Do you need some time . . .”

“Is a bank check okay?” I asked. “I can have it in about an hour.”

“Oh.” Avery sounded surprised, and I guess I couldn’t blame her. I was a construction worker who lived in a trailer park. About as cliché as they come. But for Tess, there wasn’t any question. I was going to use every cent of the money my mother gave me to help her. “When you have that, go ahead and take it to my dad. I’ll make sure his people know you’re coming. But, Ryan, if this guy’s the asshole you say he is, there’s a chance that he’ll want more.”

“Whatever he wants, I’ll take care of.”

“This is an awful lot to do for someone who’s just a casual hookup,” she said softly.

I sighed. “It was never just that, Ave.” Saying it out loud made it feel more real, but I’d known it for weeks. I may have said I don’t do the whole picket-fence thing, but damn it, with Tess I wanted it all.

I could hear the smile in Avery’s voice. “About time you admitted it. I’ll call my dad as soon as we hang up. And, Ryan, you should tell Tess everything. This is kind of a huge thing you’re doing and if she finds out after—”

“When the time’s right I will.” Which would likely be never, but if she did and she ended up hating me, it would still be worth it. “Thanks, Ave. Seth is a lucky guy.”

“I tell him that every day,” she said with a laugh. “See ya.”

After she ended the call, I jumped into my truck to head to the bank. I wanted everything taken care of so nothing could go wrong. And it needed to be done right now, because Tess was crazy enough to do exactly what she said she was going to.

And there was no way in hell I was going to let her walk away from me again.

Not when I knew she was the only girl for me.