What a Girl Needs (24 page)

“I’m going to bed. Brea was here today?”

“Yeah,” I pause. “How’d you know?”

“There was a full roll of toilet paper in the guest bathroom. I didn’t think you’d done it.”

“Well, thank you for that.”

The world has gone stark-raving mad, and maybe having friends is overrated. Chaos is a dust cloud that follows me everywhere. I’m craving my sorry, little lonely life in Philly where I talk to the gal who walks her dog at the same time as I do. Maybe I should look into becoming a hermit.

‡

I
t’s nearly noon
when we arrive at Emily’s hotel. I texted her our ETA and she’s waiting out front in a sea of trunks and suitcases. “Seriously, how much did that cost her to get here?” Kay asks.

“She looks like she’s leaving on an International voyage, rather than going across the Bay to wine country. Maybe you and I don’t expect enough from life, Kay. Emily dreams something and it’s like God snaps His fingers.”

Emily is wearing a chic, bohemian-style top with a leather belt that hangs vicariously below her tiny belly and navy leggings. Her hair is tied back with a yellow scarf as she twirls a tendril around her forefinger while talking to a uniformed bellmen.

“How do some women get away with flirting while pregnant?” Kay asks me while maneuvering her Prius in the hotel’s driveway.

“Right?” Looking at Kay’s fragile state, this seems like the worst idea possible. “Why don’t you let me drop you back home?”

“It’s not really your place to decide.” Kay cuts the silent engine, and gets out of the car.

“I meant—”

“I know what you meant, Ashley.” Kay shuts the door and walks toward my sister-in-law. “Emily, good to see you.” Kay pumps Emily’s hand in a most unsouthern fashion.

“I can’t thank you enough for doing this, Kay. Ashley texted me that we wouldn’t have to rent a car, and I was so grateful, I nearly burst into tears. I’ve got so much on my mind, as it is.” She presses the back of her hand to her forehead.

Seriously? If she breaks into the ‘never be hungry again’ speech, I give up.

“Nah, it’s nothing. I’m glad to have the diversion, to be honest. Not to mention they’ve been nagging me to take vacation days. You should have heard my boss stammer this morning when I told him I was going to wine country.
But you don’t drink, Kay
, he said.”

I’m just gonna say it. Kay’s a bigger person than I am. The lovefest between these two is enough to make me vomit.

The bellmen helps load Emily’s suitcases into the trunk. He has to resort to piling the rest in the backseat. Emily, oblivious as always, slides into the backseat, straightens her back, crosses her legs at the ankles and sets her hands on her lap as the bellmen does as she expects and closes the door.

Kay, noticing the bellman’s empty palm, pulls a few bucks out of her back pocket and hands him a tip. I make a mental note to add that to my growing debt to her, along with gas, and a heaping helping of humility that I clearly do not possess.

Emily’s posture remains erect, as if she’s waiting to be served afternoon tea, rather than being banished to the country to wait out the arrival of her baby. If she’s self-conscious at all, it does not show in her wide, bright eyes—it seems as if she’s off to tour the Continent, and if I’ve learned anything in my years of knowing her, it’s probably true. Life will work out for Emily. Consequences will be thwarted, or dashed off to other, more plebian members of society. Like me for example.

“I’ve never been to wine country,” Emily drawls. “It’s ironic that I should go to the wine country when I’m unable to drink, is it not?”

I turn in the front seat to face her. “Are you sure this is necessary?”

“It’s not safe at your house, Ashley. We’ve already established that fact. Your parents’ friends don’t seem to think I’ll be burden. Once you help me get my legal affairs in order, you needn’t worry about me any longer.” She brushes her palms together. “You can wipe your hands of me.”

I’d just as soon give my baby to a pack of wolves over Emily, so I’m concerned that she’s got the opportunity to be a mother.

“I imagine Fish and Clara won’t even notice my presence.”

Oh they’ll notice.

Kay, skipping all social graces, goes right for the jugular. “I have to admit, Emily. I didn’t think you southern girls ended up pregnant out of wedlock. This guy doesn’t even want the child? If I thought anyone would jam a ring on it, you’re the first person to come to mind.”

“It’s not exactly as uncouth as all that,” Emily says with her drawl intact. “His family is against the relationship. He’s their meal ticket, and as such, he has a responsibility to his family. I told my family he didn’t want a child so they’d let us figure it out.”

“So he’s a Mama’s boy,” Kay says.

“His upright position in the community is very important to him. I’m sure you understand about appearances in the South.”

“But that’s not honest, is it?” Kay says. “Knocking someone up and not taking responsibility is the worst kind of dirt ball move. As far as appearances go, what do you tell people about your bulging appearance? I mean, even if he wants the kid, your family is right to be concerned about the guy.”

Emily’s eyes flash ever so slightly and she speaks her next words through a clenched jaw. “I wouldn’t say that it’s bad form. Certainly, it’s inconvenient, and ill timed, but it is my current situation and I do deal in reality—” Emily glares at me. “I know many people may think I live in a fantasy world, but I assure you, I am very aware of my present circumstances and how they appear.”

I can’t turn around, nor take my eyes off my sister-in-law. The way she speaks it’s as if we should all take her route, and if only we’d thought of it first, we might have. Something isn’t right. I know in my bones that Emily’s act is for our benefit. The question is, why?

“I want to know why you had Kevin bring you here. You acted as if you were in some kind of danger,” I blurt, emphasis on
acted
.

“Oh, I was! But we’ll talk about that later. This is a ride for us girls to do some chatting.”

“I know football is a religion down there,” Kay says. “No one I know here actually follows it, but I imagine this guy is like the Second Coming in the South. That doesn’t let him free of his responsibility, and I’m shocked you’d let him, Emily.”

I watch Emily’s hands curl up into small, tight fists, the outside of her fingers laced by her white hot anger, but it isn’t long before she unclasps her hands, and that genteel grin crosses her face once again.

“How long will it take to get there, do you think?” Emily asks. “I think it’s best we not discuss my circumstances at present. Suffice it to say, Josh is a good man. He’ll prove himself worthy. His family? Well, that remains to be seen.”

“He should have married you.” Kay shrugs, and pulls out of the hotel’s circular driveway.

It’s going to be a long ride
.

“It’s his family. They don’t like me.”

“Why not? You know you marry the whole family, right?”

Advice I myself might have heeded.

“Once the baby comes, they’ll see how much their son loves me. It’s his brother mostly. He wants to control every aspect of his life. His brother is who came to Philly – who I ran from.”

“So why didn’t you tell your brother that, rather than have him worry?”

“Can we talk about something else, do you think?”

Something about Emily’s story doesn’t add up. I can’t put my finger on it, but she makes no sense, and the story keeps changing. First, she’s in danger, then she’s just worried about his reputation.

“What’s his name?” Kay asks. “I can’t pray for his profound wispiness if I don’t know his name.”

I groan. “Kay!” I raise my brows, “Wispiness?”

“I thought it was a southern way to say wimpy. Genteel, if you will.”

“It’s all right, Ashley. I know what it looks like,” Emily says. “If I didn’t know him as well as I do—”

“In the Biblical sense,” Kay says with a chuckle. Kay can be utterly crass at times, but pitting her against Emily is like bringing Victorian society to a biker BBQ.

Emily’s mouth flattens. “If I didn’t know him as well as I do, then I might think the same of him. Speaking of babies, Ashley, when are you going to give my brothah a newborn that he can take home with him?”

“I suppose it isn’t the same as it used to be. Lots of people having babies first, marrying later,” Kay says as a peace offering. “No judgment, Emily. It’s just you don’t seem the type, that’s all.”

I’m so grateful for Kay and her bulldozing ways. I can’t imagine saying these same things to Emily, even if I was thinking them. I see no reason that she should be forced to leave town, her parents and the life she’s known and bear her “shame” alone while this yahoo dances on television like some clean-cut sports hero everyone in the south will want their daughters to marry. It’s despicable, and I can’t imagine what it’s like for Kevin being forced to keep Emily’s secret. If there even is a secret.

“Oh, not in the South. Not when your mother is in the right social circles.”

“Well, my mother is definitely not in the right social circles,” Kay says. “Unless you count your local AA chapter. They know her name there, unfortunately.”

“I don’t,” Emily says with a more pronounced drawl as she pats her stomach. “So Ashley? A little cousin playmate for us?”

“Not yet,” is all I say.

“You’re quiet about my shunning, Ashley. Don’t you have an opinion on my sequestering?”

“Emily, I’m worried for you. You’re really willing to have a baby, all by yourself, with complete strangers by your side? I mean, I’ll come back when the baby comes, but why would you want to go through this alone? I don’t understand it.”

“I don’t know what choice I have.”

“You have a million choices, Emily. It’s not like your parents are poor. They can protect you by arming that mansion of theirs, but from what I understand, it’s his brother who is dangerous? Or him?”

Emily’s eyes dart about as she searches for the right answer.

“You’re clearly not too ashamed to have the baby, so why hide?” I persist. “Go home where you can be with family.”

“I’m hiding from the scoffing, of course. I don’t care what that old country club set thinks of me. I’m beyond help as far as they’re concerned, anyway. But that’s my mother’s whole life and I can’t make my shame, hers.”

“I’m sure she wouldn’t see it that way,” I say to encourage her. “She seems genuinely excited about becoming a grandmother. It’s clearly more than I can do for her.”

“No, she told me that she saw it that way. That if I was determined to have this baby, then I needed to do it away from Atlanta, so I ran and I made up the story about being in danger. It was just easier than explaining I wanted away from my mother and her control. She was micromanaging every aspect of my life!”

“But your parents are Christians. Surely, they only wanted what’s best for you.” Kay says.

She guffaws. “All southern parents are Christians until their single daughters come home pregnant. Then, they start negotiating with God. My brother won’t leave you, Ashley. Not even if you’re barren.”

What is the appropriate southern response to that statement?

The ride to Napa is annoying and riddled with traffic—each driver doing something more stupid than the next one. “I do not miss California traffic. Everyone here got their license from a Cracker Jack box.”

“That’s not true. They waited in a six hour line at their local DMV.” Kay laughs.

By the time we reach the vineyard, we have OD’d on Christian music and Red Vines and my heart is pounding as I gaze up at the house, which looks like an old French castle.

Emily sighs. “Seriously, Fish and Clara live here? They warned me it was big, but seriously?”

“Money is everywhere in Silicon Valley, Emily. If you learn nothing else while you’re here. Never judge a book by its cover. Some ghetto-rich yahoo can be driving a $100,000 Mercedes without a cent to his name, and someone who answers to the name of Fish and dresses like a hobo, can be worth millions.”

Emily shakes her head. “Everything is backwards here.”

“That’s the truth. No wonder I can’t adjust to life outside this cosmic, geeky bubble.”

The Chateau at the top of the knoll rises from the golden hills like a French castle that has been restored to its original 17
^t
th Century glory. All of us draw silent as the Prius winds up the snaking driveway, which is caressed on each side by walls of majestic vineyards.

“I need a job,” I mumble.

“A job and a trust fund the size of a Kennedy’s,” Kay says.

My conscience kicks in as I realize Emily deserves grace. God embraces His prodigals, and we’re all prodigals. If we’re not, we’re the sniveling brother who stayed home, and thinks he’s better—so he’s guilty of pride.

All right, God. I get it. It’s Emily’s turn. She deserves to be coddled. I have Kevin and my own life. It’s hardly Emily’s fault I haven’t done anything with it since I moved.

We are again silenced in awe. The castle’s beautiful spires reach elegantly into the bright blue sky, alongside several brick fireplaces. The drive leads us to an enormous porte cochere cut with dramatic, cathedral archways to appear like a classic abbey.