Vixen in Vegas (Sinful Novellas) (25 page)

“They mean that much to you?” He asked unconvinced.

Nodding, I assured him, “More than you know.”

Then we went searching for wedding attire. And in a town devoted to weddings one would think it would be easier. After a couple of hours of shopping, I was convinced that any bride with taste brought her wedding gown from other places. It was a sea of taffeta that I waded through when I wasn’t drowning in satin. All I wanted was a simple desert wedding.

Thoroughly discouraged, I sank down on a seat inside the latest shop. Ben sat beside me looking concerned. “Sin, this is supposed to be fun,” he reminded me.

“Yes, well I’m sure it is for women who have been dreaming about their wedding day their entire life and have a year to plan it. Me, I’ve dreamed of getting married almost exactly twenty-four hours. And I only have about twenty-four more to make it happen.” I sighed. “I can totally picture it, what I want to wear,” I smiled. “And what I want you to wear,” I added shyly.

“It’s your day, babe,” he said as he kissed me on my head.

“No, it’s
our
day. I want you to be happy, too.” And I really meant it.

“Tell me what you are imagining. I bet we can make it happen.” He motioned for the saleswoman to come over and listen.

I looked at her hopefully. “I want something simple. I was thinking…lace and maybe a few crystal beads to pick up the setting sunlight. I thought flowing and relaxed, nothing stiff or overdone. Do you have anything like that?”

In my mind, the vision was so…real I could very nearly touch it. I looked at Ben with pleading eyes. “And you would just wear a nice linen button down shirt and pants…” I looked down. “I just wanted something simple and comfortable.”

While we were talking, the woman rushed to the back of the store. “Something I said,” I joked. Then shaking my head, I offered an alternative. “Maybe I should just go with something more traditional, stuffier.” I shrugged.

The sales associate returned with a dress in her arms. “This,” she said. “This is the dress you described. Go try it on.” Then she turned to Ben. “And you don’t get to see. It’s bad luck.” She pointed to the sign over the nearby doorway. “Grooms.”

“There’s a television and magazines. No peeking.” She put on her stern face while she rushed him out of the room. When she returned, she carried the gown to a vacant dressing room. “Let’s try this on,” she suggested.

Not one for modesty, I was stripping down as soon as the door closed behind us. She was opening the garment bag and talking endlessly.

“Now this is one of a kind. This is a designer dress that was never worn because the wedding was canceled. The bride dropped it off here on consignment,” she was more and more excited as she pulled it off the hanger.

I raised my arms and dove into the gown she was holding. The fabric was light, just like I had envisioned. She stood behind me and fastened it. That moment was like magic. The dress fit perfectly.

There were lace cap sleeves. The neckline was perfect, nice and open without looking cheap and tasteless. The cut was simple and elegant.

“What did you want to wear on your feet?” She asked.

Looking down at my bare feet, I smiled. “In the desert…I thought maybe I’d wear the cowboy boots he bought me.” I watched for a reaction. “I suppose you think that’s stupid.”

Looking at me intently, she shook her head. “No. Actually, I think it’s perfect.”

So, I bought the dress. I paid without blinking. It was the most I had ever spent on a dress that I would only wear one time. It was the most challenging shopping trip ever. It was the last time I would shop without Ben’s input…I hoped.

Back at the hotel, we made a phone call to order the flowers. “Do you know what you want?” Ben asked as we sat in front of the laptop. The company performing the wedding didn’t allow outside flowers, which meant we had to order from them, but I had already seen the bouquet I wanted so it wasn’t an issue. “I’m guessing…nothing ordinary.” He smiled at me warmly.

“You are going to think I’m crazy, but my flowers…are very ordinary. At least they aren’t ordinarily wedding flowers.” I pointed to a picture. “See, sunflowers.” There was a beautiful bouquet made from miniature sunflowers and purple statice.

“Perfect. This is going to be just beautiful,” he said. Then he leaned on me and closed his eyes.

“Why don’t you take a nap?” I suggested. “When you wake, we’ll have dinner.” He was so stubborn sometimes that I half expected him to object, but instead, he surprised me by laying his head on my lap and stretching out on the couch with me.

Staring down at him for a moment, I noticed he was looking up at me for a reaction. “I just want to be close to you. It helps me relax,” he said quietly.

“No worries,” I said, “I love having you near me.” Then I played with his hair while he rested.

Soon his breathing slowed. It was so shallow I had to double check to make sure he was still breathing. After a moment, my hand came to rest over his heart. It was beating. It didn’t seem as strong to me as it had before. That could just be my imagination, of course, but it bothered me. He seemed to be getting weaker. It felt like he was tired more often. Our sex life had taken a hit, but I was sure that was a combination of things…my fear and his condition. It didn’t matter. Even without the constant incredible mind blowing sex, I felt connected to him and so very loved.

I sighed. We still had the honeymoon to book and I needed more information about the clinic in Switzerland. Reaching out, I removed his iPhone from the holster on his side. Then I looked in his recent calls to find Brenda’s number. There wasn’t a Brenda at all. Then I realized the last call made was to ‘Killjoy.’ Once again I was forced to feel badly for his sister.

She answered the phone happily enough. Then I explained it was me calling and not Ben. “Oh,” she said quietly.

“I don’t mean to bother you,” I said slowly. “I’m just worried about Ben and I want to know more about his condition and make arrangements at this clinic. Can you help me out with that?”

She softened considerably. “I don’t know how you did it,” she said, “but I want to thank you for getting him to go get treatment.”

“I told him I’d marry him,” I said quietly. “I told him I wanted forever with him.” As I spoke I ran my fingers through his hair.

“You really do mean that?” She asked.

“I do. Just like I mean that I don’t want his money,” I said. Then a thought occurred to me. “Why don’t you live at the estate? I mean, it’s huge and there’s plenty of room and you work there…”

“Well, I married right out of high school and moved out. We were young. It didn’t last. Still, I kept the house we bought together, so I didn’t need to move home,” she explained.

“Well, if you ever change your mind, I wouldn’t mind having you around more,” I assured her.

“And you mean that?” She asked in shock.

“Brenda, I told you to calm the fuck down. Is that the move of someone who is in the habit of trying to be a people pleaser? I don’t say anything I don’t mean. I really meant you needed to calm the fuck down and I meant it when I said I wouldn’t mind having you around more.” I laughed then.

“You are so different, Sin,” she said. “I think you are just what both of us need.”

“I feel the same way. Now about Switzerland…” I knew my time was limited. I’d have forever to make nice with Brenda. At the moment, I was desperate to save Ben.

“It’ll be easier if I just email you everything. Is that okay?” She sounded hesitant.

“Sounds perfect.” So I gave her my email address and then I waited.

It didn’t take long for the files to come through. They were huge. There were so many. As I scrolled through them, I realized the terminology was killing me. At first I wanted to shoot myself for never having gone to college, then I realized that even college wouldn’t have helped. I would have needed to be a science major then gone on to medical school.

What I made out was that the damage to the heart from the chemo had weakened the muscle. The blood wasn’t getting pumped through right. The oxygenation was off. There was the possibility of the organ just giving out.

My heart was doing that ache thing again. More and more the thought of loss was completely debilitating. Ben’s best hope was that the treatment would work. He already qualified for a transplant. I wasn’t sure where he was on the list. It was just that transplants were so few and far between. It only made me more determined to get him to Switzerland, to give him something to live for.

In this case, I knew I was enough, but…I wanted more. One idea came to mind, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. It was too early to even speak it. So, I would wait until the right moment. After the wedding. Maybe on the long plane ride.

Ben slept forever. He slept so long that I finally had to remove him from my lap so that I could pee. He slept so long that we ended up having a late
late
dinner that was dangerously close to a midnight snack.

“You aren’t eating much,” he commented as we lounged on the floor near the windows and stared out at the fountains while we ate.

Grabbing at my stomach, I said, “I have a wedding dress to fit into!” Laughter came easily to me at the moment. I was madly in love with this man. We were about to do something I thought I’d never do. Maybe even a few things.

“As long as that’s all it is,” he said absently. “I noticed you used my phone to call Brenda.”

“Brenda?” I asked as I tapped my chin pretending to be deep in thought. “Oh, you must mean ‘Killjoy.’” Then I raised an eyebrow at him. “It made me glad you don’t have my phone number. What would my moniker be…’ball and chain?’ That’s mean, Ben.”

“I would never call you anything of the sort. And shouldn’t I have your contact information by now?” He asked seriously.

Puckering my lips, I considered the truth of his question. “I guess so. Pass me your phone.”

“What are you going to do?” He asked, sounding a bit nervous.

“It’s just easier for me to add my info. Shoot. I’m so confident in our relationship now, we could get it tattooed on our bodies, “ I joked.

“Hey, that’s what we could do!” He exclaimed happily.

“What?” I asked. “When?”

“Right now. Finish eating. We’re going on a field trip.” He looked more excited than I had seen him look all day…even with the proposal.

So I did as he requested, eating everything on my plate, including my veggies. Then I asked that same question any girl would ask in such a situation. “What do I wear?”

“Be comfortable. This may take a while.” He was beaming, so proud of himself for this idea. His happiness was contagious.