Vixen in Vegas (Sinful Novellas) (19 page)

Whipping around, I squealed in delight. “Jolie!” Rushing into her open arms, we hugged each other tightly. “Jolie,” I said more calmly this time. “Let’s never fight again. There’s nothing else you are keeping from me, is there?”

“Nothing. I swear it. How are you hanging in there, girl?” She asked gently.

“I’m…struggling,” I said honestly, moving to sit on the window seat and dragging her along to join me.

“What is it?” She asked. “Just…everything?”

“Yeah.” I sighed. “I mean…the last twenty-four hours have really tried me, you know?” I looked at her. She looked different to me, so happy and alive. I wondered if she wasn’t thinking just the opposite of me.

“Alysin, you look tired,” she said gently. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” I objected to her taking any blame.

“Well, I’m the one who finally told you the truth of the situation with your father.” She sighed. “I’ve known for years, but this just seemed like the most appropriate time to tell you.”

I could feel my jaw drop slightly. Finally, I asked, “Why now? Why was this time better than another?”

“Simple,” she said. “You have been influenced for so long so by this lie. I tried to reason it out. Maybe your mom thought she was saving you the pain of his death, but thinking that you had been abandoned couldn’t have been better.”

Looking out the window, I considered what she said. She was right. What my mother had done was so wrong. “I don’t feel sad…I feel guilty,” I said.

“About your dad?” She asked.

Nodding, I admitted, “Yeah. It was so long ago. All that gave me was closure. I no longer have to worry about running into someone who didn’t want me. I feel badly that I missed out on his funeral, that I never had the chance to say goodbye, but…it’s not like I suddenly am in mourning.” I frowned. “Is this wrong of me?”

“No, it makes sense,” she acknowledged. “I just hope it made you feel differently about Ben.” She smiled and squeezed my leg. “I don’t want you to ever feel guilty again.”

Smiling shyly, I said, “Yeah. It guess it did some. I already wanted him, but now I guess I feel like I can trust more…or maybe I just knew I could trust him anyway.”

“Ben is different and special. I told you…he’s made for you.” She gave me her most reassuring look. “So, I have to leave late tonight. Tell me what’s going on with Ben.”

For the next twenty minutes, I caught her up, gave her the goriest of gory details and shared everything. Just as I finished, Ben was wheeled back in. He gave me the thumbs up. Sure enough, a nurse followed him in and said that he’d be getting discharged shortly.

“Great!” I said enthusiastically. “You good with that, Ben? You feel okay, ready to go?”

“Absolutely.” Then he looked at Jolie. “I’d much rather entertain at home than here.”

Soon, Jolie and I stepped out in the hall. We decided to let him get dressed and go over the discharge papers with the nurse alone. As soon as the door shut behind us, Jolie asked, “What are your plans? What are you going to do?”

I frowned. “I guess I’m not going to get my happily ever after,” I said, “not like in the in the fairy tales. Instead, I’m going to work on happily every day.” I shrugged. “I just want Ben have as much happiness as can be squeezed into a lifetime in whatever life he has left.”

“I’m proud of you,” Jolie said.

“Eh, I haven’t done anything yet,” I reminded her. “I just heard him talking to his sister yesterday. He wants to live while he’s dying. I want to give him that.”

The nurse walked out of the room then and said, “He’s all yours.”

Sure enough, we were free to go back to the estate. When we made our way to the hospital entrance, I found that George was waiting for us with Ben’s Lexus. It was a nice touch. Apparently Ben had called him during the discharge process.

We arrived at the estate just in time for an early lunch. Lucy greeted him with a hug, and then gave me one, too. As Jolie took in the views from the patio, she looked at Ben and said, “How can you stand to be away from this place? It’s so beautiful here?”

“You should see it at sunset. Oh, or better still, you should see the stars at night,” I said enthusiastically. “This place is easy to love.” Then I leaned back and sighed contentedly.

Jolie glanced at me to make sure I was paying attention before speaking. “So, Ben, if you could do anything with your time, what would you do?”

At first my mouth flew open. I wanted to object, to silence her. It seemed like such a cold conversation to have. She nodded in Ben’s direction, so before I spoke, I studied his reaction. He wore this pensive look, had a serene expression.

“You know…I’ve been giving this some thought,” he said calmly. “There was so much I wanted to do, but I didn’t see how I could possibly do it…and now there’s Sin. She makes me believe that dreams come true, that fate does exist, and that miracles may even happen.” He smiled at me with pure love shining in his eyes. “I love you, Sin, for that and so much more.”

We might have had a moment, but Jolie put a stop to that. “Ugh! You two make me sick,” she said, making a face. “Seriously, Ben, what would you do?

I laughed at her reaction and watched Ben, waiting for his response. Jolie knew what she was doing. She was helping me have the conversation I would never know how to begin, the conversation I was too afraid to have. So while Ben talked, I listened, made mental notes, tried to act all cool like I wasn’t just hanging on his every word, which…I really was.

“Damn. I haven’t done hardly anything,” he began, “which is going to sound strange since it looks like I grew up really privileged.” He frowned. “I was sick for a while before we really had a diagnosis. My illness took a toll on the family. My parents took a second honeymoon and died in a freak accident while parasailing. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to do that.”

“Make sense. No parasailing,” I said, thoroughly approving with that.

“So, I hate to disappoint you. I’m not an adrenaline junky. I don’t need to risk my life to feel alive. I simply want to appreciate the beauty and wonder around and share these experiences with the woman I love,” he explained as he reached out and caressed my thigh. “I have been ordered to not put too much of a strain on my heart.”

“And there goes our sex life,” I joked while winking at him.

He chuckled. “Actually, they restricted that some, but acknowledged that there were also a lot of positives to having sex with my loving wife,” he commented.

“Your wife?” Jolie’s eyebrows shot up.

“Oh yes,” Ben said, “every time someone refused to share my medical information, Sin flashed her rings and claimed she was my wife.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I swear we were fake married for a week. I think there was even a real proposal in there and everything!” I pretended to be aggravated.

“The proposal was very real,” he said. “It was my first and my last. I’m glad it was you.”

“Me, too,” I said. Suddenly my chest hurt and my nose stuffed up and my eyes were all fuzzy. I could see that they were both looking at me so I explained. “Allergies.”

Rolling her eyes, Jolie said, “Yeah, must have come from all those flowering plants around…nowhere nearby.”

Ben covered his mouth and turned his head away from me. If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought that he was laughing at me…or her. Before I explored that further, he stood and leaned over to give me a kiss on the cheek.

“Listen,” he said quietly, “would you mind if I just went and laid down for a little while. The last few days have been exhausting.”

“Go on, babe,” I encouraged. “Jolie and I may take that golf cart out for a spin and snap some pictures if you don’t mind.”

“Enjoy yourselves,” he said with more than a hint of relief.

Once the patio door closed behind him, Jolie was ready to get to work. “Okay, so I have to leave in about eight hours. Let’s get some plans made for you two. You know we get it done faster when we work together.”

I couldn’t argue with that. More over, I needed the help. I really was struggling to focus on the happy in this. “I think we need to head back to Vegas,” I suggested. “I think that may be the only way we get the rest he needs. His sister and the winery require a lot of attention.”

“Are you sure you don’t just want him all to yourself?” She asked raising her eyebrow in challenge.

“Maybe,” I admitted, “but it doesn’t make me any less right. It doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t be better away and alone with me.”

She smiled at me. “It’s so good to see you sticking it out, Sin. It’s a good look for you, even if you are allergic to sadness.”

So, we drove the golf cart around. We took my laptop. We made lists and plans. On the one hand, I was thrilled with the memories we would have, memories that would have to last me a lifetime alone because I would never find anyone like him again. How did I know? I wouldn’t be looking. People who looked felt like they had an unfulfilled need. Ben loved well enough that I would never need anyone else.

“Okay, so we’ll need to get you two reservations in a hotel. How about The Bellagio this time? You are going to want to take about a million pictures there. Trust me,” Jolie said.

“Why is that?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“I’m not going to ruin it for you. You’ll see.” She smiled widely. “Let’s see what you think of our list for activities.”

Leaning over her shoulder, I nodded. “Perfect. He’ll be so happy.” Then I sat down and pretended to be studying the landscape when really I was trying to forget that we were planning the bucket list of the man I love.

“You are doing the right thing for all the right reasons,” Jolie reminded me. “You’re going to be fine…better than every before.”

“I needed to grow. I needed to change. I guess this experience qualifies. My heart hurts all the time,” I murmured, unable to speak too loudly for fear my voice would crack. “I’m not used to caring about anyone more than I care about myself. I’m not used to giving so selflessly, nurturing so intently, or staying through the messy stuff.”

“You’ve got this, Sin. And no matter what, you’ve got me. I’ll only ever be a phone call away,” she reminded me with a hug.

Then all too soon, she had to leave.

“Did you and Jolie have a nice visit?” He asked when we climbed into bed that night.

“Absolutely. She was a huge help,” I commented.

“What did she help you with?” He asked playfully.

Shaking my head, I said, “Nope. It’s a surprise.”

“Bet I can get it out of you,” he whispered in my ear as he pushed my hair away from my face and started to nibble my lobe.

While I wanted to lie there and savor the moment, I wasn’t going to let him win. “Not a chance,” I warned. Then I gently pushed him onto his back. I straddled him, making sure my pelvis lined up with his. Running my hands over his shoulders, I savored the feel of his skin. More and more I was going to work to remember every detail of our time.

“Your muscles are tense,” I mentioned as I rubbed them. “Roll over and let me work out the tension.”

He complied and as soon as he had, I leaned over and began massaging his shoulders. Oh, but that wasn’t enough. Soon, I was running my breasts along his back.