Jace nodded, walking to stand beside Louie. He pressed into his side. Kip realized Jace was feeling vulnerable, probably torn between shifting and speaking to them or running away, pretending all this newness had never happened. Maybe Jace didn’t know
what
to say, considering he’d kept his thoughts and emotions to himself all his life.
“We’re all a bit of a mess in one way or another,” Vann said. “Time—I heard it’s a great healer.”
“It is.” Louie reached down to ruffle Jace’s fur. “Already Jace is coming out of his shell. He’s opening up a bit more, mainly with me, but in the future, who knows? He’ll maybe feel more comfortable with you guys.”
“I’ll wait for as long as you need me to, Jace.” Vann looked up at the sky then back to Jace. “And even if you don’t want to become friends or meet your other family, it’s okay. Whatever you want. I get it. Our parents and sister also understand. They just want what’s best for you.”
Jace stepped forward. He cuffed Vann’s leg with a splayed paw, snarled, then ran off toward the apartments. Vann stared after him, and Kip sensed he was crushed by the gesture.
Louie laughed, throwing his head back and holding his belly.
“Why is that funny?” Vann asked.
“I’d say you’ve got the seal of approval,” Louie said, smiling hard, his eyes bright.
“How so?” Vann frowned. “From where I’m standing, he just warned me to stay the hell away.”
Louie shook his head. “He didn’t. That was his way of telling you he wants to be friends. He did the exact same thing to me when I first met him. From then on, he spent years wanting to be with me, to play as cubs, to be friends, then later, mates. But he kept it all inside because he didn’t know how to express himself. It wasn’t until you showed up that he told me how he felt. The thought of being taken away with you, back to where he was supposed to belong, freaked him out. So he told me he loved me, and, well…you can see how it is now.”
Vann’s relief poured through Kip, who laughed with the euphoria of it.
Vann joined in, staring in the direction where Jace had gone. “I thought… Fuck, it doesn’t matter now.” He turned back to face them.
“Just wait,” Louie said, “and he’ll come to you.” He patted Vann on the back. “Honestly, it’ll all turn out okay in the end. Anyway, I’ll catch you later. There’s a wolf I need to see to. Oh, and enjoy it here. You deserve a good life.”
Louie walked off. Vann looked at Kip, his smile infectious. Kip returned it, knowing their time here would be so very different than what they’d been used to. Kip could still remember life from before Crossways, how it was to mix with the fulls as though they weren’t a different breed. Vann, though…he had a lot of new things to experience, and Kip supposed in a way Vann wasn’t much different to his brother. The siblings both had adjustments to make, new patterns to get used to, and maybe once they’d come to terms with those changes in their own lives, in themselves, they’d eventually broaden their horizons to allow some kind of brotherly relationship to grow.
“It’d be nice, wouldn’t it?”
Vann asked.
“Permission to answer me.”
“It would, Sir, but like I’ve said before, talking in thoughts isn’t necessary here. Unless you have something outright private to say.” Kip gazed at him, a challenge to make Vann start understanding that their relationship didn’t have to be kept a secret anymore.
“It’s so difficult, though.”
Vann clenched his jaw then relaxed it.
“For all the time you were at Crossways we spoke in thoughts once we’d mated. If Bennett had known for sure about us…”
“I’d have gone the same way as my mom. Yes, I know. But I didn’t, and now we’re here.” He lifted his arm to encompass the compound. “We never have to hide again. So talk to me out loud, Sir. Please?”
Vann stood a few inches away. He looked as if he wanted to take Kip in his arms, but the habits of the past were intruding, stopping him from doing so.
“Hold me, Sir. In public. Right now where anyone can see.”
“Fuck. I want to, I really want to…”
“So do it.”
Vann swallowed, tilting his head toward the sky.
“It’s…it’s so embedded in me that I…”
He smacked a fist against his thigh. “I love you, Kip.” He snapped his head down to stare at Kip then glanced around.
“Fuck, I said it out loud.”
“You did, Sir, and it sounded lovely. Say it again? Louder. Shout it?”
Vann bit his bottom lip. His indecision was right there for Kip to see in Vann’s darting eyes and him changing his hands from fists to star shapes.
“I love you!” Vann shouted. He shut his eyes, cringing, probably expecting Bennett or Wickland to come storming from the pack house ready to eat him alive.
“No one’s here, Sir.” Kip grinned, ecstatic he’d gotten Vann to loosen up so quickly. “Take a look?”
Vann opened his eyes a crack. Then wider. “Jeez, this is so weird. I feel…I feel alive. Like I’ve just been born.”
“In a way you have, Sir. A new life, a new you. I’m going to enjoy the journey we’ll be taking.”
Vann stepped closer, tugging Kip into his arms. Vann’s heart beat wildly beneath Kip’s ear, and Kip sensed the elation skittering through Vann as though it raced about searching for somewhere to go, somewhere to escape from. Kip dragged it into himself, fully sharing the emotion, fully understanding the enormity of the pressure release.
“I
love
you,” Vann said, stroking Kip’s cheek and pressing kisses to his temple. “You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to be like this, us standing in the open. Yeah, we were alone when we came here the first time, but that was different. We’re in a community now, one that doesn’t give a shit what we’re doing so long as it isn’t breaking the law.” He paused, squeezing Kip tight. “We’re free. I can’t believe we’re free.”
“It feels good, doesn’t it, Sir?”
Vann squeezed him again in answer.
“Shall we go and drop our bags at the apartment then drive into Morgan Creek like we planned, Sir? We need to visit the agency Dillon mentioned—the one where we can apply for jobs. It’s all very well being welcomed here, but we need to pay our way. We can’t expect the others to carry us for long. What will you do for a job?”
“I’m not sure. I’m not skilled at anything, you know that. Mowing the grass and pruning the hedges at Crossways hardly count as skills, do they?” Vann let Kip go. He guided them across the lawn toward the apartments.
“You could bartend with me. That’s something I’ve always wanted to do. Serving people, making them feel happy. Dillon said there are vacancies at some club or other. It means we’d work nights and get all day to spend here.”
“Would I be any good at it, d’you think?” Vann opened the main door to their apartment block. “I’m a bit big. Maybe too clumsy to be working with glasses in a confined space?”
“Maybe there’ll be other jobs better suited to you. Come on, we’ll dump these bags then go and see. We won’t know until we check, and maybe something will jump out at you, grab your interest. Dillon said we can borrow his car, and I haven’t driven in ages, not since Bennett left his car unlocked and I taught myself. It’s time to start our new life.”
* * * *
The drive to Morgan Creek was exhilarating. Kip hadn’t gone long distances before, and navigating the road with limited experience was a stupid thing to do. He realized that all too late, but he slowed and concentrated, hoping to get them to the small town in one piece.
The countryside between the compound and the town was beautiful, not that he had much chance to study it properly. Maybe one day they could take a walk out here, perhaps have a picnic in one of the fields, providing whoever owned it didn’t mind. There were plenty of trees to give shade, and who knew, they might be able to fuck under one of them if it was far away from the road.
“That would be risky—and you may answer me,” Vann said.
“I know it would, but risks hold appeal. Like the one in the hotel room with that guy outside. It was exciting, wasn’t it?”
“It was, I can’t deny that.”
“So we’ll go alfresco one day, Sir?”
“If that’s what you want.”
“Oh, I want.”
There was no more time for conversation. They entered the town and Kip had to concentrate on driving. He managed to park out the back of a supermarket. How Kip would reverse when it was time to go was another matter, one he didn’t want to think about until he had to.
As Kip and Vann strolled along the main street, people watched them, curious, Kip thought, as to who they were. It wasn’t because they were shifters, more that they were strangers. Well, he and Vann were here to stay, so these folks would just have to get used to seeing them on a regular basis.
It was strange, being among fulls again—being among anyone who didn’t belong to Crossways or Highgate—but Kip would soon adjust and he was sure Vann would too. Although it had to be harder for Vann, whose feelings flowed through Kip, one chasing after another.
Kip patted Vann’s arm.
Vann nodded.
“No one will come along to take you back to Crossways.” Kip smiled. “So there’s no need to look around for anyone who might seem menacing.”
“I can’t help it. I can’t believe I’m walking down a street with you. Such a simple thing. These shops and that little patch of a market down there. It’s all so…like it’s on TV and I’m just watching.” Vann stared around in wonder. “And shit, I just realized. We’re here to apply for jobs yet we have no identification papers.”
Kip dug into his jeans pocket. “What, like these, Sir?”
Vann stopped walking to take them. He studied them for a moment. A birth certificate each and a piece of paper that had social security numbers on it. “Where did you get these?”
“Dillon gave them to me. Alpha Newart provided them. Which reminds me, we have to find a photo booth. We need passport photos. But more than that, we can do what all new couples do and get some dorky pictures of us messing around.”
“New couples do that?” Vann raised his eyebrows and handed Kip’s birth certificate back to him. He slid his own into his pocket.
“Well, they used to when Mom was younger, so she said. She had some of her and my dad.” Kip shrugged. “When they were happy. There’s so much you don’t know—so much I’m going to enjoy watching you learn. There really is a whole new world out there, Sir.”
Vann swallowed. “Does it make me sound stupid if I say I’m crapping myself about going into that agency?”
They continued walking.
“No. It makes you sound human.” Kip laughed. “Or as human as you can be, anyway.”
“And fulls really don’t mind shifters being among them? Like, there isn’t any fear or prejudice?”
“Of course there is. Some people don’t like what they don’t understand. There are assholes wherever you go, whether you’re a full or a shifter. And many people hate gays, so according to some we have two things against us. Just go with it. We’ll muddle through any bad times.” Kip spotted the agency sign swinging in the breeze on the side of a building. “Here we are, Sir.”
They stopped outside.
Vann read some of the cards in the window. “Farmer’s hand wanted on the other side of town. Reckon I could do that? It says here ‘Help needed with mucking out pigs and cattle’. Shoveling shit can’t be that hard, can it?”
Kip laughed. “It’s your call. Personally, I want a cleaner job. Cleaner than a bartender anyway. One where I can maybe wear a suit. I’ve always wanted a suit.”
“Then I’ll get you one with my first wage packet.”
“You don’t need to do that, Sir.”
“But I want to.”
Kip raised his head so he could look at Vann. The need to do it had been fierce inside him, and he wondered whether Vann had put the thought into his mind. “Don’t you like me always looking down, Sir?”
“Not always, no. Sometimes I just want to look into your eyes, you know? To make contact for a second. Maybe we can relax that rule now. I mean, it worked so well at Crossways, when you felt you had to
not
look at me, but in this life? There’s room for it if you want it.”
“I don’t mind. Whatever you want. Always, whatever you want.” Kip smiled brightly, his heart light and his mind full of future possibilities. “So, after you, Sir.” He held out a hand to indicate the door. “Time to start living.”
Chapter Eleven
Vann’s legs ached something fierce. It reminded him of when they’d walked across Texas, except that seemed like a lifetime ago now. Six months of living free had seen him get used to normal living pretty quickly. He was surprised at how fast he’d become accustomed. Working at the nightclub, Mistrals, had helped too. He’d encountered all sorts of people, some downright bizarre, others more like himself, just people wanting to get on with their lives the best way they knew how. As for the bizarre, who was he to judge anyway? He had no right to question their outlandish clothing and hairstyles, their loud brashness and extroverted natures. Maybe they weren’t even extroverts. He’d been so used to folks being quiet and meek, perhaps the rowdy bar goers were average humans.
Whatever, he was enjoying his days spent at Highgate then his evenings and early hours of the morning tending bar with Kip. Like he’d thought, Vann had been clumsy at first, and, if he were honest, nervous of messing up. But Kip, who had taken to the job so easily, had helped him out along the way. And he’d bought Kip that longed-for suit with his first wages like he’d promised, although where Kip would go to wear it was anyone’s guess.
The drive back to Highgate in the dark after a busy shift was a welcome rest before they went for it at home with a scene. Kip drove, competent behind the wheel now, and Vann rested his head back and closed his eyes with complete trust in his mate’s abilities. The occasional headlight beam flashed over his eyelids, and he marveled at how such a simple thing to some people was still a wonderful novelty to him. Would he ever get used to being free? Ever stop being amazed by new experiences? He hoped not. Losing that feeling meant taking things for granted, and he never wanted to do that.