Authors: Sarah Elizabeth
Copyright © 2013 by Sarah Elizabeth
This is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are all products of the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or passed is purely coincidental. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in articles or reviews.
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This book is intended for adult readers only
due to the sexual content and some strong language.
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Para aqueles que amaram e perderam, e encontraram a força para amar de novo.
I would like to thank each and every one of you, the readers, the bloggers, the reviewers, and the pages for all of your continued support over the past few months.
Tracy McKay, for being the sweetest
‘cupcake’ through this whole process, even when the BOOM’s did throw us off course on a regular basis!
Writing has become a huge part of my life, and without all of your kind words and encouragement, the rest of the series would never have become possible.
I hope you enjoy
reading Misplaced Trust just as much as I have enjoyed writing it.
now you can skip on and read it!
Sarah Elizabeth xXxXx
I don’t know how long I’ve been crying. I know that it’s starting to get light outside, but I have no idea what the time is. All I know is that it hurts. My eyes are sore from the tears I’ve shed, and my chest is aching from the way my heart is slowly breaking inside.
I’ve been clutching the necklace Brandon tore from my neck ever since I picked it up from the ground and came back to the dorm. It’s broken. The wide range of emotions that have been taking over my body
since that moment are slowly beginning to fade away as numbness begins to set in.
This morning we were happy. I keep wondering if it’s because of what happened
between us back at the hotel. We both took a big step, making a large and overwhelming commitment to one another. Maybe he just needs some time and then he’ll come back to me.
I‘ve called his cell phone too many times to count
, but he hasn’t answered, not even once. I’ve left numerous voice messages, although I doubt when he listens to them he’ll understand what I was trying to say anyway, because I was crying so hard each time I attempted to speak.
I feel hollow.
His eyes. There was something in his eyes that told me he was hurting. He didn’t look like he wanted to leave. Shit, then why did he? I don’t even know anymore. I thought I knew him. I really thought I could read him and know what he was feeling and thinking, but maybe I was wrong and everything was a lie.
When he made love to me I felt whole, I felt special, and I felt like there was nowhere else I wanted to be but in his arms, forever. He made me feel a
s though I was the only one who mattered in his world and that he would do anything for me, like I would for him.
There’s no way someone could fake the connection we had …
the connection we have,
but why promise forever and then leave?
I haven’t been able to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes and tried, all I could see was his face and how he looked when he
tore the necklace away, before tossing it on the ground. He looked cold, almost as though he was full of hate. It was as though he hated …
What the hell did I do?
My thoughts are soon interrupted by sounds travelling from the other side of my bedroom door, and it’s then when I glance over to my alarm clock that I see it’s already five in the morning. My stomach jolts and my heart begins hammering in my chest as I bolt from my room, practically breaking into a run towards the main door. He just needed some time, that’s all.
Wiping my eyes for what feels like the millionth time, I turn the lock and grab the handle, pulling the door open with such a force that it almost smacks me
straight in the face.
Neil,” I don’t know why I’m so surprised. He lives here after all. He appears apprehensive and stands in the doorway for a few seconds. Walking by me and over to his room, I watch as he places his duffel bag behind his door, before coming back out to join me.
’m assuming by the way your face fell when you saw me just now, there’s still no word from Brandon?” rubbing his forehead with his thumb and forefinger, as I close the main door and stifle a yawn, I shake my head and lean up against the back of it. “You don’t look like you’ve had any sleep either.”
Shaking my head again
in reply, I let out a deep sigh and make my way over to sit on the couch, “I can’t sleep,” I tell him as he sits beside me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me in to him, until I’m resting my head on his chest. “Where have you been until this hour anyway?”
I was visiting a friend and lost track of time,” he shrugs, grabs the remote, and switches the TV on low. “Try and get some sleep, Alex.” He lifts his hand and begins stroking my hair as I try and make myself more comfortable.
I want him to come home. I want him to be here with me. I want to know he’s safe,” I whisper against his chest, hearing him letting out a sigh at my words. “I want to know what I did wrong, Neil.”
“I’ll make some calls in a
few hours,” he tells me, kissing my hair lightly, before focusing his attention back on the widescreen.
Taking comfort in one of my closest frie
nds, I soon feel my eyes beginning to close with exhaustion as I drift off to sleep from the sound of his thundering heartbeat.
I’ve been following the same rout
ine over the past few days.
ter my classes during the week, I’ve been visiting the place where it all began and sitting down on the steps by the lake until the dusk finally settles in, before making my way back up to the dorm.
called him at least twenty times a day and left over ten voice messages on his cell phone, but still not a single one has been reciprocated. Not a damn one.
Where are you? Why did you leave? When are you coming home? I love you. I miss you. I’ll do anything. Call me. Are you safe? What did I do wrong? I want forever. I want forever … with you.
Spending time in the dorm isn’t really helping the nauseas feeling that has been fixed in my stomach ever since that day. His things are still in the exact same places they were since before he left. If I pack them away or dispose of them, it’ll be like admitting to myself that he’s not coming back to me. I want … no, I
him to come back to me.
Neil and Ryan have been calling their frien
ds back in Olympia daily, checking whether they’ve seen or heard from him, but they’re just as clueless as to the reasons Brandon left as I am.
e were happy. We were ecstatically happy, or at least I thought we were. His face told a completely different story though when I saw him on the sidewalk, just before he climbed inside that SUV.
The morning after that day, Neil and I headed over to Brandon’s dorm. With the belongings he left between my place and his, it didn’t
appear that he’d taken a lot of things with him, which makes me hopeful he’ll be back soon.
One thing I’m unable to understand th
ough is the note. That same note that I’ve been clutching tightly and carrying around with me ever since I found it. He left an envelope addressed to me on one of the pillows in his bedroom. I thought we were able to talk to each other about anything, but, I guess I was wrong.
We’ll both find someone we can’t live without one day.
keep a hold of my things for me.
Our time together was fun.
Forever doesn’t necessarily mean forever.
Don’t hate me.
Trust is more important in a relationship than anything.
Anyone can and will try to break your heart.
So he’s saying he can live without me and our time together was fun. Fun? I saw our relationship as a whole lot more than just fun. To me, forever does mean forever, not for the promise to be pledged and then only twenty four hours later having it ripped away again, but then, he asked for his things to be kept for him.
No matter how many times I read it, which has been
so many that I’ve lost count and given myself a headache on many occasions, I still can’t and don’t understand. I’m so confused.
Closing my eyes and taking a breath
, I lean against the wooden beam behind me and decide that it’s most probably time to head back up to the building.
My breath catches and my heart begins hammering in my chest at the word. A smile spreads over my lips before I turn to face where the male voice travelled over from. I knew he would be back.
Turning to face him, the disappointment runs through me tenfold when a guy I don’t recognize is standing in the place I thought Brandon was.
He has the same raven black hair and build, but he’s no way the person I thought he was going to be. Shaking my head and sighing, I turn away and try to fight the sharp stabbing pain that’s threatening to take over my whole body again.
“You don’t think it is?” h
e speaks again, and from the corner of my eye I see him slowly walking over and taking a seat beside me.
Facing him, I see him watching me with a guarded expression, as though he’
s waiting for me to answer him, “I’m sorry … what?”
Beautiful. Here. The view,” he answers while waving his hand over towards the lake and its surroundings. Right. The view. Looking back and throwing me a small smile, he offers his hand out to me. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m Harry.”
Offering the best smile I possibly can, I
place the creased note in my jacket pocket as I stand. Rude, maybe, but I’m feeling anything but sociable and all I really want to do is be left alone with my thoughts.
What I wouldn’t give to hear that exact word coming from Brandon’s lips again.
Inhaling a sharp breath, I make my way over to the small opening that lea
ds back into the campus grounds, feeling someone walking closely behind me, “You dropped this.”
Pausing in the entryway before
turning back around, I watch as the guy lifts his hand and attempts to pass something over to me, “Alex, are you okay?” now that voice I do recognize.
“Neil,” I smile warmly as he steps beside me. Five
out of the seven times I’ve been down here, he’s walked to meet me, just to walk me back again. He, Ryan, and Alyssa have been really patient with me considering the wide range of mood swings I’ve both felt and displayed over the recent days. “I was just head–“
“Hey, don’t I know you?” m
y line of conversation is interrupted when Neil focuses all of his attention on Harry. They both appear to be watching each other cautiously for a brief moment, before the silence is broken.
“No, I don’t think so.”
Neil’s eyebrows furrow and a frown forms over his mouth, and all the while, he’s keeping his eyes firmly trained on the person standing in front of us, “Are you sure? You look really familiar.”
I’m pretty sure,” he lifts his hand out as a way of greeting, with Neil accepting and I watch them, watching each other. It’s as though they’re sizing each other up or something. “I’m Harry.”
“My mistake,” Neil tells him in reply
, before removing his hand from Harry’s and placing his arm firmly around my waist. “Let’s get back.” Directing his gaze at me, I nod in agreement as we begin to walk away.
It was nice meeting you, Alexis,” I hear him call after us. Stilling for a second and glancing over my shoulder, I see him nod once when our eyes meet, as he stands with his hands in the front of his pants pockets. “I’ll see you around.”
I don’t recall giving him my name. In fact
, I’m darned sure I didn’t tell him. Did I?
Alexis. People around here call me Alex, not Alexis. The only other person who ever called me that was, well, we know who that was.
I don’t know, maybe I did say without even realizing. I haven’t exactly been with it recently.
“Do you know him?” Neil asks
as he ushers me towards our building.
No,” I answer, “At least … I don’t think I do.”
It’s just turned seven o’clock as I end the call with my father.
Leaning forward and placing the handset back over on the coffee table, Neil eyes me with curiosity when he notices my eye roll as I sit back against the couch, “My father needs me home at the weekend,” I answer his silent question quietly as he continues to observe me.
“And you’re not happy about going
because …?” he raises his eyebrows and waits for me to finish his sentence. Giving him a slight smile and breaking the eye contact, I try to think of how to explain my reasons without sounding …
been in two minds on whether to visit my father during this mid-semester break, but the decision appears to have already been made for me now. I want to stay on campus in case Brandon comes home. I don’t want to not be here when he walks back through the door …
he walks through the door.
My father has decided it’s time to sort through my mom’s things.
All of her belongings have remained untouched, except from on the day before we moved away from Seattle. That was the only time her personal items were disturbed, when we packed everything into boxes and cases, taking them with us and placing them, still unopened, in one of the spare rooms of the new house.
“He wants me to help him sort
through my mom’s things,” a lump has begun to form in my throat at saying the words out loud. “He thinks it’s time.”
Nodding slowly and studying me, he gives me a small smile of his own before averting his eyes away from me and over to Alyssa and Ryan, who are stumbling through the main door with their lips interlocked.
Clearing his throat, Neil manages to gain their attention, and I notice them jump apart from each other when they see me, “Hey …” Ryan’s eyes me with caution and begins to look increasingly uncomfortable.
I wish they wouldn’
t do this. Only because the first guy I ever slept with, the first guy I ever loved, decided to break my heart into tiny pieces and leave them scattered all over the sidewalk after breaking his promise, doesn’t mean they need to hide their happiness. I’m a grown woman and I’m pleased for them. Deep down I will always hold the hope that Brandon and I will have what they have again one day.
Alyssa and Ryan join us for a while and fill us in on their
plans for the mid-semester break. Ryan doesn’t seem overly impressed, but Alyssa appears ecstatically happy that his mom invited the both of them to spend a few days back in Olympia with the rest of his family.
’s almost eleven o’clock as Alyssa and Ryan disappear into Ryan’s room. Neil jumps up and switches off the TV before handing me a blanket, “Sleeping on the couch every night isn’t healthy, Alex. Especially on these couches. You’ll end up walking like the hunch back of Notre Dame,” he jokes, while planting a soft kiss on my forehead before heading to his room.
He’s right. These couches are definitely not the most comfortable places to sleep, but I haven’t slept in my own bed since the night before my birthday. I attempted to, but I couldn’t. It was our bed. It
our bed, and it still smells of him. His cologne, his scent. It makes me miss him even more, if that’s in any way possible.
The next time I sleep in there, Brandon will be in there with me.