Vanished (The Saved Series, A Military Romance) (10 page)

“So
, Terri’s been here an awful lot lately,” Mary-Margaret said to him as she stepped into his kitchen as he was getting ready to report for duty on base. He poured coffee in a Thermos, snapping the black lid on.

“I suppose
,” he said, knowing full well what she was getting at. When he glanced up and over at her, she was swaying with Charlie in her arms. She wore a casual yellow turtleneck and blue jeans, always appearing so neat and together. Joe was a lucky man to have a woman like her for his wife. “Your kids off at school?” he asked, also knowing they were, because she never came over in the morning until they were walking out the door to catch the school bus.

“Yes
, they’re gone. So, about Terri, is there something going on between the two of you?”

This time
, he slid his gaze around and studied her. She wasn’t smiling. In fact, by the impression he got, she wasn’t happy with the fact that Terri was coming around at all. “I like Terri. She’s been a good friend, and she’s great with the kids,” he said. He wasn’t about to get into the fact that just the past night, before she left, she had reached up and touched his cheek, and he hadn’t hesitated to lean in and kiss the lips she’d offered to him. It had been nice, but after she’d left and he’d watched her drive away, he’d felt guilty, as if he was cheating. How could he cheat on a woman who had walked out the door? He was sure Abby was gone forever. He’d tried to tell himself, as he lay in bed for hours, that he needed to move on because his children needed a mother and he was tired of being alone.

“Thanksgiving is on Sunday. Joe’s watching the game
. What time are you and the kids going to come over?”

This time
, he felt himself warm. The fact was that he was having Thanksgiving with Terri. In fact, she was cooking. He’d bought the turkey already, and it was defrosting in the fridge as they spoke. “Ah, I think I’ll give you guys some space. We’re having Thanksgiving here. Look, I really appreciate all you’ve done, Mary-Margaret, but I think it would be best if we start getting our own lives again. I can’t keep having you feed us. I’m also looking for someone to look after the kids when I deploy,” he said. He watched her expression, which had seemed guarded, take on the motherly look he’d seen her flash at her children when they did something she didn’t like.

“Eric
, what about Abby?” she said.

He couldn’t believe she’d bring her up. Even hearing her name was a painful reminder of
all the hurt, even though there wasn’t a minute during the day when she didn’t try to creep into his thoughts. She’d left him, and he’d only cried twice: the first night he’d arrived home after she’d disappeared, and the night after he found her. After that, he’d sworn he’d never allow a woman to hold him by the balls emotionally again. He’d closed the door on his feelings for Abby and pushed everything he felt for her away to a place he ignored and had no intention of dealing with.

He liked Terri and felt comfortable with
her. With her, he wasn’t so emotionally wound up that he couldn’t think. He was starting to understand why some men chose women not for love but for companionship, friendship. This was smart, as far as he was concerned, because he was now convinced you couldn’t have both. He wasn’t going down that road ever again.

“What about her
?” he said. “She’s gone, she walked out. I have children to look after. I’m deploying soon, in case you’ve forgotten. I need to know my kids are okay, being looked after. I don’t have time to be chasing after a wife who can’t figure out what she wants or if she’s coming or going.”

He was sure
, by the expression on Mary-Margaret’s face, that she couldn’t appear any more shocked. “That isn’t fair, Eric,” she said. “I don’t understand what’s going on with Abby, but I also wouldn’t trade places with her for anything. What she went through…honestly, I don’t know how I’d react, and I’d never want to find out. I’ve heard stories and some talk of what happens to women who are sold. I don’t know how she… I just don’t know what I would have done, but you haven’t tried once since you found her how many weeks ago to see how she’s doing. Why?” She glanced at Charlie when he smacked his lips. He wore a white cotton hat on his head and gripped Mary-Margaret’s sweater with his fist.

“Abby made her choice
, Mary-Margaret. I would have looked after her if she’d come home. I would have gotten her help, but she refused. I’m done.”

“Oh
, I see. So tell me, Eric, does ‘done’ mean you’re moving on, bringing Terri in to take Abby’s place? Is she joining you for Thanksgiving?”

“Oh
, for the love of God, woman, Terri is my friend, and yes, she is having Thanksgiving here with us. She’s cooking, if you really want to know. The kids love her. She’s good with them. Did you know it was Terri who put that smile back on Rachel’s face? For the first time in a while, I’m not worried every time I walk out the door that something is going to happen to my kids.”

“
Oh my God, Eric, I wasn’t serious, but I see that you are considering replacing Abby. Are you thinking of having Terri move in here, take care of the kids while you’re on deployment? Are you sleeping with her?”

He couldn’t believe she
’d asked that. She must have known she had stepped over a line, as she flushed and said, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that.”

“
You’re damn right you shouldn’t have asked that.”

“But you are considering taking up with her?” Mary-Margaret asked as she stepped closer.

“Yes, we’ve talked about it. Now, are you okay with my kids today while I’m on base?” He had asked mainly because, as he glanced at the wall clock, he had to get going, and he wasn’t interested in discussing any intimate details of him and Terri, not when he and Terri were still at the beginning stage of their relationship. Initially, it had been her suggestion. At first, he had thought she was kidding when she brought up looking after the kids when he left on deployment. This weekend, he planned on taking things a step further, and the last thing he wanted was any interference from his friends.

“I’ve got
to go,” he said. He picked up his cup, leaned down, and kissed his son. When he pulled open the door, he looked back at his friend’s wife and knew he had ruffled some feathers. Next he was probably going to have Joe knocking on his door. As Eric stepped out into the cold, he was beginning to think maybe it was time to set some boundaries.

Abby couldn’t remember the last time her feet
had ached like they did tonight. As she raced around the small diner in the tacky brown polyester dress that was the uniform for all the waitresses, she could feel the run in her hose sliding up the back of her leg. A large man with a dark mustache waved her over. She carried the coffee pot with her, and he lifted his cup.

“F
ill it up,” he said.

She poured coffee just as she felt his hand on her ass. She jumped and smacked his hand away.

“Aw, come on, honey,” he said.

It made her ill
, being pawed at, but at the same time, she couldn’t cause a scene or she’d lose her job, so she turned and walked away. She was so tired of these scumbags who seemed to think they could touch her whenever they wanted: a slip of a hand against her breast as they walked by, standing too close to her, pressing in behind her and then apologizing, as if she believed any of them.

“Abby.”

She jumped when she heard her name and turned to a woman in a booth. Her earthy brown hair was cut in the same short bob she always wore. She clutched a pair of red gloves on the table, her black wool coat still buttoned up. Abby could feel her insides shaking and her hand slipping on the coffee pot.

“Abby
, stop daydreaming and get back to work. You got orders up!” her boss yelled out to her from the grill, where he was frying burgers. He slapped the bell.

She jumped and hurried to Mary-Margaret
, who flipped over her cup and said, “I’ll have a coffee and a menu, please.” She said it loudly enough that the boss could hear. Abby filled her cup. “How are you?” Mary-Margaret asked in a low voice.

Abby glanced over her shoulder. “I’ve got to get my orders
. I’ll get you a menu.”

“Abby
, I’d like to talk to you. Would you have time to take a break? I could meet you after.” Mary-Margaret was watching her with a softness she hadn’t seen in a long time.

“I don’t get off until eleven
, but I have a break coming up. Just let me get these next orders out.” She hurried away before Mary-Margaret could reply and reached for the two plates. Ray, her boss, glared at her with dark eyes. He had graying hair and pockmarked chubby cheeks.

“Ray
, could I take my dinner break after this?” she asked.

“Fine
. After these orders, take fifteen,” he said.

“Thank you.”
She grabbed the plates and set the two dinner specials covered with enough grease and gravy to give anyone a heart attack in front of the two customers at the counter. “Can I get you anything else?” she asked the older couple, but both shook their heads, as they were more interested in eating.

Abby squeezed her hands together
, now sweating and clammy. She could feel herself shaking and did her best to force her feet to move. As she walked over to Mary-Margaret, she wondered whether her knees were knocking together.

She
shoved her hands in her pockets and then slid into the seat across from Mary-Margaret before jumping up. “I forgot your menu,” she stammered.

“I don’t want anything
. I just said that so I could talk to you.” She gripped her wrist and held tight until Abby sat back down. “How are you?”

Abby didn’t know how to answer
and couldn’t help being surprised by how worried Mary-Margaret sounded. “I’m, uh…” She glanced away. How could she tell someone that her entire focus was on getting out of bed in the morning, setting her two feet on the ground, taking a breath without feeling as if her gut were being ripped out of her? Her eyes burned as she glanced at the one woman who had stepped in and pushed her to the very edge before she left. She felt cornered. She had resented Mary-Margaret then, but there was something about time passing. It did have a way of softening everything so that things weren’t so black and white.

“Abby
, is there something I can do, some way I can help you?” she asked, leaning closer and lowering her voice so no one could hear.

“How is Eric
? How are my children?” She didn’t know if she really wanted to know, because it almost killed her every day as she thought about how she’d hurt them. It filled her with such enormous pain that she had to fight the urge every day not to slit her wrists. Her throat started to swell as she tried to swallow.

“They
’re good, Abby. Charlie’s getting so big.” Mary-Margaret pulled her cell phone from her pocket and slid it across the table. “Maybe you’d like to see some pictures I took of Rachel and Charlie,” she suggested.

The phone was right in front of her
, but to see a picture of her children… she thought that would finish her off for sure, looking at them but being denied the right to see them. She picked up the phone and tapped the screen, taking in her little baby, who was so much bigger, sitting in his swing, smiling. He had the most beautiful bright blue eyes, shining and full of life. She gasped before setting her hand over her mouth as her eyes burned with unshed tears. Mary-Margaret reached over and switched the screen, showing a picture of Rachel holding her baby brother. “Oh my God, look! All her front teeth are there,” Abby said.

She had missed so much of her
children’s lives that she felt as if she were a stranger to them. It was unfair. She squeezed the phone and went through all the pictures, and she stopped on one of Eric holding Charlie. It looked as if he’d been laughing.
He’s moved on
was all she could think and see, and she didn’t know how she would survive this.

“I can see you still love him
,” Mary-Margaret said.

Abby instantly flicked her gaze up and
moved her hand to quickly wipe away her tears. She sniffed. “I never stopped loving him. How could I? And my children, I’ve stayed away because I do love them.”

“Abby
, I don’t understand what you’re going through, but I’m trying so hard to make sense of this. Please tell me what I can do to help you, because your children need you, and―”

Abby did one of the hardest things in her life. She cut Mary-Margaret off as she slid the cell phone back to her across the table
. The only thing she wanted to do was hold on to the phone and look at the pictures over and over and over again as she curled up into a ball and wept. “I can’t,” she said. “I’m not ready.”

Mary-Margaret appeared at a loss
, and Abby wondered if she was about to lose it, as her eyes flashed with fury. “Abby, I’m going to say this to you because I care about you, but Eric’s going to move on. He’s seeing someone, another woman. If you wait until you’re ready, it may very well be too late.”

The bell dinged
.

“Abby
, break’s over! Get back to work,” Ray yelled out.

Abby glanced up and saw him
beckon her towards the counter. “I’ve got to go,” she said.

Mary-Margaret stood up and slipped something into her hand.
Abby looked at several dollar bills rolled up. “There’s two hundred dollars there. It’s all I could scrape together. Abby, please, I’m begging you, go talk to Eric.”

The bell dinged again
. Ray was getting impatient.

“I
have to go,” Abby said, and she stuffed the money in her pocket as she hurried back to work.