Vampire Mistress (32 page)

“You know, she’s not going to be pissed at you forever.”

“With a woman, a moment can feel like forever.” Daegan gave a rueful smile, making Gideon feel less like a fool for offering woman advice to a vamp who was obviously . . .

“How old
are
you?”

“Older.” Daegan cocked a brow at him. “Much older. Tonight, I don’t feel those years have given me any wisdom. For all of this, I’ve only found one consistent truth. No matter how strong and fast I am, being too late makes everything else irrelevant. And there will always be times I am too late.”

Gideon understood that feeling, so powerfully that he had a horrifying impulse to reach out to the other man, grip his shoulder in silent empathy. Fortunately, he didn’t have to cut off his arm to curb the impulse, because Daegan spoke again.

“I would just . . .” He shook his head, closed his eyes. “I almost wish as she did. That I’d never met her, never brought her into my life. I’d rather have spent my whole life with no one, than have given her a moment of pain.”

Gideon’s brow creased. Surely he didn’t mean . . . Daegan had never let
anyone
get as close as Anwyn? That was unusual in itself, but it was even more unusual for a vampire to say something like that straight-out, especially about a human. It confirmed his suspicion, that there seemed to be quite a few things about Daegan Rei that didn’t fit vampire etiquette.

“So if you love her, why
didn’t
you ever mark her?”

“You heard why. I agreed not to do so. She didn’t wish to be my servant.”

He hadn’t denied his love for her, a human. But he’d never told her outright, obviously. Christ. No wonder things were so twisted up between them. Gideon gave him an exasperated look. “I’m not saying you’re like that scum that attacked her, but I know the dynamic. You’re not the kind that asks. You overwhelm until you get what you want.”

Daegan shook his head. “Yes, but the victory is not true when it’s won that way. Regardless of how my nature compels me to take Anwyn over, before I cross that line, she has to make the vital decision to invite me over it. As you did, when you met her.”

“I never said—”

“Very often, it’s not spoken.” Daegan reached out, slid his fingers down the blade of the misericord. “A good Master or Mistress knows how to read every flicker of the gaze, shift of the body. Very often a submissive needs to fight before surrender occurs. He must prove that Master or Mistress is the one who has the essential arsenal to defeat his defenses, deserve his surrender.

“She’s a Mistress, Gideon. A very strong one. Though my nature makes me stronger, such that she has submitted to me under certain circumstances, I never intended to force her acceptance of a life that is against her true nature. It would dishonor the very reason she drew me to her in the first place.” He suppressed a sigh. “And yet, now, she is part of a world where Dominance and submission often walk the line of tyranny and brutality. She will see things in my world that will be a sacrilege to someone like her.”

Gideon knew there was no arguing with that, and they stood in silence for several more minutes, staring at that cache of weapons. At least crossbows and guns were something he could understand, though he often employed them against an incomprehensible world. He wondered if Daegan ever felt that way. He was definitely getting that feeling, which gave him more of that unwelcome sense of bonding. He moved slightly away from the other male, but Daegan didn’t appear to notice. Gideon cleared his throat.

“You met her here?”

“Yes. Five years ago.” He lifted his gaze back to Gideon. “She’s a sorceress, one who weaves a very dark and tempting web around herself. Only certain people can get to the center of that web. Before this happened, I was as close to that center as our relationship permitted, but now it seems she is doing her best to restructure that web so I cannot get back to her heart.”

“Not that I’m relishing the chance to throw the Grasshopper stuff right back at you, but that one’s pretty obvious. You represent what her world is going to become, a world she didn’t ask for. She’s working through it. She’ll figure it out.”

When she did, the gift of trust she’d invested in Gideon so unexpectedly would likely be irrelevant. That erratic third-wheel feeling he kept having would become a constant tread, not just the occasional bump in the road. Good thing he wasn’t planning on doing this forever, right?

Before he could slice his gut any deeper with that knife, he shifted his thoughts to something more productive. “In the meantime, if she doesn’t want us around her, why don’t we coax her into wanting to be around us?”

“Coax?” Daegan lifted that patrician brow again. For some reason, Gideon was oddly reminded of the stained glass angel. He expected that was what had attracted Anwyn to it.

“Yeah.” Gideon snorted. “For most of us poor bastards, coaxing women is a fact of life.”

“Based on what I know of your personality, you must have tremendous experience.”

“Nope. Rarely get that far. But my gut usually helps me out. She said something about wanting to dance to a song about the terrible and wonderful parts of love. One of her favorites. You know it?”

Daegan nodded. He moved toward the music cabinet, but spoke over his shoulder. “I think she will surprise us both in the end, Gideon. As I think you will surprise yourself. You have already surprised me, and that is not an easy thing to do.”

Gideon grunted at that, but as Daegan scrolled through the selection, the vampire took
him
off guard. “So, when you spoke to your brother, what did Lyssa decide you could know about me?”

“You know everything. Why don’t you tell me?”

Daegan tossed him a humorless look. “You and your brother are very close. He trusts you, and Lyssa trusts him. So I expect she told you that I am a Council assassin.”

“Yeah. She knows I have no friends and am likely to get myself killed anytime now, so she figures your secret’s pretty safe.”

“Lady Lyssa is usually a very good judge of character.” Daegan gave an absent half chuckle. “But I know you will keep her confidence. Because you love your brother, not for any love you bear me.”

“Given.” Gideon took a seat on the couch arm, watching him. “So, in essence, you’re a vampire hunter, like me.”

“I am a vampire hunter. Not like you.”

Gideon watched the male’s shoulders flex as he twisted, the denim tightening over lean flanks as he squatted to look at a lower rack. He blinked at himself. Jesus, the pheromone-soaked environment was re ally affecting him if he was checking out the guy’s ass.

“What does that mean, not like you? You aiming for a pissing contest on numbers?”

“No.” Daegan’s tone sharpened, a mild warning and reassurance at once. “I understand your anger about your fiancé, Gideon. But that kind of anger has to do with your own self, your fear of her pain and your own shortcomings. She is beyond her pain, and you loved her. You would have done anything to keep her safe, and she is where she knows that. So forgive yourself, and move on. While killing makes the gods weep, justice is their Will. Vengeance, death out of mindless impulse and violence, fear and insecurity, are not.”

Alarmed to feel his throat thickening, Gideon set his jaw. “You don’t talk about her. And all that’s just more Grasshopper crap.”

“You need to listen, and hear it.” Daegan held his gaze. “Vampires are not the only ones I am dispatched to kill, Gideon Green. Your name has been on my list for some time. It was your brother who saved your life.”

Gideon stopped in midretort. “Jacob never said—”

“No, he and I have never spoken. You were taking out vampires indiscriminately, vampires like Trey as well as Barnabus.” Daegan’s focus was unwavering now. “You were on the Council’s list, after the Gathering. I began tracking you, collecting data on whether or not your execution was warranted.”

“I thought a vampire like you barely had to think twice to kill a human.”

“I plan and think about every assignment I’m given, thoroughly. Now be silent for a moment. Listen with something other than your anger.” Daegan rose, faced him, as Gideon bit down on an uncharitable response. The male was going to tell him how he knew so damn much about him. He could always stake him after that. Or throw some serious insults his way.

“Your kill pattern changed around that time. I realized Jacob was giving you the names of vampires that fell squarely in line with those I am given to dispatch, because of their numerous Council violations. I have not shared that with the Council, because the truce toward your brother and the lady Lyssa is still very fragile.

“I reported instead that your target acquisition was changing, and you were handling the lesser vampires that would have made my list anyway, thereby saving the Council the trouble of being connected to those deaths. If you were killed, which they agreed was inevitable, two birds would be gotten with one stone. We agreed that I would monitor you and, if your kill pattern changed again, our strategy would change as well.”

Daegan’s dark eyes held Gideon’s blue ones, and the space between them seemed much smaller. “If things had not happened as they have, you would have been on that list again after the other night. Because of Trey.”

Son of a bitch
. Gideon repeated it in his mind, too flummoxed to speak it aloud, though tension made every muscle rigid. Bastard had been tracking him, had an execution order, but decided not to carry it out because Gideon had become Jacob’s lackey . . .

The vampire turned back to the music. “I found the song. Do you wish to pursue this now, or do I need to unkink the knot I’ve put in your dick?”

“I’m half tempted to put one in yours.”

Daegan gave him a sanguine smile then, the sharp ends of his teeth glistening. “If you want to touch my cock, vampire hunter, you need only beg to do so.”

Before Gideon could answer that, and follow it up with a sucker punch, Daegan added, “Why don’t you call her in your mind? See if she’ll come join us.”

“Just put the song in. Crank it up. Let’s see if she nibbles at the bait.”

As Daegan complied and the first strains of the song cut through the air, he commented, “Perhaps she’s already heard our conversation.”

“She said she’d try not to pry without permission, once she gets a handle on it.”

Daegan’s expression closed down. “Sometimes a made vampire attempts to hold on to her or his humanity, the rules of morality that apply to that species. But in time they discover our world is different, and every advantage and resource must be utilized. The relationship between servant and vampire is key to survival, the surrender of the servant to the vampire’s needs. Your understanding, and acceptance of that, will help her.”

“Sorry. Neither of us thought to take Becoming an Immortal Vampire 101 before Barnabus came looking for you.”

A muscle twitched in Daegan’s jaw. For a moment, Gideon thought they’d have a go at a far more physical sparring match, but then Anwyn opened her bedroom door.

21

D
AEGAN knew the song, of course, but Gideon had to have been the one who suggested it. Anwyn stepped out of her room to see the two of them squared off. There were a few feet between them, but the combustible energy suggested they were about to become a lot closer, and not in a good way. She wanted to be angry with them both, but she knew how males dealt with worry. Daegan’s temper was hard to rouse, but once it was provoked, it took a while for it to settle. She remembered one night she’d deliberately goaded him, purely for the repercussions. He’d made her pay for it in a variety of dark and delicious ways that had lasted well past dawn, until even her pleasure-sated body was weeping in exhaustion. And then, he’d taken her once more, to underscore the point, a serious message beneath the sensual play.

She’d pricked at him a lot worse than that these past couple days, but he kept holding back. Perversely, she wanted to push him over the edge, give him a reason to unleash toward her, scald them both in a response that would take them past everything. But it wouldn’t. They’d just proven that, hadn’t they? Though of course he’d been far from losing his damnable control or command of the situation.

There was blood on his white shirt, but her new senses picked up the scent, told her it was his own, an inconsequential cut. More of the games that boys played, of course. The music curled around her. Rufus Wainwright’s version of “Hallelujah.” The whimsical piano introduction provided the lead-in to the rough, emotion-laden voice, telling her what love was and wasn’t. Pulling everything from a lover, taking his strength and making him grateful for the privilege of having it taken. Love, a broken cry on a rainy day, not an unbridled shout of joy in the sunshine. The erotic and spiritual come together in one poignant yearning, joy and bitter pain mixed.

She realized then she was still standing in her doorway, only now her eyes were closed, her body swaying to it. Her senses detected him before he reached her, so she was already willing, moving into his grasp as Gideon’s arms slid around her waist. She did like a man who didn’t hesitate when she needed his decisiveness. And she had two of those in abundance. “I think you said something about dancing?” His voice was a murmur, as riveting as Rufus’s.

No need to talk about what had happened in those last uncomfortable moments in the shower. Not now. Not until she was ready. They would give her that, and she might choose to continue to avoid the issues that seemed insurmountable.

Instead, she put her hands on his chest, stepping forward in a slow two-step, following the music. She kept her eyes closed, letting him lead. He knew the two-step. Small miracles. Wasn’t there another song about those? She supposed there was a song about everything that had ever bloomed in the heart or bludgeoned it.

Moving one of her hands from Gideon’s chest to his waiting palm, she made it a dance position so that they could execute a turn around the room. His left leading, her right following. Then Daegan’s hand settled on her waist from behind, his other coming up over theirs to clasp both as he fell into step, his jaw against her temple briefly, his heat closing the circle around her.

She leaned back into him, but brought Gideon in closer as well, so they had to go to a simple sway or get their feet tangled. Her lips curved at the thought, and Gideon’s mouth brushed hers. Daegan’s teased her ear. Not sexual, though with two such men, there was always the simmering possibility. Just . . . present.

Her other hand still lay on Gideon’s chest, and she stroked his pectoral muscle through the cotton, then decided to shift and lay her head there. Daegan kissed her nape, making her shiver. Soon there’d be another seizure to deal with, the whispers escalating to frightening, screeching voices in her head, the immersion in blood and pain. She’d pass the time this way, rather than fight.

Letting the fragile bond between them rebuild itself as it wished, she drifted in Gideon’s mind. Daegan had told her to practice drawing the curtain, but right now she didn’t have the mental strength. She was glad she didn’t. He was thinking about that night, the one he’d told her about.
Once, a long time ago . . . I spent the night with a woman like you. She was a vampire, and she flat took the reins away from me, took every choice away
. . .

She was startled when she saw the vision in his clouds of memory and realized that the vampire in question was his brother’s Mistress, Lady Lyssa. Though she’d not met that lady, the other male in the three-some was quite obviously his brother, as handsome and appealing as Gideon, in a different way. Seeing them with her, the beautiful ebony-haired vampire with jade eyes, Anwyn was surprised by a prick of possessiveness, watching another strong woman claim Gideon, however transitory a moment it had been. But when she pushed that aside, went deeper in his thoughts, a forest she hadn’t traveled before, no paths or light, she saw how time had stopped for him then, bringing his conflicted soul to a place of unexpected stillness.

Like whenever the three of them came together like this, no matter their differences or worries.

Was that her thought or his? She wasn’t sure. Gideon was conscious of Daegan’s hand folded over both of theirs, how the men’s forearms crossed where they held her around the waist. He was ambivalent toward the heat of Daegan’s skin, the press of his fingers.

As a Mistress, she’d seen plenty of men who weren’t gay enjoy another man’s body, because they’d learned what most girls learned at an early age, that it was arousing to play with another body, no matter the gender. After all, masturbation was done on oneself, a female arousing a female body, or a male arousing a male body. She’d also seen situations where two men loved, but never thought of themselves as gay. She liked that. Love shouldn’t be stuck into a box with a label. She hated confined spaces, particularly in the mind.

Daegan had put the song on repeat, so she was able to keep rocking with that lullaby rhythm, swaying within their armspans. Now she dipped under their arms, turned so she was behind Gideon. Sliding her arms around his waist, she worked her fingers up his chest, teasing his nipples through the T-shirt as she pressed herself against his buttocks, rubbing herself against the denim separating them. She spread her fingers wide, went down to his lean waist. Deliberately avoiding what she could feel and see in his mind was hardening for her, she brought her hands around to his back, followed the channel of his spine up to the broad flare of shoulders.

He’d come to a stop, of course. Daegan remained where he was, eying her, likely wondering what she was doing. If he wanted to know, he could just look, right? Though he’d told her a vampire could push out another vampire, it wasn’t something she could do right now. He’d forced her to trust him without earning that trust.

Of course, if he was honoring at least one promise to her, he wasn’t in her mind. Earlier, when she’d lain in her bed, drifting to sleep amid a lovely composition of gruff, off-tune, gritty love songs from Gideon, Daegan’s voice had entered the arena. She’d stiffened, but his presence had been brief, short statements.

You do not have to answer,
cher
, but I wanted you to know this. I will limit my time in your mind to whenever it is a necessity, or when we are physically intimate. I will respect your privacy as long as it does not compromise your safety.

She’d had something short and succinct to say to that. He’d withdrawn without further comment. Pushing aside any guilt at her behavior, she’d focused on Gideon’s charming attempts to soothe her.

Regardless, they didn’t need a mind-link for this. When she met Daegan’s gaze, she could tell he picked up her intent quickly. She’d never shared a submissive with him, because of what he was. Even with her, he’d held back because of his strength, or how violent his nature could truly become. A whole part of who he was might now be open to her. In the glittering calculation in his gaze, the arousal and curiosity mixed, she realized it was. She was far more interested in diving into that than dealing with any more anger or resentments.

For the moment.

Tightening her hand in cotton, she turned Gideon around, following feeling and desire, letting go of thought. When she leaned into him, pushing up on her toes to reach his mouth, Daegan stepped up, his hands coming to Gideon’s hips to steady him.

Gideon immediately stiffened.
I don’t want him there.

Yes, you do.
She brought her gaze up to his wary expression.
It feels right, the three of us, doesn’t it? That’s what you find difficult to accept, not his hands on you. Nothing is going to happen. He’s only going to help me bring you more pleasure. Bring me more pleasure.

Anywn curled her arm around his neck, inched even closer so she could press her breasts, loose under her light dress, against the thin T-shirt. If he kept washing this one out, it would never dry, she mused, registering the dampness.

When Gideon would have put his arms around her, Daegan’s grip slid down to his biceps, held him. Tension instantly radiated from her servant, but she murmured softly against his lips, “Shhh. Just let me kiss you. Give yourself to me.”
Give yourself to us.

Daegan’s mind flickered like a hot flame.
He’s not ready for what you want, Anwyn. Do not push him too far.

Just a taste. To help him recognize a man or woman’s need to fight before surrender. Wasn’t that what you told him earlier?
She couldn’t tell if Gideon could hear Daegan’s voice in her head, or if Daegan had the ability to block that, but Gideon wasn’t thinking anything directly toward her. He remained wary, though his fingers were curled into loose fists.

You were eavesdropping.
Daegan’s thoughts held a mild amusement with the reproof.
He is going to bolt in a moment,
cher
. I will have to wrestle him to the ground for you.

That brought a very tempting flash in her head, of the two men in such a contest of wills, neither one wearing much of anything. She’d often thought she needed to live during the time of Greek Olympics, when the contestants competed naked, watching a beautiful male body pushed to the limits of its endurance.

Now, thinking of that strength, she indulged herself. She knew it wasn’t kind, because he’d already clearly told her his clothing options were limited, but she’d had a difficult couple of days. This was her version of indulging in a high-calorie dessert to soothe nerves, or stimulate them in an entirely different way.

She ripped the cloth like paper, tore it right down the front, greedy fingers seeking his skin.

It stimulated more than her nerves. Jerking forward against Daegan’s hold, Gideon caught her mouth in a hot, demanding kiss. When she put her hands on top of Daegan’s, the vampire’s grip was iron. Gideon’s biceps were bunched in a rippling display of strength that said it would take nothing less than a vampire to restrain him. Or her demands, she thought, remembering their brief session.

I wanted you to prove that you could belong to me, Gideon. Remember? It’s not time to give me that answer, but give me yourself now. I’ll make you come so hard you’ll forget everything but my desires.

Leaning back, she held his gaze. She slipped the belt out of his jeans, tugged to bring it all the way off. As she rolled it around both hands, she enjoyed the feel of the worn strap. An item that had the pleasure of hugging the erotic area of the waist and hip, those muscles that moved in such a mesmerizing way when he walked. Despite her erratic mood at the time, she’d enjoyed them with avid hunger when he’d come out of the shower with her and Daegan. Wet jeans snug on his hips and water beading on his body. His hair slicked back, emphasizing those brilliant blue eyes, the hard jaw, the dark shadow that was always there.

“I want him to let me go.”

His voice was rough, and she saw that dangerous edge that she knew rested at the core of Gideon’s nature.
Not a psychopath, but too close to it . . .
She had no need to worry about that part of him anymore. She could handle it, could handle him.

“I know. Do you trust me, Gideon?”

“It depends on what you want.” He cleared a clogged throat. “Trust isn’t all or nothing.”

“At some point, it has to be.” Her gaze shifted then, holding Daegan’s briefly. “Or you know you have nothing.”

“Take it or leave it.” Gideon’s blue eyes met hers. “It’s the best you’re going to get right now.”

She arched a brow, recognizing the challenge for what it was. “Daegan is holding you for me. Because I like to see how tense your muscles get while another male holds you back.” Her voice softened, yet became more implacable at once. She wanted this, and she thought she wanted it enough that he wouldn’t be able to deny her. “All you need to do is submit to me, for this. Your choice, until things get far enough along that it all becomes my choice.” When she registered the tremor he couldn’t stifle through those solid muscles, she moistened her lips. “Your body wants it; your soul wants it. Shut down your mind and give yourself over to me.”

She was surprised to see in his mind how she gained his capitulation. It had nothing to do with her vampirism. Everything she was saying and being right now was the same as what Anwyn the human Mistress had been to him. The command in her voice, the direct look of her blue-green gaze, had his cock stiff and aching, screaming at him to give her what she wanted.

“If you’re in my head,” he said, low, “I guess you know what I want.”

“I didn’t read what you want from your mind,” she whispered.
Gideon, I’ve been reading minds for a long time.
“Being able to actually do it is a little distracting. I get not only truths, but laundry lists and meanderings into places that make little sense, like indigestion dreams.” A light smile touched her lips. “Snippets of commercials you’ve seen, a beer you want, a flash from childhood. Your reaction to my touch. I like that part, but the rest can be a little overwhelming.”

“I like to revisit
Girls Gone Wild
videos in my head when I go to sleep. Like counting sheep, only I’m counting—”