Unraveled (29 page)

She wanted to scream that he couldn’t make assumptions when she hadn’t made any decisions
about that. Instead she snapped, “My personal relationship with Knox isn’t your business,
Deacon.”

“Yes, it is. Who do you think he’ll lean on after you’re gone? Won’t be Ronin, because
he’s firmly on Team Shiori.”

“Where is Knox right now?”

“Like I said, I don’t know. But even if I did? I wouldn’t tell you.”

Last night Shiori had thought she couldn’t feel worse or more alone.

Turned out she was wrong.

SATURDAY
night Knox went to Twisted.

Security was on the slim side, so Merrick had been glad to see him and put him to
work.

For the first two hours Knox tended bar. He kept his eyes on the new submissives who
seemed determined to cause a scene—and not the good kind of scene.

The bar stayed busy. When it slowed down, he got to catch up with the regulars, who
asked why they hadn’t seen him in the past few weeks.

Because I have a Mistress. And it’s a little fucked-up with my refusal to let her
claim me in public even when she’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to
me.

That’s why Knox hadn’t removed his bracelet before coming to the club. But none of
the regulars had commented on it, which he found odd.

Since the club members exchanged first names only, Knox had deemed the conversations
here superficial. But Merrick claimed money and job prestige automatically segregated
people. By having their baser desires out in the open, it brought like minds together,
not like bank accounts.

That was another wrinkle in the Shiori situation.

But he didn’t want to think about that right now. He tried to refocus his attention
on the clubgoers around him. He should talk to Bobby Sue about why she chooses men
who are old enough to be her father. Talk to Ridge about the appeal of violet wands.
Talk to Merrick about—

“Knox?”

He spun around and smiled when he saw the redhead at the bar. “Vanessa. I haven’t
seen you in ages. How’ve you been? You’re looking good.”

Vanessa blushed. “Thanks. I’ve been working out of town. But to be honest, I considered
giving up my membership.”

“Why?”

“I’m just not getting what I need out of it anymore.”

“Weren’t you hooked up with Master Jack?”

“For a short time. But he’s not a one-sub guy, and I’ve no interest in being part
of a harem.”

He rested his elbows on the bar. “What are you looking for tonight? I can give you
the rundown of what’s happening. It’s probably not too late to get in on the disco
orgy at the main stage.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Might be fun to watch, but too many players. Once, at an orgy
I turned my head and this guy was about to stick his dick in my ear.”

“No shit?”

“I’m thinking . . . of all the holes in this room you can put it in, you’re eyeing
my ear?”

He laughed for the first time in forty-eight hours.

“You have a great laugh, Knox.” Her gaze lingered on his chest. “You have a great
everything. So what are you doing here?”

“Helping out. I needed a distraction from my real life.”

“I could be that distraction, if you’re interested.”

Knox picked up her hand and kissed her knuckles. “I’m flattered. And if I weren’t
spoken for, I’d take you up on it.”

“That sounds like a permanent spoken for, not just tonight.” She curled her hand around
her glass and studied the bracelet dangling from his wrist. “Am I right?”

“Yeah. It’s a little fucked-up. Actually, it’s a lot fucked-up.” He sighed. “Sounds
like paradise, huh?”

“Rough times are what makes the good times so sweet.”

Before his bar shift ended, Master Dan approached him. “Hey, Knox, you have free time
tonight?”

“As of right now, I’m on security for two hours and then I’ll get a break.”

“Can I schedule you?”

“Sure. Just have someone tell me what room you book.” But chances were high it’d be
the green room, since he preferred it.

“Great. Thanks.”

Master Dan was a pain slut. Normally he had Master V the sadist work him over, so
Master V must not be here.

Soon thereafter Greg relieved him from bar duty and sent him to monitor the orgy.
Not his favorite assignment only because watching orgies was too damn distracting.

“Knox?”

He half turned toward the male sub Vic. “Yeah?”

“Are you booked for tonight?”

“I’ve got a couple of things going on. Why?”

“I’d like to book you for half an hour. Just me.”

“What’ve you worked up to now?”

“Canes. It’ll be my first time.”

“Okay. I’ve got one that’ll work. Look for me in the green room.”

After the orgy group took a break, he did too. He prowled the halls, telling himself
he wasn’t looking for an exotic woman wearing a mask.

But he didn’t know what he’d do or say if he ran into her.

Any doubts he’d shoved aside about letting her define his orientation had come back
stronger than ever.

If he was truly submissive, he wouldn’t have a problem telling people in the club.
People outside the club didn’t matter; he didn’t ask for the gritty details on their
sex lives, so offering up his own preferences wasn’t an issue.

The other thing that’d been niggling in the back of his mind? Most of the time Shiori
didn’t feel like a Domme.

What if when she came to America she’d created this whole new persona for herself?
Even her background in the Tokyo clubs could’ve been fabricated if she’d paid the
right person enough money. God knew she had plenty of the green stuff.

But his angry mental accusations didn’t ring true either.

Shiori
was
a Domme. He suspected she’d been an unsatisfied Domme as she tried to find her own
way. She was such a sexual woman; how could she take on subs who weren’t fulfilling
that need in her? He might still have reservations about how far he’d be willing to
follow submissive behavior, but he couldn’t imagine anything he’d rather do than spend
time naked with Shiori, catering to her every sexual need.

Yes, sexual incompatibility hadn’t ever been a problem for them.

It wasn’t doing him any good dwelling on this shit, so he cut down the hallway and
knocked on the door to the green room.

Master Dan waited completely naked. He wore a different expression from his usual—normally
anticipation was etched on every line in his face. Tonight he looked like he’d already
been beaten.

That set him on edge. As far as Knox had seen, Master Dan didn’t have any limits for
pain play. They’d discussed a safe word one time, and the man had never uttered it—not
even the one time Knox had accidentally made him bleed. “So, Master Dan, you know
I’m gonna ask what’s up.”

“What do you mean?”

“First, why aren’t you having Master V give you what you need? And second, why have
you got more dread going on than excitement? Sets off my warning bells, man.”

Master Dan slumped in the only chair in the room. “You noticed that, huh?” He sighed.
“Of course you noticed because you’re damn good at what you do.”

“Thanks . . . I think?”

“You don’t take that as a compliment?”

Knox scratched his head. “I don’t know how to take it. As it’s something I can’t put
on a résumé. ‘I excel at beating the fuck out of men with whips, canes, and floggers.
I’ve been given excellent recommendations from the masochists on being able to deliver
extreme pain without breaking the skin. Sorry. No references are available because
of privacy restrictions.’”

Master Dan looked at him sharply. “Having a crisis of faith, son?”

Knox didn’t mind that Master Dan called him
son
, since he was Knox’s elder by twenty years. “Yeah, I am.”

“Can I help?”

Here was a chance for an unbiased opinion. “How would you categorize me?”

Master Dan scrutinized him to the point where Knox felt fidgety. “Gut reaction?”

“Yeah.”

“A switch.” Master Dan grinned. “Surprised?”

“A little. So you must know I’ll ask you why.”

“Because you couldn’t do this”—he gestured to the wall with the instruments of pain—“if
you weren’t somewhat Dominant. No offense, but no one would trust a submissive to
get the job done. And you have earned the trust of the most experienced Masters here.”

“But?”

“But being a pain expert isn’t sexual for you. You don’t get off on it like sadists
do. And you have a hard line against using your skills on a woman. Which to me says
you hold women in a higher regard than men. You’re in security, and that proves you
have a protective nature. So when it comes to sex, I’d say you were submissive.
But not to just any Domme. And yes, it has to be a real Domme you’ll submit to, not
just a bossy bitch in the real world.”

“How the fuck did you know all that?” But what Knox wanted to ask was how long Master
Dan had suspected that about him.

“Being a Master or a Mistress—a good one at least—involves more than agreeing to a
temporary power exchange for a mutually beneficial sexual encounter. I’ve learned
to read people. Am I always right? Nine times out of ten. But that’s only because
I’ve had years of practice.”

“So I’ve been in self-denial? Because until I met her, it never even crossed my radar
that I’m submissive.”

Master Dan shook his head. “No. I suspect you didn’t know because you’d never met
a Domme who made you curious enough to explore those tendencies. And since you’re
a big, macho guy, I can only guess how much that freaked you out.”

“It did.”

“Past tense?”

“I’ve accepted it—more or less.”

“That isn’t convincing me, Knox.”

“It’s complicated. My Mistress . . . She and I work together. For lack of a better
way to explain it, I’m her boss. So we do have real-world power exchanges and adjustments.
I thought I was the one having a harder time making the transition, but then she completely
fucking blindsided me in a work situation.”

“That does make it more difficult. This happened recently?”

“Two days ago. I’ve been avoiding her ever since because I don’t know what comes next.”
He sent Master Dan a sheepish look. “I figured putting my skill set to use on someone
here would help me forget. Not good to be here and be unfocused. So I’m sorry I won’t
be able to help you tonight.”

“You’ve helped me more than you realize. More than whipping the shit out of me would
have.”

“Really? Why?”

“As you could tell when you walked in this room tonight, I came here for the wrong
reasons. So talking to you has brought me out of the dark place I sometimes drift
into.”

“Are you involved with a sub right now?”

He smiled sadly and pulled on his clothes. “No. Hence the dark place.”

“Are you looking for a distraction?”

“Maybe. Why? You playing matchmaker now?”

“That comment might’ve earned you extra-hard lashes next time.” He grinned. “Do you
know Vanessa the sub? She’s somewhere between my age and yours?”

Master Dan’s interest perked up. “Very curvy redhead?”

“That’s her. I was talking to her earlier at the bar. She’s having some of those same
thoughts you are, so maybe you two could commiserate together.”

“I’ll see if she’s still around. Thanks for the tip.”

Knox remained in the room for ten minutes, waiting for Vic, who only showed up about
half of the time, until he gave up and returned to the main bar area.

The place had filled up.

Just as he headed to the bar to tell Greg he was done for the night, he heard a familiar
voice saying his name. It was like music coming from her lips. He turned around slowly,
wondering if he’d just imagined her voice because he needed to hear it so badly.

It was Shiori, acting every inch the Domme in tight black leather pants, a crop top
emblazoned with watercolor images of peacock feathers, and a vivid blue eye mask.

Dammit. She looked good enough to eat. One tiny bite at a time.

He bowed to her. “Mistress B.” Then he started to retreat.

She grabbed on to his forearm. “Knox, wait. I came tonight to talk to you.”

“How’d you know I’d be here?”

“I didn’t. I just hoped you would be after trying to get in touch with you since Friday
morning.”

“This is not the place for the discussion we need to have. You know that. And I don’t
appreciate you showing up at Twisted expecting me to fall in line to deal with a problem
that has nothing to do with our intimate relationship.”

“You really think I’d do that? Try to enforce the Domme-sub rules here between us
now?”

“Why else would you be here and not sitting on my front porch?”

“Because I tried that for a few hours and you didn’t come home.”

Knox could see the bruises on her face even beneath the mask, and his mind’s eye quickly
imagined how the rest of her body was ravaged—and that pissed him the fuck off.

“How bad?” he gritted out.

Shiori didn’t play coy. “Bad. No TKO. But after the first round, I knew I didn’t stand
a chance against her.” Her haunted eyes searched his. “I knew you were right.”

“Jesus, Shiori.” Then he remembered where they were. “What am I supposed to do with
that admission now? It fucking kills me that you got into the ring with her.”

Her words tumbled out in a rush of emotion. “I’m cocky, and it bit me in the ass.
I proved what a know-it-all bitch I can be. I accused you of using our personal relationship
to keep me from stepping in the ring with her even when you tried to convince me it
wasn’t personal. I’m stubborn. And it didn’t help matters that I was jealous and I
took the chance to beat the piss out of a woman you used to fuck. So I was the one
who used our relationship as a reason to defy you. And in doing so I realized—too
late—that I’d undermined you in the worst way possible.” She took a second to breathe.
“I’m sorry. It’s not enough, and it’s probably too late, but you need to know that
I didn’t walk away Thursday night unscathed. And my hurt had nothing to do with the
pain Mia inflicted on me.”

They stared at each other.

“Where do we go from here?” she asked.

There was the opening to ask the question that’d been weighing on him. “What’s your
favorite part of being a Domme?”

She blinked at him, startled at the change in subject. “What?”

“Answer the question. What’s your favorite part of being a Domme?”

“Not my favorite part of being
your
Domme?”