Authors: Lorelei James
Tags: #Fiction, #Literary, #Romance, #Erotica, #Contemporary
His sinking feeling became more acute. That was the night he’d gotten drunk. Jesus.
Had he said something so wrong and stupid that she packed up?
Liberty leaned as close as her belly allowed. “Level with me. You’re a big guy; she’s
a little whip of a thing. Did you somehow hurt her and it scared her, so she bailed?”
He bit back a laugh. “No. I’ll admit we had a fight that night. But I never imagined
it’d result in this.”
“You said you had problems at the dojo where you both worked? Where is that?”
Knox didn’t blame this woman for her suspicions, but he couldn’t give too much away.
“We’re both at Black Arts. I am—or I was—Sensei Ronin Black’s second-in-command. And
before you ask, no, I haven’t contacted Ronin. I came here first.”
“I’d try the next place on your list, then, because she doesn’t live here anymore.”
“Fuck.” He pushed to his feet and waited until Liberty stood. “Thanks for your help.”
“No problem.” She eyed him with speculation.
“What? I swear I didn’t hurt her.” His voice dropped. “I could never hurt her.”
“I believe you. I was just wondering about your comment regarding not being Ronin
Black’s second-in-command any longer. Does that mean you’re looking for work?”
That’d come out of left field. “Maybe. Why?”
Liberty unhooked a small purse that Knox hadn’t even noticed—he suspected she was
carrying concealed too—and handed him a business card.
It read: GSC
.
S
ECURITY
S
PECIALISTS
.
His eyes met hers in a silent question.
“We’re diverse in our services. With your military background and your martial-arts
abilities, we’d definitely be interested in talking to you. Not necessarily for security
work in the field, but we have a very active training program for our existing security
specialists.”
“Thank you. After I get this mess straightened out, I’ll look you up.”
“Cool. Good luck.”
Knox returned to his truck. His irritation surfaced again. He’d checked his phone
as soon as he’d had service and he didn’t have a single missed call or any angry texts.
His calls to Shiori’s cell had gone right to voice mail.
That’s when he remembered he hadn’t listened to Ronin’s message from yesterday morning.
He hit playback. Ronin’s deadly quiet tone sent a shiver up his spine.
“I don’t know what the fuck you’ve done or where the hell you are, but I came in to
my office this morning and found a letter of resignation from my sister. Along with
a note that indicated she’d returned to Japan.”
Knox hit pause.
She’d really left. She’d left him.
Fury, fear, frustration filled him, choked him, grabbed him by the balls. He clutched
his phone so tightly he popped the case off. Then he forced himself to set it down
so he didn’t crush it.
Breathe. Goddammit, breathe.
Once the roaring in his head quit and the white spots cleared from his eyes, he resumed
listening to the call.
“What the fuck? You’re MIA, Shiori is gone, and that’s a clusterfuck of epic proportions.
If I find out that you hurt her in any way, so help me god I will . . . No, Jesus,
Amery! Let go. Give me back my goddamn phone.” Knox stared at the screen, and a moment
of silence passed before Amery’s voice came on the recording. She spoke rapidly and
quietly. “Knox. After you get this message, come see me at work—don’t go to Black
Arts. You did me a solid once, and I owe you.”
The call ended.
Fuck.
At least he knew which direction he was going.
* * *
SO
maybe he was a little wild-eyed when he stormed into Hardwick Designs half an hour
later.
Molly was in his face first. “What the fuck did you do to her to make her go away?”
“Back off.”
“I’m so mad at you right now, if I had my gloves on I’d pound on you.”
Knox exhaled. “I’d let you do it. Maybe then I’d feel something besides being absolutely
fucking numb.”
Her eyes widened.
“You think I’m not dying inside right now?”
Amery stepped between them. “Molly, get back to work.” Then she looked at Knox. “My
office.”
She scooted behind her desk and pointed to the chair opposite it.
But Knox ignored her and placed his palms on her desk. “Ronin wasn’t bullshitting
me through voice mail? She’s gone to Japan?”
“Yes. And sit down.”
He dragged the chair closer. “Talk.”
“You first. What happened?”
“After Ronin made her Shihan? I needed time alone to think things through. I came
back into town today, ready to deal with the demotion, ready to do whatever it took
to keep her in my life. And I discover she’s moved out of her leased penthouse? None
of this was even on my radar, Amery.”
“It wasn’t on ours either.” She tapped her fingers on the desk. “I suspected the reason
you two always fought is because you were fighting your attraction for each other.
I’m guessing you’re good for each other. I’m also guessing it’s never been casual.”
He shook his head.
“Ronin is being pulled in ten different directions. I told him not to implement changes
all at one time, so I’m just glad he’s not doing it all himself and he’s passed some
of the duties on to you.”
“You mean that he demoted me?”
Now Amery looked confused. “He swapped titles, but your responsibilities as dojo GM
didn’t change. Ronin said you didn’t give him an answer about taking over more of
the Black and Blue Promotions duties while you’re studying for your next belt-level
test.”
“Whoa.” He made the time-out sign. “What are you talking about?”
Amery slammed her hands on the desk. “I fucking knew it! I
told
Ronin not to lay all of this on you at once! I warned him after he dropped the news
about the Shihan thing first that you’d be in shock and would zone out and not hear
a goddamn word he said about anything else.”
“How’d you know?”
“It happens to everyone. Hell, it happened to him, and he’s conveniently forgotten
that.”
“So getting shitfaced immediately after that because I believed my career with the
dojo was over . . . was premature?”
“That’s what happened?”
He sighed. “Yeah. I know Shiori came over. I don’t know what the fuck I said.”
“Knox. That sucks.”
“Have you talked to her?”
She shook her head. “No one has. We’ve all tried to call her, and she hasn’t responded.
I did reach out to Tammy, their mother, and she said Shiori was in Tokyo.”
“I stopped by her place. She moved out, sounds like the night she came to see me.”
Knox laced his hands on top of his head and closed his eyes. “So yeah, I’m thinking
it was something I did or said. How the fuck do I fix this, Amery?”
“What are you willing to do to fix it?”
“Anything. Everything.” Images of Shiori flashed behind his lids. “I want her for
the long haul.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
Knox opened his eyes and frowned at her. “I’m lost.”
“Yes, you are. You don’t know what you said that might’ve chased her away. Words can
hurt, but words can heal too.”
“You sure?”
Amery shrugged. “Relatively. Unless you told her something like she’s a spoiled rich
bitch you were only fucking because you were bored and you felt sorry for her since
she’s ugly, fat, uncoordinated, not to mention she’s a failure in the sack, and you’d
rather slit your own throat than spend another second with her.”
His jaw dropped.
“Those kinds of words can’t be taken back. But I doubt you said those to her, even
under the influence, because you love her. And she loves you.”
He let that statement lie. Amery didn’t need to know Shiori hadn’t told him that she
loved him yet.
“The last big fight that Ronin and I had before we were married, I stormed out because
he was acting like a selfish dick. Ronin’s the man who swore he’d never chase after
me, but he did. A few hours later he was at my door, apologizing, telling me right
and wrong could be sorted out as long as we did it together. That’s stuck with me.
Sometimes it’s not the words that carry the most weight but the action behind those
words.”
The image of Shiori dropping to her knees and kissing his feet in the club jumped
into the forefront of his mind. She’d tracked him down and had shown humility in her
apology. He needed to do the same.
But he’d up the stakes—because everything that mattered hung in the balance.
“I see the wheels turning,” Amery said, snagging his attention back to the present.
“They are. I just need to figure a few things out before I go.”
“Go where?”
“To Tokyo.”
Amery grinned. “I was hoping you’d say that.” She plopped her purse on her desk and
rummaged around until she found what she needed. Then she handed it over to him.
Knox looked at the keycard. “What’s this?”
“A key to Shiori’s apartment in Tokyo. She asked me to check on her place while I
was there. Lucky for you, with all that’s happened since we got back, I haven’t had
a chance to return it.”
“Very lucky for me.” Symbols written in black Sharpie ran vertically down the back
of the plastic card. “What’s this stuff on the back?”
“The code to the elevator is in kanji. I had to write it down exactly so I didn’t
screw it up.”
“Handy.”
“Very. Do you have her address and apartment number?”
“No. If you’d give me that as well as her mother’s phone number, I’d appreciate it.”
“Good plan, letting Tammy know.” Amery’s eyes searched his. “Or are you worried she’ll
blow the surprise?”
Knox took a moment to breathe slowly and deeply. “This isn’t a romantic surprise,
Amery. This is me fighting for my chance to have a life with her. This is me proving
to her she’ll never find another man who gives her what she needs like I do.”
Amery turned teary-eyed. “Good luck. I’ll take care of things with Ronin.”
“Thanks.”
He walked out of Amery’s office with a million things on his mind. So he wasn’t paying
attention until a solid wall stepped in front of him. He looked into Deacon’s icy
eyes. “What’re you doing here?”
“I called him,” Molly said. “You looked like you needed a friend.”
Knox wasn’t sure if the tension vibrating off Deacon was directed at Molly or at him.
Deacon moved the toothpick in his mouth from one side to the other. “What do you need?”
Just like that. No questions asked. “A ticket to Tokyo and a ‘sorry I’m a fuckhead’
gift.”
“You got enough cash for both of those? If not, I could float you a loan.”
Again his friend’s generosity touched him. He glanced over Deacon’s shoulder to see
Molly watching them. He lowered his voice. “I think I can swing it. But thanks. It
means a lot—”
“Don’t mention it.” Deacon held up his hand. “Seriously. Don’t.”
“Fine. Follow me to my place so I can get cleaned up and packed. Then on the way to
Cherry Creek I’ll fill you in on what went down.”
“I’m never gonna get away from this touchy-feely friendship stuff with you, am I?”
“Probably not.”
After a beat or two, he shrugged. “Fine. I’ll listen until my ears bleed. But if you
start crying, I’m punching you.”
MORNING
sickness sucked ass.
Shiori had spent a good amount of time on the plane ride to Tokyo with a barf bag
in her hand.
After her mom had met her at the airport, she’d whisked Shiori off to her childhood
home, tucked her in bed, and let her sleep for twelve blissfully dark, quiet, vomit-free
hours.
She’d lost track of time in the mad dash to get here. How long had it been since she’d
left Denver? A day and a half? Two days? It’d all blended together.
A shower and a change of clothes made her feel human. But the first whiff of tea had
sent her scurrying back to the toilet to rid her stomach of the glass of water she’d
managed to drink.
She brushed her teeth—for the third time—and detoured to the living room, stretching
out on the long leather couch that’d been in their house since her childhood. It was
one of the few things that’d belonged to her father, which was probably why her mother
had kept it.
Her mother appeared carrying a glass. “Ginger ale might help. I’ll set it over here.”
“Thanks, Mom. You’ve gone above and beyond.”
“Does it make me pathetic that I’m happy you need me for something?”
She fought another round of tears. “No. It makes me a crappy daughter that I’ve stayed
so far out of touch you believed I didn’t need you.”
“It’s been a strange situation the last year. Something caused you to reevaluate everything
you’d worked so hard to achieve.”
“Spending your birthday alone for the third year in a row will do it.”
“That’s what chased you away?”
“Partially. And that my personal life had become as cut-and-dried as my work relationships.”
It’d occurred to her that negotiating for time with a submissive at the sex club had
become as routine as nailing down the terms for her business contracts.
Knox had changed that. He’d changed everything. He’d shown her that he could handle
all sides of her—his respect and devotion meant more to her than anything in the world.
So his drunken ramblings had caught her off guard. And rather than dealing with it . . .
she’d left.
Real mature, Mistress
.
Shiori’s mom lovingly rubbed her forearm. “I knew you were struggling. After I stepped
up at Okada officially—”
“You went from being my mom to being my boss,” Shiori finished. “It scared me. You’re
the one person in our family I had a great relationship with, and I didn’t want to
lose that.”
“So you backed off completely. Believe it or not, I understand.” She sighed. “We’re
not so good at talking out personal issues like we are business issues, are we?”
“No. Finessing personal relationships is considered emotional manipulation. After
dealing with Ojisan’s manipulation on both levels . . . I worried you’d become just
like him.”
“I can’t deny that in some respects I am my father’s daughter.
Which is why I’m glad you took a break.” Her mother leaned closer to hold Shiori’s
face in her hands. “This is what I wanted for you.”
“Being pregnant and petrified about it at age thirty-five?”
She smiled. “No. I wanted you to experience life outside of the crushing job responsibilities
you’d taken on at Okada. We both know if I would’ve told you to take some time off,
you would’ve dug your heels in and worked even harder.”
“Have I always been that difficult and contrary?”
“Yes. But you come by that honestly.” Her mother dropped her hands but stayed in Shiori’s
personal space so she couldn’t back away.
“If you wanted me to see what my life would be without Okada, then why did you send
me to Mexico and Canada as Okada’s spokesperson?”
She shrugged. “Those were family owned companies we wanted to acquire. Having Nureki
Okada’s granddaughter start the negotiations sent a message that we embraced the family-business
philosophy.”
“So I was a pawn?”
“No. You were more of a rook.”
Great.
“Your presence also put our upper-level employees on notice that you were still crucial
to the company. You always intended to return to Okada. Whether that meant you’d reclaim
the position you left? I don’t think you have that figured out. But I do know if you’d
truly walked away, when I asked you to negotiate on Okada’s behalf, you would’ve told
me no.”
Shiori’s face heated. “That’s what I mean. I couldn’t say no to you. I was supposed
to be figuring out my personal life, and instead I’m micromanaging my accounts from
thousands of miles away because I don’t believe anyone could ever do my job as well
as I do.” Her eyes smarted with tears. “This sabbatical to the States proved nothing.
It changed nothing.”
Her mom clasped Shiori’s hands. “Wrong. It changed you. It’s shown you that you’re
entitled to a life. Even in the midst of your nasty divorce, you carried on at work
like you were invincible.”
“How else was I supposed to act? Broken?” She closed her eyes. “You know how corporate
life is. Don’t show weakness. Don’t show emotion. Be the first worker in and the last
one to leave—even if you’re the CEO’s granddaughter, maybe
especially
if you’re that. Take the minimum amount of personal time. Focus, focus, focus. Being
a good employee is all that matters. If you show how hard you can work, you’ll move
up the ladder and get bogged down with even more work. But hey, you can almost see
the Tokyo skyline from your corner office if you look over the mountain of paperwork
on your desk.
“So I ran away. Had my fun. Lived in the States and worked for my brother. Made some
friends. Fell in love.” Needing to backtrack, she said, “I finally had some free time
to pursue my love of art and learned that I don’t have untapped talent as a painter.”
Her mom laughed. “Same thing happened to me after you went off to school. I had it
in my head I could create fancy tea cakes. Even when I devoted a fair amount of time
to it . . . I didn’t improve. And because I didn’t improve, I didn’t enjoy it.” Her
eyes searched Shiori’s. “Did you enjoy the process of painting even if you didn’t
love the end product?”
“Sometimes.”
“Then it wasn’t wasted time.” She smoothed Shiori’s hair from her forehead. “None
of your time away was squandered.”
“So what happens now?”
“With your future with Okada? I’d love to dangle a huge promotion in front of you
to keep you and my impending grandbaby close by.” She smiled through her tears. “It
really destroys my plans to spoil that child when you’re in love with the baby’s father
and I doubt he’ll be down with his child—and you—living in Japan.”
Shiori managed a small smile. “Knox grew up in a single-parent
home. He’ll never agree to a periphery role in his child’s life, and I’d never ask
him to. I don’t want him to have a secondary role in my life either.”
“Then tell him, Shiori-san. While I’m glad you came to me, now you need to go to him
and figure this out.”
“I know.”
“Has he called you?”
“Like twenty times.”
“Call him back.” Her mom clasped her hands and pulled her upright. “As much as I love
having you here, I do have a social engagement tonight that I cannot break. Tell you
what. Go to your apartment, change your clothes, figure out what you’re going to say
to him. Then look around and see if you can envision yourself living in that space
with a baby.”
Shiori envisioned herself living in Knox’s house with him and their baby.
Soft lips brushed her forehead. “Have the life you were meant to. If that life means
I’ll be making a lot of trips to the States to see my grandchild, so be it.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“It’s what I’m here for.” She stood. “I’ll call for a car. I don’t think you’re feeling
well enough to take the bus.”
* * *
SHIORI
arrived at the Okada building an hour later, feeling somewhat better. She’d needed
the comfort of her mom, the comfort of home more than she realized.
She didn’t recognize the security guard on the main level. Since this was a public
building, security procedures were minimal until the fortieth floor, which was where
private residences started. In the elevator she swiped her keycard and punched in
a code.
Nothing had changed in the small waiting area on her floor, and she cut down the left
hallway.
Home sweet home.
Shiori unlocked the door, dropped her duffel bag on the floor, and tossed her keycard
on the catchall table like she always did. That’s when she noticed her spare keycard
was already there. Strange. Had Amery left it?
Awareness of something being not quite right set the hair on the back of her neck
on end. She quietly removed her shoes and listened.
Nothing.
But wait. She closed her eyes and inhaled. The scent that hit her nearly buckled her
knees. Warm skin with a hint of male musk and laundry soap.
Knox.
Don’t be silly. He’s not here. It’s just wishful thinking.
As Shiori turned the corner from the foyer into the living room and stopped, a loud
gasp escaped her lips.
Knox
was
here. Shirtless, stripped down to his boxers, on his knees, head bowed, facing away
from her.
Holy fuck.
Knox.
Was.
Here.
On. His. Knees.
Waiting. For. Her.
Immediately she closed the distance between them. She fell to her knees behind him,
stretching herself over his back, pressing her face between his shoulder blades. The
familiar scent of him filled her lungs, quickened her heartbeat, and soothed her soul.
“Tell me I’m not dreaming.”
“You’re not dreaming, Mistress.”
Shiori held on to him for the longest time, letting her tears fall freely onto his
back.
She gathered herself as she placed kisses up his spine to the nape of his neck. She
moved to stand in front of him. “Look at me, please.”
Knox lifted his head. Those blue eyes held such resolve.
“Why are you here?”
“Because I love you. It’s been the worst three days of my life, not knowing what I’d
done or said to make you leave.”
She curled her hands around his face. “Say it again.”
“I love you.” He blew out a breath. “Have I fucked this up beyond repair, Nushi? That
would kill me.”
“Why?”
“It’s been my greatest joy to belong to you. To love you.”
Such simple, beautiful words.
“But if you don’t want me here, don’t want me as yours—”
She slammed her mouth down on his to shut him up. The kiss was electric from the start.
A reunion, her affirmation, his repentance.
Knox recognized all the things this kiss was. His hands clutched her hips, and he
gave himself over to her completely.
Shiori might’ve let the kiss go on forever until she got a crick in her neck and realized
Knox had to be uncomfortable too. Still, she broke the kiss slowly, easing off in
increments. Then her gaze hooked his. “You are mine. I love you, Knox. So much that
it scares me.”
“Say it again.”
“I love you.”
His eyes softened. “Don’t be scared. We belong together. You know this. I will fight
for you. Hell, I’ll even fight you to have you.”
The sound that exited her trembling lips was part laugh, part sob.
“You might outrank me, but I promise I won’t follow the rules. I won’t fight fair
when I’m fighting for the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“You have that wrong. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
The joy that lit his handsome face cued the waterworks again.
“Since I’m already on my knees, although I’d rather not do this half damn naked . . .”
Knox reached down and picked up a blue
velvet box. His gaze locked on to hers. “I love you. Whether I call you Shiori, or
She-Cat, or Mistress, or Nushi, or Shihan. You are all those to me, but there is one
thing I want to spend the rest of my life calling you. My wife.” He paused. “Will
you marry me?”
Shiori gasped. She placed her hand on his chest to center herself, and she could feel
his heart beating erratically. “Yes.”
He briefly closed his eyes and exhaled. “Thank you.”
“Did you really think I’d say no?”
“I wasn’t sure. I didn’t think you’d run off to Japan without telling me either, so
this whole trip was a shot in the dark.”
Silly man. She sniffled but let her tears fall without shame. “What’s in the box?”
“A promise that I’ll be everything you’ll ever need. I wanted you to feel how I do
every time I look at the bracelet you bestowed on me.”
“Put it on me.”
“Bossy.” Knox kissed the base of her hand before he draped the delicate chain over
her wrist. Then the two ends were attached to a heart-shaped lock. Once he snapped
it on . . .
“It locks?”
“Yes, ma’am. I have the key. I’ll always keep it safe.”
Did he know what that meant to her?
Yes, of course he did.
She looked from the Tiffany box to the platinum bracelet to the way his eyes shone.
“You one-upped me, didn’t you, Ob-Knox-ious?”
“Yep.” He grinned. “I’ll get you a traditional engagement ring, if you want me to
show my public claim on you, but this is a private commitment.”
Shiori trapped his face in her hands and kissed him. “I didn’t think I could love
you more than I already do, but I was wrong.” Another kiss. “Please get off your knees
and hold me.”
When he wrapped her in his arms, his skin held a chill.
“You’re freezing. How long have you been waiting for me?”
“Your mother called after you left her place, so probably about an hour.”
She tilted her head back and studied him. “She knew you were here?”
“I called her before I flew in. I needed to make sure you’d see me and Okada wouldn’t
toss me out on my ass for showing up at your apartment even when Amery gave me a key.”
“Did my mom say anything to you?”
Knox’s gaze narrowed. “Besides she was happy I’d chased after you? No. Why?”
“I have something to tell you. But let’s get you warmed up first.” She took his hand,
intending to take him to her bed and crawl under the covers with him.