University Park Series Box Set: Books 1-3 (3 page)

Raven was having phone sex. Right there
in front of me, in the writing center of all places.

Visions flashed through my mind and my
face burned. I covered my ears, trying to block out his words, but it didn’t
help. My heart raced and my breath quickened. I shifted in my chair, crossing
my legs tightly until my feet went numb.

“Yeah, baby, right there.” He winked at
me.

I gasped. “I’ll be right back.” I rushed
out of the room and headed straight for the bathroom.

Closing the door to the lounge located
next to the stalls, I paced the small room as I fanned myself. Being a virgin,
I had never come close to experiencing anything so dirty yet sensual at the
same time. And, the worst part, it wasn’t even directed at me! The guy was
blessed with sexual creativity. Why the heck didn’t he gear some of that
imagination toward his schoolwork?

Sure, I had read those types of sex
scenes in romance books, but it was entirely different hearing them firsthand.
Well, secondhand in that case. Nonetheless, I had just become hyperaware of
tingles and sensations caused by an actual human being.

A guy that was sitting next me, not even
touching me.

And the saddest part of it all? That guy
wasn’t Collin.

I sighed as I collapsed onto the cushioned
bench. The situation wasn’t good and every warning light was flashing.

Reason number three: don’t lust over
something that isn’t yours.

Σ

I crashed on my bed, drained from the
tutoring session with Raven. The guy was the epitome of a bad boy filled with
lust, temptation, and sin that women dreamed of experiencing.

Including me.

He had opened my eyes and I knew exactly
what I was missing in my relationship with Collin.

Passion.

Intimacy.

Not to mention, sex.

I had to stop pretending that everything
was all right between us because it wasn’t. If we were in love, we sure didn’t
act like it. Something was wrong with this picture, but I wasn’t giving up yet.
I really did care for Collin. He was a wonderful guy that respected me, honored
me, and would never do me wrong. I had to demonstrate the emotions flowing
within me in hopes that he would respond willingly to my plea for his
affection. I owed this to myself — to us.

Burying my head in my pillow, I prayed
for strength.

“Lexi, wake up.” A nudge woke me from a
deep sleep.

“W-what?” I pulled the covers over my
head. “Leave me alone.”

“You promised to go to the gym with me,”
Delaney pleaded, yanking the blankets off me. A chill spread over my body and I
reached for the fleece. “C’mon, Lex.”

When she shortened my name, I knew she
was serious. Giving in, I rolled out of bed. “Okay. I’m up.”

As I changed my clothes, I watched
Delaney carefully. She looked way too excited to go sweat and torture herself
with weights and medicine balls. Although I didn’t care if she and my brother
hooked up, I wanted to know the truth. If I asked my brother, I doubt he’d tell
me anything. Even though we were close growing up, we had distanced ourselves since
being in college. He never shared his thoughts or feelings about girls, and vice
versa. He kept it all to himself and I couldn’t help but wonder if it was due
to our parent’s strict upbringing or if he was just as inexperienced as I was.
Regardless, I’d make one of them spill it.

Delaney reached for the doorknob and I
stuck out my hand, stopping her from opening it. “Before we go, I need to ask
you something.”

“What?” Her eyes bulged and her chest
rose rapidly. “What is it?”

“What’s up between you and Luke?”

“Your brother?”

I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes
at her. “Yes, my brother.”

“N-nothing. Why?” She pulled the rubber
band out of her long, dark hair and moved toward the mirror to redo her
ponytail. Her hands worked quickly and she fidgeted, becoming more frustrated
with her strands of tangled hair.

“Don’t lie to me, Laney.”

She flung around, knowing that when I
used her nickname, I meant business, too.

“Why do you think something’s up between
us?” She approached me head-on and I noticed that she had on too much makeup
for working out. Her lips were a perfect shiny nude and her cheeks had a
shimmering rose tint, not to mention the thick layer of eyeliner coupled with
lashes maxed out in mascara.

“Because of the way you two have been
acting around each other.”

“And how’s that? We’re not acting
differently.”

 “Seriously?” I laughed. Delaney
couldn’t hold a poker face to save her life. Then again, neither could I.
That’s why I knew I could trust her. She was a genuine, no nonsense kind of
girl. An only child brought up on a farm with goats and chickens by her adopted
parents, she was the wild, country girl that had basically seen and done
everything before arriving at college. Despite her cute Texas twang, she warned
me that she wasn’t innocent and knew how to party with the big boys.

“You two have been talking a lot when
I’m not around.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, adjusting her
workout-top that made her boobs pop out. “I won’t talk to him again if it
bothers you that much.”

“I didn’t say that.” Relaxing my
shoulders, I placed my hand on her arm. “If you want to date him, I’m okay with
that; I’d just like to know.”

She let out a deep breath. “Well, we’re
not dating, so you don’t have anything to worry about.” Giving a quick glance
to her phone, she said, “Let’s go. I want to try out this new class called
Yogalates. You should try it with me.”

“No thanks. I’m going to work out with
Collin.”

“Oh.” She winked as we headed to the rec
center.

If I could only be so lucky.

We entered the gym and spotted Collin
and Luke at the free weights along with several other guys testing their
manhood as they grunted and moaned while pressing the weights. I had to admit,
the scene was divine, but I zeroed in on my guy. A thin sheen of sweat covered
his face and arms and I couldn’t help but imagine how he would look naked,
hovering over my body after a round of hot sex.

Oh my God! Why is that the first thing
that pops into my head?

No matter how hard I tried to keep my
mind from going there, I couldn’t deny what I wanted and needed from him. My
body was crying out for his attention.

“I’ll meet you in an hour,” Delaney
informed me as she went in the opposite direction.

“Okay, see you later.”

I approached Collin from behind and
turned on my sexy voice. “Are you working out hard?”

He flinched and nearly dropped the
weight. “Lexi,” he said with an exacerbated breath, “I didn’t hear you behind
me.”

 “Sorry.” I fingered his sandy blond hair,
eager to dive my hands through his thick layers. He tilted his head away from
my hand and I got the message. He didn’t want me to touch him. But I wasn’t
giving up.

“Don’t ever do that.” He wiped his face
with his hand towel. “I could have hurt myself or worse, hurt you.”

“Whatever.” I waved off his exaggerated
remark, although it hurt because I wanted him to respond willingly to my
teasing. “I thought you could work me out. You know, show me your routine.” I
leaned against the arm curl bench, trying to entice him.

“You want me to show you how to work
out?” He shifted the dumbbell to his other hand, his eyes darting back and
forth between me and the mirror in front of him.

“Yes, please.” I bit down on my lower
lip, trying to pull off an erotic look.

“Why don’t you ask your brother? He’s
the trainer.”

“If you want, I can show you a few
things,” Luke puffed before pressing a bar up in the air.

Luke was majoring in Exercise Sport
Science and worked part-time at the rec center. If he didn’t land a contract
with a professional baseball team, his backup plan was to be a trainer. We both
knew he was only playing to appease my parents.  In reality, he would be the
best one to train me, but I didn’t want that.

“I was hoping to spend some time with
you.” I dragged two fingers along the curves of muscles in his forearm, leaving
behind a trail of bumps.

Collin dropped the weight with a loud
thud. “Um… we can start with the machines.” He got up from the bench, adjusting
his shorts, and then picked up the dumbbell.

Yes!

“Hey, Sis, did you come by yourself?”
Luke took a few deep breaths as he moved his head from side to side, popping
his bones.

“Stop. I hate when you do that.” I
shuddered, trying to displace the visual. I don’t know why the sound gave me
the hebegeebees, but it did. “No, I came with Delaney.”

“Oh, you did?” He looked around,
expressing a little too much interest in locating her.

“Yeah, she’s in some yoga class.”

“Okay. I’ll find her later.” He sat down
on a bench and resumed his workout.

I eyed him for a moment, debating if I
should ask him what was going on between them, but I was too anxious to work
out with Collin.

“I’m going to show her a few things and
then I’ll be back,” Collin informed Luke while nodding at me to follow him.

“Later,” Luke responded.

I latched on to his arm as he led the
way to a row of machine weights. He leaned over and I watched him closely as he
adjusted the weight and sat down. “So, what you are going to do is bring your
arms together in a slow, controlled movement. Like this,” he said, demonstrating
the movement. I watched the muscles swell from under his shirt. With each
squeeze, they tensed and it teased me. I told myself to take things slow, but my
body was humming with desire. I was dying to touch him, feel him, run my hands
all over his body.

Something I had never done before.

Something I wanted to do.

“Then, release it back into position
slowly.” He smiled at me with soft, pillowy lips.

“Okay,” I responded, though I wasn’t
paying much attention. My head spun as a beckoning call simmered inside of me,
urging me to take action. Grabbing his face between my hands, I pressed my lips
to his. I thrust my tongue into his mouth, eager to taste him, and released all
of the endorphins that had built up over time.

In one swift movement, he pushed me
away. “Lexi, what are you doing?” He wiped his lips with the back of his hand,
removing my taste from him, as though he didn’t want any trace of me on him.

My heart sank.

Why didn’t he want me?

“Sorry, I just… I couldn’t resist you.”
I bit back the tears, refusing to cry. Maybe that was what I needed to do. Cry
and beg him to take me. Prove that we weren’t making the wrong decision.

Was it a crime for our tongues to cross?
Did he not find me attractive?

I noticed the other girls in the gym. My
lanky body couldn’t compete with their curvy legs and perfect bubble butts.
Dressed in their skin-tight yoga pants and push-up exercise bras, I looked like
a homeless person in baggy sweats and a worn out PHU T-shirt. No wonder he
didn’t want me. I was nothing compared to these girls. Instead of crying and
begging for his forgiveness, I let the wrong emotion take over.

Anger.

“You need to control yourself. We are in
public.” He looked around, ensuring no one was paying attention to us.

“Let them watch,” I said boldly, testing
my limits. “You’re my fiancé. If I want to kiss you, I will.” I had been
patient, respecting his wishes of waiting to have sex until marriage. The least
he could do was express how he felt about me, show me how much he loved me.

I needed him to caress me.

Kiss me.

Tease me.

Hell, at least flirt with me.

Do something aside from being kind and
respectful. I was tired of waiting for him to take the reins. Unfortunately, my
decision to take control failed. I had been deprived my entire life. I had been
a good girl for way too long, always doing what my parents asked of me.

Perfect, respectful, honorable Lexi.

I may have landed a damn hot guy, but
what did it matter if he resisted showing me his love?

He ran a hand down his face. “We need to
be more respectful—”

“It was just a kiss,” I interrupted, crossing
my arms and balling my hands tightly underneath me. I felt the need to defend
my actions. To my fiancé. The man I was supposed to marry. The man who was
supposed to be my happily ever after.

He tilted his head to the side. His
boyish charm made it difficult to stay mad, but I held my ground.

“You were sticking your tongue down my
throat.”

“And?” I bit back the string of
expletive words dying to come out of my mouth.

“That’s not being discrete and it sure
isn’t honoring you.”

“Oh, to hell with my honor! I want you
to just—”

“Lexi, what’s wrong with you?” He stood
up and crossed his arms, as if ready to challenge me. “You’re acting crazy.”

“No, I’m not.” I stomped my foot.

“Yes, you are,” he sneered.

I knew I was acting childish and Collin
pointing it out only made it worse. “Forget it.” I threw my hands up in the
air. “You’re so damn reserved at times… it drives me crazy.” I spun on my heels
and headed for the door.

“Lexi, wait,” he called, but I picked up
the pace until I was running. Even though I knew that was the wrong thing to
do, I didn’t know how to handle the rejection. I was such a failure. Love
really sucked. I thought I could entice Collin. Instead, I only pushed him
away.

Hot tears streamed down my face as I ran
to Charter Hall. I resisted the urge to turn around to see if Collin was
following me, but I had a feeling I was alone. As I ran up the steps, I wiped
away the evidence of my pain. After all, I was being stupid. Collin did love
me. When it came to expressing his feelings, he just didn’t know how. He was so
hung up on honoring me that he failed to realize how much I needed his
affection.

He had to care about me, right?

 Otherwise, why had he asked me to marry
him? Confusion clouded my brain and there was only one thing I knew would help.

I passed through the foyer of my
dormitory and entered the lounge area. Easing onto the padded bench, I placed
my hands on the ivory keys of the large grand piano. I had been playing since I
was a child and used it to de-stress on a regular basis. The beautiful sound
always relaxed me and I found myself playing for hours at a time. My fingers
strummed across the bars, choosing to play,
Say Something,
a song
Delaney had begged me to learn. I had told her it was the most depressing song
ever, but it fit my situation perfectly. Recalling the words, I whispered them
under my breath.