University Park Series Box Set: Books 1-3 (14 page)

Delaney whimpered, “It’s not them I’m
worried about.”

“My parents are here,” I reminded her.
“I’m sure Luke will be on his best behavior… or should be.”

“I hope so,” Delaney sighed when she saw
Luke walk through the door.

“Woot! Woot! Go, Collin! Go, Collin!”
The purple team cheered when Collin stepped into the restaurant. Forbes trailed
behind them, shouting along the way, “MVP. MVP.” He pointed to Collin and I
couldn’t help but smile.

Collin had pitched a near perfect game,
sweeping the white team twelve to one. He never ceased to amaze me with his
precision and gift for playing baseball. Every year he seemed to get better and
better. Even though I hated that he put baseball before me, I was a little sad
knowing that I would no longer be there to cheer him along. Despite my decision
not to marry him, I hoped we could remain friends. I’d watched him play since
we were thirteen years old and we’d practically grown up together. He really
was a great guy, just not the right one for me.

“Congratulations.” I stood and gave him
a hug.

“Thanks! Oh, watch the arm.” He jerked
away and resituated an icepack he had strapped to his shoulder.

I released my arms and was glad that his
reaction to my touch didn’t offend my heart. Maybe God had answered my prayers
after all. “Sorry, I should have hugged you from the other side.”

“You played so well!” Collin’s mom,
Suzanne, stepped in front of me and I took a step back, giving her room.

“Great job, Son.” Pastor Clifton shook
Collin’s hand. I took a seat in the booth, allowing them to have their family
moment because it was obvious I really didn’t belong. Collin’s little brother,
Shane, high-fived him and I smiled, knowing that he’d be a great ballplayer one
day, too.

My mom and dad hugged Luke, telling him
he did a good job, even though his team lost. He shrugged off their compliment
and I sensed he was disappointed in the way he played. The guys slid into the
booth and I was surprised that Delaney stayed seated next to me instead of
trying to sit next to Luke. I appreciated that was she was adhering to her
promise of staying by my side to support me. They eyed each other as though
transferring their secret love language to one another.

“You played well, Luke,” I said,
disrupting their soulful gaze.

“No.” He shook his head. “I really
didn’t. That’s why we lost.”

“No, it’s not.” Forbes grabbed a plate
and handed it to Jordan.

“Thank you, pumpkin,” Jordan replied.
She served herself a slice of pizza and then handed Forbes the pie cutter.

“I screwed up too, missing several fly
balls.” Forbes stacked a few pieces on his plate and then licked his fingers.

Luke took the pie cutter from Forbes and
cut a large slice. “I guess the white team didn’t have their shit together
tonight. Wait until Friday night.” Luke pointed to Collin with the spatula.
“We’re going to kick y’all’s asses.”

“Yeah, right.” Collin laughed. “We’ll
see about that.”

The guys ranted about who would win and
I drifted off, thinking of how I wanted to start the conversation with Collin
once we were alone. No matter how many times I had rehearsed it, it changed
every time. The more I thought about it, the more nervous I got. Minutes prior,
I had felt confident and reassured with my decision. I wasn’t sure what had
caused my shift, but I was becoming a nervous wreck. I picked at my pizza and
sipped on my soda, but nothing could unwind the ball of nerves wrapped tightly
around my stomach. I watched the clock on the wall and with each passing minute,
I convinced myself I could do it.

“You all right, Lexi?” Jordan asked,
breaking my daze.

“Huh?” I eased the straw from my mouth.

“You haven’t eaten one bite of your
pizza.” She pointed to my plate.

“Oh, um… I’m not feeling—”

“Hey kids, we’re leaving. It’s almost eleven
and your dad has to get up early.” Mom squeezed Luke in a hug and kissed him on
the cheek. I elbowed Delaney, delighted that my parents would soon have someone
else to hound instead of me.

“It’s not me that you need to worry
about,” I whispered, feeling a little relief flow over me.

She sipped on her empty glass, slurping
through the straw until nothing was left. I assumed the stories of my parents
overbearing and controlling nature set off an alert in her head.

“Okay, thanks for coming to support me.”
Luke pried himself from Mom’s arms and then shook Dad’s hand.

“Bye.” I waved, glad that I was
sandwiched in between Collin and Delaney. Even though another hug from Dad
would have been nice and might have calmed my frazzled nerves, I sacrificed
just to stay away from my mom.

Collin shook my parents’ hands. “Mr.
Thompson, Mrs. Thompson.”

“Call me, Mom, it won’t be long now.”
Mom placed her hand on top of Collin’s and smiled from ear to ear.

A whimper escaped my throat and everyone
turned and looked at me.

Oh, shit.

“Is everything okay?” Collin asked.

I swallowed hard as the words failed me.
I knew what I had to do, but it wasn’t the right time. We needed to be alone.

“Lexi?”

Delaney gave me a slight nudge and I
blurted, “No.”

He withdrew his hand and looked at me.
“What’s wrong?”

I stared at him for a few seconds,
telling myself I had to do it. I had to tell him. I couldn’t put off the
conversation one more day. A cold sweat broke from my skin and the palpitations
coming from the center of my chest told me I had to be having a heart attack. I
looked around, wondering if there was a defibrillator hanging on the wall
somewhere because I knew I was going to need it. “We have to talk.”

“Okay.” Collin gave a soft shake of his
head.

“Sweetie, it’s kind of late. Why don’t
we drop you off at your dorm and you can talk to Collin tomorrow,” Mom spoke
up. “Delaney, would you like a ride back?”

“Um…” Delaney leaned against me, pushing
me to get out of the booth.

For a moment, I wasn’t sure what she
wanted me to do, but I refused to let my mom get in the way of my plans.

“No, Mom, we don’t need a ride back.” I
pushed on Collin until he slid out of the booth. “We need to talk now,” I said
in a calm and deliberate tone.

“Is something wrong?” Pastor Clifton and
Suzanne walked up behind my parents. They looked at me and then at Collin. Did
everyone have to get in our business?

“Lexi said she needs to talk to Collin,
but since it’s late, we’re taking her to the dorm,” Dad informed them, looking
me straight in the eye.

“Okay.” Pastor Clifton turned to his
son. “We can drop you off if you like.”

“No!” I grabbed Collin by the hand and
pushed past our parents. They wouldn’t stop me from doing what I had to do.

Not tonight.

Not ever.

“Collin, we have to talk now.”

“Lexi, stop.” Collin pulled on my hand
and I stumbled back. “Your dad is right. It’s late and we can talk tomorrow.”

 “No, this can’t wait.” I shook my head.
I knew that if I didn’t tell him, I might not ever have the courage to tell
him. I’d live in regret for the rest of my life.

With an incredulous stare, Collin said,
“What is wrong with you? You’re acting crazy again.”

I ran my fingers through my hair,
gathering clumps of it in my fist. Maybe I was going crazy. Maybe I needed to
be committed or see a therapist. All I knew was that the longer I kept myself
within this controlling circle, I would truly go insane. “This wedding is
driving me crazy. Your parents are driving me crazy and so are mine.” My eyes
darted to his parents and then to my family.

Mom covered her mouth as she gasped.
Dad’s eyes bulged to the point the whites took over and his light skin turned a
blistering red.

“Excuse me?” Pastor Clifton cocked his
head to the side and Suzanne blinked rapidly as she drew a hand to her chest.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.” I
released my hair and crossed my arms over my body, supporting myself the best
way I knew how.

“Do what?” Collin’s brows knitted
together.

With a steady, low voice, I replied,
“Marry you.” As I released the air in my lungs, the blocks of pressure exploded,
vanishing as they crumbled one by one, in a fast, sweeping action.

I had done it.

And it felt so damn good.

My hands shook, but I managed to pull my
engagement ring off my finger. Without looking at it, I reached for Collin’s
hand and placed it in the center of his palm.

Collin stared at the band for a few
seconds and then looked up at me. The muscles in his arms became rigid and his
brows narrowed as his forehead creased. What was he thinking? I had to know. I
searched his face, waiting to see if he would give me a sign. The center and
outer layers of his eyes clouded over and all traces of emotions vanished. Once
again, Collin remained unaffected by what I had just told him.

His lips parted and a flash of hope struck
me. I kept my eyes steady on his, waiting anxiously for him to speak, but he
kept silent. Why did he continue to hold back from me? After all these years,
why wouldn’t he let me in? Was it that damn hard to tell me how he felt?

I couldn’t understand why he was so
afraid to share his feelings with me. Even though part of me was glad the
wedding was off, another part wanted him to take me in his arms and show me the
love he’d been repressing all these years. I waited for him to say something,
anything. But he said nothing.

Nothing at all.

I pressed my trembling lips together as
tears poured down my face. I continued waiting, hoping it was just shock that
stole his words. After several long minutes, I was convinced that he had
nothing to say. I didn’t know if it was from lack of caring or relief, but my
guess was that he didn’t want to get married either. He just didn’t know how to
tell me.

“We’re not in love, Collin.” I wiped the
tears from my face. “We’re nothing but friends. I can’t marry someone who’s
afraid to tell me and, more than that,
show me
they love me.”

He looked down at his hand one more time
before closing it and dropping it to his side. “Is this what you really want?”

I felt my heart split in two along with
my body as it internally crumbled to the floor. Delaney was right. It did hurt.
It hurt so damn bad because I had hoped that he would tell me I was wrong.

That he couldn’t live without me.

That he needed me.

That he loved me more than anything.

But he didn’t.

His response confirmed what we both
knew. We didn’t love each other enough to get married.

“Lexi, don’t do this,” Mom pleaded.

I sighed and with the energy I had left,
turned toward my parents. “I’m sick and tired of doing what you want. My entire
life I have followed every rule you set, adhered to your expectations, learned
to withhold myself and do without the things that I wanted most.” I took in a
deep breath. “Well, I’m done. I can’t live like this any longer. I don’t need
either of you to watch over me, including Luke or Collin. I’m a grown woman and
I will do whatever the hell I please.”

Mom gasped and Dad’s jaw tightened. They
looked at the Norris’s and quickly averted their stare back to me. I knew I had
embarrassed them, but I couldn’t take one more second, minute, hour, or day
under their restraints. I was tired of living to please them. I needed to live
for me.

I turned my gaze back to Collin. “So
that’s it? You have nothing else to say?”

His shoulders slumped and he grabbed on
to the edge of the booth. “What do you want me to say?”

The room spun and my body heaved
forward. Four years of giving my life to him and he had nothing to say. His
failure to respond answered every question I had. He didn’t love me enough to
marry me. Collin’s decision was clear. He didn’t want me in his life and he
sure didn’t want me to be his wife.

Σ

“Lex, get up. You’re not staying one
more day in this bed.” Delaney flipped on the light and yanked the sheets off
me. The brightness behind my lids made me squeeze my eyes tighter. For the past
month, I’d grown accustomed to the dark. That’s where I found comfort.

“Stop,” I moaned. “I’m sick and need to
sleep.”

“You’re not sick,” she huffed. “Maybe
sick in the head but that’s it. Now, get up…”

Grabbing a pillow, I covered my face and
ignored her rambling.

I had lied to everyone, including my
parents, telling them I had the flu so I wouldn’t have to go home for
Thanksgiving break. My dad’s brother and family were coming into town and they
agreed to let me stay at the dorm since it was open during the holidays. Mom
didn’t want me passing my sickness to everyone, even though that wouldn’t have
happened because I really didn’t have the flu. Lucky for me, I looked like a
zombie from
The Walking Dead
when she showed up with cans of soup and
juice, and she believed me.

 “Why are you here? Aren’t you supposed
to be at the farm?” I mumbled against the fabric.

“I came to check on you. And boy, I’m
glad I did.” She shuffled around my room, but I didn’t care to see what she was
doing.

“I’m fine, so you can go home.” It was a
lie because the break with Collin had left me feeling lifeless and cold. I soon
discovered my freedom was a lonely world. Part of me was glad to not be marrying
him, but I didn’t know how to mend my heart back together. I was convinced it
was beyond repair. I was fine if I never found love.

“No, you’re not!” She pulled the pillow
away from my face. “You look like death!” She sniffed the air. “And smell like
it, too.”

“Good, maybe I’m dying.” I rolled over
and pulled myself in to a fetal position.

“If you’re that miserable, why don’t you
go back to Collin?”

“Uh, no, that’s not an option.” I had
spent the last month convincing myself that I had done the right thing. I
avoided him at all costs, even to the point of taking an incomplete in my
Spanish class. My parents were of no help either and I did my best to stay away
from them. To my surprise, my dad supported me, but my mother lectured me
weekly and refused to let it go. Luckily, my brother told me it was between
Collin and me and he wanted no part of it. And, since my sister never bothered
to call me, she was one less person I had to worry about.

 “Then why are you so upset?”

 I reached for a bottle of soda on my
nightstand and took a drink. “Ugh, that’s flat.”

She grabbed the nearly empty bottle from
me. “How old is this?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “A few
days.”

“Gross.”

I turned away from her and fell against
my pillow.

“Well, get up and take a shower because
we’re going to the game.”

I stifled a laugh. “I don’t feel like
taking a shower and I’m sure as hell not going to the game.”

“It’s the last game of the year.” Her
voice lilted and I tried hard not to let that yearning deep inside of me get
excited.

“Good,” I mumbled.

Seeing Raven would not be smart. After
splitting up with Collin, I had called Dr. Phillips and told him I quit. I
blamed it on personal issues, which was true. He immediately asked if it had
anything to do with Raven, but I told him no, even though it partially did. For
one entire week, Raven had sent me text messages, begging to know why I
wouldn’t be tutoring him any longer. I ignored every one of his text and
refused to see him when he showed up at my dorm.

“You have to go.” Delaney opened my
closet door and started rummaging through my clothes.

“No, I don’t.” I threw a pillow at her.
“I told you I’m not going anywhere.”

Taking out a pair of my skinny jeans,
she said, “That’s a damn shame because Raven sent you tickets for the game.”

“Shut up.” I shot straight up in my bed.
“No he didn’t.” The familiar pounding in the center of my chest returned, only
this time it stuttered like a car on the brink of breaking down.

“Yes, he did.” She reached into her back
pocket and pulled out two tickets.

“Let me see those,” I demanded.

She handed me a shiny index-sized card with
a football player on the front. The stub indicated the seats were located on
the Championship Level. When I saw the sticker price, I knew she couldn’t have
bought them. They had to be from Raven. The rattling in my chest continued as
it tried to find the right rhythm.

“And wear this.” She threw my jeans and a
shirt at me.

I picked up the oversized, purple, silky
shirt, fumbling to catch a better glimpse of it. On the front was the number
six stitched in a white reptile-looking print. I flipped it over and ran my
hand across the lettering on the back that spelled ‘Davenport’. “Where did you
get this?”

She smiled and then flopped on to my
bed. “He gave it to me.”

“What? When?”

She rolled over on to her stomach and
propped herself up on her elbows. “About fifteen minutes ago.”

“He came here again?” I jumped out of
bed and held the jersey up to me. It was a little big and I knew it wasn’t one
he had worn, but it definitely had his number and name on the back. It also
smelled like him, replacing the funky smell in my room. “What did he say?”

“He said he wanted me to take you to the
game.”

“No he didn’t.” I eyed her, trying to
determine if she was lying to me or if this was one of her scams. For the past
few weeks, she continued to encourage me to get out and live my life. She had
invited me to go out with her and Jordan, but I continuously turned her down.
And every time she brought up Raven, I stopped her from going any further. This
wasn’t the first time she had tried to convince me to go see him.

 “I swear.” She held up her hands in
surrender. “He said to make sure you wore his jersey so he could find you.”

My blood quickened through my veins, but
my fractured heart quickly reminded me that Raven also had an agenda. He wanted
to have more fun with me, whatever that meant. I shook my head, refusing to
listen to the voice telling me to go. It was too soon to hang out with him. My
heart needed more time to heal.

 “Whatever.” I tossed the jersey at her
and she caught it mid-air.

“Damn, what’s it going to take for you
to believe me?”

“Okay. I believe you.” I opened my
dresser and took out a clean bra and panties. “Do I need to remind you that you
told me not to get involved with him?”

“No I didn’t.” She threw the jersey back
at me and I lunged forward to catch it. “I said to be careful. Besides, the
poor guy really thinks he did something wrong. You at least need to talk to
him.”

“What do you mean he thinks he did something
wrong? What exactly did he say?” I asked, wary.

“Umm… well, I kind of told him what
happened between you and Collin and that—”

“You did what?” The muscles in my hands
tensed and I balled them into fists.

“I’m sorry.” Delaney pressed her hands
together, pleading for forgiveness. “I felt sorry for him. He thought what
happened at the stadium suite, which wasn’t much, made you mad.” I had confided
in Delaney about the heated situation at the football stadium a few days after
I called off the marriage. I had confessed to her that I had never told him I
was engaged because it never came up. I also hadn’t offered to tell him.

“Oh.” Covering my face with my clean
clothes, I moaned. “I can’t believe you told him.” There really wasn’t a reason
he needed to know about Collin. I had no plans of starting up something with
him. Everything I felt for Raven was just hyped up because of what I wanted and
longed for from Collin, at least that’s what I had told myself for the past
month. It didn’t help the fact that I was silently dying to see him.

“He would have found out eventually.”

I lowered my hands. “How?”

“Things get around.” She waved her hand
in the air.

“Maybe about you, but not about me.”

“Ouch!” Delaney pretended to stab
herself in the chest with her fist.

“Sorry.” I let the anger go because what
was done, was done.

“Anyhow, he invited us to a party
tonight.” Holding up her phone, she showed me her Facebook page.

I grabbed the phone from her and stared
at the invite. “You’re friends with Raven?” My mouth fell open. “Hell, I’m not
even friends with him.” A spiral of jealously hit me. Why was she trying to be
friends with him? She needed to worry about Luke, not about Raven.

“I’m friends with a lot of guys. Even
those I don’t sleep with, so get over it. And don’t worry; I don’t want to
sleep with Raven. I actually prefer your brother.” She smiled and her face
glowed.

“If you say so.” I watched for a moment
and the glint in her eyes told me she was sincere.

Slowly, she eased the phone from my
hands. “Besides, how often are you on Facebook?”

“Umm… I don’t know…”

“Exactly. Never.” Placing my jeans in my
arms, she got up from the bed and shuffled me to the bathroom. “Get dressed, the
clock is ticking.”

“No.” I shook my head, still fighting
the inevitable.

“Oh, come on, you know you want to go.”
She turned on the shower and backed out of the bathroom, closing the door
behind her.

 I placed my clothes on the counter and
wiped the steam from the mirror. I didn’t like who I had become. I hadn’t done
any of the things I had told my parents and Collin. Why wasn’t I living my
life? There was no one to stop me or tell me I couldn’t do any of it. I was
free to do what I wanted. Yet, I had done nothing. A smile crept up over my
face and I quickly pulled off the clothes I had been wearing for the past week.
It was time to start living my life for me.

***

“Holy crap, Delaney! These have to be
the best seats in the house.” I stared in awe, taking in the field that was
only a few feet in front of us on the fifty-yard line. The bright green grass
contrasted against the canvas of purple and white that spread from top to bottom
in the stadium, drowning the opposing team’s colors of gold and green. Dance
music blared over the speakers as the coaches, referees, and other personnel
rushed along the sideline, preparing for the game to start.

“Do you think he owns these seats?” Delaney
waved to a group of people behind us that I didn’t know. “Hey! What’s up?”

“I doubt it. Someone probably gave him
the tickets.” I looked around, wondering if Raven’s mother and brothers were
nearby. Since I had never met them, I had no idea if they were there. An older
lady and man shuffled past us and sat in the empty seats next to me. Based on
their blondish hair color and fair skin, I knew they weren’t his family. Raven
had a creamy, light brown skin color and dark hair indicating he was probably a
mixed race. Maybe Hispanic or African American with some Anglo. Whatever his
parents were, it made him one damn hot guy.

“It probably works the same way it does
for baseball. They designate certain seats for the players and their family.”

Pressing my fingers to my temples, I
closed my eyes. I didn’t want to think about Collin.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to bring that up.”

After pushing him to the furthest
recesses of my mind, I opened my eyes. “It’s okay.”

The sun was directly overhead and warmed
the air to a nice sixty-five degrees, proving it would be a great day for
football. A train horn blared and smoke filled the south end zone. The big
screen flickered with lights and the announcer spoke over the loud speaker. The
game was starting. The people around us stood and immediately began clapping as
the spirit team entered the field, carrying large purple flags that spelled PHU.
Delaney and I joined the crowd, cheering as the football team made their grand
entrance. The band played as guys in black jerseys and tight spandex pants with
chrome purple helmets sprinted across the turf. I scanned through all of them,
looking for Raven.

“There he is!” Delaney pointed. “Almost
in the center of the field.”

His number called to me, drawing my eyes
directly to him.

“Yep, that’s him.” I pressed my lips
together, holding back a smile that fought to release itself. Seeing him
brought back all the memories, especially the most vivid one that took place in
the stadium several weeks prior. There was no denying what I felt with him and
what I was experiencing in that moment. A silent calling that moved my body,
shaking it to the core.

I watched him track to the side in front
of the forty-yard line along with several other players as they waited for the
referee to start the game. He huddled with several of his teammates and
appeared to be reviewing plays. A whistle blew and the players clapped their
hands before breaking apart and running to their positions on the field. Raven
looked into the stands and I immediately raised my hands in the air. “Raven!
Raven!”