UNFORGETTABLE (Able Series Book 3) (31 page)

“Tami, I’m coming in.”

She doesn’t answer which is nothing new. I slide down against the opposite wall facing her as the hot water washes away whatever negative thoughts are running through her brain. We sit there staring at each other, talking without speaking, and understanding without explaining.

“Do you feel it, too?” I softly ask as I nudge her foot with mine.

“I don’t want to forget Dominic.”

“I won’t let you, sweetheart. We can talk about Dominic whenever you want.”

“I don’t want to replace him.” Her sad eyes leave mine as her lips tremble.

“Who says we are? Nick isn’t a replacement, T. Why would you even think that? I love Dominic more than my own life, but my connection with Nick, I can’t deny it. I don’t want to deny it. He captured my heart from the minute he sat next to me telling me how you’re his angel. Is it too soon to decide on adoption? I don’t think so. I’m ready, T.”

“I feel the pull, too, so why do I feel guilty. Why?”

“Because you’re thinking Nick is a replacement. Nick is Nick . . . and Dominic is Dominic. Dominic is our son . . . he came from you and me. He grew inside you, and he died in your arms. We both love our Dominic. Will that love fade? No, because I won’t fade and neither will you. Now, Nick didn’t come from us. He didn’t grow inside you, but he aches to be loved by us—by you. He wants to be held by your arms and mine. Will you learn to love him? Yes, because you are you. The woman I married is capable of loving anyone.”

“I’m afraid.”

“Of what?”

“Of hurting again. What if he doesn’t like me? What if he can’t love me? What if I can’t love him?”

“He already loves you. You just gotta let love in, again. Allow it to move, Tami. I thought mine wouldn’t when Dominic died, but it did because I know Dominic is looking down from Heaven saying ‘love this boy because he loves my mom.’ Is it stupid to believe that? Probably to some, but not to me. You’ve taught me to believe that things happen for a reason. Maybe Nick is our reason to start another season of our lives. Nick loved you before he ever met you, that says something, just like I love the two angels I lost without laying my eyes on them.”

“It seems too good to be true.”

“It’s good because it’s true, and it’s true because it’s good.”

She giggles—finally. “You sound like my dad.”

I open my arms. “Come here.”

She comes willingly now, wearing the smile that lights up my world. I pull her tightly toward me enjoying the moment of closeness we’ve lost, and she returns it with the same amount of love I’m pouring into this simple embrace.

“I’ve missed you so much.”

She moves to capture my lips, engaging mine in that familiar kiss we’ve always shared. As her tongue spars with mine, I feel her need oozing with every brush and every flick. Each time she nips my lips is a declaration of her want rivaling my own. I’m starved . . . hungry for her affection, but in our hunger, there’s also a sense of
completion
that finally. . . . finally. . . .

It’s.Done.

Her grief . . . her sadness . . . her regrets.

She’s letting go.

Not of the memory of our son, but the pain that’s attached to it.

She says against my lips, “Dominic will forever be in my heart. I can feel his skin against mine. I remember his face, his little hands . . . I remember it all. He smiled, didn’t he?”

Kiss.

Nip.

Hungry kisses.

Loving strokes.

“Yes, he did,” My own voice croaking at the memory of my son.

“I love Dominic so much,” My wife’s own croaking like mine.

Kiss.

Nip.

An intake of hope.

An exhale of hurt.

“He loves you, Tami. He loves us. I . . . I love him.”

“Are you happy?”

Leaning back, I look into her eyes wanting her to believe what I finally believe. “I am, because I know
he’s
happy where he is. I
accepted
His
choice,
to be in a place where I am. I’m proud to have been his dad while he was here. The short time he spent with us, he fought a good fight. I felt his love for me—for us, and my heart will never forget that. I’d like to think Dominic had a choice in the manner in which he fought.” I stop only to witness the acceptance in her eyes. “You’ve always told me and everyone else that everything has a season. Though Dominic’s season in our lives may be over to some because he isn’t here, I say no. His memory lives in my heart and yours . . . every memory is etched into my brain. It helps me to sleep at night knowing He gave me a chance to hold Dominic. Every single time I hold you, Dominic’s right there because he’s a part of you, T. A little bit of you mixed with a little bit of me made him. He is and will be part of our story, sweetheart. Our very own, and now Nick is part of it, too.”

Her tears mix with mine, not of sadness this time, but of happiness. She finally accepts that a loss so great can be received with an open heart, knowing that our Dominic is in a place most of us wish to be in. A place where no tears will flow or no aches exist.

Just like how my lips ache to kiss her, my entire body is dying to be one with her. Our kiss turns into so much more . . . more love and hope exudes from each kiss—each caress. Love flows freely from her lips to mine . . . from her fingertips touching my skin as mine make contact with hers. It’s a need so carnal, yet pure. A yearning so delirious, yet calm. With each nip of my teeth against her lip, my hands are stripping her clean of her clothes while she mirrors my actions.

Before I know it, we’re skin to skin. I pull her up from the waist forcing her legs to wrap around me as I gently push her against the wall, her chest flush with mine, her hands anchored in my hair, my mouth in a frenzy . . . nipping, kissing, and devouring hers.

“Need . . . you,” she breathes out achingly.

Her call speaks to me, and in an instant I’m inside her. Savoring her warmth, burying every inch of me inside her, satisfying the need that only she can fill. We move in sync, every movement is filled with emotion—a tilt of my hips is welcomed by her own, every thrust matched by hers. I give, she takes; and together we chase the completion we both crave . . . a completion we both need . . .

“Love you,” she murmurs against my lips.

The look in her eyes as those words leave her lips renews every part of me that needs revival . . . it erases every doubt . . . heals every hurt and echoes every single thing she has taught me. . . . that everything has a season, and right now. . . .

It’s a season of love—of life.

TAMI

“SO, WHAT’S THE SOS, TAMI?
” Roxy asks as she sips on her coffee.

Trish nudges Roxy then says, “Thank God for moms, right? I wouldn’t have been able to leave at the drop of a hat without mom living with us.”

I blow out a loud sigh catching their attention which is matched with worried stares. Their stares make me even more nervous, not for myself but for Nick, because I want them so badly to accept him as my own.

“We’re seriously thinking of adopting Nick. What do you guys think? Would you guys love him? Like, love him . . . love him?” I nervously start firing off questions. Perhaps, I’m more afraid of their answer rather than the questions themselves.

“Whoa! Breathe, woman,” Roxy says, while she has her hands palms out, trying to calm me down.

I gaze over at Trish who’s shaking her head. Is that disappointment? Shock, maybe? What that hell is that look for? With my brows scrunched up in confusion, Trish finally speaks.

“I. . . . I’m just surprised that you’d even ask us that question. What do you think we’ll do? Disown you? Treat Nick differently?” She stops and plays with her coffee mug then says, “I love Nick simply because he loves you. God, after Dominic’s death, you were lifeless . . .”

“Pssh, you’re being nice, Trish.” Roxy interrupts her, “She was more like a zombie. Let’s be real here.”

Trish rolls her eyes, then glares at my cousin who sticks out her tongue at her.

“Anyway, going back to you being lifeless before I was rudely interrupted . . .” It’s Trish’s turn to stick her tongue at Roxy. “That boy brought meaning back into your life. Not only life, but hope. . . . love. . . . dreams . . . everything. So, to answer your question, I already love Nick. We all do.”

I swing my gaze back to Roxy who seems to be deep in thought, which makes me nervous. Roxy’s past doesn’t allow her to trust easily, but hopefully since Nick is a child that rule doesn’t apply to him.

“What do you think, Rox?”

“Tami, if there’s anyone outside this family that loves you just like Brian does, it’s that boy.”

Trish interrupts her this time, “What am I, chopped liver? Gee, thanks.”

Roxy glares at Trish. “Woman, you’re testing me. You have a vagina. I’m talking about the male population of our family.” Turning my way she says, “From the moment he showed me the picture of you and Carrie, to how he gushes over you, I was on board with the adoption. I actually suggested it early on to Brian. That’s how strongly I feel about Nick. He is a Godsend, T. No doubt . . . no doubt whatsoever.”

Tears and sobs of joy escape my eyes and mouth. I’m overjoyed with everything they’ve told me. It’s the same thing my parents told me. Every word is a confirmation of what my heart feels, and what my head tells me.

“I . . . I don’t know how to explain it. But, I’m glad both of you understands it. He’s renewed everything in me. I can’t even begin to pinpoint how it all started. His touch . . . his touch healed me. The instant his little hands held my face, I knew . . . he had to be mine. Am I crazy?” I shake my head as I wipe my eyes. “I . . . I don’t think so?”

“What does your heart tell you?” Trish asks solemnly.

“My heart doesn’t tell me anything. My heart feels him—I feel him.”

“Then, follow your heart. It has never steered you wrong. In fact, it has never steered our group wrong, T.”

“Trish is right, Tami. You’ve always spoken and acted from the heart. Why stop now? Brian already loves Nick. Practically, everybody loves Nick. Actually, everyone is just waiting for you to get on board.”

“I just feel guilty, sometimes. I mean my happiness is also Nick’s sadness because of Carrie’s death. A part of me thinks he’ll never love me as his mother.”

Trish reaches across the table and holds my hand. “Tami, only God knows why things happened the way they did. It’s hard to figure out His plan in all of this, but one thing is clear, everything happens for a reason. Everyone we meet isn’t by circumstance or coincidence. It’s all part of His plan. Don’t question it—embrace it. I’ve questioned why Dylan was taken from me, but you know what? He gave me Jake, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. I’ll go through the pain ten times over because Jake is worth every tear.”

“Don’t you think it’s too soon?” I field them another question that’s been bothering me.

“Too soon? Who are you, and what have you done to my cousin? Love is love, T. It happens when it happens. You’ve always said that everything has a season. At this very moment, I can honestly tell you, it’s your season of loving Nick. As it is his season of loving you.”

Sighing deeply I say, “Thank you.”

“For what?” Both answer in unison.

“For loving and accepting him.”

“What does your dad always say?” Roxy asks wearing her signature smile that’s infectious as hell.

Trish and I answer at the same time, copying my dad’s voice, “Anyone who loves the women in my family is welcome in our circle of trust.”

A smile escapes my lips. “Our circle just keeps getting bigger and bigger.”

Roxy retorts, “Big . . . oh it’s big, alright.”

Trish seconds, “Definitely, bigger . . .”

With that question finally off my chest, I feel more at ease. Not that I wasn’t. Nick has gone through a great loss and making life easier for him is my number one priority. Any mother would—Carrie would expect that from me.

BRIAN

“Are the papers being drawn as we speak?” Jake asks.

“Yes. I want everything done, ASAP. This waiting game is killing me.”

Cody says, “Good things come to those who wait.”

LT claps. “Finally! Thank you, God! My brother-in-law is growing up.”

“You’re lucky you’re a Secret Service Agent now; otherwise, I’d destroy that pretty boy image you got going on.”

I cock my head and ask, “LT, what’s your opinion about this whole adoption thing?”

“Is that what you and Tami want?” Of course he answers with a question.

“One hundred percent,” I answer confidently.

“Then my opinion is one hundred percent in agreement with yours. As long as it makes sense up here.” He points at his head. “And, you feel it right here.” He points at his chest. “Then, you’re good to go, man.”

Jake’s somber voice echoes in the night. “Would you guys try again?”

Without wasting a second I quip, “Of course. I want to fill our house with children. I know Tami’s heart is big enough to love me and then some. She’s a mother by nature . . . a nurturer. Why would I deny my child that?”

“Aren’t you scared of what might happen? What if the same thing happens again?” Cody asks, worry lacing his voice.

“I can’t live on assumptions, Cody. I’ve done it all my life—all my life. I’m stepping out on faith, knowing that it’s all going to work out. We’re going to seek sound medical advice, sure. But fear . . . that shit has no place in our home.” I start to laugh, surprised that they’re actually talking me out of it. “I can’t believe you guys are talking me out of trying again.”