Under the July Sun (24 page)

She stood absolutely still. Her face flushed with anger. How could he?
Begging
! And right on our own doorstep too! What if people knew them?

Fury propelled Cat through the crowd, dragging Billy behind her. She positioned herself in the front row and as Louis came to the end of his piece and passed his cap round, gathering up the pennies, he saw Cat turn and disappear through the crowd.

She jumped straight on a tram to Eltham, dragging Billy behind her.

Billy's feet hardly touched the ground as she marched from the tram stop to home. All the way he had cried, as he hadn't had his ice cream.

Louis sheepishly opened the front door later and was met with chaos. Clothes were everywhere and Cat was furiously throwing items into a trunk.

‘What's going on?'

‘Huh! Ye may well ask. Should be me I'da thought, askin' that question. Beggin' indeed! There right in the middle of Woolwich with the entire world to see!'

Louis sat down and asked her again, ‘What's going on, what are all those clothes?'

‘I'm goin' home and this lot is goin' on ahead of me.'

‘What do you mean, you're going home?'

‘Exactly what I say!. I'm goin' home. Ye needn't think I'm goin' to sit around here and watch me husband goin' out beggin' each day. The
disgrace
of it! I'd rather go out and scrub steps meself than see ye doin' that.'

‘Cat. Cat,' he moaned, ‘come on now it's not begging, it's called busking.'

‘Whichever way ye look at it Louis, ye were beggin', and it's the biggest disgrace ever. I don't know how ye could do it. Anyone could have seen ye. Anyone!'

‘I couldn't get any work and I've made this.' He emptied his pocket onto the table and counted it. ‘Ten and eleven pence,' he said, ‘I couldn't have earned that in that bike factory, could I?'

Cat looked at the piles of pennies then at Louis and said nothing.

‘It's not what I would choose to do but I'm not skilled in any particular trade. Playing the violin is the only talent I have.'

‘Huh! So, how often have ye done this before then?'

‘Well, once. I would probably have had a regular job at The Strand Palace Hotel if I hadn't missed the audition?'

‘Audition? What audition?'

‘I had an audition, but I missed it.'

‘When was that?'

‘A while back when you were in Ireland, after Eileen was born.'

‘So how did this audition come about then?'

Louis licked his lips. He realised that in telling her about the audition she may now find out about him busking in London too.

Before he had a chance to answer though, Cat's puzzled frown disappeared and she began shouting.

‘Oh I
see
now. Ye went buskin' or beggin' while I was away too!'

Then as if she suddenly realised something else she became quiet.

‘Cat, come on now it's not worth causing a row over, is it?'

Silently, Cat folded and packed more clothes until the room was clear. She pulled out the sewing machine and finished off the dresses she was making; put them in a bag and left the house to deliver them.

Louis hoped that when she returned later she would be in a better frame of mind, but though she seemed calmer when she came back, he realised she was determined to carry out her threat.

Cat continued packing and when all the clothes were inside the trunk and she had locked it, she turned to Louis and asked if he would have her trunk picked up and sent ahead.

‘So you're going after all?'

She didn't look up. ‘That evenin' suit belonged to ye all along didn't it?'

Mary was sitting on a garden chair beneath the shade of a tree when Cat arrived with the children. She looked surprised and attempted to get up, but Cat told her to remain where she was.

‘Cat, 'tis lovely to see ye and the children. I didn't know ye'd arrived. Mummy said ye were coming home, but wouldn't tell me when. She's kept it as a surprise.'

‘Ye're supposed to be resting Mary, don't get up, stay there, I'll make us a cup of tea. Make the most of it Mary, for when the baby arrives, ye'll find ye'll never get much chance to be waited on.'

‘Ye're the best Cat. C'mon now Billy, give yer auntie Mary a big kiss, and ye too Marie.' She held her arms open and the children dutifully stepped forward and kissed her. Cat turned and walked towards the house to make tea and Mary watching her retreat thought she looked pale and sad. She sat talking to the children until Cat re-appeared with a tray.

‘Where's Daniel?' Cat asked as she set it down on the garden table.

‘He's up at his mother's place; she's bad again with her chest, poor soul.'

‘Ah, that's tough,' Cat said pouring the tea, ‘She should move away from that side of the mountain, it's far too damp if ye have chest trouble.' She handed a cup to Mary.

‘Thanks, Cat,' Mary said taking the tea, ‘ye're right an' we keep tryin' to get her to come an' live nearer, but she won't. She wants to stay on that old mountain until she goes out in a box she says. Ah, well I guess ye can understand it.'

Cat raised her eyebrows and grimaced.

Mary continued. ‘She's been there her entire life.'

Billy walked over to the table and took a biscuit.

‘Billy!' Cat raised her voice. ‘Ye ask Auntie Mary if ye may have one. Now put it back.'

Billy returned the biscuit to the plate and stood glaring at his mother.

‘Well, are ye goin' to ask nicely?'

‘Don't want one.'

‘Oh ye little devil. C'mon now and we'll give ye one if ye just say, please may I have a biscuit, Auntie!'

Before Billy had time to make his request, Mary's hands began to shake and she asked Cat to take the cup from her. All colour drained from her face and her lips turned blue. She wiped her face with her handkerchief and began gasping for air.

Alarmed, Cat jumped to her feet. ‘Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what's goin' on? Can I get ye something?'

‘Water, just water.' Mary gasped for air.

Cat rushed into the house, poured water from a jug and hurried back to Mary who had recovered her colour a little. She took the water; swallowed some and gave the glass back to Cat.

‘Thanks, Cat.'

‘Lord save us us, Mary. Ye gave me a fright. What's happenin'?'

Mary shifted her weight in the chair and shivering, drew her shawl round her shoulders.

‘'Tis cold out here, Cat, shall we go inside now?' She held up her hand for Cat to pull her from the chair. ‘I'm a fat ole lump aren't I?'

As Cat held her hand she could feel Mary's felt clammy and trembling.

‘Let's get ye inside,' Cat said looking across the garden where she saw Billy was playing happily on the lawn with Marie. Eileen was sitting on a blanket watching them, so Cat helped her sister to a sofa in the lounge. After Mary was settled she asked Cat to sit with her.

‘Cat, did ye ever feel as though a little bird was flutterin' in yer chest when ye were expectin' the children?'

Cat didn't want to alarm her, but she couldn't say she had. ‘Well, what does the little bird feel like?'

‘I feel this little flutterin' begin, and then my heart pounds like a racehorse. 'Tis as though I'm suffocatin' and I'm afraid I'll not be able to draw my next breath.'

‘So, it's happened before then?'

‘Oh yes, quite often actually. I expect 'tis normal though isn't it?'

Cat sat down next to her and took Mary's hand, stroking it affectionately. A little time elapsed.

‘So what does Daniel say about this little bird fluttering?'

‘He doesn't know. I don't want to worry him, Cat. Havin' a baby is the most normal thing in the world an' he's enough worry on his shoulders with his mother. I don't want to bother him.'

‘Mary, I think ye should tell Daniel. He's a doctor and maybe he can put yer mind at rest. Ye have to see if it's normal or not. I don't think I ever experienced anythin' like this, but if ye tell him and he says 'tis normal, then normal it is. Promise me ye'll tell him when he comes home.'

Mary looked at her wide-eyed. ‘Ye're frightenin' me now, Cat.'

‘Ah, c'mon Mary. Ye'll do fine. But ye have to check this out. I think ye should go on up to bed and rest for the afternoon now.'

‘But ye've only just arrived.'

‘Don't worry. I'll be here for a bit. I'm on a little holiday.'

‘Oh that's nice, Cat. Is Louis with ye?

‘No.' Cat looked away.

‘Is he comin' over soon?'

‘I don't know exactly.' She continued to avert her face, staring out of the window, but her eyes filled with tears.

Mary reached over to her and placed her hand on Cat's and gave it a squeeze.

‘Ah Cat. Ye've not fallen out have ye?'

Unable to answer, Cat continued to stare out of the window. Then she saw Billy and Marie having a tussle on the lawn so she jumped up quickly without answering and rushed outside to break up the fight. She scolded Billy but he said Marie had started it by taking a biscuit.

Cat drew Marie onto her lap and realised that in the few months since she'd left her in Ireland she had grown almost as big as Billy. Something worried Cat though - she was aware there was strangeness between her and the child. She felt that this wasn't the child she had given birth to, and that Marie ranged somewhere in her affection equivalent to a niece.

It was a strange experience and Cat couldn't work out why she should feel this way towards her daughter. Eileen now felt far more like her own child than Marie. She put her down and, satisfied the children had resolved their quarrel, returned to Mary's lounge.

‘Little devils, ye can't take yer eyes off them can ye?' She stared at Mary and thought she looked a lot better; her colour was normal and her lips were no longer blue. ‘Mary, are ye goin' on up to bed to rest now?'

‘Yes I s'ppose so. But, Cat. I asked ye a question and ye haven't answered me yet. I'll go once ye've answered me.'

Cat looked at her, ‘Ye want to know whether Louis and I have quarrelled? Well, I don't want this to be general knowledge, Mary. If I tell ye in confidence, promise ye'll not say a word to Mummy, Dada, or anyone?'

‘Of course, Cat. Ye know I'll not say a word to anyone, not even Daniel. How's that?'

Cat told Mary about the job situation, how they sacked men for the sake of a penny; the constant threat of no food and no money; Louis' pride in not asking his mother for a job in her shop; and how she had found him begging in the street.

But the biggest thorn in her flesh had been the fact he had lied to her.

‘Wasn't it,' she asked Mary, ‘the most important thing between husband and wife that they could trust each other, and have complete honesty?'

Mary listened without comment until Cat had finished speaking.

‘Cat, we're none of us perfect. If we were to go through life without doin' one single thing wrong, then we'd all be saints, not sinners.' She leaned forward and plumped up the cushion behind her. ‘Soften yer heart towards him Cat, he's a good man, and he's the one ye chose to spend yer life with, isn't he?'

Cat nodded.

‘It sounds to me as though he was doin' nothin' more than tryin' to put food in yer mouths, without ye knowin' where the money came from. Is that so wrong?'

‘But he lied to me Mary. He told such a fantastic lie about the evenin' suit. How could he?'

Mary reached out and took Cat's hand.

‘Judge not, that ye be judged, Our Lord said Cat. C'mon now, why not write to him and ask him to come on over? We'll have a grand time. The harvest is nearly ready to get in. Maybe he can help Tom and Dada and at the same time get back some of his self-respect. Ye know a man likes to feel he's providin' for his family, however he does it.' Mary watched Cat's shoulders slacken and continued. ‘Cat, don't put off until tomorrow, what could be done today. None of us know what life has in store for us and it's a waste of precious time holdin' on to anger. Ask yerself what ye'd have felt if he hadn't come back from the war!'

Cat looked down and fidgeted with the lace on her blouse as tears slid unchecked down her face.

‘Ye'll forgive him won't ye Cat?'

Cat sat thinking about it, wrestling with her anger and hurt.

‘C'mon Cat, ye know ye're head over heels in love with the man.'

‘Ye're an old sage now aren't ye?' she said smiling at Mary. ‘I'll write to him. Thanks a million, Mary. I'll tell Louis the reunion is down to you.'

‘Ah well, ye know the old saying, May the roof over yer house never fall in and may those beneath it never fall out. Life's too short, Cat, and we never know what's around the corner.'

Mary paused as though remembering something and then continued. ‘Cat, I have somethin' for ye and Louis. It was for yer wedding anniversary, but why wait? I'd've posted it but since ye're here, well, go over to the drawer there, it's wrapped in tissue paper.'

Cat went to the drawer, opened it and lifted out the package wrapped in tissue paper. She crossed the room and handed it to Mary. ‘Is this what you mean?'

‘Yes thanks, 'tis.' Mary looked at her. ‘Now, I've two rosaries here. One is for ye and the other for Louis, but I want ye to have the pick. Ye choose Cat, either the red one or the white, I don't mind which.'

Cat unfolded the tissue, took the rosaries out and held them up, looking from one to the other. She chose the white one then re-wrapped the red and handed it back to Mary.

‘Ye give it to Louis when he comes Mary. He'd like that, he really would.' Cat drew up a chair and sat next to her sister stroking her forehead. ‘Thanks a million Mary, I'll treasure it knowin' ye bought it for me.'