Under the July Sun (10 page)

Even Tom, he thought, was looking less enthusiastic these days, loafing about aimlessly after work. Ned decided the spark had gone out of their lives and that none of them had appreciated, until Cat had gone, that she was the axel in their machinery.

He had lost her for good and it hurt. It seemed she would probably never come home to live again unless something drastic happened or, he thought, if he demanded her return! But no. He could not do that, he needed another plan.

Tom appeared cycling along the main road, and then turned off to free wheel down the boreen towards Monroe. Ned waved and beckoned to him so Tom braked and dismounted, walking his bicycle to where Ned stood.

‘What's up Dada? Are ye all right? Ye look a bit off colour.'

Ned drew himself up straight and dug in his pocket for cigarettes. Pulling out a packet he offered one to Tom and they lit up. ‘Tom, I want ye to go to England and bring her home.'

Tom looked at him, surprised by the request.

‘Dada, what's got into ye?'

‘I just don't like the way she's livin' out there with those heathens.'

‘Aw, c'mon now. How do ye know what she's livin' like, we haven't heard from her yet?'

‘We had a letter today and I'm not satisfied she's happy. She says she has two jobs, but neither are what I would have mapped out for her. She's a country girl and she should be here with us courtin' a nice Irish boy, not packin' bullets from sun up to sun down in some old factory.'

‘
Ah
! So that's what she's doin'?'

‘'Tis. As well as lookin' after a house and the children for Louis' sister. But that's not the problem. 'Tis just that, well, if she's lookin' after other peoples' children, she could be here lookin' after some of her own.'

‘Ye cannot run her life for her, Dada. She's gone now and whether she packs bullets or washes floors for a livin' we have to accept it. She could
not
stay here. Not after what happened, ye
know
that.'

Ned didn't want to listen to Tom's reasoning and instead continued pouring out his thoughts to him.

‘We let her down. We could not defend her and I want to have a second chance at doin' just that. So, Tom, I want ye to go over and fetch her back.'

Tom inhaled the cigarette smoke and looked at Ned. ‘I'll think about it Dada, but I'm not sure 'tis the best idea ye've had.'

Ned stared into the distance at Slievenamon Mountain. ‘She loves this place.' His lip quivered. ‘Yer mother cannot go on without her, 'tis killin' her.'

‘Mummy has not said anythin' to me.'

‘No, and she won't. She's too proud. But I can tell. And don't ye go mentionin' it to her. I know her better than anyone and I can tell ye, 'tis so!'

Tom looked away, embarrassed by the emotion in Ned's voice. He started to wheel his bicycle away then stopped and turned back. ‘Ye know Dada, I get the feelin' that Cat's the only one ye worry about in this family.'

Ned looked at him, surprised by the remark, then took out his handkerchief and blew his nose.

‘What gives ye that idea?'

‘Ye constantly bleat on about missin' all that Cat did for ye, when I do my very best after work to do all that she did, but ye never seem to notice all that I do.'

‘'Tis not so. And ye know it, Tom.'

‘I do
not
know it, and that's the point. I just cannot seem to make up for her goin' can I?'

‘Ye do fine son, ye do. I s'pose I just feel we let her down by not tryin' harder to catch those swines. 'Tis me that cannot make it up, not ye.'

Ned turned away and busied himself digging out the gatepost as bitter tears slid down his face in the cold December wind.

Alone in her bedroom, Cat sat staring out of the window well into the evening. Rain hammered relentlessly down as the wind roared along the road and across the rooftops. She watched the trees thrashing about helplessly, their black arms appearing to reach out for mercy from the burgeoning storm.

She was thinking about home and smiled to herself, remembering how on nights such as this as children they all sat around the fire thinking up scary stories about the Banshee, trying to terrorise each other!

Suddenly she felt depressed as she remembered the sound of the train door slamming, and her family weeping on the railway platform the day she left Ireland. Cat buried her face in a pillow, hoping Lize would not hear her crying.

It was Christmas Day and she had gone to her bedroom early that evening, feeling she was intruding at the family gathering. Louis and Lize's mother, and Lize's mother-in-law had arrived that morning, and were now gathered in the parlour playing games. Every so often Cat could hear them shrieking with laughter and she felt the pain of being away from home.

Cat had realised her welcome had worn thin with Lize after the first couple of weeks. She felt Lize would prefer not to have her living there after all except, Cat reminded herself, that she was useful looking after the children and performing domestic duties.

It infuriated Cat how Lize had begun to laugh at her
funny little ways
, as she termed it. They were small things initially; such as Cat ironing the handkerchiefs in triangles rather than squares. But now it was harder to tolerate, as Lize's laughter had turned to open derision and hostility on occasions.

Lize had recently forbidden Cat to light a fire in her bedroom, because she said she could not afford to heat it as well as her own and the children's. It left Cat in no doubt that it was time to go.

So Cat had written to her sister Ellie before Christmas and asked her to join her in England, saying there was work for her and definite accommodation for them both through her job. She thought it would do Ellie good to have a change of scene since hearing her fiancé Jimmy had been killed in France.

Ellie's reply had arrived the day before Christmas Eve and Cat was delighted to read she would be arriving at the beginning of January. Thrilled with the knowledge that the end of living with Lize was in sight, Cat felt she could tolerate just one more week.

It was very cold in the bedroom, so by the light of a candle, she undressed quickly and climbed into bed, the cold air pinching her skin. The bed linen felt icy, and though she had bought herself some socks, Cat shivered violently between the cold cotton sheets. She held her rosary between her fingers and began to say a Hail Mary, but not able to concentrate, her mind drifted to her impending move.

Once I move into my own place
, she thought,
I'm gonna have a fire warmin' me backside every night, if it's the last thing I do
.

She sat up and blew the candle out; but as she lay in the darkness her thoughts turned to Louis. It had been some time now since he had written and she wondered whether he had lost interest in her or perhaps found someone else to write to. She was bewildered as initially he had been very enthusiastic about receiving her letters; but he had not answered her last three. Cat saw his letters to Lize arrive, so knew he couldn't be wounded.

A few days ago Cat had asked Lize if Louis mentioned her in his letters and she had seemed surprised by the question.

‘Oh no, but then he wouldn't would he? He's probably got himself a nice little French girl,' she had laughed ‘you know what men are. Fickle, the lot of them!'

As she lay turning the thoughts over in her mind she could not help feeling depressed. It did seem as though Louis had forgotten her. Now she only had to pluck up the courage to tell Lize the next day that she was going and she would be able to put it all behind her.

Cat decided to write to Louis once more when she had moved, and if he didn't reply she told herself their relationship would have finished before it had even begun.

Ellie was due to arrive the following day and Cat was moving out. The only problem was she hadn't yet told Lize! Not that it would come as that much of a surprise, she decided, because Lize had made her feel very uncomfortable for some time.

Cat was thrilled her application for a house through her job had been approved; but now it was imperative that she break the news to Lize.

She put Lize's breakfast tray on the kitchen table and arranged fingers of bread on a plate beside the eggcup. When the egg was boiled she made the tea and took it up to Lize who was having a lie in. She tapped on the bedroom door.

‘Come in.' Lize called and Cat bustled in with her tray.

‘Mornin' Lize I've done yer egg and will bring up some toast right away. Now is there anythin' else ye need?'

‘No, thank you. This looks fine,' she said cracking open the egg. ‘Has the post come yet?'

‘Yes, and there's a letter for me from Louis.' Cat beamed at her and patted her apron pocket. ‘Oh and one for ye too,' she added handing an envelope to Lize. Then she disappeared as fast as she could downstairs grinning to herself.

She was going to take possession of her new house today and knew she had to tell Lize today. She resolved to do this when she took her up another cup of tea.

While the kettle was re-boiling she stood nervously in the kitchen trying to pluck up the courage to go upstairs again. She willed it not to boil too quickly as she wanted more time to plan her speech to Lize but within seconds the kettle was puffing hot steam from the spout, so she spooned more tea into the pot and topped it up with water. Before taking it upstairs she sat down at the table to read the letter.

She was surprised to find he was disappointed she had not replied to his last few letters and this puzzled her. She folded up the letter and put it in her pocket, poured Lize's second cup of tea and took it up to her. She knocked on the bedroom door.

‘Come in,' Lize called, ‘are the children up yet?'

‘Yes, Reggie's already gone out with that boy Rodney, and Iris has gone to see yer mother.'

Lize looked relieved and settled back to drink her second cup of tea whilst reading a book.

‘Lize,' Cat began, ‘there's somethin' I'd like to tell ye.'

Lize looked up surprised. She waited for Cat to continue.

‘Lize, I'll be movin' out now to be livin' with me sister, Ellie. Her fiancée was killed in France, so she's comin' over to join me, an' I've been offered accommodation through work. There's a development of hutments, and I'm to get one.'

There, she thought, I've said it. She waited for Lize's reaction. For a few moments there was silence until Lize put down her book and turned her face to look at Cat.

‘Well that's fine actually, Cat. I had already decided to change my shift to daytime. Night duties just don't work for me. I can't sleep in daylight and I'm just worn out not getting my rest.' She sipped her tea and began to hum.

‘So that's all right wit' ye then?' Cat asked, hoping for some pleading on Lize's behalf to show she cared and had appreciated having her help the past few months.

Lize smiled. ‘Yes, Cat. It
is
.' She picked up a book again and began to read.

Deflated that Lize had not shown an iota of concern at her departure, Cat turned and went downstairs.

Waiting on the platform at Paddington Station, Cat could barely contain her excitement. As the swarm of people streamed off the boat train from Fishguard, she searched their faces for her sister's. Then she saw Ellie, with her unmistakable halo of unruly auburn hair standing on the platform looking around her. She called to her but her voice was drowned by the general babble of people; so she elbowed her way through the crowds until she was standing behind her.

She tapped Ellie on the shoulder, expecting to see the familiar dancing green eyes and sprinkling of freckles on her milk-white skin, but when Ellie turned, Cat gasped at the alteration in her face. Her skin looked grey and she had lost a lot of weight. She seemed to have shrunk, leaving her skin hanging emptily on her bony frame.

Ellie threw her arms around Cat's neck and sobbed.

‘There, there, mo chuisle,' Cat said, stroking her hair. ‘everythin' will be fine now. Ye'll see.' She dried Ellie's eyes with her handkerchief. ‘God has a funny way of workin'. Jimmy was a good man and God's taken him. God rest his soul.'

‘Amen,' Ellie whispered.

‘I know he'll be sittin' up there in Heaven now on the right hand of God,' Cat said, then lifted Ellie's bag, but immediately dropped it. ‘God in Heaven Ellie, what have ye altogether in here, house-bricks?'

‘I've brought all I have Cat. I'm not goin' back. Not ever. I'm goin' to work, and do anythin' the Woolwich Arsenal asks of me, until those rotten Germans are sent packin'.'

‘C'mon now, let's get goin',' she said hugging Ellie to her, ‘at least we have each other and we've both got work. We can do our bit for the war effort together now. Oh by the Blessed Virgin Mary Ellie, ye don't know how grand it is to see ye!'

* * *

When they reached the development of hutments in Eltham, Cat stopped outside number 74 Crookston Road. She took a key from her pocket and dangled it in the air.

‘This is the one,' she said going through the gateway, then opened the front door and stood aside to allow Ellie in first.

Ellie stepped into the small hallway and turned to Cat, ‘Which way now?'

‘Turn right'

Ellie walked into the room and gasped, ‘Is
all
this
ours
?'

‘Sure!
All
of it. And there's more. We've three bedrooms and a scullery and out back, our own flushin' toilet. Isn't it wonderful? Cat babbled on excitedly. ‘And to think there's just the two of us here. A bedroom each and our own parlour. C'mon in here and look,' she said, rushing into a bedroom. ‘Grand isn't it?'