Undeniable (6 page)

“Um…Ash?” Shelly stood a few feet behind me.

I looked over my shoulder, annoyed. “What?”

“Are we going to do this or what?” The attitude was in her voice.

Alaska gave me a look of pure loathing. “Go have fun with your fuck buddy.” She locked the mailbox then stormed to her apartment.

I watched her go, making sure she got inside without any problems.

Shelly kept watching me. “What was that about…?”

I saw the light in Alaska’s living room turn on. Her silhouette moved behind the curtain. I could still see her curves as she walked across the room, still sorting through the mail. I finally turned back to Shelly. “Nothing. Just my annoying neighbor.”

“For being annoying, you sure seem to care about her.”

Now I glared at her. “How about we don’t talk until we’re done?”

She crossed her arms over her chest and started to brood. “God, you’re such a dick.”

“But as long as I make you come what does it matter?” I walked into my apartment then led her inside. Once the door was shut, I threw Shelly on the bed and released all the frustration I felt. Alaska drove me crazy. I hated her, loathed her, but I couldn’t get her out of my mind. She was everywhere, in my thoughts and in my fantasies. Without meaning to, Shelly changed and morphed into a different version of Alaska. It was low, even for me, but I couldn’t shake it. I fucked her, coming inside her and wishing she were someone else.

The next morning, I got ready for school. I didn’t have a rotation at the hospital, so I got to wear jeans and a light jacket. It was nice not preparing for a twelve-hour shift. I finished my coffee while I looked over my notes. I had an exam in anatomy today. It seemed like I had an exam everyday. My brain was stuffed with so much information that it leaked out in bits and pieces.

I left my mug on the counter then walked out, my bag over one shoulder. Anytime I stepped outside, I subconsciously hoped I’d run into Alaska. It made no sense. I had no chance with her, and every time we spoke, we argued. But I was still drawn to her.

I reached my car then heard the loud sound of an engine turning over. I glanced over and saw Alaska in front of her truck, the hood popped open with grease on her hands. She was digging inside, trying to fix whatever the problem was.

“Seriously?” she spat at the truck. “Today you do this to me? Of all days?” She gripped the sides of the engine then stared down, trying to solve the puzzle. “Dang, I’m going to be late.”

I should just drive away. I had an exam that I couldn’t miss, and that was more important than helping her with her car. I would lose a week rotation at the hospital as a consequence. And I needed all the experience I could get.

But I couldn’t leave her.

I sighed then walked to her. “What’s it doing?”

She flinched when she realized I was next to her. “Geez, you scared the crap out of me.”

“But when I come out of nowhere at night, you don’t blink an eye?” I couldn’t hide my annoyance. She was ignorant to the world around her, particularly danger. I wished she would look after herself better. The last thing I wanted was for something to happen to her…like what happened to my sister.

She clenched her jaw and didn’t look at me. “I’m not in the mood for your bullshit.”

“Neither am I.” I reached inside then opened her oil tank.

“What are you doing?”

“Helping you,” I snapped. I took out the oil drum and realized it was empty. “When was the last time you changed your oil?”

“I don’t know…what does it matter?”

Girls…
“Because you’re completely out of it. Driving a car without oil is like running a marathon without water. It could kill you.”

“Are you sure that’s what it is?”

“Absolutely.” I closed the cap then looked at her truck. It was old, ancient. “You should just scrap this piece of junk and get a reliable car.”

“No.”

“No? This thing has to be thirty years old.”

“And they don’t make them like this anymore.”

Arguing with her was giving me a headache. “Whatever. I’m just trying to help.”

“Well, I don’t need your help.”

“I think you do.” I closed her hood then wiped my hands on my jeans. “Can your parents come get you to get oil?”

She looked uncomfortable. “Uh, no.”

“How about your sister?”

“She’s in class.” She stared at her truck while she thought. “I have a photo shoot and I’m going to be late. I really need the money for rent.” She sighed. “Why does stuff like this always happen to me?” It seemed like she was talking to herself more than she was talking to me.

I knew I was going to regret this. “Take my car to work and I’ll take care of your truck.”

She looked at me like I just pulled a snake out of my throat. “What?”

“Take my car, do your thing, and I’ll get your truck the right oil. She’ll be back to normal by the time you return.”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

Yes. Somewhere very important
. “No.”

For the first time, she gave me a soft look. “Why are you helping me?”

“Because despite what you think, I can be a gentleman.”

She didn’t have a response to that.

I pulled out my keys and handed them to her. “Now hurry.”

“You’re going to let me drive your expensive car?”

“It’s just a car.”

She held the keys in her hand then shifted her weight back and forth.

“It’s fine, really.”

She got her supplies out of the passenger door then came back to me. “Thanks…”

“Yeah.”

She stared at me awkwardly, like she wanted to say something else. “I guess I’ll see you when I get back.”

“Yeah.”

She walked to my car then got inside. A moment later, she drove away.

I called the one person who would come to my aid without blinking an eye.

She answered immediately. “It’s way too early to be drinking, Ash.”

I smirked. “What are you doing right now?”

“Having breakfast with the man I’m living with but not married to.”

I laughed at her jab toward my parents. “I need a favor.”

“What’s up?”

“I need you to pick me up and take me to get oil.”

“You ran out of oil?” she asked incredulously. “If you’re going to drive a hundred-thousand dollar car you should take care of it.”

“It’s not for me, brat. I’m helping a friend.” I felt awkward saying the word ‘friend’.

“I’ll be there in a second.”

“Thanks.” I hung up and waited for my sister to arrive.

She pulled up in front of the building and I got inside. “Don’t you have an exam today?”

She actually listened to me?
“Yeah.”

“And you’re missing it?”

“My friend needed help.”

She studied me for a moment. “You’re the most selfish person I know. Who would you sacrifice an exam for besides me?”

I hated being put on the spot. “Just drive.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

We headed to the auto parts store and I got the bottle I needed. I paid for it then we headed back. Once we were back at the apartment, I popped the hood open and added the oil.

Livia studied the old truck. “You’re ditching an exam to help a guy?”

“It’s for a girl. She had to get to work.”

Livia examined the parking lot. “Ash, where’s your car?”

“She took it.”

Her eyes were bigger than I’d ever seen them. “You don’t even let
me
drive your car.”

I put the cap back on then shut the hood. “Well, she needed it.”

“Normally, you would tell people to walk.”

I kept my gaze averted.

“Ash?”

I wiped my hands on my jeans. “What?”

“Who’s this girl?”

“She’s my neighbor. I already told you that.”

Livia gave me a look I’d never seen before. “I think she’s a lot more than just your neighbor...”

“Go analyze someone else.” I shut the hood then headed to the front door.

“You must be hooked on her if you would do all of this for her.” She grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

“I’m not.”

“Are you in love with her?”

“No,” I snapped. “She’s just some girl.”

“Cut the bullshit, Ash. You went over the moon for her. The only person you would ever do that for is me. Now she must be pretty damn special.”

“Leave me alone, brat.”

“You don’t actually expect me to do that, right?”

I smirked. “At least right now. I might be able to make it to finish some of the exam.”

She shook her head slightly. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.” I shut the door then left the parking lot. The stereo didn’t work, the AC was shot, and it was a stick shift.

Fuck
.

When I came home that evening, my car was back in its original spot. I checked the doors and made sure she didn’t dent anything. After I made sure there wasn’t a single scratch, I walked up the stairs and to her door. Then I knocked.

She answered the door a second later, the usual hostility that adorned her face absent. “Hey…”

“Hi.” I handed her keys back to her. “Your truck is as good as new. Well, as new as a beat up pickup can be.”

She took them then a small smile stretched her face. She hadn’t given me one since the day we met. “Thank you. It just needed oil?”

“Yeah. You should get it changed every three thousand miles. You can probably last until five thousand, but I wouldn’t recommend it due to the age of your vehicle.”

“Thanks for letting me know.”

“Your dad never told you that?”

“Uh, no. I don’t have a dad.”

She doesn’t have a dad?
“Oh…did he pass away?”

“No. He left when I was born.” She acted like she was discussing the weather.

“Oh…I’m sorry.”
What did you say to something like that?

“It’s okay. I did just fine without him.”

“Yes, you did,” I blurted.

She gave me a slight smirk then returned my keys to me. “Thanks for letting me borrow your car. It was a smooth ride.”

“Sure.”

“I drove ten miles under the speed limit the entire time.”

I chuckled. “I appreciate it.”

“You like
Crimson Kings
?”

How did she know that?
“Yeah…”

“I listened to the CD in your car,” she explained. “I like them too.”

“Oh.” We actually had something in common.

She played with her hands for a moment, fidgeting. “I really appreciate the way you helped me today. Honestly, I had no one else to call…” The sadness was heavy in her voice. “And if I didn’t get to that shoot in time, I would have been behind on my rent.”

I felt warm inside. I never helped anyone else beside myself, and I never expected it to feel good. “No problem. I didn’t mind.”

“Perhaps I misjudged you…” She looked at me with new eyes.

“No, you didn’t,” I said honestly.

Her eyes softened with humor.

“But I’m more complicated than I appear.”

“I’m starting to realize that.”

“So…since I helped you out, maybe you could help me out.” I nodded toward my apartment and winked at her.

Her smile dropped.

“Kidding.”

She relaxed then laughed. “With the promiscuous lifestyle you have, I wouldn’t have been surprised.”

I didn’t have a response to that. I was a manwhore and I wouldn’t deny it.

“I made you something as a thank you.”

“What?”

She stepped inside then returned with a dish. “Chicken tamales. I’m not good at many things, but I can cook.”

I took it with both hands. The plate was still warm. “Thank you.”

“Now you can feed your guests when they come over.” She had a smirk on her face.

Talking about all the girls at my apartment made me feel like shit. I couldn’t explain why.

“Well, thank you for everything. If there’s anything I can do for you, let me know.”

“These tamales are more than enough.”

“I hope you like them.”

I stepped away and headed to my apartment. “Good night, Alaska.”

“Good night, Ash.”

I turned around when she didn’t use my real name. “Thanks.”

“Your secret is safe with me.” She gave me one last smile before she shut the door.

CHAPTER TEN

Alaska

Jace invited me over for dinner. I thought it was sweet that he wanted to cook for me, but when I arrived I realized he ordered in.

“Orange chicken?” he asked.

I didn’t understand how he had such a good body when he ate garbage all the time. “Sure.”

He handed me the plate then took his own into the living room. He sat on the couch and faced the TV. A game was on.

This isn’t exactly what I had in mind for a date. We hadn’t spent a lot of time together, and I didn’t want to eat on the couch while watching sports. I didn’t want much, just a quiet conversation and some attention.

“How’s your truck?” he asked.

“It runs fine now.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there.”

“It’s okay. I knew you were at work.” It would be ridiculous for me to expect him to be there every time I needed help. He had other responsibilities.

“Your neighbor helped you?”

“Yeah. He saved the day.”

“Cool.” He ate his chow mien while he watched the TV.

I picked at mine, not wanting to eat it. I hated Chinese food but he never remembered. I told him that at least ten times but he either never listened to begin with, or he just didn’t remember. I hated wasting food so I ate it anyway and didn’t complain.

“How’s work?” I asked.

He leaned forward and watched the TV. “Come on, Sandoval.” He clapped his hands and kept his eyes glued to the screen.

This was getting annoying pretty quickly. I leaned back in the sofa and stayed quiet, letting him watch the game. I took out my phone and played
Angry Birds
a few times. I didn’t hate sports but I didn’t like watching them all the time either.

When it finally ended, he finished his beer. “Good game, huh?”

“Yeah.” I was practically falling asleep. “How’s work?”

“Fine. Nothing too interesting.”

His responses were always short. I couldn’t get anything out of him if I tried. “How’s your scrapbooking going?”

Scrapbooking?
“You mean my photography?”

“Yeah.”

I hid my annoyance. “Good. Actually, I have a showcase this weekend.” My excitement grew. “I applied to sell my paintings in this prestigious gallery and they accepted me. My debut is tomorrow night.”

“Cool.” He nodded his head. “Awesome.”

He didn’t seem that impressed. “It’s at seven, so can you pick me up at six?”

He stilled. “Baby, I have to work tomorrow night.”

“What? You just worked your rotation this week.”

He fidgeted with his beer. “I’m covering for a friend. If I had known about your show, I would have said no.”

“Can you get someone else to do it?” I hated to be clingy but this was really important to me. I wanted him to be there.

“It’s too late now. Sorry.”

I sighed, letting the frustration out.

“I’m sorry…I don’t know what else to do.”

I was overreacting. He was a firefighter and had a lot more responsibilities than coming to my art show. People’s lives depended on him. He was an adult and had other obligations. I couldn’t be the center of his world all the time. “No, it’s okay. I understand.”

He relaxed. “I’m sure you’ll do great.”

“Yeah…” Jace had never paid attention to my work. I actually couldn’t recall a piece he’d ever seen.

He left his beer on the coffee table then walked into the bathroom. I was glad he left me alone so I could compose myself. I was being a brat about the whole situation. It bummed me out that he couldn’t always be around, but I knew that when I started dating him. He would work for days at a time and have to stay at the firehouse. I needed to be mature and respect that.

His phone made a noise and the screen lit up. He had a text message.

The message was blocked, but it said the name of the sender.

Sarah.

Who’s Sarah? He didn’t have a sister, and I was certain he didn’t have a friend name Sarah…the paranoia started to sink in. I stared at the phone, wondering if I should take a peek.

No. I wasn’t that kind of girl.

I either trusted him or I didn’t. It was probably someone from work trying to switch shifts or something. I pulled out my phone and played
Angry Birds
, trying to distract my mind. Jace and I were having problems, but he would never cheat on me. He was a good guy and respected me.

He came out of the bathroom then ignored his phone. He changed the channel and started watching TV. I looked up at him, disappointed that his eyes were glued to the screen again.

Was there something wrong with me? Was I boring? Did all relationships turn out this way? Stale and old? Was it just me? Why didn’t we make out on the couch like we used to? Why was the fire between us barely in embers? Was it my fault?

I pondered these questions endlessly while we both watched TV, sitting in different corners with our hands in our laps.

My nana’s face lit up when I walked into the room. “You never come on Saturdays.”

“I know. But I wanted to bring my showcase to you since you can’t come.”

Her eyes softened. “Thank you, dear. I’m so sorry I can’t be there.”

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

“At least Jace will be there.”

I felt the weight on my heart.

Nana caught the look. “Is he not going?”

“He has to work,” I said sadly.

“It seems like that’s all he ever does.” Bitterness hung in her voice.

“I know…but his job is important. He saves lives.”

“And he should live his own life too.”

I didn’t want to make my grandmother upset. “It’s okay. I’m not mad.”

“But you’re sad.”

“He can’t be there for everything.”

“It just seems like he’s never around for anything.”

I opened my bag and handed her the Tupperware. “French toast.”

Her eyes sparkled. “That sounds delicious.”

Food was always a good way to change the subject. I opened my portfolio and handed her the pictures. “These are the ones I’m selling.”

She put on her glasses before she looked at them. She pulled the pictures closer to her face then further way. Silence stretched for minutes. I wasn’t sure if she liked them or hated them.

“These are…magnificent, dear.”

My heart fluttered. “Thanks.”

She examined the one of Payton. “Your sister is such a beautiful girl—both of you are.”

My grandmother said that almost every day. “Yeah, she is.”

“She’s so photogenic too.” Her eyes clouded in adoration. “I have no doubt you’ll be a hit at this showcase.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“I know I’m right.” She handed the photos back to me. “Anything new?”

“Grandpa’s truck almost croaked on me.”

“What happened?”

“I was stupid and I forgot to change the oil.” I rolled my eyes. “Luckily, my neighbor took care of it so I could get to work. He even let me drive his BMW.”

“Wow. He sounds like a gentleman. There aren’t too many around anymore.”

I shrugged. “He has his moments…”

She smirked. “And what does he do in his other moments?”

“He’s just…promiscuous. He prefers one-night stands instead of real relationships.”

“That’s what’s hot right now.” She opened her Tupperware and started to eat.

“Yeah, I guess. There are times when he’s really sweet and real…but then it disappears and he puts this act on. When we first met, he was interesting and fun. And then he turned sleazy and tried to get me into bed. It’s almost like he forces himself to do it…I can’t explain it.”

“Sounds like he’s afraid to be himself.”

“I don’t see why. He’s really smart, cute, and rich.”

“The most successful people tend to be the most insecure.” She finished every bite then set the plastic aside.

“You really don’t know someone until you get past the surface and see what’s deep down inside. This man didn’t have to help you but he did. I think that speaks louder than what he does in his personal life. Don’t judge before you really know him.”

“I wasn’t judging…”

“It seemed like it.”

“I just…I don’t know.” I didn’t want to talk about Ash anymore. I grabbed the book at her bed side. “Shall we continue?”

“Please.” She leaned back and listened to me.

I read for half an hour before my throat started to run dry. “I should go. I still need to get ready.”

“Break a leg, kid.” She grabbed my face and kissed my cheek. “Make sure you tell me how it goes.”

“I’ll give you every detail.”

“Payton is going, right?”

“Definitely. She wants to see how much her image is worth.” I rolled my eyes. “You know her.”

She laughed. “I do.”

“Bye, Nana.”

“Bye, dear.”

I walked out then headed to the elevator. The hospital was much calmer on the weekend. People weren’t visiting their loved ones as often. Instead, they were enjoying the beautiful weather. I hit the button and waited for the doors to open.

When the door finally opened, I felt my heart move into my throat.

Ash was staring back at me, a wrapped gift under his arm. He was wearing jeans and a dark green t-shirt. It brought out his artic blue eyes. I never noticed their color before. There was faint stubble on his chin like he hadn’t shaved in a few days. I noticed details about him that I never paid attention to before.

He stepped out and kept staring at me. “Are you following me?” The humor was in his eyes.

“I was here first, so technically, you’re following me.”

“Touché.”

“Why aren’t you wearing your scrubs?”

“Oh.” He quickly glanced at himself. “I don’t have rotations this week. But I wanted to stop by and see my patient. I brought her a gift to cheer her up.”

My eyes softened. I never expected him to take time out of his day just to bring his patient a gift. That was…really sweet. Maybe I didn’t know Ash at all. Maybe I judged him too quickly. “Why don’t you have rotations?”

He shifted his weight and averted his gaze. “We usually take a break during exams.”

“Oh.” I examined the small package. “What did you get for your patient?”

He held it up. “A kindle. She loves to read so I thought this would be good for her. I got her an Amazon gift card too so she cqn download as many books as she wants. I have a feeling she reads the same thing over and over again.” A smile stretched his lips.

Was this the same guy I first met? He was thoughtful and sweet…a direct contradiction to what he normally was. He brought girls back to his apartment then kicked them out without even a kiss on the cheek. He was a jerk and used women. But then he could be thoughtful. “That was really nice of you.”

He shrugged. “I do what I can. Sometimes medicine can only go so far.”

“Yeah…” I looked into his eyes, seeing the color of the ocean.

“And why are you here?”

“I was visiting my nana.”

“Oh.” Sadness came into his eyes. “I hope she’s okay.”

“Yeah,” I said quickly. “She’ll be fine. It’s nothing too serious.”

He didn’t ask for details. “I’m glad to hear it.”

“Well, I should probably go.” I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, suddenly feeling nervous.

“Me too.” He stepped around me. “Wait. How’s your truck?”

“It’s running good. I haven’t had any problems.”

“Good. But I really think you should upgrade.”

“Never. I’ll drive that thing until I can’t afford to fix it.”

“Why are you so attached to this truck?” he asked. He stared at my face, his eyes lingering on mine. He used to check out my ass and chest whenever he looked at me, but he stopped doing that. Now he always looked at my face, his eyes never wandering.

“It was my grandfather’s.”

He nodded slowly. “So it has sentimental value to you?”

“It was his first vehicle when he came to the United States from Chile. I can never get rid of it.”

“You’re Chilean?” He seemed interested.

“Yeah.”

He kept staring into my eyes. “Well, I’m glad we could save your truck before anything permanent happened.”

“Yeah, that makes two of us.”

He stepped away. “I guess I’ll see you later, then.”

“Yeah.” I needed to head home and get ready, but I was distracted talking to Ash. “I’ll see you around.”

He headed down the hallway as I stepped inside the elevator. When I waited for the doors to close, I stared at his back, noticing the muscles of his shoulders and arms. I’d never noticed them before.

When the doors were closed, the image was burned into my mind.