Tug of Attraction (18 page)

“No!” She coughed and then schooled her expression, realizing she hadn’t told him yet.

He set the teapot down and slid onto the bench beside her. His concern was apparent. He rubbed her back in comforting circles. “Tell me. Whatever it is, I’ll try to help.”

She shook her head. “That’s just it. You can’t. You already did everything I asked you to do.”
And more.

He leaned away and studied her face. “I don’t follow.”

“I’m pregnant,” she said matter-of-factly.

He stared in shock for a moment, and then broke into an ear to ear grin. “That’s great!”

She smiled weakly and her watery gaze fell to her lap.

After a long pause, he said, “That’s what you wanted. Isn’t it?”

She took a deep breath. That
was
what she wanted. Now she was as confused as he seemed to be. She tried to stand, but the table and Ethan were blocking her.

“I—I just wanted you to know. I should leave now.”

“What?” He didn’t move.

“Please let me out.”

“Hell no. Sit your ass down and tell me why you’re not jumping for joy.”

“I—I can’t.”

“What do you mean, you ‘can’t. You mean you
won’t.”
His tone was agitated.

She considered climbing over the table, but wasn’t about to behave that immaturely. She faced him squarely. “I said I can’t, because I can’t. I don’t know why I’m reacting this way. Yes, I’m thrilled. But I’m also...”

“Also, what?” he prompted.

“I don’t know.”

“Yes you do. The answer is in there somewhere.” He tapped her on the forehead. “Try.”

She hung her head and barely whispered. “I’m going to miss you.”

He chuckled. “No, you’re not.”

Her gaze shot to his cocky expression. “You asked and I told you the truth. What more do you want?”

He tipped up her chin with his finger and looked into her eyes. “You aren’t going to miss me, because I’m not going anywhere.”

“That’s not what I meant. Now that the mission has been accomplished, I need to honor my word and let you get back to your life. I know we’ll see each other at full moons and Sabbats...”

“That’s not what I meant either. I don’t want my old life back. I want this new life—the one with you in it.”

“But that’s not what we agreed to.”

“Brigit. We never signed that contract. Even so, the last thing I remember was agreeing that we could reevaluate it, if things changed between us.”

“I thought you were just being—you.”

“Um, yeah. I’m not sure what you mean by that, but I seem predisposed to being me—whatever ‘me’ is.”

“You. Your kind, responsible, caring, selfless...self.”

He laughed. “Oh, I’m plenty selfish. But I’m willing to share you with one other person.”

“Huh?”

“Our baby.”

“You mean
my
baby.”

“Damn it, Brigit. No. It’s
our
baby. Half your DNA and half my DNA. Yours
and
mine.”

She opened her mouth about to protest, although she didn’t know what she was going to say. He swooped in and kissed her. His lips were hard at first, then gentled as if he remembered to treat her like a china doll. Well, she was tired of guys acting as if she might break or drifting away when they realized they weren’t going to get the wild monkey loving they wanted from her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave into the passion she’d been hiding for so long. She angled her head and deepened the kiss—delving into his mouth with her tongue and sucking on his.

A moan deep in the back of his throat escaped and he yanked her so close to his side that a piece of paper wouldn’t fit between them. She managed to roll, avoid getting trapped by the table, and climb onto his lap, straddling him.

They kissed so long and so hard she was forgetting to breathe. He broke the kiss, and then he nibbled on the column of her neck. The dizziness remained, so maybe lack of oxygen wasn’t to blame. Something in the back of her mind was trying to break through the pleasant fog.

She had been sad. Why? The pregnancy crashed through her consciousness.
Saying goodbye to Ethan.
How could she give him up? He was like a drug and she was thoroughly addicted. But just like a drug, that addiction would ruin his life. Their lives. He would come to resent her and the baby for ending his bachelorhood. She had to stop this before it went any farther.

She let go of his neck and leaned away. When he tried to bend toward her, she pushed at his chest. “Stop.”

He straightened and looked confused. “Why? Are you uncomfortable? I have a bed about ten steps from here.” He grinned. “Five if I carry you.”

She groaned. “It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

She took a deep breath and spit it out. “I will
not
be accused of trapping a happy bachelor into marriage.”

His look of confusion softened. Then he smiled. “I haven’t asked you to marry me, Bridge.”

Reality slammed into her and she felt like an idiot. “No. You haven’t—but I know you. I think there’s a ‘yet’ following your statement.”

He stroked her arms, almost as if he were comforting a child. “You may think you know me, but the truth is we’ve only been dating for a few weeks. That’s too short a time to consider anything permanent. When I said I wasn’t going anywhere, I meant I wanted to continue as we have been. I’d like to see where it leads—organically. Wouldn’t you always wonder if you didn’t see it through?”

He wasn’t asking for anything more than time. But could she afford that? “Wouldn’t breaking up just hurt more later?”

“Not unless one of us wanted to end it and the other one didn’t. Of course, that sounds like what you want to do now—except to be honest, neither of us want to end it, so we’d both be hurting.”

“You make it sound so logical.”

He laughed. “There’s nothing logical about love, Brigit. We might find some wisdom along the way, but right now I don’t feel like being logical.”

“Oh yeah? What do you feel like doing?”

He slid to the end of the bench with Brigit still on his lap. Then he swiveled free of the table, and at the same time he scooped his hands under her bottom. When he rose, she wrapped her arms and legs around him and giggled.

Without another word, he carried her to his small cabin and laid her on his bed. He covered her body with his and went to work on the buttons of her blouse. She stared into his blue eyes and saw a simmering heat in them. His hands were purposeful and determined as he divested her of her clothes. She pulled at his sweater, and before he got trapped in it he whipped it off over his head along with his t-shirt. Then he stripped off the jeans and boxer-briefs he’d been wearing.

Brigit wondered what his mouth would feel like on her more tender breasts. She didn’t have to wait long to find out. He slid his hand under her bra and popped the snaps as if he’d done it a thousand times. Maybe he had. She felt a stab of jealousy for all those who’d known him before, and she hadn’t expected it. The thought fled as soon as he laved her nipple and sucked it into his mouth. She arched and moaned with the incredible sensations coursing through her.

He was hers for the time being.
All hers.
And she made up her mind to enjoy the romantic man he had tried to be. The man he really was.

He caressed her other breast while he suckled the first one, then switched sides. She gasped when he pulled her nipples and areolas into his mouth with more suction.

He lifted his head and grinned. “You like that, do you?”

“Yes. I’m afraid I like it a little too much.”

“No such thing,” he said and was about to make the same move when she stopped him with a palm to his forehead.

“I’m sorry. I’m a little sensitive right now.”

“Oh.” He smiled, sympathetically. “Pity. I guess I’ll have to move on to less sensitive parts.” He kissed is way down her torso, giving a little lick to her bellybutton. “Hello in there,” he whispered.

Brigit heard him. The sweetness of his gesture warred with her sure knowledge that this relationship was doomed. She was tempted to cry, but held back. When he reached her most intimate part, she had decided to stop thinking and just lose herself in the moment.

She hadn’t intended to climax, but the moment was on her before she could say, ‘stop,’ and then it was too late. She arched and let out a cry of sheer ecstasy, followed by a shriek of pain.

Ethan must have sensed the difference and raised his head.

“Stop,” she whimpered.

He was beside her in a second. She rolled onto her side away from him and curled into a fetal position. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes involuntarily, but she didn’t want him to see them. It wasn’t
his
fault. It wasn’t hers either. It was just dumb luck that she had this stupid disease.

He rubbed her back in slow, gentle circles. “Are you okay?”

She took a deep breath and steadied her voice. “I will be.” The pain was subsiding, but it was still there. She had heard of women who had severe cases where the pain lasted for a day or even two. She prayed to the Goddess that it never got that bad.

“I thought pregnancy was supposed to help,” he reminded her.

“Not immediately. As the womb expands it eases the...” She realized he didn’t need the details. He was probably just being polite. “Never mind.”

“No. Tell me. I want to understand.”

“You don’t need to. You’ve done your part and now you can go back to normal women who don’t have this problem.”

“What?” He turned her face toward him and looked at her incredulously.

“This is it. I can’t give you what you want and need. I’m sorry. Someday you’ll thank me.” She rolled onto her back and tried to push herself up.

He leaned over her with one hand on either side, trapping her body. Just as well. She could barely hide the wince that came with the effort.

“Brigit. I don’t know what idiots have told you in the past, but I hope you’re not confusing me with them.”

“Nobody said anything. I always tried to explain the situation before it got to the bedroom. That’s usually when they stopped calling.”

Ethan let out a sound of disgust. “No wonder you think men are scum.”

Her eyes rounded. “I don’t think men are scum. I just know they have needs I can’t fulfill the normal way. If they’re going to leave anyway, it’s better sooner rather than later. I don’t blame them. I learned the hard way to be honest about it.”

“What do you mean by ‘the hard way?’”

“I don’t like being cheated on,” she said, sounding bitter without intending to.

He shook his head slowly. “Neither do I. I told you that as long as we’re together I won’t see anyone else. I don’t want to.” He swept some hair away from her face. “I love you. I’m not going anywhere. I can’t promise forever yet, but this condition of yours is
not
the reason why.”

“But, you’ll get bored.”

“No, I won’t.”

“Men don’t want to be gentle all the time.”

“I don’t mind being gentle. Don’t mind a bit.”

“What about—”

He silenced her with a long, tender kiss.

When he finally let her speak, she smiled. “I was going to mention that there are other ways I can satisfy you without involving anything other than my hands and mouth.” She winked.

“You’d do that?”

“I never wanted to before, but I do now—for you. I just need a little recovery time.”

“I’m going to pray to the cell phone Gods that the damn thing leaves us alone for the rest of the day.”

B
rigit could hardly wait to share her good news with her boss and coworkers. They didn’t know about her arrangement with Ethan, of course, and she’d keep it that way, but she’d let them know how thrilled she was to finally have life growing inside her.

She poked her head around the open door of her supervisor’s office. “Can I talk to you for a moment, Carolyn?”

“Sure Brigit. Come on in.”

She strode into the small office and sat in the seat adjacent to the woman’s desk. Receiving a warm smile, she figured it was a good time to share her news.

“I’m pregnant!” she said, excitedly.

Her supervisor’s face fell. A mumbled ‘Oh no,’ caused a ripple of panic to travel up Brigit’s spine. Then she realized her unmarried status might be the reason for her boss’s concern.

“It’s a good thing, Carolyn. I want this baby. Single moms with good support systems are doing it all the time—”

Her boss raised a hand to stop her from continuing. “It’s not that. I’m sure you’ll make an excellent mother. Anyone can see that from the way you care for the animals here.”

Brigit tipped her head. “Then what’s the problem?”

“Toxoplasmosis. You know what that is, right?”

“Yes. I know the risk, but I can limit my exposure to cat feces.”

“How? Almost half the cats who come in here are a mess. Many are litterbox trained, but that doesn’t matter. You’re not supposed to clean litter, either. Are you going to ask the vet to clean them up?”

“Of course not. I’ll wear gloves...”

Carolyn shook her head slowly. “Not good enough. I don’t want to take the chance that some kind of birth defect could result from your working here. Think of the health of your child.”

Brigit’s jaw dropped. How could anyone insinuate that she would do anything to harm her precious child! Not only that, but it sounded like she was losing her job. How would she take care of the baby? She didn’t want to rely on her parent’s charity any more than she already had. “But...but, there must be a way. I can’t afford to be unemployed.”

“There is a way we can help. You can be laid-off instead of fired. Then you can collect unemployment compensation until you find a more suitable job.”

She gasped. “Fired? You’d actually fire me?”

“I don’t want to. You’ve been a wonderful employee. But we can’t let you work with the animals anymore, and there’s no desk position to give you.”

“So that’s it? Shouldn’t I give a two-week notice?”

“Nope. You’re done.”  She pulled over a file box. “Maybe the volunteers can increase their hours...”

Brigit had never cried at work and didn’t want to start now. But the lump in her throat and the burning behind her eyes made it clear she was going to, if she didn’t do something soon. “I—I need to use the ladies room. I’ll think about your offer and touch base with you when I get back.”