Tug of Attraction (17 page)

“I’m sorry, Raven. It’s not that I don’t trust you...”

He set his empty whiskey glass on the coffee table. “But you don’t trust me.”

“It’s not up to me. I’m taking a chance simply by letting you know it exists. In time, I hope all of my coven members will be deemed ready to join those who are using the powers they received from the object.”

“And who are they?”

“The supernatural coven. We have been the keepers of the artifact since the Druids entrusted us with it.”

“And now it’s lost, and none of you can find it?”

“That’s correct.”
Every time somebody says it, I feel like an idiot.

* * * *

B
rigit and Ethan curled up on the rug in front of the fire. Ethan would have liked to have built it, putting his Boy Scout knowledge to use, but he understood the safety issue. They were probably lucky to get a gas fireplace.

To his surprise Brigit snuggled into him. He wrapped an arm around her and wondered if her heart was thawing.

“So, I guess I’m doing something right.”

She tipped her face up and studied him. “What do you mean?”

“You didn’t scream in pain.”

“Oh, that.” She smiled. “Yes, you did great. I just hope it works this time.”

She seemed so anxious. Was it only about having a baby? “Getting sick of me so soon?”

“Of course not.” She seemed offended. Then she sighed. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, but I’ve been putting it off.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“Since this could take a while—like six months to a year...” Her expression immediately turned to worry. “Do you think you can hang in that long?”

He couldn’t help being surprised. He thought
she
was the one who was troubled about having him around for a while. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Her gaze fell to her lap. “Well, you said you didn’t want to see other women during the time you’re with me. I imagine you’ll miss having an actual satisfying sex life. It—it’s okay if you want to date other women.”

“What?” He leaned away and tipped her face up with a finger under her chin. “Look at me.”

She seemed reluctant to do so but eventually focused on his face.

“I love you, Brigit. And not only as a friend. I don’t want other women.”

Her jaw dropped and she just stared at him.

“I’ll hang in for as long as you’ll let me and deal with a broken heart later, if I have to.” Just for good measure, he held her eyes and said it again. “I love you.”

Her eyes rounded. “Um...I—I don’t know how to respond.”

“Well, there are a couple of options. You can say you feel good or bad about it. No, wait. There’s a third option.”
And it’s the worst of all.
“You could feel totally indifferent.”

She shook her head. “Well, it’s none of those.” Looking up at him, there was something like hope in her expression. “Is feeling confused okay for now?”

“If it’s the truth.”

She was silent for several seconds. He wasn’t going to bail her out by filling the silence. He’d let her mull over his confession for as long as she needed to, but eventually he’d want an answer.

She leaned into him again. “Oh, Ethan...”

“Oh, Ethan, what?”

“I was afraid to...I thought you’d leave me because of my condition, but maybe you won’t. I love you too.” She said it so softly he wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly.

“Did you say you love me too?”

She nodded and gulped. “I thought
I’d
be the one with the broken heart.”

“Jesus.” He laughed. “I thought you barely liked me.”

She twined her fingers with his. “I always liked you—a lot. I couldn’t do this with you if I didn’t. But at some point I fell for you. I tried not to.
Really
tried. But it happened anyway.”

He cupped her face, and kissed her tenderly.

Sometime later, they found themselves stretched out on the floor. “Want to try again?” he asked.

She grinned. “Absolutely.”

A
week after their mini vacation, Brigit stopped by the tug boat office.

She missed him and was still wondering if he’d had a Thanksgiving dinner. She’d stopped by his house with a plate of leftovers the following morning, but Charlotte appeared in the window and shook her head, meaning that he wasn’t home. With no family around she thought he might have been lonely, but he’d told her he had an invitation to a friend’s house. 

Her own family had a nice holiday with her sister and nephew visiting from Nashua and her brother from Vermont. She’d never have brought Ethan into the family celebration, but at least she stopped by his place as soon as she could. Somehow that didn’t feel like quite enough.

On the off chance he was down at the dock, she swung by there. Unfortunately the Mary Sue wasn’t moored in its usual spot, which meant he was out on a job. The days were getting colder and she wondered how often he had to go out in the winter weather.

She stepped into the office to leave him a note and smelled something wonderful. Glancing at the manager’s desk, she spotted the reason.
Ohhh...a  muffin
. She smelled pumpkin and spice and was suddenly reminded of the pumpkin pie cupcakes April had made for their Samahin celebration. Her mouth watered and she
had
to have one.

Remembering where the bakery was, she figured her trip to Portsmouth wouldn’t be a bust after all. She could visit with April and Rebecca—and hopefully enjoy one of those cupcakes.

By the time she reached the bakery, she’d talked herself into buying a whole box full of them and sharing a few with Ethan later. If he was still out, she’d leave them on his doorstep with a note and take the rest home to savor one at a time for week or so.
Oh, who am I kidding? They’ll never last.
She chuckled to herself.

A few minutes and eight short blocks later, she found herself in front of the bakery. It looked good. The white trim on the front door and windows seemed to be freshly painted and the lettering appeared sharper too. She noticed the ‘A’ in bakery was made by the Triquetra symbol.
Cute.

Breezing in, she intended to tell Rebecca how wonderful the place looked, until the fragrances of yeast and cinnamon overwhelmed her and rooted her to the spot. April looked up from the display case. 

“Hey, Brigit...It’s Brigit, right?”

“Yes. Hi, April. Are you by yourself today?”

“No. Rebecca is in the back. Do you want me to get her?”

“Don’t interrupt her if she’s busy.” Brigit scanned the case and didn’t see what she was looking for. “I was actually hoping you’d have some of those pumpkin pie cupcakes you brought to the Samhain ritual.”

“Oh, those are great, aren’t they?”

“Yeah. I smelled some guy’s pumpkin muffin this morning and had this overwhelming craving...” As she said the word craving, she was struck by a sudden thought. 
What if?
She talked herself out of it immediately, so as not to become disappointed if it wasn’t a true pregnancy craving.

April didn’t seem to notice. She simply shrugged. “Sorry. We don’t make them after Thanksgiving unless we have a special request. I can make some...”

“Oh, that’s okay. I knew I was taking a chance...”

“Would you like a bear claw? They came out of the oven about fifteen minutes ago.”

Nothing would satisfy the craving besides pumpkin, and Brigit tried to hide her disappointment. “Nah. I’ll just have to order a dozen and come back for them. How long do they take to make?”

April grinned. “I can have some for you in a couple of hours depending on what else Rebecca has planned. Let me check with her.”

As April strolled through the saloon-type door to the kitchen, Brigit looked at the contents of the cabinet more thoroughly. She hoped to find
something
that would take the place of pumpkin, but nothing appealed.

April returned a couple of minutes later with Rebecca in tow. The happy baker set down a tray of pastries on the counter and strolled around the case to give Brigit a hug. “How are you, sweetie? April said you were out here.”

“I’m dandy. Thinking about ordering those pumpkin pie cupcakes from you, though.”

“I heard. We can do that for you. When do you need them?”

Brigit chuckled. “Ten minutes ago.”

“Awww. I’m sorry. Usually I’m pretty good at predicting who’s coming by and what they’ll want, but I got no pumpkin vibes this morning.”

“Really? You can do that?”

Rebecca grinned and winked at April, who grabbed the tray on the counter and placed a pastry on a paper plate. “These are Ethan’s favorites,” April said.

Brigit’s eyebrows shot up.

Maybe because of the look on her face, April asked. “Or do you call him Aubrey?”

Something zinged through her at the mention of her lover. Real name or witch name didn’t matter. Was he coming here? Is that why they’d made his favorites? Or did
all
of the witches know about the two of them being together?

April waved the pastry under Brigit’s nose and said, “Have one—on the house.”

“Oh, no. I couldn’t...” She was unable to finish her thought as a wave of nausea swamped her. Her forehead broke out in a cold sweat and she held her stomach. Suddenly, she knew she was going to hurl, so she turned on her heel and dashed out the front door. She only made it to the top step and had to lean over the railing to barf into the bushes.

Rebecca and April followed her outside and placed their hands under her elbows as if she might fall. “Are you okay?” April asked.

“I’m fine.’ A woman walking by crossed the street. “Sorry. I should leave before I give you guys a bad reputation.”

Rebecca chuckled. “Don’t even think about it. Come upstairs and lie down.”

“No. I’m fine now, and I don’t want to be any trouble.”

“You’re no trouble.”

April opened the door wide and Rebecca smiled. “I think I know what’s wrong with you.”

Brigit’s eyes widened. “You do?”

“Come upstairs,” she said and motioned for her to follow. “April can hold the fort for a while.”

“But the bushes...”

“Needed watering anyway,” April said with a grin.

“You guys are incredible,” she muttered. But she obediently followed Rebecca up the back stairs to her apartment. Happily there were no strong odors there, good or bad.

Rebecca led her through the small kitchen and dining room to the living room and said, “Lie down on the couch. I’ll be right back.”

Brigit felt silly. She was perfectly fine now. She didn’t know what had come over her, but it must have been something she had eaten earlier. Maybe the eggs in her refrigerator were past their expiration date.

When Rebecca returned she was holding a long, thin package.

“What’s that?”

“A pregnancy test.”

Brigit laughed. “No. I don’t need that.”

Rebecca tipped her head and the expression on her face practically asked,
Oh no?
out loud.

“Not yet, anyway,” she added sheepishly.

“Look. I had a quickie in the shower with Dru a while back, and thought I was late about a month later. I got my period before I had a chance to use it. I bought a whole box. Please. Someone should use them before they expire.”

Brigit looked at the package as if it were the broccoli her mother always made her eat.

Rebecca simply held the package out to her. “Have your breasts been tender? Have you been feeling a little tired lately?”

Brigit took it. “Okay, okay. Fine.”

She started to tuck it into her satchel, but Rebecca shook her head. “The bathroom is right down the hall.”

“What? You want me to do this now?”

“Yup.” Rebecca grinned.

Brigit thought she was mumbling under her breath. “Fuck me...”

Rebecca laughed. “I think someone already did.”

Okay. She said, ‘someone’ so she might not know about Ethan and me.
It was still important that the baby’s father’s identity remain a secret. She wasn’t about to be accused of ‘trapping’ a happy bachelor into marriage.

A few minutes later, Brigit walked out of her friends’ bathroom with a positive pregnancy test in hand. Part of her was afraid it might be a false positive and wouldn’t let her celebrate prematurely. The other part knew it was true and was leaping around excitedly in her head.

Rebecca didn’t even check the results—apparently the look on Brigit’s face was enough. She jumped into the air, whooped, and then pulled her into a bear hug.

* * * *

B
rigit wandered back to the tug boat terminal in a fog.
Pregnant! So soon
. She should be running around the streets shouting the good news. That meant she wasn’t sterile. That meant she was going to be a mother next September. 

That means telling Ethan I don’t need him anymore.
That’s what the confusion was about. She would miss him.
Really
miss him.

She almost hoped he was still on a job, but there was the Mary Sue...and Ethan, standing on her deck.

He spotted her and grinned. She gave him a halfhearted smile and wave. His face fell and he quickly strode down the gangplank to open the gate and let her in.

“What’s wrong?”

Her lip quivered, and she surprised them both when she burst into tears.

“Whoa.” He hugged her, and then quickly placed his hand at the small of her back and escorted her to his boat. “Come aboard. I’ll make you some tea and you can tell me all about it.”

“There’s not much to tell,” she said. “I feel foolish for bursting into tears. It’s nothing bad.”
For you
, she realized. Now he could get back to his normal life—dating another long string of lovely ladies who would adore his attention. She was so busy pushing him away, she had barely begun to let herself enjoy his thoughtful attentive nature. His kindness. His love.

What would he say?

Part of her hoped he’d be happy, and another part hoped he would miss her like she knew she was going to miss him.

He waited until she was settled on the bench seat in the ship’s kitchen, then pulled a tea kettle from a cabinet and began filling it with water. He glanced over his shoulder at her. “Maybe I should have offered you something stronger?”