Tied Up In Heartstrings (12 page)

Shit, I understand that. This girl is making me feel things…more and more. She’s making me want to be a person I’ve never imagined being, one worthy of a girl like this. A family man?

I’m frustrated. I didn’t expect for some of the people closest to us to gather under one roof and for it to feel…well, right. Everyone was chatting and having a great time like it was always supposed to be this way. I thought having Jason & Kate over would give me a little bit of security and guard my heart from falling too quickly. But it backfired. They like him a lot and are pushing me to pursue whatever this could be.

Then there’s Sierra… All night she would watch him carefully. She danced and sang with him. I almost lost it when she asked him to hold her when she got sleepy. I’ve never seen her do that with
anyone
. She’s clung to him very quickly, and I’m not sure why that is. I expected that they would be fast friends, that’s just her nature, but I never expected her to seek his attention and affection when she needed comfort. I’m not really sure what to do with that.

“Sweetheart, I get it. I didn’t expect to see you last week at the beach. I didn’t expect the feelings I had for you years ago to come roaring back to life, like they never died. I never expected you to have any interest in a guy like me.
Lex, I’m confused, too, but damn, babe, do you think this kind of stuff happens to everyone? Hell no! We’re lucky and we need to take advantage of this opportunity. You two girls are very special ladies, and you’ve quickly come to mean an awful lot to me. For the record, I would absolutely try to hang the moon if that little girl asked me to do it,” he says to me with a wink and a crooked grin.

He’s holding me in his lap. I’m not really sure why he feels the need to carry me and hold me so much, but since I like it, I’m not going to complain. It’s been a hard day and the evening was best described as emotional. I’m exhausted. I lean back and lay my head on Garrett’s shoulder. He adjusts me so that I’m lying in his lap. He leans down, kisses my forehead lingering a few extra seconds, and then reaches down to slip off my shoes.

I sense his desperation to move on from our conversation about what’s happening with us. We’re not prepared for what’s going on, so leaving it for now seems a good choice. Garrett asks me about my day, wanting to know what happened at the parent/teacher conference. I tell him what the teachers said about Sierra being a great kid and her needing clearer boundaries, that and she can sometimes be a bit sassy to the teachers and other children. He laughs and says she’s probably being honest, and they don’t want to hear it!

We sit like this for a while relaxing and talking. He’s going back to Nashville in a few weeks for a charity benefit performance. I would love to see him perform live. I’ve seen the videos on YouTube, but never live.

I tell him, “I want to see you perform, Garrett.”

He looks at me with a little sparkle in his eye. I watch him as his eyes go glassy and lust filled. “Babe, I want to perform for you, but this performance is going to be a private one,” he says.

He lifts me off the couch and starts walking towards the stairs up to my bedroom. We reach my bedroom and he lays me on the bed, looking me in the eye. “You’re going to have to drive again, babe. Tell me what you want, Lex,” he says with a bit of desperation.

“Garrett, I want you and me,” I say because it’s true. He’s making me want things I didn’t think I would ever have. I can envision a family life to include this man. I never knew I could feel this close intimately and emotionally with anyone.

I sit up and he unzips my dress. I reach to lift his shirt over his head. He has an incredible body. I could touch and rub his upper body and arms all day and be content. He’s lying on the bed beside me. I feel a little shiver travel up my spine. He pushes the dress down my body and I lift my hips, so he can slide it all the way off. I’m wearing just my bra and panties, and he’s only wearing his jeans. He’s deliciously sexy. He kisses me with all the intensity that we’re both feeling. I could fall apart with just his kisses. His lips are made for kissing. His fingers glide up my body, reaching for the clasp of my bra to take it off. He pauses looking me in the eye for confirmation. I give a little nod and before my next breath it’s off, floating towards the floor.

He leans in and licks, then kisses my neck and chest, like he’s been craving this all day. His hand is caressing my stomach and heading south to the place I want it to be. I reach over and unbutton his jeans, reaching into them.

He stops caressing me, raising his gaze to mine. “Lex,” he gasps, “you don’t have to go there, baby. I like making you feel good. That wasn’t my goal in bringing you up here tonight.”

It makes me happy that he doesn’t have any expectations from me, but I do want this with him. I want to feel closer to him, because at this point, I can’t get close enough. “I want this, Garrett. Please.” He reaches down and helps me slide his jeans down his legs. He’s not wearing underwear. Damn, that’s hot.

“Commando?” I ask, looking with smirk.

“Yeah, babe, we didn’t need any more layers of material between us. I wanted to be as close to you and your cute little ass as possible if you ended up sitting in my lap, but damn, I didn’t expect this.”

He’s very well endowed and rock hard. I’m a bit intimidated by his size. It’s been a while for me. My hand is gliding up and down his length. “Babe, we can just touch,” sucking in a breath, between his clenched teeth, “it doesn’t have to go any further until you’re ready. You look scared.”

I look at his eyes and see the concern. “It’s just been a while, and you’re larger than I imagined.” He smirks at my comment, sits up, so that I’m tucked under him. He’s holding all his weight, so that he doesn’t crush me. He is completely naked and I’m wearing just my panties.

“Baby, I don’t want to hurt you. I want to cherish your body. Can you trust me?” he hesitantly asks.

“YES…please.” 

He reaches down, but his eyes don’t stray from mine. He draws my panties down my legs, all the way off, and touches me on the part of my body that has been desperate for his touch.

“You’re wet, babe. Have you been wanting me to touch this little thing?” he asks, as he rubs his finger back and forth between the lips and up to my clit. “

Umm…yes…please
?!” I’m begging not only with my words, but my body is reacting vigorously to his touch. His cock is twitching between my legs, occasionally making contact with my center. It’s making the intensity even stronger. I feel like I’m about to explode into a million pieces when he starts sliding himself down the bed, kissing his way down my body.

“I know, sweetheart, I’m going to take care of it,” he says when his head is hovering between my legs. The moment his tongue touches me, I feel myself flying off the bed. He gently holds my hips in down and continues on his mission.

“OKAY, Garrett. Please, come back up here,” I plead, desperate to feel his cock inside me. I don’t care about the discomfort. I want him. “After, babe, let go. Let me see you come under my tongue.” And with those words, I do. I fall apart into a million pieces.

He lets the spasms subside, and then
slides his way back up my body and places his cock at my opening. “Lex, look at me, sweetheart. Are you sure you want to do this?” he asks.

“Yes, Garrett. You promised me a performance, now give it to me, damn it.”

He laughs, reaching into the back pocket of his jeans and pulling a condom out of his wallet. “Eager to please, Babe!”

Before he unwraps the foil, I say “Garrett, I have the implant, if that’s what you’re worried about.” I’m trusting that if he feels the need to use the condom here he’ll do so. Garrett wouldn’t intentionally put me in harms way. He looks from me to the foil packet, and then tosses it over his head.

He slowly slides into my folds. I feel myself stretching as he glides in. He stops half way to give me a few seconds to adjust before he slides in a little more. He’s not nearly all the way in and I already feel very full. He’s watching me, making sure I’m okay. His eyes are full of passion, but there’s concern, also. He really doesn’t want to hurt me, or scare me. But I’m neither. I want more. I want to feel all of him.

I moan, “Please, Garret, I want all of you.”

His breath catches. “Alexis, you have all of me, sweetheart. You own me,” he gasps, as he slides his full length into me.

My body accepts him easily. We are connected in a way I never imagined. My emotions are overflowing with fear and passion. This connection is foreign. I want more, yet I worry that giving more of me and taking more of him will break me. My emotions are already so wrapped up in this man, as is evident by the sheer number of times he has brought me to tears in the last week.

We make love slowly. He whispers in my ear, “You’re so beautiful, Alexis. This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt, and I’m not just talking about making love to you, sweetheart.” I understand, because I feel it, too. “I’m getting close, sweetheart. I want to go together. Come for me, Alexis,” he commands, and with his words I feel the explosion building. He’s in and out, in and that’s it. I squeeze my thighs around his hips as I explode, gripping his arms tightly. Tears are welling in my eyes. Not sad tears, just an overflow of emotions that release with my amazing orgasm. He leans down and kisses every tear that trickles from my eyes off my face.

I want to erase all these tears off this girl’s face, so I gently kiss them away. It wrecks me to see her cry. I would give anything in the world to kiss them away permanently. I’m not sure if these are the good kind of tears or the bad ones, but the amount of stress it causes me to figure it out is huge. I want to get rid of them quickly.

“Baby, I’m not sure I like tears on your beautiful face. Good kind or bad kind, they both worry me. Tell me what you’re thinking ‘cause I’m a little scared I hurt you.”

She shakes her head. “I’m perfect, Garrett. Don’t worry.”

Rubbing her cheek with a sense of amazement I declare, “You are, sweetheart! You’re perfect, even when you cry.”

She shakes her head. “You’re eye’s aren’t working, ace. I need to shower… Care to join me? Looks like you need one, as well,” she observes with a decidedly satisfied smirk.

I pick her up and carry her to the large bathroom with an open shower. We don’t speak as I place her on her feet on the ground next to the shower. I turn on the water and wait a minute, massaging her neck as the water warms up. We step into the shower, I put her directly under the water stream, and then I begin to wash her with the soap and sponge.

Making love to her wasn’t what I expected tonight. I really wasn’t sure what to expect two hours ago. I thought for sure she was about to send me out the door, along with everyone else tonight.

“
Lex, I need to tell you. What just happened, I feel pretty confident, has changed the course of my life. Baby, I’m not sure it gets much better than that!”

She looks up at me and laughs...hallelujah…she is smiling again!

“So, it wasn’t just me? It was pretty good, right?” she asks with a hint of uncertainty.

“Babe, that was fucking fantastic…not pretty good! It wasn’t just you, sweetheart. But I can’t wait to do it again with just you.”

We both rinse off and exit the shower. “Garrett, I don’t really know what we are. I’m afraid to put a label on it, but will you please not do what you just did with me, with anyone else while we’re together?”

What the hell is wrong with this girl? “
Lex, are you shitting me right now? Do you really think that’s the kind of guy I am? Babe, ONLY YOU! Got it? I want just you!” I’m kind of pissed she asked me that. She really has no clue about my life these days. I realize I haven’t been forthcoming with information about my work and life, but seriously, I’ve clearly been consumed with her since that first night at the beach. 

I hate the damn girls that flock toward the musicians on the road. Those chicks just want to say they banged a rock star. They really don’t care who it is. They’re nasty, and I’ve never had any interest in them. I guess it’s something she wouldn’t know, or understand, unless she’d been on the road with us. Maybe she needs to come to a couple shows and see how things roll. She needs to meet the rest of the guys, too. I’ll have to work on that.

Right now, I need to work on getting her back into bed. I wrap her in a big fluffy towel I found rolled up in a basket by the shower. I wrap another around my waist. She goes to the wardrobe and dresses in a skimpy pair of orange panties and a plain white tank top. Growling, I declare, “Lady, you better climb your hot little ass into that bed and cover up quick, before I make you dirty all over again.”

She runs to the bed and climbs in fast pulling the covers up to her chin, “I feel like Little Red Riding Hood.”

“You should, babe, because right now I feel like the Big Bad Wolf.” She slides all the way over, making room for me in her bed. I start putting my clothes on.

“Garrett, are you leaving?”
Her voices quivers on the last syllable.

It wouldn’t be my first choice, but I’m not exactly sure climbing in bed with her is the best decision either. “What would you like me to do, sweetheart?” I ask.

“I would like you to hold me. I’ll set the alarm on my phone, so we can wake up before Sierra. Will you stay?”

I reach to the nightstand for her phone and look to her, “What time, sweetheart?”
After I set the alarm for five o’clock, I climb in bed to hold her, all night, if that’s what she wants. 

When the phone chime wakes us up the next morning, we’re knotted together with arms and legs wrapped around each other. Sleeping with someone’s head on my chest and legs intertwined with mine has never felt as good as it does with Alexis. I’ve never slept the whole night with a woman. There hasn’t ever been a woman that made me want this type of set up. Now that there is, I’m not sure how I can make that happen with Alexis, since her life is a little more complicated than the average woman, and mine is complex as well.

I’ve never had a desire to change a woman's name. I thought I wasn’t the marrying type. After one night with this beautiful girl, I want to give her everything! Actually, I think I’ve always wanted to give her everything, and anything.

“Good morning, sweetheart! I like starting the day kissing you,” I say, as I kiss her forehead.

“I like starting my day snuggling you. Don’t get up, yet. We have a few minutes before she wakes,” she says with a sleepy smile, as she settles herself against me with her head lying on my chest. We lay like this for several minutes before it’s time to move, and time for me to scurry off, so these girls can get ready for their day. I wish I could be here to eat breakfast with them, but Alexis isn’t ready to explain me sleeping over to Sierra yet.

This sleeping ritual becomes a bit of a routine over the course of the next few weeks. I come over to Alexis’s house every night and spend time playing and hanging out with the girls together. Then after Sierra is down for the night, I play with Alexis. I sleep over every night and hurry out the door early the next morning, before the sun comes up, so Alexis can start the day with Sierra. It’s getting harder and harder to walk out the door in those early morning hours. I’m becoming
somewhat desperate for more time with them. I don’t want to push Alexis too far, though. She’s given so much over the past couple weeks.

Sierra is adorable. I’m as attached to her as I am to her mama. Falling head over heels for that blond haired,
blue eyed little girl so quickly was unexpected. I haven't ever thought about kids in that way. I’ve always liked kids well enough, but Sierra is the sweetest little girl I’ve ever met. Her smile is as wide as the sky. Putting that smile on her face has recently become one of my life’s missions. I would move mountains to see her smile light up! She’s so much like her mama. They both glow when they’re happy.

I have a benefit concert in Nashville in a couple days. I’m heading up there tomorrow for a few nights. I’m hoping Court will pop that kid out while I’m there, so I can kill two birds with one stone, and get back here to my girls. I’ve been trying to convince Alexis to come with me, but she is apprehensive about taking Sierra. I think it’s more her issue, but she won’t admit that. I’ll continue to beg her until the minute I have to leave. I’m scheduled to fly out tomorrow night on the label’s jet. I have just over twenty-four hours to convince her.

I take out my phone to send her a text. I know she has a busy day and she’s having lunch with her best friend, Whitney, today. I usually don’t hear from her much during the day. For some reason she won’t ever text or call me first. It makes me feel like a stalker when I’m always the one calling and texting. It does make me feel like the ‘Big Bad Wolf” as Alexis calls me.

Me: Hi, having a good day? I just wanted to talk to you about all the things we could take Sierra to see and do in Nashville. I think you girls would have a really great ti
me. Can we please talk about it? Sierra can come to the concert with us. I think she’ll like it. (on knees begging)….can’t imagine the next few days without you.

No answer…I check my phone every thirty-six seconds, and she doesn’t reply.