The Young Vampire Mate: The Airendell Chronicler Diaries - Book 1.5 (19 page)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

I am not sure how long we stand there embracing before I reach up to cup Damian’s face.  “I know how badly you wanted to make Aideen pay for what she did to Morna, leannan, but you didn’t resort to violence.  I am so proud to be your mate because of that and everything else I am learning about you.”  I kiss him chastely and say, “I am convinced that someone is controlling Aideen when she acts like that.  I just can’t trace the source.”

Damian growls, “If she hurts Morna again and I may not be able to control myself, whether she’s being controlled or not.”  I understand and don’t say anything.  I am just praying nothing like this ever happens again.

After several long moments of silence between us, Damian pulls back and looks at my face; searchingly.  “Baby, you said you are proud to be my mate?”  I nod meeting his intense look.  “Does that mean you accept me as your mate?”  I smile and nod again.  He looks happy but still sighs and says; “I haven’t told you just how fucked up I really am, Breena.  You don’t know me well enough to make that choice.”

“Yes, I do.  Damian, I meant it when I said I know things about people.  I really do.  I know your heart, leannan.”  I smile and then pull his head down and kiss him.  I finally let go of everything inside of me that I have been holding back around this man that I already love.  When I finally break the kiss I am panting and on fire for Damian.  I want him to make love to me more than I have ever wanted anything in my life.  NO!  I need him to make love to me. I am desperate for him to be inside of me, to claim him and to be claimed by him.

I erect the buffer spell around our room.  I grab the hem of Damian’s shirt and peel it off of his beautiful body.  I can’t help it, I actually purr when I see his beautiful chest and washboard abs.  I weave the spell to protect my body before I say; “Love me, Damian.  Make me yours.  Let me claim you as my mate.”

He picks me up and carries me to the bed.  He hovers over me, holding his weight off of me on his arms, as he covers me with the length of his perfect, hard and icy body.  “Mon amour, are you sure?  Is this what you really want?”  I smile wickedly and nod.  I want it more than I can articulate in this moment.  “Baby, if we do this… it’s for keeps.  My kind when we claim a mate, it’s forever.  You get that, right?”

“The same is true with my kind, leannan.”  I assure him.

“Breena, even after what I told you about Mrs. Leveau?  My tastes, what I like to do is probably not what you are used to.”

My smile isn’t as certain now because truthfully what I suspect he likes I am not sure I am capable of giving it to him.  “Damian, I suspect that you are a Dom at heart… and I have no idea if I am even capable of being a submissive.  I don’t know if I want to be a submissive.  I don’t know if I will like kinky sex.  But even with those questions unanswered between us and can you really say you don’t want to claim me as your mate?  Are you worried I won’t be enough for you? Because I am kind of worried about that too… But I really think the connection we have and our chemistry can see us through. I know you are my mate, and I want to claim you as such.” 

He growls and kisses me so passionately that all coherent thought leaves my mind.  When he trails kisses down my neck and then lies his head between my breasts and whispers; “Mon amour, you are everything that I want in a mate.  I am not as warped as all that.”  He pulls back and looks me in the eyes, “I am not Dom, per se, baby.  But I do have a lot of those leanings.  I do like to play a little rough sometimes.  I will be honest I have a lot of fantasies about restraining you and even a few about spanking your beautiful ass.”  He laughs when I gasp.  “Does that scare you?”

“A little,” I admit.  “I don’t have much experi…”

Damian smiles.  “I am glad to hear that.  We will find our way together.  But I can promise you that I will never harm you, baby.  I would never do anything to you that I wouldn’t make very enjoyable for you.”  He caresses my face tenderly.  “Just trust me, Breena.  I have to have your trust.  It’s essential to me.  I need your trust more than I need control.” 
              I swallow hard and nod, because I do trust him.  I start to tell him that I have absolutely zero experience, that I am still a virgin when he leans in and kisses me causing all coherent thought to leave me once again.

He quickly stands beside the bed and moves to my feet to remove my boots and socks.  “You are using that spell, right?”  I nod.  He massages my right foot and drags his thumbnail across the instep, making me gasp because it feels very sexual.  He raises my foot to his mouth and gently bites my big toe on the pad of it and smiles knowingly when I shiver.  “I may be kind of fucked up but I can make our loving very, very good for you, baby.” 

His face becomes very solemn when he adds, “I will always respect and adore you, mon amour.  Don’t ever worry about that.  I will always treasure and protect you.  No one could ever love you more than I will, forever.”

I tug my foot out of his hands and move to kneel on the bed before him as I pull his head down to kiss him.  “I know, Damian.  I do trust you.  I trust you enough to love you even without the iron-spell but I want you to feel free to be yourself with me so I will use it when we love.  But not because I am worried about protecting myself. I just want you to understand that.”

He cups my face and kisses me tenderly.  “I do understand that, baby.”  He gently pulls my top off and runs his hands down over my bare breasts onto my rounded belly.  I stiffen up because I hate my belly, I never can seem to get it flat no matter how hard or how often I work out.  He leans down and nuzzles his face into my belly and moans.  “I love your curves, amour.  You are beautifully rounded in all of the right places.”

I cradle his head against me as I moan at his words and the intimate feel of his face nuzzling my belly.  He moves his face up and kisses me between my breasts before he cups them firmly, turning to kiss each breast in turn.  “Your tits are perfect, Breena.  Big enough to enjoy but not so big they look out of place on your tiny frame.  And they are shaped perfectly.  So fucking pert.  I bet you can’t even trap a pencil under them.”  I can’t help it I have to giggle.  I have never tried that, but I bet he’s right.

He moves his fingers to roll each nipple hard, and then pinches them.  He smiles knowingly when I gasp and moan.  “I love how responsive you are.  I can smell you, baby.  Your cunt is already wet for me and that pleases me more than I can tell you.” 

I shiver when he says that.  I have always been put off by dirty talk and that particular word.  But when Damian says it… Well, it’s different.  I am not sure why, but it makes me hot.  It makes me feel sexy.

He moves his mouth and sucks hard on my left nipple before moving to attend to the right one.  I moan and clutch his head in my hands, I am blown away by how good his not-so-gentle-touch feels, how hot it makes me.  I feel sizzling, intense need throbbing between my legs and I want him to hurry up and do something about that. 

He chuckles.  “I can smell your impatience, baby.  Trust me to take care of you, to make you feel very good.”  I nod, but feel disappointed when he steps back from me.  I reach out for him but he shakes his head at me.

“Take your jeans off, Breena.  But leave your panties on, for now.”

I slowly comply and I am rewarded when I see the fire in his eyes flare brightly as I kneel before him on the bed in only my panties.  “Fuck, baby!  You are so beautiful.”  I blush and move to cover my breasts from his scrutiny suddenly feeling very shy. 

He peels my hands from breasts and holds them gently in his own, shaking his head.  “Don’t ever hide from me,” he growls hoarsely.  “You are perfection, don’t ever hide your body when we are alone like this.  Let me look my fill.  Allow me to savor your beauty.  Breena, you are Aphrodite!”

I chuckle, “I look nothing like Aphrodite.  She’s tall and blonde and much curvier than I am.”

“Who gives a fuck,” Damian growls.  “I have never seen the woman.  I am just coming to realize that she’s a real person. So let me rephrase, you are flawlessness, perfection, absolutely the most beautiful woman in existence.  My perfection… you are completely lovely in face, form and demeanor.  You are perfection.”

That small voice in my head that is always so critical of myself and everyone else makes a snarky comment about Damian’s overuse of the word perfection, but I slap her down and tell her to be silent.  If Damian thinks I am perfect… then I am perfect.  At least for him.  At least in this moment.

My whole body is quivering at his words.  I don’t understand why I am feeling like this… my whole body feels taunt, and achy…. I need… I need him.  A tear rolls down my cheek and I whisper my beloved’s name.  “Damian, hold me.”

He quickly moves to wrap me into his arms and says; “Shhh baby, why are you crying?”

“I am afraid,” I admit.

“I’ll never hurt you, amour.  I promise.”  He kisses the top of my head as he lovingly caresses my back.

“I am not afraid of you, Damian.  It’s just that I have never felt like you are making me feel and that’s what scares me.  I feel… achy, needful and all tied up in knots.”

Damian chuckles and I raise my head to look at him uncertainly, wondering why he is laughing at me.  I realize he’s not laughing at me when he says; “I am afraid in the very same way, amour.  I have never felt the way I feel right now, either.  I feel like my love for you is taking me over.”  I nod because I get that.  Absolutely!

“Besides, bébé, you have no idea what a gift it is for a man like me to know that I can make you feel that way with a couple of caresses and a few words.” 

A small part of my brain, that critical little voice, wonders what that says about me.  But I push those thoughts aside and focus on my lover.

He lifts me off of the bed and stands me on my feet before him.  He leans down to kiss my lips tenderly before trailing kisses down my neck onto my chest and breasts.  Tenderly kissing each nipple before he stands back and whispers; “I want to watch you make yourself come.”

I gasp and blush hotly.  Before I can tell him I don’t know how to do that, he looks around the room and asks; “Do you have a toy you use?”

I blush even brighter red.  Mortification makes me snap; “No, I don’t have a fucking dildo stashed in my backpack.”

He smiles at my reaction, “Okay, so you don’t use a toy.  Just use your hands.  I want to see you come.  I want to see what you like.”

He moves to lift me back onto the bed; “I don’t know how.” I mutter, feeling embarrassed and a little bit peevish.  I am not comfortable revealing my apparent total lack of sexuality.  I mean want grown woman doesn’t know how to make herself come? What does that say about me?  Shit! What if I am frigid?

He tilts my face up so he can see me.  “What do mean you don’t know how?  Everyone knows their own body better than anyone else.  I want to know what pleases you and I really want to see you come by your own hand.  It would please me a great deal.”  I am moved by his sincerity and his commanding presence but it overwhelms me too.

I pull my head away from his hand and look at the floor.  “Well, then you are going to find me miserably inadequate because I really don’t know how to make myself come.”

“No shit?” He sputters. I can hear the disbelief and surprise in his tone.

I am feeling hurt and angry so I reach for my top to put it back on.  I am convinced that this is one colossally bad idea.  Damian is so far out of my league that it’s a joke.  The best thing for both of us is to go our separate ways. 

Damian takes my top out of my hands and tilts my face up to him again.  “You really don’t know how to get yourself off?”  All I can do is shrug helplessly.  “Don’t you ever get horny when you are alone?”

I blush again and my eyes flash my anger plainly.  “Sure I get horny, Damian.  I am human being, and I am just as sexual as any other woman.  I just don’t know what to do about it.”  My lack of experience is making me feel frighteningly unprepared for Damian Summers and I again wonder if I should walk away before I get hurt when I see the disappointment in his eyes when I can’t measure up to him.

“Believe me, I am not a prude or frigid.  I have tried to make myself come before… I just wasn’t too effective at it.  And I have never been comfortable enough to use a device.  So I just channel that energy into something else.”

He smiles knowingly and says; “No wonder you are so accomplished at so many things.  Sublimating all that energy into other interests would be powerful.  Frustrating as hell, but powerful.”  He leans down and kisses my lips.  “I will teach you how to pleasure yourself and you will do it for me, but only for me, baby.  Every orgasm you ever have from here on out is for me only, got it?”

I roll my eyes, “Jeez, you are a fucking control freak, aren’t you?”

“Yes, Breena, I am definitely control freak when it comes to you, your passion and your body.  Mon Amour, you have to understand I need that.  I need to know your body, your love, your passion… all of that is only for me.”  He looks embarrassed to admit this and I realize it probably cost him a great deal to share that with me.  I want to reassure him so I step out of my comfort zone.

I move to stand so close to him that my hard nipples pucker even more when I make contact with his hard, cold body.  I can’t help it I shiver as my need for him rips through my body.  He wraps me in his arms and says; “I am sorry about my cold body.  I would change it if I could.”