The Young Vampire Mate: The Airendell Chronicler Diaries - Book 1.5 (17 page)

We are about to leave my room when I think to ask a question that’s been in my mind since shortly after I first met him.  “Leannan, where did you learn to speak French?”

Damian‘s face darkens, I can feel him close off from me.  “You won’t like the answer, mon cher.”

“Well, whatever it is, it’s a part of you, so I want to know.”  I can see he doesn’t want to tell me and even though I worry about why he’s so unwilling I move to reassure him.  “Don’t worry.  We can talk about it later.”

Damian sighs and rubs his hands over his face.  “I can tell it bothers you that I am keeping something from you.” 

I nod.  He’s perceptive as hell.  That’s good and that’s bad.  I mentally roll my eyes at myself. 

“When I was thirteen, a teacher of mine made me her lover.”

“Ewww, Mrs. Robinson much?”  I make no effort to hide my disgust at the thought of a grown woman doing that to a young boy.

Damian chuckles, “Try Mrs. Laveau, Marie Laveau.”

I cock an eyebrow at that.  His answering smirk chills me.  I can tell he’s masking a lot of pain from me behind that hard, cocky attitude. “Not that Marie Laveau.  Obviously.  But she did imagine herself some sort of Voodoo practitioner and mistress of darkness.  She was also a high school French teacher.  She taught me to speak and read French, table manners, how to dance and how to conduct myself in public, and how to fuck in more kinky ways than you can ever imagine,” Damian growls.  “She gave me a taste for pain… giving and receiving.  For power exchange, bondage, domination, exhibitionism and some outright kinky ass shit you probably don’t even want to know about much less participate in.”

I gasp and move back from him, “What?”

He smiles sadly and gives me a little shrug.  “Baby, I told you that you would not like the answer.”

I nod to concede that he did warn me.  But I still would rather know all about him, even things I might not like.  “So, is that what you want?  A mate to fuck in those kinky ways?”  I am pissed at myself because my voice sounds so shaky, but this revelation shakes me to my core.

He backs me into the door, kind of hard, pinning my wrists above my head in his inescapable grip.  And the harshness of his actions surprises me considering how protective and solicitous has acted towards me since we met.  “Breena, you are mate.  I will always cherish and protect you.  And I will love you as I see fit… but I promise, mon amour, I will always make sure you enjoy it.  I will always give you pleasure.”

I yank my hands out of his harsh grip and push him away from me.  I am surprised to realize that I had forgotten to drop the iron-lion spell.  “I don’t want to be used and I certainly don’t need a fucking boy-toy or a Dom.  I want a mate, a partner.”

Damian leans down in my face, almost making me feel threatened.  “What do you know about a Dom?  You into a little BDSM, baby?”

I resist the urge to slap the shit out of him because his tone was wicked, leering and left me feeling demeaned and debased.  “No,” I whisper.  “But I am not totally ignorant either.”  I swallow hard and close my eyes, “That’s why you want control of our sex life, isn’t it?”

He doesn’t answer me so I open my eyes to search his face for his reply.  The sadness I feel from him is nearly overwhelming.  “We should go see what is going on with Morna.  This is not something we have time to deal with right now,” he says gruffly.  All I can do is nod and follow him out of my room.

I walk beside Damian to common room learn what they have planned to deal with Morna’s attacker.  I feel a gulf widening between me and my newly found mate and it tears at my heart.  Judging by the sadness coming from Damian, I suspect he too is concerned by what may turn out to be insurmountable differences between us.

I want to run off somewhere and cry.  I feel my dreams of a gentle, loving mate disintegrating before I even have an opportunity to claim him.  The sense of loss is nearly overwhelming, but I push it out of my mind and firmly slap my shields around my mind.  Hell will freeze over before I let Fionn find out about this.  I look over at Damian and whisper, “Don’t forget Fionn can read our thoughts.”

Damian pulls his lip back in a snarl; “I am capable to keeping my thoughts to myself, now that I know what your boyfriend can do.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I hiss angrily as I stop and turn towards Damian.  “Stop being an ass, Damian.  You know there’s nothing sexual between Fionn and me.  You are just pissed because I am overwhelmed by what you just told me.  You have no reason to be jealous of Fionn and you know it.”

He throws his head back and laughs.  It’s a harsh sound, conveying no amusement whatsoever.  “Bullshit, Breena!  You may not have ever fucked him… but there’s plenty sexual between you two.  I could smell you when you two spoke at Luca’s house.  Your body responds to him, and he sure as hell wants you.”

I swallow hard because I know he’s right.  My body does respond to Fionn.  “I don’t want him.  I thought I wanted you.”

Damian looks like I slapped him.  “But now you aren’t sure?”

“I still want you… but now you do scare me.”  I sigh when I see the horrible pained look on his face.  I reach up and cup his face.  “Not that way.  Look, leannan, we need to join the others.  Our personal lives have to take a back seat until we can remove the threat from Morna’s life and our Guild.  We can talk later.”

I feel him close off from me emotionally.  “Damian, don’t shut down and keep me out.  This is my fault, I moved too fast.  I wanted you and I let that affect my judgment.  We need to get to know each other we go any further.  I should have realized the differences in our backgrounds would take…”

“A fucking miracle to overcome,” Damian snaps before he walks away.

I catch up with him, grab his elbow and spin him around hard to make him face me.  “Not a fucking miracle!  Just a little maturity and willingness to meet each other halfway.”

Damian’s face softens.  “I am sorry, mon cher.  I panicked.  I felt like you were writing me off.”  He reaches out and cups my face tenderly, and I automatically lean into his hand, turning to kiss his palm.  “I am not worthy of you, baby.”  He whispers.  “We both know it.  Fuck, everyone here knows it.  I just know any minute you are going to admit it to yourself and tell me to stay the hell away from you.”

“Ne retenez pas votre souffle, mon jeune ami.”

Damian laughs, “I don’t breathe, Breena.  No breath to hold.”

“You know what I mean.”  He nods and seems to accept it, for now.  I pull his head down and kiss him.  He groans and picks me up, causing me to wrap my arms and legs around his body.  Damian deepens the kiss and takes me completely out of my mind.  When he finally breaks the kiss I am breathing so hard that I can’t speak.  I rest my forehead against his chest and savor how good it feels to be held by Damian Summers.  I am so drawn to this man it scares me.  I am finding out that he is very, very different from what I assumed I wanted and needed in a mate.  God help me.  He scares the shit out of me because he might be more twisted than I imagined my mate mit be but I want him, I want him badly.

I finally raise my head from Damian’s chest when I hear someone clear their throat.  I look up and realize that I had stopped Damian in the entrance to the common room.  I blush vividly knowing that I must have given them quite a show.  Damian leans in and kisses my cheek near my ear and whispers; “Mon amour, don’t worry about them.  Don’t be embarrassed.”  I nod and slowly slide down his body and stand on my own two feet.  Raise my chin and turn to face my family and friends.

I see a few knowing, but nonjudgmental smiles.  Only Aideen looks at us in an unfriendly way, but she’s been going around with a bug up her butt for years.  I meet Fionn’s eyes, expecting … I don’t know what.  But all I see is a wan, accepting smile. But he’s closed himself off from me, so I really have no idea what he’s thinking. 

Shit! I hate being like everyone else and having to guess what others are feeling.

Damian sits beside George Welborn.  I smile because I suspect he does that just to make the Stone Breaker uncomfortable, but I don’t sense anything negative from George, just acceptance and maybe a little amusement.

I sit between Morna and Fionn.  I almost laugh when my sister and my best friend squeeze my knees under the table at the same time.  Both of them seeking to reassure me.

CHAPTER TWELVE

I quickly forget all about my embarrassment over kissing Damian with an audience after I find out what they are planning.  Morna plans to enter the twelfth spiritual plane, it’s kind of a dream dimension where all manner of non-human entities live.  It’s a very dangerous place that few human Immortals are willing to enter, and my sister plans to go there alone.  Shit!

The creature that she is planning to confront is an abomination created a several centuries ago by Lord only knows who.  It is a hybrid between a Stone Cold vampire and a Troll with a healthy dose of powerful magic mixed in just for shits and giggles.  Whoever created them also infused them with power psychic abilities and that’s why the creature can attack Morna across the dimensions.  They are dangerous foes and I wish that I could go with my sister, but our kind of Immortals can only go into planes of this kind one at a time, or we weaken each other.  Maria will act as a guide to the plane and then will have to wait outside for Morna.  Fear gnaws at my gut and I try not to give into it and beg Morna not to go.

Morna informs us she needs the necessary.  I almost smirk at that.  I bet she just wants few moments with her mate.  I can’t say that I blame her, I would feel the same in her place.

The rest of us go to the training room to wait.  Damian remains near me, watching me intently.  I feel his worry and uncertainty.  I reach out and squeeze his hand right before Fionn joins us.  Where he wraps an arm around my waist and assures me that Morna will be okay.  I appreciate the comfort and assurance, but I am not sure Fionn touching me this intimately is really smart for him or me right now.  I am pretty impressed that Damian doesn’t get into some kind of territorial dispute with Fionn over his actions.  I can sense his displeasure but he confines himself to giving Fionn an angry glare until he releases me with a knowing smirk.

When Morna joins us she greets us all, many individually before she puts herself into the hands of our friends Rinda and Elias before she ultimately trusts Maria, the Stone Breaker Shaman to lead her to the Spirit Plane.

The fight will actually take place on the twelfth plane and it takes Morna a while to get there.  I want to explain it to Damian and Fionn, because I can feel their anxiety building as Morna and Maria climb through the ascending planes.  But it is important that we remain silent and not distract my little sister from her task at hand because she is existing in both planes at once.  A tricky thing for any magical Immortal, especially one who hasn’t regained all of her power and has been physically under attack for months.

From what we are able to observe, and what I can feel from Morna, it is a very intense hunt and battle.  I smile grimly when I feel Morna’s satisfaction as she rips the creature’s head off before burning the body.  But I am very confused when she sees someone or something on the plane that causes her to feel extreme feelings of compassion, kindred and regret.  I can’t help but wonder if Valgullveig is there and Morna recognizes her on some level. 

How would that even be possible?  Has Morna ever met Val? I don’t see how that’s possible, but I can’t shake the feeling that Morna is, at least on some unconscious level, aware of Valgullveig and their sisterly bond.

When Morna makes it back to our dimension she is wounded and losing a lot of blood.  She is weakening fast and trying to quickly explain what she saw.  The creature was a female, not a male as they expected.  And Morna also saw some blond woman in the distance whom she felt a connection to.  Dammit!  I knew it.

After Morna passes out, we get her wounds cleaned, and start IV antibiotics after she passes out.  At one point, her healers go out onto the Gateway plain to debate her best course of treatment.  They need to be out of range of her hearing so that she can rest.  But I know in my gut what option they will probably decide is best.  When Luca comes back to stay with his mate, I hug him hard before I kiss his cheek in an effort to reassure him.  He embraces me back and I really have no idea how long we hold each other in an effort to share comfort. 

Before long I leave the room with Damian before I go to the common room to eat.  Everyone is subdued, but hopeful that Morna will be alright.  Damian is watching me closely, but I can’t get a read on his emotions.  Why are the men that are most important to me so hard for me to read?  Damian, Fionn and even Luca… I have trouble reading them all.

When Damian goes with Bronwyn to patrol the area I go with Fionn, saying we should check the plain.  But honestly, I just want to be with my friend.  I seriously doubt what we will be attacked from Middle-world.  Few beings are foolish enough to attack a force like ours in a stronghold this secure and protected by wards, but crazier things have been known to happen.

After we have scouted the perimeter we go back to hang out near the doorway.  We sit on a massive rock and just sit in silence for a bit.  Fionn takes my hand into his and says; “You okay, baby?”

“Yeah, but I am dreading the treatment option that I am sure they will go with.  That venom is going to hurt like hell.”

“Won’t that turn her into a Stone Cold?” Fionn asks.

“No, I don’t think it will.”  He looks at me skeptically so I tell him about the ruling class of the Chitimacha people.  “They were Dragon descendants.  Don’t ask me how Dragon descendants ended up in the New World.  Even Cocidius the creator of the Dragon line claims to not know. But for centuries, they would capture Stone Colds and milk their venom before they killed them and made a potion with the venom that would drink to lengthen their lives and make them stronger.  I think Morna is a Dragon descendent.  I have always felt that way.  She won‘t be changed anymore by the additional venom exposure, it will only heal her.”

Fionn nods, but doesn’t say anything for a minute and then he asks; “Is everything alright with you and lover boy?”

“Stop it, Fionn.  I am not going to discuss my mate with you, especially not when you act like this.”

Fionn chuckles, “Fair enough, baby.  Just promise me that if you feel threatened you will come to me.”

I look up at my friend and say; “If I ever truly felt threatened by Damian, I would go to Luca.  I wouldn’t get you killed.”  Fionn snorts to show me how much he appreciates my confidence in him. 

“Stop it Fionn, it’s not about how big of a badass you are.  I know what a Shifter, who happens to also be a Spell Weaver enforcer can do.”  Fionn looks somewhat mollified.  “Damian respects Luca.  He could calm him down if were necessary.  If I ran to you, it would probably cause one of you to end up dead.  I won’t have that.  You both mean too much to me.”

Fionn just nods and then tenses.  I can feel Damian as he enters the plain behind us so I don’t have to ask what’s wrong.  I turn and hold my hand out to my potential mate and he smiles hesitantly and takes my hand and joins us, sitting on our rock. 

Fionn snorts and goes back into the common room.  “He doesn’t think much of me, does he?”  Damian asks.

“Yes, he does or he would never leave me alone with you.  Fionn MacLeod and I have had each other’s backs for centuries.  Just the fact that he leaves me with you speaks volumes, leannan, believe me.”

Damian nods like that makes sense to him.  “I heard what you said about going to Luca if you ever felt threatened by me…” I nod waiting for him to continue.  “I have watched you with Luca.  Your actions and apparent feelings towards him confuse me, mon cher.”

I look up at Damian trying to understand what he means because he is hiding his emotions from me.  “Are you in love with Luca?” he finally asks me outright.

I can’t help it that makes me laugh so hard I nearly double over and fall off the rock that we are sitting on.  When I finally get a little control over myself I see that my laughter has hurt Damian.  I reach out and cup his face, “No, leannan, I am not in love with my brother in law.”  I smile at him.  “I guess I can understand why you would ask. I probably talk about Luca a lot. I know I admire him more than almost any person I know, but love him, like you mean… no not at all.”

Damian just nods.  I squeeze his hand and say, “We should go check on Morna.  She may wake anytime.”  As we enter the common room Luca darts to my side, “Morna, needs you.”  He scoops me up and carries me to her room. 

I was terrified she was in pain or something really awful because of Luca’s impatience to get me to my sister.  But when we enter their chamber Morna is laughing as Luca sets me on my feet.  When I find out what the big emergency was, I laugh too.  “You have been mated to Luca for almost seven hundred years and you still can’t go to the bathroom in front of him?” Morna blushes and shakes her head no.  I laugh, “Well, as far as I can tell, it’s your only vanity, so what the heck.”

After I help Morna we sit and talk quietly for a bit.  “They will be here to treat the wound with Luca’s venom in a bit,” she says, with a hint of reluctance in her voice.  I can feel the pain that’s she’s already experiencing and I know it’s nothing compared to what she will experience with the venom.  I squeeze her hand before I walk over and open the door to let them know it is okay to come back in.

When Luca returns Rinda and Brigid follow close on his heels.  Brigid administers a strong dose of a tranquilizer as Rinda starts a relaxation chant.  Her voice is lovely and soothes my soul, and I hope it does Morna’s a well.  Luca and I both hold her in binding spells to keep her still for the treatment.

Morna tried to get me to leave because of my strong empathic abilities, but I couldn’t abandon her when she would be facing so much pain.  Besides, I would be able to feel her pain for hundreds of miles.  I am very connected to Morna as my sister and my powers are especially strong with those I love.  Being inside the Gateway also increases my gift.  No, I might as well stay and help what little I can.  There’s not going to be any escape for me.

Morna screams horribly at the first touch of the venom in the open wound, but quickly controls herself.  I can feel the utter agony that she is experiencing as the nasty deep gouge in her side and the burn on her hand are treated with Luca’s venom.  It is the most incredible thing I have ever witnessed.  The wound heals right before my eyes, but Morna’s suffering intensifies as the venom works its way through her bloodstream.

We sit with Morna and monitor her for the next two hours until the pain begins to abate a bit and she asks Luca to lie with her.  I slip out behind Brigid and Rinda.  I am not surprised to find Damian waiting in the hallway.  I know he could hear her racing heart and smell her physical reaction to the pain.  He and Luca know as well as I do that Morna is suffering.  I smile up at Damian, “She’s resting now with Luca.” 

He looks relieved to hear that, and my heart melts with tenderness for the concern my potential mate has for my sister.  Their bond is almost like the bond between a mother and child.  It is so pure that I am truly moved.

I rub my face and say, “I think I will do the same.”  I reach for his hand, “I know you don’t sleep, but would you like to come talk with me until I doze off.”  I blush, I know that’s not very exciting, but I want to spend time with him.  I want for us to get to know each other.

“I would like nothing better,” Damian assures me, sounding genuine, even eager.  For a moment I wonder if he’s hoping to have sex.  I hope not, we jumped in too fast before and now I am leery.  I need to know Damian better before I can give myself to him like that.  Especially in light of learning what he is into.

When we arrive at my room I remove my boots and crawl up onto the bed.  I lie on my side, fully clothed on top of the covers and sigh contentedly when Damian spoons in behind me to pull me gently into his arms.  “You fit my body perfectly, mon cher,” he whispers in my ear.  I shiver because I was thinking exactly the same thing.

I don’t know how long we talk.  He tells me about his sister, but avoids questions about his parents, especially his mother.  I sense deep, painful emotions associated with his mom, so I don’t push it.  And soon he is asking me about my work with soldiers suffering from PTSD.  Eventually, I drift off in his arms, dreaming about Damian, the same dreams I have had for centuries.  Of us holding our first child, a son who looks so much like his father that I could weep for joy.  I dream of us fighting side by side, working together as partners and mates.  I dream about us loving, sharing passion and love so intense it overwhelms me.  There is no fear or uncertainty in my dreams of my mate.

But at some point, my dream shifts.  And I realize one of my patients is experiencing a psychotic break.  His flashbacks have become so intense he can’t distinguish memory from reality.  He’s lashing out at his wife and children.  I am trying to reach him to connect with him, to soothe him.  It’s much harder to do over a long distance.  I can do it, but it takes a massive physical and emotional toll on me.

When I finally awaken I feel leaden and exhausted.  I sigh and move to sit up.  I want to get my phone and leave the Gateway to check on Lance Corporal Jennings.  But Damian’s arms tighten oh so gently around me and he whispers in my ear.  “Jennings is fine, Breena.  I went to get Fionn when you connected to Jennings and he sent his friends Fintan and Oksana to him.”

I sigh and relax.  I snuggle back into Damian, relishing the comfort I find in his embrace until something he said surfaces in my exhausted mind.  “How did you know?” I whisper. 

Damian kisses my neck.  “I am not sure, mon amour.  But when I lie beside you, I see your dreams.  No, I experience them with you.  When I became obvious that you were not just dreaming, but connected in real time to that Marine, I went to get Fionn.  I didn’t know what else to do.  He said his friend and his mother are Dream Walkers and they could help soothe that poor guy.  He said they can put someone in deep sleep and enter their dreams to heal them.  Rinda has gone to help him also.”