At our pace, the surroundings were a blur, the wind pushing my shoulder length hair out of my eyes. It felt nice on my skin, like a loving stroke. I glanced up to see time Apollo starting to extinguish the sun, his twin sister, Artemis preparing to take its place with the moon. Within moments, we reached our destination, Dion's pub.
I handed over my ride to a young satyr, his impish face covered in pimples and a sparse beard. I patted him on the head before entering the establishment with Frias and immediately regretted my decision to join him. It was packed, not that it never was, but this night seemed unmistakably swamped.
Frias had already made his way through the crowd, locating his brothers near the billiards tables, leaving me to find my own way.
Swallowing my anxiety, I shouldered my way through groups of minor gods, sea creatures and nymphs. The bar counter in my sights, but still so far away. I felt the walls that were made of bodies closing in, my breathing grew shallow and I had to repeat the mantra: r
ight foot, left foot. Right foot, left foot.
My focus remained on the empty stool situated at the corner side of the bar, against the far wall. Just two steps more and I wondered if I'd make it, my vision slowly blurring as I began to hyperventilate. If I fainted in this bar, I knew I'd never be able to show my face here again, but I feared I didn't have a chance.
At just the point where I felt my legs growing heavy, a gentle but firm arm wrapped around my own. Shakily, I turned, looked down and smiled to see my beautiful niece Psyche. Her warm brown eyes sparked through with a gold shined kindness while she helped me the rest of the way to the seat. She and her husband, Eros were the few allies I had in the realm. She left me then, roaming through the throngs of patrons, disappearing from my sight.
Gulping in a refreshing breath, I half turned and signaled to the bartender, a young, muscular centaur.
He cantered over to me while cleaning a glass with his rag, and I struggled to keep from gawking at his tattoo, the drawing being a very effeminate hero character, wearing nothing more than hot pink Speedos. If that wasn't bad enough, the extra buff man was holding a phallic shaped unicorn horn that was spewing out what might have been milk—let’s hopes it was milk.
“Hey there! Glad you could join us, my lord. I'm Abrax. Whatcha' having tonight?” He spoke with a soothing voice and had a friendly face. Top that off with his doe brown eyes and you'd easily spill your life's sadness to him.
“Just a pint of nectar, please.”
He filled my drink, quickly sliding it down to my awaiting grasp and went off to serve the group of giggling temple maidens.
I sat back again, the wall a cold stone to prop me up as I surveyed the people mingling. My eyes locked on Aella.
She was flirting with a younger deity, and she caught me looking. She smiled in my direction.
I waved, and then wished I hadn't.
Aella laughed and whispered to her companion, causing him to turn and laugh at me as well. They walked off to the dance area.
I sighed and considered calling it a night, until I spotted Psyche returning, Eros by her side. Sometimes, I couldn't believe that he was the son of Ares. Aphrodite yes, seeing how his looks were similar to hers. But Ares?
Unlike the War God, Eros marched to the beat of his own drum. His hair was golden, like his mother's and it made me wonder if the rumors of him being kissed by the sun were true. His eyes shifted color, as though they simply couldn't figure out what they wanted to be. The women in the building all turned to follow his stride, but he didn't see them. Eros was faithful to his wife. Tall, powerful and lean, his face was kind, beautiful even while his lips were always turned up in an easy smile.
Psyche rested against him, wrapped in the cloak that was his hefty, silver wing. Once they made it to where I sat, he pulled out a chair for himself and planted his wife onto his lap. “Hey, Hephaestus! Psyche said you were here, but I didn't believe her! How are ya?”
“I've been better. You're both looking well. How's life been treating you?”
“Good, good.”
“Just good? Really?”
His eyes flashed briefly, before he glanced down the counter, nodding to the centaur. He had to shift slightly, adjusting his wife while doing so, but he wasn’t very gentle with it. Granted, my nephew was usually a neurotic mess, so I was almost unaware of his nervous wing twitches—Almost.
Abrax finally came to our side.
The young god, not being a big drinker, ordered a scotch with a shot of ambrosia. The strongest drink you could get.
Even though I am usually the ever patient god, I grew just as antsy with his fidgeting and wished he'd say something, rather than stare down at his glass. Running a hand through his hair, he gulped down the concoction, pounded his chest and finally belched out fire.
I blinked rapidly at the jutting flame and decided to order that particular drink next time.
Psyche looked from him to me and back, her eyes round with worry.
“Everything okay in paradise, nephew?”
“What? Oh yeah. Hey, how's it going in the dating department?” he asked.
“Ha! What kind of question is that? You do remember who I am, right?”
“You're a good looking guy. You could get whoever, I'm sure.”
“You've been speaking with Frias, it seems. Just say what you have to say.”
Eros slid his stool back a degree. He probably figured I didn't notice, but I did. I'm good like that as I pick up on even the slightest nuance. It was however, when he removed Psyche from his lap and placed her behind him protectively that I began to wonder what damage he’d caused. “Okay, okay, I'll tell you. Just don't poison my next quivers order. I may have made a bit of a bet that entailed you and your love life.”
Of course, he had. Did I forget to mention that he has his father obsession with gambling? I put my glass down, leaning forward which put an uncomfortable pressure onto my bad leg. I knew my eyes had to be flickering with barely contained power, since both of them refused to look at me directly. Yet, I managed to keep a calm composure. Someone should give me a medal. “Go on.”
“Well, it was family dinner night. Mom was fussing about how Athena always got the credit for being smart when beauty reigned supreme. Ares made a comment about how he'd like to break the Maiden Goddess's back in his bed, which made Mom furious. And then---”
“You're stalling, Eros.”
“Alright, dammit!
Anyway
, I mentioned something to Psyche about helping you move on and find 'the one'. Well Ares, still pissed at you from the almost fight ten years ago, was all huffing and such. So, he says it's impossible. No one would want you. I got upset about that. So, I told him, I knew for a fact that not only could you get a woman to love you, but a mortal one.”
“They then, both agreed to this bet, even swearing on the River Styx.” Psyche's soft voice echoed just from the right of him, though I could see her disappointment as she peered at his sorrowful face.
“Well, I'm sorry nephew, but you might as well pay up now. You know I'd never approach a mortal woman. Why would you even suggest that?”
“I know uncle and I'm sorry! It's just—I hate how people look at you. I know there's someone. Everyone has a someone. I think the mortal realm is perfect. It's how I found my wife.”
I knew the story. It was one of the few which gave me hope that I could ever be with someone, but it still didn't give him or my jerk brother the right to put me in the middle of one of their stupid games. Part of me wanted to be angry and I had every right, yet as I looked into the ever-changing eyes of the young man before me, I didn't see malicious intent. I merely saw a person who believed so hard in a happily ever after that he would go against his own flesh and blood to see it happen. I sighed, knowing what I would do. “What are the terms?”
Eros gave me a smile so brilliant I felt the warmth into the depths of my cold being.
“It's simple really. You go down onto earth and take on a mortal's role in life. I've set up everything, from your job to your home. Find a woman, one that just makes your heart sing and dance, and then court her. She must say she loves you, that's the only thing, and it cannot be coerced in any way. See? Easy peasy.”
So says the god who didn't have to go down and do all of this. It really didn't matter though, as I stared at the two young hopefuls. I couldn't decline any easier, than I could forget I once loved the cheating bitch that is his mother.
I glanced to my left, spotting Frias, his one eye boring intensely in my direction. Obviously, he too knew about this, which would explain his oracle behavior back at the volcano.
It'll be okay. Do it.
He mouthed his encouragement at me.
Inexplicably, I felt like the three of them did, maybe I did stand a chance. Perhaps, some good would come from this. I
was
due for a much deserved vacation, so what the hell! Raising my hand, I ordered a round of drinks for all of us.
Eros and Psyche moved over to let my Cyclops friend in next to me at the bar, and we all celebrated through the night. There was a new sense of hope that I would finally find love. Yet, as we laughed and plotted, in the back of my mind, I wondered if this plan would eventually come back to bite me in the ass.
Chapter III
Hephaestus
If I could give one word to explain my entry into the mortal realm, it would have to be chaotic. My trip down with Eros hadn't been one of the smoothest, as he had trouble managing my weight during flight. I've fallen from Olympus before, so I wasn't as scared as he was, but I did worry we'd crash into a lake or a village. That would have been bad.
Luckily, we caught a draft that glided us gently the rest of the way and he dumped me hard onto the ground, my knees leaving two impressive craters. Just a few yards in front of me, he landed on his feet, in a cloud of dust and metallic feathers that impaled the earth. From the tremor that passed, I was certain the Earth Mother was not thrilled with the stabbing.
“Sorry, Gaea!” Eros called out his apologies to the mother, brushing away dirt from his khakis shirt and shaking out his hair.
He reminded me of an overly large bird having a spazz out moment.
Finally, he shrank down until he was a mere speck to my towering god height.
You have to take your mortal form, uncle. Think small.
His voice echoed in my mind. I paused, as small and I did not compute, but I couldn't roam around the way I stood at the moment that was for sure. I wasn't certain what helped me decide to listen to the Love God's instructions. Maybe, when I realized I couldn't tell if my foot was about to crush thousands of homes or the how when the jumbo jet that cruised by my head just then, held a shocked young boy, staring at me through the plane's window.
Whichever it was, I knew he was right, so closing my eyes I envisioned myself as a smaller man and felt a tingle start from my head, traveling to my toes. Different, is the only way I could describe it, but in no time a dizzying wind pressed me down until I stumbled into the younger man. Eros grabbed me, and I was amazed at the strength he held me with, considering our mismatched body frames and how hard the flight in had been for him.
“Whoa there, big fella.” Eros laughed as he steadied me. “There, you go. Uh, you can't get any slighter than that, can you? I guess no matter what your shape is you'll always come in gargantuan.”
I peered down at him, feeling out of my element as I shuddered. There was an odor, strongly unpleasant and it seemed to surround us. “Where are we? It smells awful!”
“Welcome to Niceville, Hephaestus. And that lovely aroma, well that would be the mortals. Don't worry though this is what happens when they combine. Each one comes with its own unique fragrance.”
My nose wrinkled as I followed him down a street where all the houses were lined in neat rows. It was night, maybe after one a.m. so all the humans were quiet, sleeping in peace and ignorance. Good thing, the gods walking down their symmetrically squared lawns were none to fear. The houses were identical mostly, with stucco and stone. Some were fancier and bigger, those obviously belonging to the flashy, richer patrons.
My senses were going haywire with the sounds and scents that accosted me. Several of the homes across from us seemed coated in a musky perfume, one that was familiar to me, but I couldn't place a finger on it.
Eros must have felt my curiosity, because he paused and pointed to the largest on the block, one with pink and white flowers. “That's desire and lust coming from those homes, and that one? Well, that's where Himeros goes a lot. I believe he has a lover in that residence.”