The Touch (Healer Series) (13 page)

  
A real one.

**************************************************

  
Each person is like a snowflake. They land on
earth and from the moment they arrive, their time starts counting down and they
begin to disappear. Some of them are big, collecting others as they go along on
the journey, and others are small, keeping to themselves. Together, they all
make one big population.

  
To some they are beautiful and hopeful. They
are disliked immensely by others. Some make a journey more difficult while some
bring smiles and fun and memories of good days.

  
Each one is different much like every person
on earth, no matter if they have the exact same genetic makeup. There is always
one small distinction that makes each snowflake a bit different from the rest.

  
The same goes with life. Everyone finds
themselves on earth, landing in different places. Some stay for awhile, others
are quickly gone. And while all have different paths and goals in life, they
are, at the heart of the matter, the same; all equally built from a core design
and tweaked to make the world a more interesting place.

  
In her room Addie sat awake, staring at the
ceiling and clutching her pillow. It was moments like this when she knew how
much she disliked Joseph. And that she missed Robert most. Joseph was merely a
warm body. She simply didn’t want to be alone and that was the only reason Joseph
been a part of her life. With AJ around, it was like having a piece of Robert
back, because they shared so many of the same qualities. The only difference
between them that she could see was that AJ wasn’t running away from her even
though things were uncomfortable. At least not physically; although emotionally
he wasn’t giving her what Robert had, either.

  
Addie had always believed that at ninety
years old, she’d be sitting in a hand-carved rocking chair on the front porch
holding hands with her husband, basking in a lifetime of memories and
celebrations as they watched the sun fade to the west on another beautiful day.

  
What she had never anticipated was watching
those sunsets from the window of a hospital room, her baby girl lying in her
arms as time – and her daughter’s father Robert - slipped through her fingers
faster than the sand in an hourglass. While Rose would sleep those first couple
days after she was born, Addie would stand, her arms folded coldly across her
body, and stare out at the beauty she had dreamed of watching together. The
minutes passed and hours disappeared from the clock.
 
Robert hadn’t returned to get them. She clung
frantically to hope that he would.

  
Back at home, by the time the first snowfall
of the season came, he was gone just as quickly as the snowflakes that dotted
her jacket. The separation was more than emotional; it was physical. They’d
been friends since childhood. As a couple they’d only spent a few years
together. His absence chiseled away at her heart because they hadn’t made the
choice to go their separate ways together. He’d left
her
. It left an indelible mark on her and she was constantly afraid
from that point on of being rejected again. She wanted control, to make the
choices, and her steadfast decision to be in charge had led her into one
disastrous choice after another.

  
He’d left behind a beautiful little girl with
corkscrew curls who would think for the rest of her life that her father didn’t
want her. Addie knew that no matter what reason she came up with, Rose would
know the truth. She held her baby in her arms every moment she could and it
chipped away at the ever-growing hole in her heart with each “I miss Daddy” and
“Is Daddy coming home?” the child asked over the years. They both knew the
answer, yet neither wanted to admit it. Addie wanted more for her daughter. She
wanted a good father for her.

  
And she wanted a good husband for herself.
She feared being alone.

  
While they didn’t have any last goodbyes,
they had conversations throughout their relationship where he made her promise
if anything ever happened to him, she would carry on and be happy. He had just
failed to mention that
anything
could
also mean him hightailing it out of town in a trail of dust.

  
She thought about those times often those
first few weeks of Rose’s life, and wanted so badly to honor them, to make
those a lasting memory for her daughter. She felt perhaps if she believed
enough that he had been taken as opposed to having walked away she could make
it real. She felt so broken-hearted at the loss; she could not bring herself to
do more than the daily mom duties and work responsibilities at times. And for
her, that was the worst – Rose deserved more than half a mother.

  
The memories haunted her. She remembered the
day they had last gone to the beach. The sky shone hydrangea blue and the water
slightly chilly as it normally was in the spring. Kids were building sand
castles while she and Robert lay on the blanket and watched, her stomach
a full nine-months
and growing. They enjoyed people-watching
the crowded beach as tourists passed by.

  
He had looked at her as he lifted himself up
on his elbow and shared a fantastic smile that had made her fall in love in the
first place.

  
“What?” she asked, shyly grinning back. He
just smiled wider.

  
“If anything happens to me, promise me you’ll
always stay this happy. As happy as you are right here, in this moment.”

  
“Robert, that’s an awful thing to say!” she
replied. “We’re out here enjoying ourselves. Quit saying things like that!”

  
“Addie, I’m serious,” he said, still
grinning. “Seeing you smile as you watch those cute kids running around, well,
I just can’t imagine you not being that happy.
Ever.”

  
“We’re all
gonna
be
happy together for a real long time,” she replied, returning her glance back to
the beach and adjusting her big sunhat to give her a better view. She had never
envisioned that in just a few short weeks he would be gone of his own free
will. It had all seemed so perfect at that moment.

  
“I know we are. But just in case. Promise me
that.”

  
“Okay, okay, I promise, now shut up already,”
she replied playfully, looking back to give him one more playful smirk.

  
She thought about these moments a lot. Had he
cared that she was stewing around the house, avoiding friends and phone calls,
trying to keep herself completely occupied with activities so that she wouldn’t
have time to be sad? She convinced herself he was doing it to be kind. Maybe he
didn’t believe he could be the father or husband either of them needed. Maybe
he had wanted her to carry on with life and start living again. Maybe he was
giving her the opportunity to start fresh with someone better.

  
Only until the moment she realized he had
left, he’d been perfect. Robert was completely the opposite of Joseph and more
like AJ than she cared to admit.

  
After Robert left, the winter passed and the
blooms sprouted. She carried on with routine for the sake of all she loved. By
summer, her friends were asking to return to mindless, relaxing outings at the
beach. It wasn’t until August that she buckled down her fear of letting people
in again and headed out for the first trip without Robert in as long as she
could remember.

  
She watched the patrons of the beach play and
as she looked back at the blanket they had always shared together, it struck
another painful chord in her heart that Robert’s space was empty. She could
almost see him there, smiling up at her as he’d always done. She glanced back
up in time to see Gram plop down next to her on the rickety Adirondack chair.

  
“What a day!” Gram laughed, her skin speckled
by the sun in the places she had missed applying sunscreen. “I’m feeling a bit
embarrassed about my cheetah-like tan, and would like to get some sleeves on
these puppies,” she said, running her hands up and down her arms. “What’s wrong
Addie?” She could see the disdain on her granddaughter’s face. “It’s a
beautiful day. And the water’s pretty decent. You’ve just been sitting here on this
towel with Rose. You should take her in the water.”

  
“I want to go,” Addie replied, and her voice
cracked. Gram knew exactly what she was thinking and she pulled Addie close to
her. “I just don’t want to be here.”

  
Addie felt her body begin to shake, and her
heart broke for what seemed like the millionth time.

  
“I know,
Lovebug
, I
know,” Gram replied, kissing the top of her head and pulling her even closer.
“I know it’s tough. Rose wants you to be happy and to have fun and to keep
living,” she continued, trying her best to maintain her composure and ease
Addie’s pain. “Look at those chubby little cheeks. She wouldn’t want her mama
to stop living when there’s so much left to do.”

  
“Gram, I’m 18 with a baby. People look at me
like I’ve got the plague because I kept her. Or they look at me with pity
because I’m all alone. I’m the stupid little tramp from Lee.”

  
“Addie, don’t you ever let me hear you talk
like that again!” Gram
said,
her voice strong and
ready for a fight. Gram was a firm believer in loving yourself for who you are
and not worrying what the rest of the world thought.

  
“You did something that other people said
you’re not supposed to do. So what? We all have. And as a result, you were
blessed with this beautiful little bundle of joy. And you chose to have her
instead of
takin
’ the easy way out, making you brave
and courageous. And you put her first, giving up all else to give her a good
home and life. And if anyone ever tries to tell you any different, then they
aren’t worth the breath they’re
spewin
’ because
they’re just jealous they don’t have the moxie you do! If you don’t start
forgiving yourself and living your life, how can you expect your daughter to do
the same as she grows?”

  
Addie smiled. “You got a way with words, you
know that?” Her Gram had been right. If she didn’t heal, forgive and carry on,
how could her baby?

  
The memories of that time were etched in her
mind like a chisel to stone. Engraved on her heart forever, a constant reminder
of how easily people can come and go from one’s life. Looking at the door to
her bedroom, her fingers playing with the fringe on her blanket, she knew that
on the other side was the first man who had made her scared of loss since
Robert.

7
The Visit

The
sun rose upon the tired eyes of two exhausted, lonely people. AJ stretched out
on the couch, watching the beams ease their way through the open blinds, which
he had left that way in an attempt to see Joseph if the belligerent drunk
returned. It hadn’t mattered that the early rising sun would brighten up the
room so early in the morning; sleep wasn’t something he had been anticipating
for the night anyway.

  
He looked towards her room at the heavy oak
door with the prehistoric, chipping white paint. A shiny black vintage doorknob
stood between him and Addie, keeping her from the opportunity to check on her.
He stood up, his body sore from the previous evening’s rush of adrenaline and
the old, uncomfortable couch. The strength with which he had been flexing his
muscles in an effort to intimidate Joseph had taken a toll on his body – one he
didn’t regret in the least as the last 12 hours went by.

  
Walking slowly, he inched his way towards her
door. The old wooden planks of the floor creaked with every step he took and he
cringed, silently willing them to be silent. After what they’d been through, he
thought better about creeping up on her. She most likely didn’t sleep either
and would be well aware of every noise in her surroundings.

  
“Addie?” he whispered, touching the doorknob
gently. “Addie, you awake?”

  
Her first instinct was to pretend to be
asleep. Maybe he’d leave and she wouldn’t have to face the awkwardness for a
few more hours. She knew he’d never be brazen enough to come into such a
personal space uninvited.

  
“Addie?” he whispered again. Resigned to
heading back to the couch until she awoke, he finally heard a hushed voice.

  
“I’m awake,” she whispered back. Her voice
was hoarse, the way it would be after crying all night.

  
“You want some breakfast?” he asked, hoping
she’d say no. He hadn’t cooked a decent meal in years; he wasn’t even sure he’d
remember how to.

  
“No. I just want to be alone for awhile. You
can go, really. I’ll be fine. I’ll catch up with you later.”

  
“You sure?”

  
“I’m sure. Really AJ, I’m sure. He’s not
going to come back during the day. He’s not that stupid.”

  
She was hoping he wasn’t at least.

  
“I’m right next door if you need anything,
okay?”

  
Everything in his body was telling him not to
leave though he needed the distance as much as she did.

  
“I know.”

  
He walked over to the window and looked out
and across at the B&B. Matthew was out front talking to someone. AJ
couldn’t make out who it was as they were standing behind Matthew’s truck. As
his eyes wandered to the right, AJ saw the car and knew immediately who had
driven it into town. He glanced back at Addie’s room one more time and
convinced himself to put one foot in front of the other and out the front door.

  
Walking across the lawn
still barefoot and shirtless from the night before, he relished in the
gentleness of the grass on his feet.
It was a moment of peace in the
midst of a storm.

  
“Max?” he said, a crooked smile on his face.
“What are you doing here? Miss me already?”

  
“Thought I’d come see your little corner of
the world,” he laughed, reaching out to pat AJ on the back. “Met Matthew here,
tells me you’re a good worker.”

  
AJ laughed. “I can be.”

  
“I told him to keep his eyes on you or you’ll
start tinkering with everything and anything. Pretty soon, this
place’ll
be a motel or something with a flashing neon sign.”

  
Matthew enjoyed seeing a friend of AJ’s in
town; it made him feel a little safer about this stranger. He liked AJ enough;
he was just leery of any outsider in his little town until he really got to
know them.

  
“I’m going to let you boys be and check on
Helen. See what she’s up to,” Matthew said. “You want some breakfast?”

  
AJ glanced at Max. “It’s the best breakfast
you’ll ever have.
Helen’s one hell of a cook.”

  
Max nodded.
“Sounds good.
Mind if AJ shows me around a bit, first?”

  
AJ sensed something was up. He’d had a
strange feeling for the last day. He figured it might have been everything that
happened the night before but with Max in town, he knew the feeling of trouble
might mean more.

  
“Not at all,” Matthew responded, heading up
the porch stairs. “Come around in about a half hour. Helen will have something
good for you.”

  
“Okay.” AJ turned to look at Max. “Let’s walk
– I’ll show you around some.”

  
The look on Max’s face told AJ that something
more sinister was going on, so the men began walking back towards the barn
where they could have more privacy.

  
When they were a safe distance from the house
AJ broke the silence.

  
“Why are you really out here, Max?”

  
His closest friend hesitated. He knew AJ’s
senses weren’t as strong as his, and he felt almost bad for being frustrated
that they hadn’t developed more. He knew AJ couldn’t help the pace at which his
gift grew. Max felt a bit like he was leaving the kid to the wolves by leaving
him alone out here when he kept getting the sense that things just weren’t
safe.

  
“You feel anything strange, kid?”

  
“I’m feeling all sorts of strange, Max,” AJ
said, half laughing. “If you only knew the week I’ve had.
Like
I’m in a twilight zone.
Although I’m guessing your idea of strange isn’t
the type related to a woman.”

  
“I gather this has something to do with
coming half dressed out of that lady’s house?”

  
“How do you know it was Addie’s house?”

  
“I didn’t, until you just told me. A few days
ago, I thought you said you were going to back off.”

  
“I was until things got complicated. Nothing
happened. Well, nothing happened between us. Her ex-boyfriend came back, put a
beating on her. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.”

  
“Seems to be your habit,” Max said with a
smile.

  
“So what’s up? I just saw you. I’m surprised
to see you out here. It’s a long drive this early in the morning, must be
something important for you to make the trip.”

  
“I just feel like there’s something going on,
AJ. Something’s going to happen.”

  
“What exactly?”

  
“I’m not sure. Feels to be a Grim, but it
feels different. The whole situation is creepy. It doesn’t feel the same as it
has in the past. I can’t put my finger on it. Something is bizarre. I wanted to
see how it felt out here by you, make sure you were okay.”

  
“I’m okay,” AJ replied, folding his arms
across his chest. “You got me a little scared, I’m not
gonna
lie. What do you think this is? I’ve been feeling off too, like a bad omen or
something.”

  
“Same here.
I really
don’t know. First time I’ve felt this way since I found out I was a Healer. I
just want you to be careful, call me if anything odd comes up. I don’t even
know what to tell you to watch out for other than that. I needed to see for
myself. Maybe it’s nothing.”

  
“Let’s hope for nothing,” AJ replied,
shifting his weight back and forth from one foot to another. Max took note of
his bare, dirty feet.

  
“You don’t wear shoes anymore?”

  
“Not when I’m bolting into the middle of a
fight moments after relaxing in bed.”

  
“Sounds like you have a story for me,” Max
replied, slapping AJ on the back. “You’re
creeping
me
out a little, this whole only-wearing-shorts thing. It’s like you’re joining a
boy band or something. There’s a whole vibe you got going there.”

  
“Shut up,” AJ laughed.

  
“No really, is this how you’re picking up the
ladies? You just need a few more tattoos and a guitar and you’d be golden.
Maybe I’m going about it all wrong. I’m being too modest, making sure I
actually get dressed before I leave the house.”

  
AJ laughed, looking down and kicking the dirt
with his shoeless foot. Whereas AJ spent his lonely hours working out, Max
spent his free time reading and educating himself on anything and everything
possible - one of the many luxuries of potentially having decades to do so. You
can pick up a lot of knowledge in a couple hundred years. AJ was thankful to
have someone who knew so much on his side.

  
He really wanted to ask Max about Addie and
what he should do. He had, somewhat, when they spoke last. Maybe if Max knew
everything that had gone on he would break his normal code of letting people
figure life out for
themselves
and just give him a
push in the right direction.

  
He also wanted to ask his friend about
Isabelle. It was the same question he’d asked Max a hundred times before.
 
The answer was consistently rejected by his overworked
brain. He needed reminders about why they couldn’t save everyone to lessen the
guilt that stirred inside his heart. Being told again that it wasn’t his choice
was something he hoped would ease his pain, although he knew it never did.

  
Max noticed AJ’s face grow serious.

  
“What’s going on with you?”
 

  
Max knew the look. AJ had worn the disguise
often, not yet forming the gruff exterior some Healers had from years of their
craft. He wasn’t sure he ever would. The kid had a heart of gold and the
demeanor to go with it. He looked like a giant warrior while he was still the
soft-hearted teddy bear girls always said they wanted.

  
“It’s about a girl. A little one, name is
Isabelle,” he clarified, knowing Max would immediately assume it was Addie.
“A little girl in town.
We met yesterday at a party for her.
A fundraiser, actually.
She’s got cancer.”

  
“And the visions weren’t good,” Max filled
in, knowing where the conversation was going. AJ wasn’t much for hiding his
emotions. They were always clearly written on his face. Max had repeatedly
teased AJ that he’d make a terrible poker player.

  
“No,” AJ said slowly. “No they weren’t. They
weren’t entirely bad – her mom and dad are going to make sure that there is
better cancer care for children at the local hospital, which will end up being
an amazing thing for the sick kids in local towns around here, but it’s still….”

  
“Unfair. I know AJ. I know.” Max understood.

  
It had taken Max his first 100 years to
finally be able to handle the fact that these choices weren’t his to make.

  
“I know you want to save everyone. And I know
that the children are the hardest.”

  
“It was her eyes, Max. They were beautiful.
The eyes of an angel, really.
She was so innocent, so sweet.
And she knew who I was.”

  
“They usually do. Kids still believe in magic
and have faith in the good of the world. Makes it so much harder, I know.
Sometimes, you just have to focus on other things. There’s a reason that some
people live and some don’t. Healing is the one thing people can’t buy with
their money, bribe for, or steal. That’s one of the reasons why what we do
matters, why it works.
Doesn’t matter if someone is dirt poor
or rich and famous.
Hell, Einstein suffered a liver disease. He was
cured because he had more theoretical work to complete – the same reason he was
cured of a heart illness later in his life. He had to keep going to do great
things that changed the world, and he did. It’s the things like this that
remind us why we do what we do.”

  
AJ’s arms were folded, his voice choking up
at the mere memory of his time with Isabelle. “She whispered in my ear that she’d
be okay. She only wanted me to watch over her mom and dad and brothers. It was
gut-wrenching. And then she looked at me and whispered that it was okay.”

  
AJ could feel the tears on the verge of
overflowing onto his face. It didn’t matter how built he got; when it came down
to it, his feelings were something he never wanted to sacrifice. He’d heard Max
talk about Healers who shut down their emotions, who pushed them aside and
turned into a zombie of a person. AJ didn’t want that. All of the feelings of
happiness, sadness, pain and fear made him feel alive - a stronger, better
person. While the situations were often heartbreaking like Isabelle’s cancer,
he felt a sense of relief in the tears. They meant he was breathing, that he
was real. They meant he had a heart and soul.
A good one,
too.