The Suit (26 page)

“I hate you,” I mumble to Nikki as I lie on her bed. She’s perched at her desk, staring at her computer. She laughs, but doesn’t turn to me.

“You had fun,” she retorts.

“But now, I’m not having fun. I feel like ass.”

“I hate to tell you this, but you look like it, too,” she snorts. “Don’t worry, Joey and the others are taking care of everything this morning. You’ll have to work the next two Sundays and exercise the horses to make up for it. Then they can have the day off, too.”

I roll from my side to my back slowly, my head pounding as I do. “How much did I drink last night?”

“I stopped counting around the sixth shot.”

“I think I blacked out. What the hell? What happened?”

“Well, you kissed Dierk.”

I shoot up immediately. “What?” I shriek.

“Yeah, you were both wasted, but Joey and I pulled you two apart before anything happened.”

“I kissed him. Something obviously happened.”

“Chill, Edie. It was only a friendly little kiss. You guys weren’t Frenching or anything. He asked you for a birthday kiss so you gave him a little peck.”

“You know it wasn’t just friendly for Dierk. Can you stop staring at your damn computer and turn around and talk to me?”

“I’m scanning Parker’s Facebook page.”

“Parker?” My curiosity is officially piqued. Maybe he’s mentioned Suit.

“Yeah, listen to this latest post. ‘Need to take my roommate out tonight to help him drown his blues away in a bottle of whiskey.’”

“You think he’s talking about Suit?”

“That is his roommate,” she says dryly.

I flop back down on the bed. “Why would Suit be blue?”

“Oh my God!” Nikki groans. “You guys are fucking hopeless!” She jumps out of her chair, flies across the room, and tackles me on the bed.

“What are you doing?” I grunt as her full weight makes contact with my body.

“You two love each other! This is dumb!” she shouts as she straddles me.

“Are you crazy?” I shriek as she attempts to wrestle my arms above my head.

“I’m going to hold you down and knock some sense in to you!” she shouts as we struggle.

I push her off of me and to the side and climb out of the bed, but tumble to the floor. Heaving myself up, I yell, “He left! He bailed in the middle of the night without a word!”

“He left a letter.” She stands facing me from the other side of the bed, her blue eyes wide; her face red.

“A goodbye letter,” I argue.

“It wasn’t a goodbye letter, Edie.”

I stare at her confused. “You read it?”

“Yes,” she states simply.
“While you were in the shower.” She turns and grabs her purse from her desk. She pulls out the folded piece of yellow tablet paper. “Read it. Now!” she orders me, pushing the letter at me.

“I can’t,” I shake my head.

“Fine,” she huffs. “I’ll read it to you.” She gives me a pointed look before she clears her throat obnoxiously, unfolding the letter, and begins.

Edie,

By the time you read this, I’ll be gone. I’m sorry for the way I left, but I couldn’t bear to see you cry in the morning. Leaving you is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Leaving you feels like I’m leaving home all over again.

My life has been planned for some years now. I’ve known exactly what I wanted and where I wanted to be. Nothing would get in my way.

But when I met you, my plans seemed so stupid and selfish. You’ve reminded me of something I loved once, something I lived and breathed. You’ve reminded me of the man I once was.

The gist of it is, Edie, I’m in love with you. I know I don’t deserve you, but I can’t help how I feel. So I’m leaving, but I’ll come back if you want me to. I wanted you to have some time and not feel pressured to make a decision.

I’ve had dreams, Edie, big ones that I’ve worked so hard for, but all of them, every single one doesn’t compare to me wanting to be the man by your side.

If you don’t call, if you decide I’m not what you want, please know, I’ll always cherish the memories of this summer we’ve shared.

~Suit

I stare at Nikki, momentarily stunned silent. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?

“He wants to be with you.” She finally breaks the quiet.

“Or he did,” I answer numbly.

“What?”

“It’s been almost three weeks, Nikki. He probably hates me for not calling or responding to his letter.”

“It’s been three weeks,” she reiterates. “Not three years.”

I flop back down on her bed with a groan. “Okay. So what happens if I call him? Maybe he’d give it all up to be with me and then what? Hate me for the rest of his life when he comes here and is miserable.”

“Did you even listen to what the letter said? You
are
his dream, Edie!” Her voice heightens and I stare up at her. “He’s in love with you. Why is that so hard for you to believe?”

“I can believe it!” I yell back. “But what I can’t believe is, that it’s enough for him to give up his plans. He wanted New York and the city life. He hates horses now!”

“So you’re just going to let him go?” Her words slice me to my core. I don’t want to let him go. I want him with me every day for the rest of forever.

“What do I do?”

“Call him,” she answers and snatches my cell phone off her night stand. “Right now,” she orders as she thrusts the phone in my face.

I take the phone from her and scroll through my contacts until I find his number. Taking a deep breath, I wait as his phone rings. When his voicemail picks up, I decide
it’s better this way. I’ll put the ball back in his court and let him contact me if he still wants to.

“Suit,
it’s Edie. Listen, I just read your letter and…” I pause and look up at Nikki. She motions her hands for me to continue. “I love you and I want you. Call me.” With that, I snap my phone closed and clench my eyes shut.

“That was…”

“Enough,” I say. “I said enough. It’s up to him now.”

I make it home by four and run myself a hot bath. As soon as I submerge myself in the hot water, memories float into my mind of Suit behind me, washing me, feathering my neck with kisses. I swallow back the tears and try to push down my fears. What if he doesn’t call me back? What if he assumed I didn’t want him and met someone else already? I can’t bear it anymore so I pull the stopper on the tub and climb out. I head to my room and pull on his T-shirt.
I
still haven’t washed it because it still smells like him
. And then I head to the living room where I curl up on my sofa. There’s a picture of Daddy Bud on the side table and I pick it up and stare into his eyes.

“I wish you were here to tell me what to do,” I whisper. “I miss you so damn much.”

Flipping on the television, I flick through the channels until I find
The Fifth Element
and pull my grandma’s quilt over me. I don’t know when I dozed off, but at some point I awake to the sound of someone knocking on my door.

I fumble off the sofa and drag myself to the door. I’m barely awake when I realize Suit is standing on my front porch staring at me. All of the air in my lungs escapes me in one large whoosh. He’s here. Am I dreaming?

“Hi,” he says nervously, his hands shoved in his pockets. He’s wearing jeans and a tight black T-shirt, looking sexy as hell. I look like I just woke up and probably have horrible breath.

“Hi,” I answer back, swallowing the lump in my throat. I can’t believe he’s here. It was only a few hours ago that I called him.

“I like your shirt,” he nods in my direction and I look down and realize it’s his shirt I’m wearing. Heat crawls up my neck to my face and I stare at the floor.

“It was all I could find to put on,” I lie. What am I supposed to tell him? That I’ve been wearing this shirt every night for almost a month because it still smells like him?

“It looks good on you,” he says, and my eyes jerk up to meet his. “May I come in?”

“Oh, yeah, of course.” I step out of the way so he can pass by. He enters, bringing in a carry-on suitcase with him, sitting it in the doorway to the kitchen.

“Listen. I probably should have called first, but I needed to do this face-to-face. I should have done this face-to-face the day I left, but I was…” His words trail off as he runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t want to pressure you or put you on the spot,” he continues, “but I have something I need to say and I need you to hear it.” His brown eyes seem weary; lacking their usual brightness. He looks tired. Every part of me wants to reach out and touch him, wrap my arms around him, press my lips to his, but I wait. Maybe he came here to let me down easy. To tell me that I wasted too much time and he’s moved on. So I cross my arms and nod.

“Go on.”

He takes a step toward me and puts his warm hands on my shoulders. Just that simple touch sends desire spiraling through my veins. I want him so badly. He leans slightly as if he wants to kiss me, but stops himself and my heart sinks, disappointed he didn’t. “I have a scene I’d like us to act out.” He clears his throat and turns away from me. I watch him as he unzips the front pocket of his suitcase and pulls out a couple pieces of printer paper. When he turns back to me, his gaze meets mine and he gives me an unsure smile. He holds out one paper to me and I take it.

“You read tonight,” he says as he walks over to the sofa and leans against the back of it, crossing his arms, holding the other papers in one hand. God, he looks so freaking sexy I can’t stand it.

“What book is it from?” I ask, hoping my staring at him isn’t too obvious.

“It’s not from a book, I wrote it.”

“You wrote it?” I question baffled.

“Yeah,” he snickers.

“Well, what are our characters names?”

He laughs softly. “Well, you’re this beautiful farm girl who has no idea how amazing she is. Your character’s name is Edie. And I’m playing this idiot guy who left her and hopes he can get her back. My characters’ name is Johnny.”

A knot forms in my throat. He’s here to get me back? Before I have time to ask another question, he says, “Just read it, please.” His gaze is steady on me, his body tense. I can tell he’s nervous.